


The Cousins Lavellan

by Amariahellcat



Series: The Cousins Lavellan [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amaris is the quiet Inquisitor, Ayr is the flirty cousin, Bonding, Cullenlingus, Cullens infatuation with the Warden comes up, F/M, Fire and Ice, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Marriage, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Slow Build, Smut, That pisses Cullen off to begin with, They despise each other at first, They're cousins okay, Two Lavellans, Two romances, lyrium overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:55:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 136,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amariahellcat/pseuds/Amariahellcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amaris Lavellan stumbled out of the Fade with a new marking and new destiny, one she didn't ask for or want.</p><p>Her burden is made only slightly easier by her cousin's presence, fighting against the destruction now set upon the world.</p><p>Neither expected to find friends in their companions, joy in their experiences.</p><p>Amaris had not expected Solas to be as comforting and knowledgeable as he is, a trusted ally and, perhaps, something more.</p><p>Ayr would deny until she was blue in the face that she felt anything for Commander Cullen Rutherford but an odd sort of annoyance and respect, given how rocky their first meeting had been. And yet... things change, and she is left more confused and determined then ever.</p><p>I suck at summaries. An AU where two Lavellans come to Haven - one branded with the mark and the other merely to help - and how their journeys unfold from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cousins Lavellan

**Author's Note:**

> So.... hi. This is my first story on this site, and also my first story for this fandom.
> 
> I am quite honestly terrified, and hope that I've done a good job bringing my idea to life in this story.
> 
> It all started when I bought DA:I two weeks ago. I beat it with my first Inquisitor, Amaris, and went through Trespasser and then...
> 
> Immediately started a new playthrough, needing MORE. And because I'm a lose, my second Inquisitor was also a female, elf, mage. Because that's how I roll.
> 
> And so this idea was born, and I hope other people like it. There's nothing mature here YET, but... I'd rather have the rating set, just to be safe. Kudos and comments much appreciated, I hope you like it! (Also, I do NOT have a beta, so I apologize for any mistakes I've missed)

**Chapter One: The Cousins Lavellan**

 

Amaris woke to what was now familiar sounds and smells, streams of sunlight pouring in through the windows of the little cabin she'd been allotted for herself.

 

It had not been a deep sleep, anyhow; the deep, comforting reaches of the Fade were presently lost to her, due either to the glowing mark on her hand or the utter strangeness of having so much space to herself at night.

 

Amaris was Dalish, and while not overtly proud or perturbed by that fact, she was not used to having her own _bed_ , let alone _cabin_.

 

 _Worries for another day,_ she chided mentally, forcing herself up and out of the warm blankets, shivering as the chilly mountain air hit her skin, _Best see to whatever task awaits you, no point in delaying._

 

To say her world had been turned upside down would be the understatement of the century. Her assignment at the Conclave - to spy for her clans Keeper, to see what happened at the meeting of the Mages and the Templars - should have been a simple one. Get in, see and hear what you can, get out.

 

But then... _it_ had happened, whatever 'it' had been, and the next thing she'd known she was snapping awake in a set of chains, left hand throbbing and glowing sickly green while the Seeker had demanded answers.

 

Divine Justinia was dead, along with everyone else that had been at the Conclave. _Everyone_.

 

Except Amaris, who couldn't remember a single detail of what had happened.

 

The Seeker - Cassandra Pentaghast - had, somehow, seen fit to give her a chance, and Amaris had been more than willing to help if it meant clearing her name and stopping... whatever that thing in the sky and on her hand was.

 

That first journey had been... eventful, and insightful. Varric she was glad to have along, for his quick-wit and sharp tongue kept things from seeming quite as _terrible_ as they really were.

 

The other man that had joined them - Solas, an elvhen apostate like herself -  was intriguing, but there had been no time to focus on it asides from appreciating the help and knowledge he offered.

 

They'd done it, though. Fought through the demons and stabilized both the breech and the mark on her hand, earning her a brief reprieve. _It will kill you_ , Solas had said when they'd first met, but now, perhaps, she had time to fix things before it _could_.

 

That had been... how many weeks ago, now? She'd been unconscious for days before awakening in the dungeon, then out for another few days after stabilizing the breach.

Since then, she'd been so busy she hadn't had a chance to really check what _day_ it was - first meeting the advisors, then the official beginning of the Inquisition, running missions into the Hinterlands and surrounding areas...

 

 _The Herald of Andraste._ Amaris rolled it around in her mind for a moment, pulling on her boots as she forced herself _not_ to snort in a very Ayr-like way at the thought.

 

She was an Elf, for goodness sake; she didn't even know any of the Lore or history about Andraste, or many of the other human prophets, for that matter. But... well, if it kept people off her back, and helped rally more support for the Inquisition, let them call her what they would.

 

So long as it wasn't something derogatory, she didn't mind.

 

Properly dressed, Amaris snatched her staff from its place beside the bedroom door and headed out, pausing on the front step to suck in a deep, chilling breath of mountain air before trudging towards the Chantry.

 

She paused to speak with Varric at his usual haunt near the main fire-pit, sharing a brief 'good-morning' and a few words before continuing onwards.

 

Threnn offered her suggestions on requisitions as she passed, Chancellor Roderick shooting her his usual displeased expression as she continued forwards to the Chantry doors.

 

Mother Giselle - warm and welcoming as ever, since she'd recovered her from the refugee camps in The Hinterlands - greeted her as she passed through the main hall, Amaris nodding respectfully as she made for The War Room.

 

Though she was by now familiar with The War Room and her councillors, Amaris made sure to open the door slowly and with a loud _creak_ , alerting the three at the table to her presence.

 

Josephine smiled encouragingly, Leliana smirked and rolled her eyes, and Cullen gave her a respectful nod.

 

"Good morning," Amaris greeted, folding her hands behind her back and trying, as she did every day, to seem _professional_ and _aloof_ , "Where shall we begin today?"

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Ash and smoke and broken walls, the scents of death and destruction and _terror_ clogging her nose with every step further into what had been the Temple of Sacred Ashes. People - or rather their charred, immortal remains - littered the area, making her hackles rise further.

 

 _Three weeks_ ago, the Conclave had exploded, and yet everything was the same as that day, so far as she could tell. Everything was permanently, terrifyingly petrified.

 

And then there was the _red stuff_ growing out of the ground and the walls and _what is it? Lyrium? Lyrium isn't red. Better not touch it._

 

Death and destruction and _still_ no sign of Amaris.

 

Still, she would not give up; Amaris was _not dead_. She would not believe it until she saw the other woman's corpse, and she prayed that day was far, _far_ away.

 

Searching, she found what she'd been looking for; footsteps, mixed and stepped over again and again, but not permanent like the rest of the remnants of the temple.

 

 _You've got your lead, Ayr,_ the redhead looked up and scowled, huffing out a breath and starting up the hill, _Follow it._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

"Have you always travelled and studied alone?" Amaris questioned softly, hoping - for the thousandth time - that she was not prying too much.

 

Solas only smiled - that small quirk of his lips he'd get whenever she asked him questions, "Not at all. I have built many lasting friendships."

 

Surprisingly, Amaris had been given leave for the day, as the advisors had things under control and no one was demanding attention from 'The Herald of Andraste' today. She had even managed to sneak around the tavern and _not_ be snagged by Sera on her way to Solas' hut, a feat in and of itself. Some days - like when Sera had decided it would be a good idea to try to steal _Cullen's_ breaches (key word being _try_ ) - Amaris rather wished she hadn't recruited the strange young rebel.

 

She snapped from her thoughts when she realized Solas had been speaking the entire time, words filtering through her mind as she frowned, hoping desperately that she wasn't blushing, "I've never heard of Spirits by those names?"

 

"They do not often show themselves, as they do not usually survive the encounters they have with people," Solas explained easily, a certain edge of sadness tracing his features, "Wisdom and Purpose are too easily twisted to Pride and Desire."

 

"Those are demon names." Amaris spoke slowly, "You're saying you became friends with Pride and Desire demons?"

 

"They were not demons for me."

 

"Meaning...?"

 

"The Fade reflects the mind; if you expect a Spirit of Wisdom to be a Pride demon, it will adapt. But if you approach it with knowledge and understanding, a Spirit can be a fast friend."

 

"That's amazing." Amaris's voice had taken a breathy tone unintentionally, but this was what she loved; learning, discovering new knowledge and facts, breaching out past the sheltered beliefs of her own clan.

 

Solas clearly approved of her enthusiasm, quirking a grin, "Anyone who is willing to try could do the same. My friends comforted me in grief, and shared in my joy. And yet... because they had no physical form, the Chantry declares that Spirits are not people. Do we define people by how they look, rather than how they act? How they feel?"

 

"You have an interesting way of looking at the world, Solas," Amaris bit the inside of her cheek in embarrassment, the words coming out much more rambly and random then she'd intended. So much for taking a page from Ayr; flirting was not something she was _practiced_ at.

 

Luckily, Solas only looked intrigued, eyebrows lifting, "I try, and... that isn't quite an answer."

 

 _Now_ the blonde smiled, trying to _not_ show how thrilled she was that her flirting had, apparently, _worked_... at least slightly. "I look forward to helping you make new friends."

 

"That should be..." Solas hesitated, clearing his throat, "...well."

 

Amaris could only laugh, glad she wasn't the only one out of her comfort zone, "That isn't quite an answer, either."

 

Solas looked as though he were about to say something else when both of them paused, listening.

 

"D'you hear that?" she murmured, gaze turning towards the front gates in the distance.

 

"Shouting?" Solas frowned, eyes narrowed.

 

"We should check it out."

 

Amaris was moving as she spoke, but she was glad when Solas fell into step beside her, the two calmly picking their way through the gathering crowds and eventually making it to the front gates.

 

They were nearly there when a spark of magic - _familiar_ magic - washed over Amaris, making her gasp in surprise and recognition.

 

 _No way. It couldn't be-_ but she scrambled for the gates all the same, yanking the door open even as Solas questioned her from behind, _but that magic, it feels like-_

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Cullen had retreated from the War Room not long after they had dismissed the Herald, heading back out to the main gates to oversee the training of the new recruits.

 

Leliana and Josephine had things under control, they assured him.

 

"Right now, we need to worry about making connections and gathering allies," Josephine had checked something else off on her never-ending list, smiling ruefully, "I have sent letters to everyone I can think of, and the Herald has done much good in her efforts to secure new agents. As it stands, however, we cannot approach either the Mages or the Templars for support."

 

"My spies are looking into every lead we've come across, as well," Leliana peered closely at a marking on the map, then moved a piece from further away, face a mask of concentration, "Right now, it is best you see to the growing troops, Commander. They will be needed in the days ahead."

 

_Fine by me._

 

With the troops was where Cullen felt most comfortable, anyways. Ex-Templar as he was, he was used to being in the thick of training or battle, not standing behind a War Table making decisions.

 

As former Knight Commander yes, he had been used to making decisions and giving orders, but now, if he could spend time with the troops instead, that was where he would be.

 

The Herald he spotted off in the distance with Solas, allowing a brief smirk as he greeted Varric on his way out the front gates. Amaris had taken an immediate shine to the other elf and, well, if it kept her in good spirits, who was he to complain.

 

They all needed _something_ good to keep them going through all of this mess.

 

Cullen paused just outside the gates, breathing in the air as they were closed tightly behind him, sparing a moment to just take it all in. Haven wasn't perfect for their cause, but it was certainly amenable.

 

Rolling his shoulders to stretch out the knots and preparing to head to Cassandra - practicing a bit away from the other troops, as she intimidated the new comers just a _little_ \- Cullen froze when something flashed at the corner of his eye, coming down the road towards Haven.

 

Turning his head fully, the Commander frowned, stepping down from the stairs to put himself in the figures path, hand coming to rest automatically on his sword.

 

It was one person, a woman as far as he could tell from the distance, striding purposefully towards him. It wasn't strange for people to arrive at Haven daily, wanting to join the Inquisition or even just escape from demons or the like.

 

This woman, however, had his hackles raised for no reason, an air around her that spoke of intent and danger and _power_.

 

She was also coming from the direction of the massacred Temple, which set his alarm bells off even further.

 

Once closer, Cullen could make out details; shocking red hair styled in curls and swept to the right of her head, the left half-shaved just above the ear - _pointed, an elf_ \- and eyes a bright, furious sea-green that had locked on him the second he stepped into her path.

 

The markings on her face said she was Dalish, and he was struck by a sudden vague _familiarity_. She certainly did not _look_ like Amaris, and yet there was something about her that reminded him of the Herald, her similar clothing and markings if nothing else. She also bore a _very vague_ similarity to another elf he had known, years before, and the staff that peaked over her shoulder furthered his worries.

 

_An elvhen mage._

 

Cullen steeled himself for the confrontation as she drew closer, crossing his arms and settling into a stance that would have sent even the newest of his trainees cowering under recognized authority.

 

The elf only continued towards him, pace not lessening until she was maybe five feet from him.

 

"Welcome to Haven, traveler," he attempted, needing to assuage her intent before acting rashly, "Are you here to join the-"

 

"Where is Amaris?" she cut him off, in a voice both young and angry, filled with intent and knowing.

 

"Beg pardon?"

 

The elvhen woman bared her teeth, "Where. is. Amaris?"

 

"I'm afraid I do not listen to strange elvhen apostates without knowing _who they are_ or _what they intend_ , first," Cullen took a step forwards, using his height to stare down at her, "State your business and maybe I can help."

 

"I don't have time for this, _Templar_ ," she hissed, and Cullen could feel as much as see the magic circling her hands, fists clenching and unclenching as she apparently fought to restrain herself, "I _need_ to see _Amaris_! Is she _alive_?"

 

 _That_ caught him slightly off guard, especially the slight waver that had entered her voice on the last word. Even as he caught Cassandra's eyes over the woman's shoulder - the Seeker ready to help if necessary - he wondered again _who_ this strange woman was.

 

"Amaris is-"

 

"Ayr?"

 

The new voice caught all of them off guard, all eyes snapping to the now opened Gates and the blonde woman stepping through them.

 

All at once the magic surrounding the woman's hands dissipated, the tension in her bleeding away along with her aggressiveness, "Thank Mythal..."

 

" _Ayr_!" Amaris was flying down the steps and throwing her arms around the other elf before Cullen could even blink, rattling off quick bursts of elvhen that he couldn't even _hope_ to catch.

 

 _Ayr?_ Cullen stepped back to give the two - obviously well acquainted - women some space, the name bouncing around in his head. That had been the name of... no, maybe it was a common name among the Dalish, just a coincidence.

 

It was several minutes before the two elvhen women stopped conversing in their mother tongue, though they both seemed much more at peace then they had before. The redhead was actually _smiling_ , and he had the briefest thought that it lit her face up before he pushed it away.

 

"I can't believe you _found_ me," Amaris was laughing as she slipped back into Common, likely realizing no one else could understand them (except maybe Solas, who Cullen noticed was watching and listening from the foot of the steps).

 

" _Please_ , Amaris, as if I've ever had a hard time finding _you_. We were _worried_! It's been three weeks and there'd been no word!" the redhead bit her lip, looking away bashfully, "I, uh, thought I should come find you, obviously. Even if.. well..."

 

"Ayr..." the Herald's voice had gone low suddenly, dangerous in its intensity, "Don't tell me you didn't...?"

 

"I may have... _failed_ to inform the Keeper that I was leaving to find you. Or... anyone else, for that matter."

 

"Ayr!" Amaris through her hands up, punctuating the exclamation with a burst of muttered elvhen, "Now they'll think we're _both_ dead!"

 

" _Or_ we could write a _letter_ , like _normal people_!" 'Ayr' shot back, "Which is what would have been nice to have gotten from _you_."

 

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, I've been... busy." Amaris hesitated at the word, and Cullen could see her clenching her left hand into a fist, trying to hide the mark, "I'd... better explain what's happened, cousin. But, come, first, I should introduce you..."

 

Amaris turned to the group that had gathered then - Cassandra and Solas standing near Cullen to watch the exchange, the troops standing in a wide circle around the two elves - giving a much brighter smile then he'd seen from her in the short time they'd been acquainted.

 

"I apologize. This is my cousin, Ayr, of clan Lavellan."

 

Ayr nodded to the group, making sure to lift her chin and give Cullen a narrowed look when their eyes met. He realized, now that the two were side-by-side, that their facial markings were identical, if different colours, "Charmed. I came to make sure my cousin was alright, since we had heard no word of her after the Conclave."

 

"And will you be returning to your clan, now that you have seen she is alright?" Cassandra questioned, Cullen mentally hoping the answer would be _yes_ , given the ferocity and wild temper he'd seen on her moments before. Yes, the Inquisition needed all the allies they could get, and being related to Amaris would guarantee loyalty, but if she didn't do well with authority they would have a problem.

 

Ayr seemed to sense his thought process, green eyes watching him for a moment before she shrugged, attention returning to her cousin, "Not sure yet, depends. _First_ , I'd like to sit down with my cousin and find out _what the hell happened_. I came through what remains of the Temple. What the _fuck_ happened, Amaris? It's a _nightmare_ through there."

 

"I'll explain everything, as much as I can, anyways. Come," Amaris linked hands with her cousin easily, nodding to her other companions, "Let's go to my cabin, we can talk there. I apologize, friends, I will attend council later."

 

Cullen nodded to the Herald, "Let us know if you need anything."

 

"Of course, thank you, Cullen."

 

Amaris tugged her cousin's hand and led her towards the stairs, sharing a quick smile with Solas that flushed her pale cheeks and had her walking faster.

 

Ayr caught the blush and her eyes narrowed at the elvhen male, yet she managed to catch Cullen's eye again before they entered the gates, an almost _smirk_ spreading over her lips.

 

 _Nothing but trouble_ , Cullen scowled and turned to the still-watching troops, raising his voice and ordering them back to work, mood slightly soured, _Like yet another elvhen mage from so long ago._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

As promised, Amaris was prompt at the War Meeting later that night, ready to go over plans and strategies.

Unfortunately, Ayr was with her, changed into slightly less bulky armor but with her staff still strapped across her back.

 

"She is as paranoid as me." Cassandra had muttered with a hint of approval that made Cullen frown.

 

"Herald..." it was Josephine who voiced their concerns, thankfully, leaving Cullen to brood mentally, "As much as we respect your decisions, this is the War Room. We did not expect you to bring another along."

 

"I apologize, Lady Josephine, but I feel that Ayr should come to these meetings as well, now that she is here." Amaris kept her voice level, trying to smile placidly, "She has always been an asset to me, and I value her opinions."

 

"Amaris has explained what happened at the Conclave. Or what she remembers, in any case," Ayr's voice was much calmer this time, Cullen noted, her arms crossed easily across her chest, "And I want to help. Our clan is doing _nothing_ , and they won't miss me. I'm better off here, being of use." She met Cullen's eyes briefly before looking to Josephine, Leliana and Cassandra in turn, "I will do my best to aid without getting in the way, I swear."

 

"Very well. I suppose it is the _least_ we can do, for our Herald." Leliana's eyes were on Cullen as she spoke, a knowing tilt to her lips and _Maker's breath what now_.

 

"Our next step is following one of the leads we have been presented with." Josephine broke through the tension, clearly wanting to move things along, "There is the invitation to Redcliffe Village from Grand Enchanter Fiona, as well as to visit Lady Vivienne in Val Royeaux."

 

"Then there is the meeting request with The Iron Bull on the Storm Coast," Leliana added, playing with a piece on the table, "All matters we should _definitely_ look into."

 

"I'd say Lady Vivienne should be my first stop, perhaps," Amaris spoke carefully, considering the tokens spread out on the war table, "She could be a valuable ally, and she has high connections. She is also known to host parties every night, so I could go tonight and be done with it."

 

"An excellent decision, my lady. I will make preparations for the journey at once."

 

"I'll go with her." Ayr shared a look with her cousin, who nodded, "For extra security; I doubt they want a full _party_ going, but one person shouldn't cause a fuss."

 

Cullen's first instinct was to disagree, but Cassandra nodded and shot him a look to keep him quiet, "That does sound like a good idea. We do not want the Herald alone in case of any problems."

 

"Then it's settled." Josephine jotted down another note, nodding to herself, "I will see to the invitation and have the stables prepare mounts."

"Thank you, Lady Josephine; we will prepare ourselves as well."

 

Amaris nodded to her advisors and turned, Ayr following in her wake with a quick wave to them.

 

"Before you argue with my decision," Cassandra drawled, eyes on the Commander, "It is true that having someone _with_ the Herald is a good idea, and if we cannot trust her _cousin_ to protect her, who _can_ we trust?"

 

"We've only just met her, Cassandra, how do we know she can be trusted? Or, for that matter, that she is even _skilled_ enough to protect the Herald?"

 

"Did you not _see_ the flames around her hands as you argued?" the Seeker shot back, "Did you not _feel_ the raw magic coming off of her in waves? She is _powerful_ , Cullen, as is Amaris. They will be _fine_."

 

"For a woman who was sure the Herald was _guilty_ the first time they met, you're certainly eager to trust this stranger."

 

Cassandra's gaze softened in understanding, "I know I was harsh, Cullen, but I have changed. Amaris... has proven herself worthy and innocent, and she fights as hard as any Commander or Seeker I have ever seen. I regret how harsh I was with her in the beginning, and I would not greet Ayr the same way."

 

"You do not need to _like_ her to _trust_ her, Cullen," Leliana soothed, though her smile was anything but, "Although I must say, it was quite entertaining to see you so riled up in the face of a woman."

 

"Of _course_ you saw that." Cullen grumbled, gaze returning to the War Table, "Now, are we doing any more _work_ , or are we just playing the 'mess with the Commander' game today?"

 

"Apologies, Cullen, let us continue."

 

 _Let's,_ he thought, gaze flicking to the door the two elvhen had exited through, _As I fear we have our work cut out for us._


	2. Redcliffe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I realized I jumbled things a bit. Josephine says 'We can't approach either the mages or templars yet' and then woops, they've already gotten Fiona's invite to Redcliffe... ahaha, oh well, moving along.
> 
> Ayr is turning out to be the main character, and while that's not a bad thing, I HAD originally intended to split equally between she and Amaris. But alas, muses do as they like, and it seems she and Cullen are destined to snark at each other until the end of time.
> 
> There WILL be Solavellan later on; right now it's a lot of relationship building, and I feel Ayr and Cullen need the more work with that... 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left Kudos! You rock! <3 I hope someone continues to enjoy this!
> 
> Also, I have a tumblr where I'm posting screenshots from the game, if you'd like to see Amaris and Ayr: http://cousinslavellan.tumblr.com/
> 
> Enjoy! <3

**Chapter Two: Redcliffe**

 

Three days later and after much preparation for The Heralds trip to Redcliffe to meet with the Grand Enchanter, Cullen had to - _grudgingly_ \- admit that Ayr was, as she had promised, already making herself useful.

 

The meeting with Vivienne that first night had clearly gone without a hitch, as they had returned with the First Enchanter in tow, setting her up in one of the nicest rooms they could at Haven.

 

Likewise, they had left early the next day for the Storm Coast to meet with the Iron Bull, returning successfully late that night with the Qunari and his Chargers following after.

 

Ayr had, as with Vivienne, insisted on going with her cousin, despite the fact that Cassandra, Varric and Solas would already be accompanying her.

 

Though Cullen wanted to argue that - if only on the point that he _really_ didn't like how easily she made demands - Amaris' obvious pleasure at having her cousin along stilled his tongue, Leliana's once-more knowing grin making everything worse.

 

It was only that morning, however, when he was approached by a somewhat mystified Adan, that Cullen discovered just how _useful_ the elf was.

 

"Where did you _find_ her, Commander?" the alchemist all but demanded, practically shaking with excitement.

 

"Find who, Adan?"

 

" _Ayr_ , the elf travelling with the Herald! Who else?"

 

"She is the Herald's cousin, and she found us herself." Cullen's brows furrowed, hand automatically going to his sword, "Why, what has she done?"

 

"Done? Only supplied us with more herbs then I've seen since this Inquisition began!"

 

Cullen's face went blank, "Beg pardon?"

 

"Where was it they went yesterday, The Storm Coast? Well, I donno how she did it, but she came _waltzin'_ in last night with two big _sacks_ of herbs! Spindleweed, blood lotus, _black_ lotus, deep mushrooms _and_ prophet's laurels! D'you know how _hard_ it is to find prophet's laurels around here? And she had almost a whole _sack_ of'em! _And_ elfroot, bless the woman, Maker _knows_ how fast we go through that stuff-"

 

 _Well, Cullen,_ the Commander chastised himself mentally, holding back a wince, _Looks like you've been proven wrong about someone. Again. Good job._

 

"So she's being... useful, then?"

"More than useful! I asked her t'keep an eye out for any and all herbs whenever she goes anywhere with the Herald now and she said, hell, she said she was gonna do it _anyways_!"Adan looked incredibly proud, "That's a _great_ ally to have for the Inquisition, Commander; haven't seen someone so adept at finding herbs in years."

 

"Good. Glad to hear it." what else could he say, really? That he didn't want her there because she had an issue with _authority_? He hadn't been able to throw _Sera_ out for that, even _with_ her attempted pranks; he certainly couldn't use it against Ayr, when really all she'd done was _sass_ him. "Carry on, Adan. I've a meeting to get to."

 

"Of course, Commander."

 

Cullen sighed and pushed open the Chantry doors, heading straight for the War Room. He returned greetings with simple nods, not trusting himself to keep his temper in check right then.

 

It was a blessing when he made it to the door mostly unmolested, pushing it open easily to step inside.

 

"...It _could_ be a trap, but I don't know why they would bother inviting us to _talk_ if it were." the voice practically froze the Commander as he stepped into the room, gold eyes snapping up.

 

Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra were in their usual positions, with Amaris and Ayr side-by-side on the edge nearest the door.

 

They had started _without him_.

 

"Ah, Commander, good morning," Josephine nodded to him, making a _tick_ on her list, "We just began. Lady Amaris and Lady Ayr are setting out for Redcliffe shortly, and we wanted to go over the plans one last time."

 

"I apologize, Commander," Amaris drew his attention with her soft words, The Herald looking both slightly ashamed and slightly _amused_ , "I feel it best that we depart as swiftly as possible, and so we thought to air our worries as quickly as we could."

 

"No need to apologize." Cullen assured her, temper quelled by the elvhen woman's quiet admission.

 

He forced himself to ignore Ayr as best he could, knowing she was watching him from the corner of her eye. Their dislike and distrust was mutual, it seemed.

 

"I believe everything is in order for our departure," Cassandra spoke up, tapping her finger against the marker that indicated _Redcliffe_ , "We have not yet been there in our journeys of the Hinterlands, but it is not far from our Dusklight Camp. Well... not _very_ far, in any case."

 

"Let's be off, then," Amaris nodded to her advisors, pausing briefly to look at her cousin, "Ayr, did you get those extra sacks from Adan yet?"

Ayr quirked a grin, "No, I'll grab them before we head out."

 

"Sacks?" Cullen couldn't help voicing, though he knew what they were for thanks to his conversation with the alchemist.

 

"For herbs and minerals; I'll gather what I can while we're out and about." Ayr shot him a look before nodding to Amaris, "I'll go grab them and meet you by the stables."

 

"Alright." Amaris watched her cousin leave before turning back to the others, "Is there anything else I should know, before we depart?"

 

"Nothing of immediate concern, My Lady. Please, have a safe journey."

 

"I will, thank you, Josephine. Ah..." the Herald paused before her blue eyes landed on Cullen, making him stiffen briefly, "Cullen, may I have a word with you? Privately?"

 

"Of course, Herald." The Commander nodded, falling silent as the others filed from the room, the door closing loudly behind them.

 

It was only once they were alone that Amaris sighed and _smiled_ , of all things, "I'm sorry, Commander."

 

Well, this was odd, "For what, Lady Amaris?"

 

"For Ayr." she laughed, "She... _told_ me about the encounter you had, before I made it to the gates. I am _sorry_ for how... well, how _Ayr_ she is. I have not yet had the chance to scold her, but I plan to."

 

"Not necessary, I assure you," Cullen chuckled as well, relaxing, "She is rather... _trying_ at times, I will admit. So long as she keeps her temper and does _not_ join Sera in her pranks, however, I will do no more to aggravate her."

 

"Please understand, Cullen, she isn't used to me being away." Amaris bit her lip, clearly debating, "I'm twenty two, and Ayr is twenty; we've been together since she was born. And with our parents being... well. We've always been more like sisters then cousins. Had I thought to _write_ to the clan, to Ayr, things may have turned out differently."

 

"But you're happy she's here." Cullen responded easily, realizing, not for the first time, just how _young_ the Herald - and her cousin, apparently, - was, "So that is not a part we should change."

 

"You're right." Amaris smiled again, a look that was definitely more common now that Ayr was in Haven, "She is not _all_ bad, Cullen, I promise. She's a quick thinker and a skilled mage, and you'll never find anyone better at finding herbs and minerals. She's just a bit, ah... loud mouthed, I suppose."

 

 _That_ had Cullen throwing his head back and _roaring_ out a laugh, unable to help it; Amaris joined in after a moment, the two shaking their heads at each other.

 

"That she is." he agreed with a smirk.

 

"I shall _ask_ her to behave," Amaris promised, "Though I don't know how well she'll listen."

 

"She _adores_ you." Cullen replied easily, knowing, from how the redhead acted, that it was true, "I think she'll listen."

 

"I hope so. I can't have my cousin and my Commander at each other's throats all the time."

 

"I'll behave if she behaves." Cullen promised, shaking his head.

 

"Good. We'll see you in a couple of days then."

 

"Safe travels, Herald," _And maybe a couple of days will help me curb my animosity._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

"So _these_ are the Hinterlands..." Ayr walked slowly in a circle, breathing in the fresh air and taking in the lush greenery surrounding them, "Beautiful. I bet there's a _ton_ of recourses in this area."

 

"Probably, though I didn't get the chance to look last time I was here," Amaris finished checking their requisitions and potions before turning to the redhead, "To busy sealing Rifts and fighting rogue mages and Templars to stop and pick herbs."

 

"Let us hope the roads have remained clear since our last time here." Cassandra mentioned, strapping her shield to her back.

 

"The rebellions have been culled, at least for the moment," Solas - who had been examining a marking on a nearby rock face - stepped up beside Amaris, sharing a brief look with the blonde, "Hopefully, all that stands between us and Redcliffe is the distance."

 

"You'll have to explain these Rift things to me again, Amaris," Ayr narrowed her eyes at the looks passing between her cousin and the elvhen male, though she bit her tongue on the matter - for now - and motioned to Amaris' hand, "How does that close them, exactly?"

 

"Knowing my luck, there's probably still a rift open in this area, somewhere." Amaris winced, clenching and unclenching the fingers of her left hand - her palm glowing sickly, brilliant green, - "I'll show you, sometime."

 

 _I wish you didn't have to._ Ayr kept the thought in her head, knowing that wishing for a different outcome was useless. Amaris _had_ been sent to the Conclave, _had_ \- thankfully - survived whatever had happened, _had_ been branded with a mark that could seal Rifts and might be the only chance to heal the sky.

 

The past was the past, simple as that.

 

_No way to go but forwards, Ayr._

 

"I wouldn't go that way if I were you, firecracker."

 

Varric's voice snapped her from her thoughts, pausing her trudge forwards. "Why?" Ayr had simply intended to take what seemed to be the quickest path - they had arrived late the night before and hadn't had the chance to explore, but this _seemed_ to be the most logical route, "There's herbs down there, and it looks fairly even..."

 

"Ayr." Amaris caught her attention, "There's a _dragon_ that way."

 

Ayr's throat went dry in surprise, "You're kidding."

 

The blonde shook her head, "I'm not. We didn't go very far down the path, thankfully - just to the end of the enclosed space - but she's there, and she spotted us. We ran back as quickly as we could, and she didn't _follow_ , thank Mythal, but let's not _tempt_ her again, alright?"

 

"Yeah... let's _not_ fight a dragon today."

 

_Maybe someday._

 

"Shall we be off?" Cassandra started in the other direction without waiting for a reply, the others quick to follow. Amaris hung back so that she and Ayr were walking side by side, comforting the redhead briefly.

 

Until she began to talk.

 

"You need to stop harassing Commander Cullen, Ayr."

 

"What?" Ayr's eyes were wide, snapping to her cousin in surprise, "Say again?"

 

"You _heard_ me." Amaris was staring back at her now, blue eyes warm but warning, "I _know_ you had a rocky start, but that was just as much _your_ doing as his, Ayr."

 

Ayr could feel the tips of her ears burning in shame, but she hid it with snark, "He's a _templar_ , Amaris, even if I hadn't been-"

 

" _Ex-Templar_ , Ayr."

 

"What?" man, she was just _not_ in her element today.

 

"Commander Cullen left the Templar a couple of years ago or so, if I recall correctly. He is now solely the Commander of the Inquisition. He is also the reason _I'm alive_ , or one of them," Amaris looked away as they walked, grimacing, "It was his troops that rescued me when I fell out of the Fade, and he's been there for me since after I awoke the second time. He's a good man, and a good Commander. I would rather you two be civil, if nothing else."

 

Well, didn't she just feel like an idiot, then, "I'll apologize as soon as I get the chance, Amaris."

 

"Good." her cousin's smile turned teasing then, a glint entering her usually serene eyes, "He promised to behave as long as you do."

 

Ayr paused, surprised, then couldn't help but _laugh_ , "Geez, maybe we'll get along better than I thought, if he's got _some_ sense of humor hiding somewhere."

 

"Heads up, you two! Incoming hostiles!"

 

"We'll talk later." Amaris mumbled, pulling her staff from her back and darting in the direction of Cassandra's voice.

 

Ayr grinned and did the same, "Just like old times."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"Goood! You're _finally_ here! Now, help me close this, would you?"

 

Introductions would have to come later; even as the stranger spoke, more demons were spawning from the open Rift behind him, time seeming twisted around it just as the Rift _outside_ Redcliffe's gates had.

 

The Chantry was a flurry of motion; spells flying and shrieks ringing out. When at last they had slain enough demons to weaken the Rift, Amaris flung her hand out and drew on the energy in a practised motion, _ripping_ it back and shutting it down.

 

"Fascinating!" the stranger examined the space and then turned to face them again, focus on Amaris, "How does that work, exactly?"

 

Then he laughed, "You don't even know, do you? You just _wiggle_ your fingers and _boom_! Rift closes."

 

"Who _are_ you?" Amaris eyed him wearily, making sure the others were nearby.

 

"Getting ahead of myself again I see," the stranger chuckled, "Dorian of House Pavus, most recently, of Minrathous. How do you do?"

 

"Another Tevinter." Cassandra all but growled, "Be _cautious_ with this one."

 

"Suspicious friends you have here," Dorian commented, "Magister Alexius was once my _mentor_ , so my assistance should be valuable. As I'm _sure_ you can imagine."

 

"We were expecting _Felix_ to be here," Ayr spoke from Amaris' side, not _quite_ as weary of the man as the others.

 

"I'm sure he's on his way. He was to give you the note, then meet us here after ditching his father."

 

"Alexius couldn't jump to his side fast enough when he pretended to be feint. Is something wrong with him?"

 

"He's had some lingering illness for months. Felix is an only child, and Alexius is being a mother hen most likely."

 

"It sounds as though it must be serious, then."

 

"Let us hope it is not."

 

"So... are you a Magister?"

 

Dorian sighed, "Okay, let's say this once. I'm a mage from Tevinter, but I'm not a member of the Magisterium. I know Southerner's use the terms interchangeably, but..."

 

"And you're betraying your mentor because...?"

 

"Alexius _was_ my mentor, meaning he's not any longer. Not for some time. _Look_ , you must _know_ there's danger. That should be obvious, even _without_ the note. Let's start with Alexius claiming the allegiance of the mage rebels right out from under you. As if by magic, yes? Which is _exactly_ right. To reach Redcliffe, before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself."

 

"I hope that's less dangerous than it sounds..." Amaris ventured.

 

"More." Dorian responded, "The Rift you closed here. You _saw_ how it twisted time around itself. Sped some things up and slowed others down? Soon, there will be more like it, and they'll appear further and further away from Redcliffe. The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it's unraveling the world."

 

Amaris and Ayr shared a look, the words hitting deep.

 

"You're asking us to take a lot on faith." Amaris murmured eventually, turning her gaze back to Dorian.

 

The Tevinter scowled, "I _know_ what I'm talking about. I _helped_ develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory; Alexius could never get it to _work_. What I don't understand is why he's doing it. Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?"

 

A shadow of movement caught Ayr's eye, the redhead reaching for her staff before Felix emerged into the light, calming her, "He didn't do it for them."

 

Dorian's lips twitched, "Took you long enough. Is he getting suspicious?"

 

Felix grimaced, "No, but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he'd be fussing over me all day." he turned then, eyes on Amaris, "My father's joined a cult, Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves _Venatori_. And I can tell you one thing; whatever he's done for them, he's done it to get to _you_."

 

Amaris' eyes hardened, fists clenched at her sides, "Why would he rearrange time and indenture the mage rebellion just to get to me?"

 

"They're _obsessed_ with you, but I don't know why. Perhaps because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes?"

 

" _And_ you can close the Rifts," Dorian mused, "Maybe there's a connection? Or they see you as a threat?"

 

"If the Venatori are behind those Rifts, or the Breach in the Sky, they're even worse than I thought."

 

 "Alexius is your father," Ayr wondered aloud, eyes on Felix, "Why are you working against him?"

 

"For the same reason _Dorian_ works against him," Felix declared, "I love my father, and I love my country, but this? Cults? Time magic? What he's doing now is madness. For his own sake, you _have_ to stop him."

 

"It would also be nice if he didn't rip a hole in _time_ ," Dorian cut in, gesturing, "There's already a hole in the sky! We don't need _another_ one."

 

Amaris settled into what Ayr often called her 'Keeper stance' - arms crossed, lips pursed and face blank, "Do you have any suggestions?"

 

"You _know_ you're his target," Dorian reasoned, "Expecting the trap is the _first_ step in turning it to your advantage. I can't stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I'm _here_ , and I want to keep it that way for now. But whenever you're ready to deal with him, I want to _be_ there."

 

Dorian turned to stride off then, glancing back over his shoulder, "I'll be in touch."

 

"You know where to find us." Ayr quipped, earning a somewhat cheeky grin from the Tevinter man.

 

"Oh, and Felix?" Dorian called, "Try not to get yourself killed?"

 

"There are worse things than dying, Dorian," Felix responded cryptically, nodding to Amaris as he headed in the opposite direction of Dorian, "Look out for yourself."

 

"You, too."

 

Silence reigned as the two men made their exits, no one quite sure what to say.

 

When she couldn't take it anymore, Ayr broke it with a huff, "Well... that was weird."

 

" _Everything_ is weird these days." Amaris mumbled, running a hand over her face and cursing softly in elvhen. "Come on, let's get back to Haven as soon as we can. The others need to know about this, and I _don't_ want to hang around if Alexius is still nearby."

 

"Agreed. Let's go."

 

The group turned, heading back towards the Chantry entrance and out into the village. Ayr cast one more look to where Dorian had disappeared, frowning before following the others, a sick worry beginning to form in her gut.

 

This... would not end well.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"We don't have the _man power_ to take the castle," Cullen argued, scowling, "Either we find another way in, or we give up this _nonsense_ and go get the Templars."

 

"You do realize you're talking to two _mages_ , right?" Ayr couldn't help growling, earning a reproachful look from Amaris and a heavy glare from the Commander that made her wince mentally, "We can't just _abandon_ them."

 

_Good job Ayr; you said you'd apologize and now you're making things worse instead._

 

Not that she had had _time_ to apologize. They'd made haste back to Haven and gone immediately to the War Room, where the advisors had already been waiting for them.

 

Alexius, it turned out, had already sent a letter, inviting The Herald to Redcliffe castle to _talk_.

 

How it had arrived before them was worrying.

 

"Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister," Cassandra spoke up, reminding everyone of the fact, "This _cannot_ be allowed to stand."

 

"The letter from Alexius asked for The Herald of Andraste by _name_ ," Josephine elaborated, "It's an _obvious_ trap!"

 

"We can't waste time fighting among ourselves," Amaris tried to reason, ever the level-headed one despite the situation, "We need to come to an agreement, quickly."

 

"A Tevinter Magister invades Redcliffe, invites us to the castle to 'talk', and some of us want to do _nothing_?" Leliana all but snorted, Ayr silently agreeing with her.

 

"Not this again..."

 

Cullen turned to the Spymaster, face a mask of seriousness, "Redcliffe castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled _thousands_ of assaults." he shifted then, briefly meeting Ayr's stare before focussing on Amaris, "If you go in there, you'll _die_ , and we'll lose the only means we have of closing these rifts. I won't allow it."

 

"And if we don't even _try_ to meet Alexius," Leliana interrupted, stepping away from her place near the wall, "We lose the _mages_ , _and_ leave a hostile foreign power on our doorstep."

 

"Even if we _could_ assault the Keep, it would be for naught." Josephine huffed, "An _Orlesian_ Inquisition's army marching into Ferelden would provoke a _war_. Our hands are tied!"

 

"The Magister-"

 

"Has outplayed us." Cullen cut the thought off, grim in the face of reality.

 

"We can't just _give up_." Ayr argued, frustrated, "There has to be _something_ we can do."

 

"We cannot accept defeat now, there _must_ be a solution."

 

Amaris had placed her hand over her temples, massaging what Ayr knew must be a bad headache, "Is there not some _other_ way into the Castle, hidden corridors or something?"

 

"Wait." Leliana perked, a memory clearly sparked, "There _is_ a hidden passage into the castle, an escape route for family. It's too narrow for our troops, but... we could send _agents_ through."

 

"To risky." Cullen frowned, shaking his head, "Those agents will be discovered long before they reach the Magister."

 

"That's why we need a _distraction_. Perhaps the _envoy_ Alexius wants so badly."

 

"While they're focused on Lavellan... we break the Magister's defenses," Cullen seemed to mull over the idea, the scar over his lip drawn taught when he scowled, "It... _could_ work, but it's a huge risk."

 

The door swinging suddenly open made everyone look up, a familiar voice calmly stating "Fortunately, you'll have help."

 

Dorian strode into the room as though he owned the place, Amaris eyeing him curiously and Ayr downright grinning.

 

One of the Inquisition's Agents came running in after him, shrinking under the stares of everyone in the room, "This man says he has information about the Magister, Commander. He, ah... _insisted_ he be let in."

 

Cullen's gaze hardened further as he took in the newcomer, and Ayr couldn't help piping up, "He helped us in Redcliffe, Commander. We wouldn't know about _any_ of this if it weren't for Dorian."

 

Golden eyes were focused on her suddenly, searching, and Ayr had the strangest urge to duck her gaze and _blush_. Instead she kept her eyes locked with his, trying to show her sincerity through her stance.

 

Finally, the Commander turned his gaze on Dorian, nodding almost imperceptivity, "Go on."

 

"Your spies will never get past Alexius's magic without my help," Dorian declared, shooting Ayr a quick appreciative look before focussing on the Commander, "So if you're going after him, I'm coming along."

 

Cullen paused to take in the words before turning his gaze back to Amaris, "Herald, the plan puts you in the most danger. We can't in good conscience order you to do this. We can still go after the Templars if you're not willing to play the bait. It's up to you."

 

Amaris pursed her lips, staring down at the marker on the map indicating Redcliffe Castle. Ayr could see the wheels turning in her cousins head, even as she fought to make the right decision.

 

Finally, she looked up and caught her eye, pale blue and sea green meeting and agreeing. They nodded almost in sync, Amaris standing tall and folding her hands behind her back in an authoritative stance.

 

"We can't leave the Tevinters to do as they like with Redcliffe, and we need the mages to seal the Breach. I will go to Redcliffe." Amaris paused, looking to Dorian, "Dorian, I appreciate you coming with us. Cassandra, find Solas and tell him to prepare; you two are coming as well."

 

"As you command, Herald," Cassandra thumped her fist to her chest and took her leave, going to do as requested.

 

Amaris nodded, then turned to her cousin, "Ayr, you-"

 

"I'll stay behind." Ayr finished the question before it could be asked, voice soft. Clearly, the others hadn't been expecting that, as they were all _staring_ , "Alexius only wants _Amaris_ ; he'll be pissed off enough that she's bringing _anyone_ with her. The more of us there are, the more suspicious it'll look. So, _this once_ , I'll stay behind."

 

"A wise thought, Lady Ayr," Josephine agreed once she had snapped from her surprise, "We will make preparations at once."

 

"Good." Amaris nodded to her advisors, then to Dorian, "We leave first thing in the morning. Meet us by the stables at first light, Dorian."

 

"With pleasure, Herald." Dorian gave a mock bow as Amaris left the room, leaving after nodding to the advisors.

 

Ayr followed shortly after, acknowledging them with her own nod - eyes meeting Cullen's briefly, a sort of strange-confusion present in his gaze - before hurrying after the Tevinter Mage, calling after him.

 

"Dorian! May I speak to you for a moment?"

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Cullen rolled his shoulders with a groan as he left the War Room, locking it behind him. He had remained until everyone else was gone, taking one last, long look at the marker representing Redcliffe Castle.

 

It was risky, that was for sure; Amaris would be right in the middle, completely exposed, and he could only hope the Tevinter Mage - Dorian? - was as powerful as he claimed.

 

Then there was Ayr's decision to stay behind, completely on her own and without any arguing whatsoever. _The woman is a bloody mystery; I doubt I'll ever understand her decisions._

 

"Dorian! May I speak to you for a moment?"

 

Cullen froze just as he moved to head for his rooms, gaze seeking the redheaded mage whose voice had rung so clearly in the air.

 

He found her catching up to the Tevinter towards the middle of the hall, and ducked behind one of the nearby pillars before they could see him. Cullen wasn't one for eavesdropping, but he couldn't help but be curious; Ayr had defended Dorian during the meeting. Was there a reason?

 

"Ah, Lady Ayr, was it?" he heard Dorian purr, voice rolling smoothly over the syllable, "The Herald of Andraste's cousin, if the rumors are correct?"

 

"I hadn't realized there were rumors about me, but yes, I am."

 

"Well, my dear, judging by your defense of me in the War Room and the little I've seen of you besides, I'd say you are so far the person I prefer most in this place."

 

"Flatterer." Ayr was laughing, and a strange little knot formed in Cullen's stomach, making him frown. What in Ferelden was wrong with him? Why should he care who she flirted with? "But they're really not that bad."

 

"No? What of the Commander, who looked like he wanted to rip me apart the second I stepped foot in the room?"

 

"Commander Cullen is... a bit of a hard ass, yes," Cullen nearly growled at the words before Ayr continued, "but he's a good Commander. He cares for his troops, and he's protected my cousin numerous times. And... well, I've pissed him off a few times, my own fault really, so he was likely more prickly because of me, not you."

 

 _That_ caught Cullen by surprise, mouth opening silently. _She thinks I'm a good Commander?_

 

"Very well, my dear, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. But _only_ because you asked so nicely. Now, you wanted to speak with me about something more than our good Commander, I imagine?"

 

"I wanted to ask you to look after Amaris, tomorrow." Ayr's voice had turned serious again, grabbing Cullen's attention, "I can't go; it'd look to suspicious. But... please. Make sure she comes back safely, Dorian."

 

"You're afraid of losing her." Dorian's voice was soft, understanding.

 

" _Terrified_." Ayr breathed, and Cullen was reminded again how _young_ she was, twenty years old and in the middle of a war, her cousin a mere twenty two and practically _leading_ one side of it, "Amaris... she's all I've got."

 

"I will do my very best to bring your cousin back safe and sound, Ayr." Dorian vowed, "You have my word, whatever it counts for. And when we return, we must all celebrate and play a round of Wicked Grace or two."

 

"You've got a deal." Ayr sounded better, though worry still tinged her voice.

 

Cullen waited until they'd bid each other goodnight and the Chantry doors creaked closed before he continued to his own room, mulling over what he had just heard.

 

 _"Amaris... she's all I've got."_ Ayr had said, which made him frown, even as he stepped into the sanctuary of his personal space and locked the door behind him.

 

 _Mages are nothing but trouble,_ he grumbled mentally, preparing for the night. And yet his thoughts kept returning to her sincerity in the War Room, her eagerness to help.

 

His nightmares, strangely, were a little calmer that night.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Cullen woke - as he always did - shortly before the sun rose, dressing and exiting his room with a million thoughts already running through his mind.

 

The strongest - and most important - was that the Herald was riding for Redcliffe Castle this morning, and as Commander, he needed to see her off.

 

Cullen nodded to the people mulling about the Chantry as he strode towards the doors, squinting slightly in the light of the rising sun as he stepped out into the chilly morning air.

 

Most of the residents of Haven were just beginning to awake, fires being lit and food being made.

 

Taking one last glance to make sure everything was in order, Cullen continued down the steps and towards the front Gates, sighing the occasional paper as he went and giving orders to passing recruits.

 

To his surprise, the Gates were already open, and the Herald's party was practically ready to go.

 

Dorian, Solas and Cassandra were already mounted, hovering near the stables and the path onwards. Amaris stood beside her mount - a rare Ferelden Elk that had taken a shining to her in the Hinterlands - speaking softly to her cousin, hints of elvhen trailing to him.

 

Ayr was speaking just as quietly, her lips pursed in worry, and Cullen remembered the conversation he'd overheard the night before. _Amaris is... all I have._

 

Shaking his head to clear it, Cullen watched the two women hug briefly before Amaris swung herself up onto the Elk with a practised motion, her gaze finding him after a moment and a calming smile settling on her face.

 

"Take care, Herald!" he shouted, more than content to stay where he was near the troops.

 

"We will return shortly, Commander!" Amaris called back, sparing another word or two for Ayr before she kicked her Elk into motion and joined the others, the group disappearing into the distance up the path.

 

Cullen only watched for a moment - noting the way Ayr continued to stare into the distance - before shifting gears and striding among the men already training, the song of clashing swords filling the air as the sun rose higher in the sky.

 

Content to instruct - as none of the trainees were yet ready to go against _him_ with a sword - the Commander retreated to a clearer spot, barking out orders and corrections.

 

One man's ineptitude with a shield had him scowling fiercely, " _You_ there! There's a _shield_ in your hand, _block_ with it!" Cullen held back a growl, turning to the Lieutenant that had appeared beside him, "If this man were your enemy you'd be _dead_. Lieutenant, don't hold back. The recruits must be ready for a _real_ fight, not a _practise_ one."

 

Lips twitching, the man crossed his arm over his chest with a nod, "Yes, Commander."

 

Cullen watched him walk into the throng of recruits before a sudden presence at his side had him whipping around, startled by the redhead now standing to his left.

 

 _I didn't even notice her move._ he cursed himself, unflinching mask back in place as his gaze turned back to the men, not even sure what to say to her.

 

_Thanks for collecting herbs? Sorry you can't accompany your cousin into even more danger? Hope we can work together **without** biting each other's heads off?_

 

Yes, those were all _wonderful_ conversation starters.

 

_Who says you have to speak to her? Just ignore her._

 

"We've received a number of recruits," Cullen found himself saying instead, crossing his arms and tilting his head back to get a wider view of the training men, "Locals from Haven and some Pilgrims." then, looking at her from the corner of his eye, he couldn't help snarking "None made _quite_ the entrance _you_ did, however."

 

Ayr huffed, sticking her chin in the air, "At least I got everyone's attention." then she deflated some, looking hesitant, "Look, I-"

 

"That you did." he agreed brusquely, gaze returning to the recruits, "Quite the _outlandish_ entrance, really-"

 

"I'm sorry." Ayr blurted, looking spectacularly uncomfortable and rather pink in the ears.

 

Cullen could only stare, sure he'd heard her wrong. "Pardon?"

 

Ayr puffed out her cheeks, clearly annoyed at having to repeat herself. "I said, I'm _sorry_. I didn't mean to cause such a ruckus when I first arrived. Much as it may seem like it, I don't _actually_ like drawing attention to myself. Or making enemies of people I've only just met."

 

The mage hesitated, Cullen wondering if he should say something before she was looking at him again, sea-green eyes bright and intent, "I apologize for my actions towards you, Commander, and for any offense I have given you. You have taken care of my cousin, and... I would rather not have hostilities between us."

 

"I'll behave if you'll behave." Cullen echoed the words he'd spoken to Amaris with an amused smirk, Ayr's eyes widening and narrowing as a grin formed on her own lips.

 

"You have a deal, Commander." she promised, lingering a little on the title. Then she seemed to hesitate for a moment again before asking, "Amaris said you're an _Ex-Templar_ , so I was only half wrong. When did you leave the order?"

 

"Ages ago, now," Cullen nodded towards the troops, shifting to walk through them and strangely pleased when Ayr moved to keep pace, "I was recruited to the Inquisition in Kirkwall, myself. I was there during the mage uprising. I saw firsthand the devastation it caused-"

 

"Ser!" an agent approached as they moved, Cullen turning to take the offered paperwork with a practised motion.

 

"Cassandra sought a solution. When she offered me a position, I left the Templars to join her cause. Now... it seems we face something far worse."

 

"Well..." Ayr drawled, "The Conclave's destroyed, there's a giant hole in the sky, and there's a Tevinter Magister holed up in Redcliffe with an army of mages... things aren't looking good. I came through the ruins of the Temple when I tracked Amaris," the redhead paused, rubbing at her arms as though suddenly cold, "It was... terrible. I can't even imagine what could have caused it."

 

"Which is why we're needed." Cullen reaffirmed, shoving down the spark of admiration he felt at her bravery in coming through the ruins, "The Chantry lost control of both Templars and Mages. _Now_ , they argue over a new _Divine_ , while the Breach remains." he turned, handing the signed form back to the agent and gesturing him away, "The Inquisition could act when the Chantry cannot. Our followers would be part of that. There's _so much_ we can-"

 

Ayr was grinning, he noticed suddenly, her eyebrows lifted as she listened to him, clearly amused.

 

His words died in his throat as he felt a flush creeping along his neck, realizing that, in his enthusiasm, he'd been going off on a tangent. "Forgive me, Ayr," he managed, reigning himself in, "I doubt you came here for a lecture, after we'd _just_ agreed to _behave_."

 

"No. _But_ , if you have one prepared, I'd _love_ to hear it," she quipped back, shrugging a shoulder, "Good practice for the troops, perhaps."

 

The comment drew a calm, relaxed chuckle from Cullen, "Another time, perhaps."

 

Ayr smiled then - actually, openly _smiled_ , - and tilted her head back just a little, red curls cascading over her shoulder and eyes glinting in the morning sunlight.

 

Cullen felt his throat go suddenly, terribly _dry_ , coughing to try and cover the strange reaction. "I, ah..." he cleared his throat, terrified to feel heat rising in his face, "There's... _still_ a lot of work ahead..."

 

"Commander! Ser Rylen has a report on our supply lines-"

 

The Commander let out a relieved breath, thanking the Maker for the agents timing even as he gave Ayr a quirked grin and turned towards the man, "As I was saying..."

 

"I'll leave you to your important work then." Ayr only rolled her eyes and grinned, though Cullen was sure to keep his gaze off of her - no matter how hard the desire to turn and look her in the eye again was - as she spoke, "I'll be gone the rest of the day anyways, as soon as the others are ready."

 

"You're leaving Haven?" the question came out more sharply than he'd intended, and Cullen hid a wince, cursing himself.

 

Ayr didn't seem to notice the slip, "I'm going herb collecting in the Hinterlands. I didn't get the chance to grab much on our last trip, and I may as well do _something_ while Amaris is away or else I'll go _mad_."

 

"Are you going alone?"

 

"No, _Commander_ , I'm not stupid. Varric, Bull and I _think_ Vivienne - if she ever finishes getting _ready_ \- are coming with me. I know better than to go adventuring alone these days."

 

"Says the woman who went tracking her cousin without so much as a word to her Keeper..." Cullen couldn't help teasing, finding it all too easy and _far_ to fun.

 

Ayr's mouth gaped open for a moment, a finger lifted to point accusingly at him, "Y-you... you... you said we were _behaving_!"

 

"I am only returning the sass that I was subjected to, dear friend."

 

"Why you-!"

 

"Hey, firecracker, ready to go?"

 

Varric's shout cut off whatever Ayr had been about to say, making her curse in elvhen and Cullen's eyebrows lift at the name.

 

"Firecracker?" he repeated, lips twitching as he fought back a smile.

 

"Seems so. Probably because of my hair." Ayr sighed.

 

"Or your temper."

 

" _Watch it, goldilocks._ " Ayr sniped, though her grin was teasing and her eyes were bright with amusement, not venom. "I'll see you later, once I've picked the Hinterlands clean of herbs."

 

"Four sacks this time." Cullen challenged, bending slightly to stare her in the eye, "I _dare_ you."

 

"Prepare to lose, _Commander_." she chirped back, turning with a laugh and leaving him with the troops.

 

She took a moment to speak to her rather rag-tag looking band - a dwarf, a Qunari, and an Orlesian first Enchanter were not a usual group - before they headed off, Ayr pausing once to wave mockingly back at him.

 

Cullen barely managed to catch himself before he could wave back.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The rest of the day passed quickly and, amazingly, uneventfully.

 

Cullen was still outside the Gates with the troops when the adventuring group returned, so he got to see firsthand the _six_ bags of herbs they carried. Varric carried two, the Iron Bull had three, and Vivienne... well, it was Vivienne, so she had none, sauntering inside ahead of the others.

 

Ayr caught his eye as she approached the gates with her own sack, smirking and _winking_ at him, the little brat.

 

 _She flirts with everyone._ Cullen forced the thoughts, recalling how she'd been with Dorian and Varric, _It's nothing serious. Don't worry about it._

 

And yet... why did that thought bother him so much?

 

It was another couple of hours before Cullen dismissed the troops, the sun beginning its descent and daylight growing scarce.

 

The Commander made his way towards the Chantry with the intent to grab food on the way and eat while going over reports, as he usually did. Something made him pause by the main fire however, laughter and voices rising over the ever dancing flames.

 

Everyone who hadn't gone with The Herald was there, sitting together and eating dinner as they talked, spending time together while they could.

 

Where normally Cullen was content to eat alone, for once, he stepped closer to the circle, deciding to join the others around the fire.

 

Perhaps, he thought, it was because of the dangerous task Amaris was currently undertaking, and the fact that there had been no news back yet. They hadn't expected any yet, of course; the group would likely have only _just_ reached Redcliffe Castle as it was, they wouldn't have had the chance to send any word back yet.

 

Leliana was the first to notice him, looking both surprised and incredibly amused by his presence, "Why, _Commander_ , it is so _rare_ you honor us with your presence at the fire! Do tell, what is the occasion?"

 

"Even I appreciate some company from time to time, Nightingale." Cullen grumped, though his tone was amicable, his thanks sincere when he accepted a plate of food from the cook, "Though I won't lie, the smell coming from the fire was rather more _tempting_ than usual."

 

"You'll have to thank our resident herb gatherer for that, Commander," Josephine murmured, clearly pleased by the quality of the soup.

 

"I saw the six bags she gathered today," Cullen agreed, glancing to the men who had accompanied the elf earlier in the day, "Was it hard, finding all those herbs?"

 

"Not at all. It's like she's got some sort of herb _radar_ on her, that elf," Varric chuckled good naturedly, "She's smart about it, though."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Knows to clear an area of _enemies_ before _herbs_ ," Bull answered from across the fire, digging into the meat he'd procured, "Always made sure we weren't gonna be _attacked_ before she went t'work."

 

"Smart girl." Cullen mumbled, impressed.

 

"Smart _woman_." Bull corrected with a crooked grin, "Need more like'er."

 

Something in the Qunari's tone made Cullen's hackles rise, eyes narrowing at the implications the words seemed to carry.

 

Even as he questioned his reactions, he realized what - or rather _who_ \- was missing from the gathering, "Where _is_ Ayr?"

 

"Haven't seen her since we got back," Varric shrugged, "She usually joins us for dinner, but with Amaris off in the midst of danger... she's likely feeling a bit rough."

 

"She should not be skipping meals, though," Josephine worried, sounding like the mother-hen Cullen knew her to be at times, "It is not healthy for her."

 

"I'll go see if she's alright," Cullen gave a rough sigh, rolling his eyes at the looks the words earned him, "I _am_ the only one standing."

 

"By all means, Commander." Leliana's voice spoke volumes about what she was thinking, and Cullen forced himself to walk away without saying anything sarcastic back to her.

 

He headed for the cabin Amaris had been given, knowing her cousin was staying there as well.

 

A light flickered inside, dismissing the worry that she might be sleeping and giving him the courage to rap his knuckles against the door.

 

Cullen heard the startled scrape of chair legs on wood before quick footsteps approached and the door was swung open, Ayr staring at him in surprise.

 

"Cu-Commander?" she stumbled on the word, and he couldn't help but wonder _why_ , "Is everything alright?"

 

"Perfectly fine," he assured her, letting his lips twitch a bit, "The others sent me to retrieve you; Josephine is incredibly worried about you missing dinner."

 

The redhead blinked, glancing at the sky and cursing softly, "I didn't notice what time it was, Commander, I apologize. I've been... distracted. Give me a moment..."

 

Ayr left the door open and moved back into the cabin, leaving Cullen to step inside the entryway and glance around. It was much the same as the other huts in Haven, though more private then the rest; Amaris and Ayr alone shared this one, after all.

 

Ayr hadn't gone into the bedroom; instead she'd gone to the small desk pressed against the side wall, tidying up what looked like parchment and writing quills.

 

Realization dawned on him, "You were writing to your clan."

 

" _Trying_ to, yes," Ayr grumbled, finishing with the supplies and turning back to face him, running a hand through her hair in an annoyed motion, "I can't seem to get past _we're alive, we're not coming back, don't worry about us_ , though. And yes, in those _exact words._ _Amaris_ is the one who's good at all this... letter writing, academic crap."

 

"You and I are alike in that, I'm afraid," Cullen chuckled, surprised, "I attempt to write letters to my sister - not as often as I should, I'll admit - and they usually consist of _I'm alive_ and what my current location happens to be, _if_ that." he paused, stepping halfway out the door and motioning back towards the blazing fire in the distance, "You should ask Josephine for help; delegations _are_ her speciality, after all."

 

"You have siblings?" Ayr questioned as she followed him outside, the light going out once she'd crossed the threshold - she'd been using some sort of enchantment, it seemed - looking curious and a little amused as they headed for the fire.

 

"Three. I haven't seen them in years, and as I said, I often forget to write to them." Cullen _almost_ smiled at the thought of them, but quelled it when he realized they were near enough for those at the fire to see them, instead saying "You really _should_ ask Josephine for help with that letter."

 

The ambassador looked up at the sound of her name, looking intrigued, "Letter, you say?"

 

Ayr was _blushing_ , Cullen realized suddenly, as she quietly accepted a plate of food from the cook and took the offered seat beside Varric, "I'm, uh... trying to write a letter to my clan. To let them know Amaris and I are _alive_ , y'know, so they don't _panic_. Well... panic _more_."

 

"I can _definitely_ assist you with that, Lady Ayr. How about tomorrow morning? Before Lady Amaris returns?"

 

"I would greatly appreciate it, Lady Josephine," even from his place standing behind her, Cullen could see the smile on the elf's lips, "Thank you."

 

"I have a question for you, my lady." Leliana leaned forwards so her elbows were on her knees then, eyes intent on the elf, "You and the Herald are both powerful mages, and you are from a Dalish Clan. I find myself wondering; were either of you the _First_ of your Clan?"

 

"Amaris _is_ the First. I..." Ayr seemed to sink into herself a bit then, swallowing her mouthful of meat roughly, "I'm the _backup_ First, I guess you could say."

 

"Backup First?" Varric echoed, voicing Cullen's thoughts, "I didn't know that was a thing."

 

"It isn't, not usually. But my Clan didn't want to lose any of its prospective power - any mages - so when I was found to be a close second to Amaris in power, it was decided I would stay with the Clan as a backup. In case... anything happened to her."

 

"Is life for the Dalish _that_ dangerous?" Cullen couldn't help asking, since he knew little of Dalish life. The Warden - the first Dalish Elf he'd known - hadn't gone into much detail, since she'd been taken to the Circle at such a young age.

 

"It can be." Ayr answered honestly, tilting her head back to look up at him, the fire casting shadows on her face and almost making her markings glow. He would have to ask her what they meant, sometime. "My Clan didn't want to take any chances."

 

"Smart. But won't they miss you, now you're both gone?"

 

"They should be alright. We were in a safe zone when I left, and if they _really_ wanted to, I'm sure they could track us here the same way I tracked Amaris. For now, we're alright."

 

"For now..." Bull cut in, lifting a heavy tankard above the fire, "We _drink_!"

 

There was laughter and agreements around the fire, and everyone - except Ayr, who merely wrinkled her nose, and Cullen, who politely declined - lifted a mug and downed a swallow of ale.

 

Though he still worried about The Herald and her current mission, Cullen felt strangely... calm. Relaxed.

 

And more curious about the redheaded elf sitting in front of him then he should.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_"You're alive." Cassandra all but whispered, standing from where she crouched on the floor of the cell - shaking as she moved, and stiffer then she should be "I failed you. I failed everyone!"_

_"You're alive." Solas's voice was hoarse with the red lyrium, but the amazement in his words was obvious, "How are you here?"_

_"Alexius sent us through time." Dorian was explaining as they moved, fighting through hoards of Alexius - and The Elder One's - troops, "If we go back, we can stop this madness from ever happening."_

_"Good." Leliana was arming herself even as the guard she'd killed grew cold on the ground, "Let us make it so this dreadful future never happens."_

_"Where are the others?" Amaris demanded, not wanting to know the answer but **needing** to, "What happened to them? Where is Ayr?"_

_"The others are dead." Leliana answered, "Ayr was the first sacrifice."_

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The next day came quickly, Cullen going through his usual morning routine of washing, dressing, and checking to make sure Sera hadn't snuck off with any of his things before exiting into the main hall of the Chantry.

 

It was early yet, even for him, and yet he noticed the door to Josephine's office was open as he passed, quiet voices audible from within.

 

Not usually the curious type, Cullen couldn't help wondering who was with the ambassador, altering his course in such a way that he could pass close enough to see who was inside.

 

He was startled by the sight of _Ayr_ sitting next to Josephine behind her desk, the two bent over a piece of parchment and the elf's hand clutching a writing quill, Josephine murmuring words to her as she wrote.

 

 _When she sets her mind to something, she certainly pushes through._ Cullen moved away from the door as quietly as he could, not wanting to alert the two women to his presence. His gaze lingered on the redheads face longer then he should have allowed - noting the look of concentration she wore, the way her tongue occasionally darted out over her lower lip - before he cursed softly and strode out into the morning chill.

 

Training began as soon as the men heard the Commanders call and emerged from their tents, falling into the standard practice and obeying Cullen's orders as they were given.

 

He was all too aware of Ayr coming out maybe an hour later, though she didn't approach him and instead chose to sit near the gates and watch.

 

She seemed jittery, Cullen noticed after a while; constantly shifting, messing with her hair or staff, glancing in the direction Amaris and the others had gone every now and then.

 

If he were honest with himself, Cullen was getting edgy, as well. They should have had _word_ of the others by now, if nothing else.

 

He had just dismissed the troops for a ration break and turned - probably against his better judgement - to approach Ayr, when a familiar _caw_ rang out above them, both he and the elf's heads snapping up.

 

A crow, darting from the cover of the forest and over the walls into Haven.

 

One of Leliana's crowds.

 

Ayr was on her feet and darting inside quicker then he'd ever seen her move, his own pace slightly calmer but no less urgent.

 

Cullen caught up with Ayr inside Leliana's tent near the Chantry, the redhead practically _shaking_ as she approached the frowning Spymaster.

 

"Well?"

 

Leliana finished scanning the letter before pursing her lips and looking up, face unreadable, "They succeeded; they are on their way back, with the mages. The Tevinter Magister has been defeated."

 

" _But_...?" Ayr prompted, scowling, "I know that tone, there's a _but_ in there somewhere."

 

"They underwent a... _trial_ while there, of sorts. They are fine, physically, but... The Herald is not quite herself."

 

Silence fell over the tent, neither Ayr or Cullen saying a word as the implications registered.

 

There was nothing to do but wait for Amaris to return and deal with the damage then; Cullen returned to the troops, trying to distract himself.

 

Ayr sat on the steps outside the Gate and stared unflinchingly in the direction she knew the group would come from, clearly intent on staying there until her cousin returned.

 

The sun was just beginning its descent when Cullen saw Ayr shoot to her feet, attention immediately following hers and - _yes_ , there in the distance-!

 

The Commander extracted himself from the troops and came to stand beside Ayr as she stepped down onto the path, both watching as the awaited group drew slowly closer.

 

It was obvious something was wrong - Amaris' Elk was trotting down the path _much_ faster than her companion's mounts, pulling easily ahead.

 

The creature was jerked to a stop several feet from them and Amaris dismounted much more quickly than usual, anxiety rolling off of her in waves.

 

Then she was running at them, face a mask of desperation as she all but launched herself at her cousin, startling the younger elf, " _Ayr!_ "

 

"Woah! Amaris!" Ayr did her best to keep them both upright but _oofed_ when her cousin's weight leaning on her sent them both to their knees in the snow, her arms around the blondes back, "Hey, what happened? What's wrong?"

 

" _You're alive_." Amaris was whispering, head bent so Cullen couldn't see her expression, shaking obvious in her shoulders, " _Thank Mythal, you're alive. You're all alive. I didn't fail-!"_

 

"Amaris!"

 

"Ayr." Solas stepped forward then, having dismounted his horse a bit away, expression grim as he spoke in elvhen.

 

Ayr's head shot up, eyes wide as she stared at him, responding in their mother tongue.

 

Cullen _desperately_ wished he understood more than one or two words of elvhen as he watched them speak, Solas remaining monotone and grim while Ayr grew more and more aggravated, Amaris still hiding her head and whispering into her cousins shirt.

 

"You said you would _protect her_!" Ayr switched to common then, voice near a growl, "You promised!"

 

"And we did, dear friend, else she would not be bent before you," Dorian tried to soothe, approaching cautiously with Cassandra in tow, "What we went through was just... rather unsettling, for all involved."

 

"It's not their fault." Amaris was speaking then, voice louder and slightly steadier then before, though she kept her head bowed, "We just... can we... go in...?"

 

"Whatever you want, cous." Ayr mumbled back, helping the other woman back to her feet and keeping an arm around her back, shooting Solas a look and a question in elvhen.

 

"We will see to the mages." Solas promised, worry etched deeply into his face, "Look after her."

 

Ayr nodded once, glancing in Cullen's direction before leading Amaris towards the gates, the two women disappearing through them.

 

Left standing with his troops, Cullen realized that, yet again, he had been unable to help. Yet again, he had been useless.

 

And he _hated_ it.


	3. Moving Forwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone realizes they are in far to deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys.... this chapter is crazy long. I mean CRAZY LONG. It just kept going. But I wanted to finish it at a certain point, and I did! But... holy crap man it's long.
> 
> I hope all the dialogue works okay, and that I'm still managing fine with my lovely not-inquisitor.
> 
> Ayr and Cullen are my life right now okay I love them far to much <3 I'm also thinking of remaking Amaris so I can get some more screens CAUSE I'M A DORK LIKE THAT.
> 
> Reminder that I post screenshots of the girls over here -> http://cousinslavellan.tumblr.com/ if anyone is interested!
> 
> Anywhoo, enjoy!

**Chapter Three: Moving Forwards**

 

In the week that followed the Herald's return from Redcliffe and successful recruitment of the mages, Cullen barely saw Amaris.

 

 _Or_ Ayr, for that matter, as the older elf was determined to keep her cousin within reach at all times.

 

The events at Redcliffe - which _Dorian_ had explained in full detail, since Amaris was clearly in no state to recount them - had shaken The Herald to the core, the determined young woman he had come to know in the past month now hiding behind a wall of fear.

 

They had time, Cullen knew, for her to recover; the mages were not yet ready to assault the Breach. Day by day, however, they grew closer to being prepared, and yet Amaris showed no signs of recovery.

 

The few times he _had_ seen her had been when Ayr had managed to coax her out of their cabin, either to use the amenities in the Chantry or to get food.

 

Ayr had _almost_ gotten her to the War Room a couple of times, but Amaris would set one foot inside the door, look up at the many pins and markers on the map, and _flee_ like a terrified halla, her cousin inevitably pulled behind her.

 

It had been four days when Ayr showed up at the main fire _alone_ , looking weary and frustrated.

 

"Where is...?" Cullen let the question trail off, watching as she took two plates and started to load them up.

 

"I managed to convince her to spend some time with Solas. Creators know she has a crush on him." Ayr paused to blow a strand of hair out of her face, eyes dull and focused on the plates, "She's not getting better; she's still _terrified_."

 

"Surely she knows that she hasn't failed us?" the Commander kept his voice soft, not wanting to be overheard, "She made it back; that terrible future she saw will never happen, now."

 

"I know, and I think _she_ knows, too. She's just... I keep telling her she's done well, that she _hasn't failed_." Ayr looked up at him then, pain and frustration and desperation clear in her expression, "I'm _trying_ , Commander."

 

Cullen wasn't sure why it irked him when Ayr called him by his title instead of his name, but he didn't get the chance to question it; Amaris appeared at her cousin's elbow a moment later, the redhead sighing and following her back to the cabin at her request.

 

 _Get better, Herald,_ he prayed silently, frowning down at the plate of food he no longer had an appetite for, _For Ayr's sake, as well as ours._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It was exactly nine days after the events at Redcliffe when a sudden commotion at the Gates pulled Cullen's attention from the troops he was mostly _pretending_ to be training at this point, as they were essentially ready and he simply needed the _distraction._

 

"Okay, that's it, I'm done! This is ridiculous! Let's _go_!"

 

"Ayr, no, wait, we shouldn't..."

 

"You want me at arm's reach, Amaris? Then get _out_ here!"

 

Ayr stormed out the Gates and down the steps into the snow, face a mask of barely contained fury and staff clutched firmly in one hand.

 

Amaris trailed after a moment later, darting terrified glances around her and cradling her own staff in both hands, as though afraid of being attacked right then and there.

 

"Ayr, please," the blonde pleaded even as she followed after her cousin, "Let's just go back inside."

 

The troops had stopped training, noticing The Herald - who most of them hadn't seen in a week - and wondering what was going on. Others had trailed out of the Gates and down from the stables as well, curious

 

Solas and Dorian approached Cullen from the Gates, and Cassandra stepped up to his right side, face tight with concern. Even the Iron Bull and Blackwall - the last to have been recruited, not long before Redcliffe - were watching from the opposite side of the cousins.

 

"No, Amaris! Not until you _snap_ out of it!" Ayr spun her staff and struck then, a bolt of fire shooting straight for Amaris, "Fight me!"

 

"Ayr!" Amaris flung up a barrier to deflect the attack, forced to cast another as her cousin threw another spell at her, "Stop!"

 

" _Fight. me!_ " Ayr growled, whirling her staff in a tight arch and sending a barrage of lightning at Amaris, who hastily conjured another barrier to block it, "Fight me, dammit!"

 

 _This is madness!_ Cullen moved to intercept only to have a hand land on his shoulder and stop him, Dorian shaking his head when he looked at him.

 

"Trust me, you _don't_ want to get in the middle of that. Besides, it is necessary, I believe."

 

"It is." Solas agreed, though his eyes never wavered from the blonde elf conjuring barrier after barrier, "Ayr believes - and I agree with her - that the only way we will regain Amaris is if she is _forced_ to see past her fear of failure. I have done what I can, to no avail."

 

"And you think _this_ method will work?" Cullen demanded, his long-rooted mistrust of mages rearing its ugly head, flinching every time a fire bolt or arch of lightning crashed against a barrier, "The Herald could be seriously hurt! Or Ayr!"

 

"Ayr told me that she and Amaris often sparred like this, back with their Clan, when they needed a break or even just the exercise," Dorian voiced, and Cullen squashed the most bizarre flare of jealousy at the simple knowledge the Tevinter mage had of the cousins, "She thought that the familiar actions might lure Amaris back to herself."

 

" _Look_ at Ayr, Commander." Solas drew his attention, voice soft but authoritative, "Look at her _magic_. It is anything _but_ wild and unstable. Ayr has complete control. She knows what she is doing."

 

Cullen's gaze returned to the redheaded elf and, yes, they were right; every spell, every fire ball and lightning strike was perfectly targeted so that even if Amaris was slow with a barrier, it wouldn't actually _hit_ her.

 

His gaze, he found, was drawn to the mage herself, to her movements and expressions, the easy spin of the staff in her hands and the familiar footwork of someone practiced in evasion. She reminded him - startlingly so - of _that_ Elven mage from so long ago, the woman that had become the Hero of Ferelden.

 

 _She_ had always been one to flaunt her easy manipulation of the elements, of whatever staff she was using, of the keen power she had been born with.

 

Funny they should both be named Ayr. _Perhaps it is a common name among the Dalish. A concern for a later time._

 

"Fight _back_!" Ayr's voice ringing out brought his attention back to the present, focusing in on where the redhead continued to circle her cousin, casting spells, "Amaris! _Do it_!"

 

"I _can't_!" Amaris flung up another barrier, "You _died_ , Ayr! I _failed_! I _can't-_ "

 

" _Yes you can_! Look at me! I'm _alive_! Everyone is alive! That terrible future didn't happen!"

 

"I failed-"

 

"You _haven't_ failed! Not _yet_!" Ayr was snapping now, her temper flaring in her words, "If you keep _hiding_ , you _will_ fail!"

 

 _That_ hit a nerve; Amaris seemed to falter, going very still and stiff, grip on her staff tightening. It was a subtle change, but Cullen was used to being on the battlefield, used to looking for minor irregularities.

 

When Ayr attacked this time, Amaris didn't cast a barrier; she cast _ice_ , a wall of it that blocked the blast and shot _straight_ towards her cousin.

 

Ayr dodged, and suddenly everything changed.

 

Amaris no longer pleaded and blocked; now she was fighting _back_ , casting ice spells and spirit waves to match Ayr's fire and lightning, blocking and dodging and attacking, her skill with magic no less impressive then the redheads.

 

They fell into a pattern that looked more like a dance then a fight, and Dorian let out a relieved chuckle beside him, "Well now, it looks as though Ayr was correct."

 

"So it would seem." Cullen only mumbled back, eyes still on the battling mages.

 

As fast as it began, it ended; the two women whirled and froze, the ends of their staffs mere inches from each other's necks.

 

 _Fire and ice._ came the thought, noting the cousin's colour schemes and preferred elements. They also matched their personalities; cool and collected for Amaris, fiery and wild for Ayr.

 

The cousins stared at each other for a moment before simultaneously breaking out in grins, staffs lowered as they clasped hands and let their foreheads rest together, laughing quietly.

 

"It's about time." Cullen heard Ayr mumble affectionately, voice slightly exasperated.

 

"Sorry, cous." Amaris grinned back, tugging away after a moment to look at everyone gathered. She drew herself to her full height and straightened her shoulders, returning, in that moment, to the determined woman Cullen had met that first day.

 

"I apologize if I have worried anyone. I was not myself, and so I have relied on you for too long. I am now recovered. Leliana!" Amaris had turned to the Gates then, "Are the mages ready?"

 

"They are, my lady!" the Spymaster - who stood just outside the Gates with Josephine, having come out during the battle - shouted back, "Whenever you are!"

 

"Tomorrow, then!" Amaris lifted her voice, "We close the breach!"

 

Cheers sprung up around them - soldiers and mages and former Templars, everyone who had heard - and yet Cullen couldn't seem to focus on anything but the redheaded elf standing behind her cousin, content to remain in the background and smiling in relief at the back of Amaris' head.

 

Then Ayr caught him looking - green eyes shifting to meet gold - and her grin turned lopsided, eyebrows lifting as if to say _I did it._

 

The Commander only returned the grin and nodded, feeling that strange flush creeping up his neck again and wondering, for the millionth time, what was _wrong_ with him.

 

Dorian - still to the Commanders left and unnoticed by either Cullen or Ayr - glanced between them and gave a knowing _smirk_.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Ayr took her time going to the Chantry later that night, relieved and rather _enjoying_ her time alone, now that Amaris was no longer keeping her at arms-reach.

 

 _Thank Mythal my gamble worked,_ she breathed mentally, _I don't know how much longer I could've handled Amaris' mother-hen state._

But that was over and done with, she tried to reassure herself; Amaris was back to normal, the mages were ready to go, and they would be sealing the Breach the next day.

 

Tonight, Josephine had declared that - in order to celebrate the successful recruitment of the mages and Amaris' recovery - they should all take a night off.

 

AKA: they should _all_ eat together, for once, and spend a few hours talking and relaxing, rather than continuing to work when all the preparations had been finished for tomorrow.

 

Coming from _Josephine_ \- the biggest work-a-holic of them all - it had practically been an _order_ , and so no one had argued.

 

Ayr had spent part of the day trying to finalize the letter to their clan - a feat made much easier by Josephine's assistance, and the fact that Amaris had added some input as well - before tracking down Leliana and handing it off to the Spymaster.

 

"It's not anything secretive or manipulative, I promise," Ayr grinned at the older woman, shrugging, "Just so they know not to panic or send people looking for us."

 

"I understand, Lady Ayr. I will have one of my Agents deliver it personally." Leliana had promised, further lifting the elf's spirits as she left to attend to her own duties.

 

The rest of the day Ayr spent wandering Haven, familiarizing herself with the layout and the people as she hadn't had a chance to beforehand.

 

Amaris - unsurprisingly - was with Solas by the cabin he was staying in, and she could tell her cousin was trying to flirt (subtly) by the way she fidgeted and played with the edge of her sleeve. It seemed to be working, if the easy smile and quiet responses to her questions were any indication.

 

Dorian she found hovering near a cabin across the way, and the redhead slunk up beside him with a grin, jerking her head in the direction of the two elves.

 

"How long have they been at this?"

 

"A couple of hours, give or take?" Dorian smirked, rolling his eyes dramatically, " _Clearly_ , they are both interested, but far as I can tell they've been discussing nothing but the Fade and old elvhen myths."

 

"Amaris is a bookworm, Dorian; that _is_ flirting, to her." Amaris' laughter echoed over to them, Solas looking slightly pink in the ears, "And apparently, it is to _Solas_ , as well. Good."

 

"Good?" the Tevinter mage repeated, eyeing her.

 

"Good. Amaris has never taken an interest in _anyone_. If, after all the shit she's been through, she's found someone she's interested in who _likes her back_..." Ayr shrugged, "Well, then I'll be happy for her."

 

"Ah, I see, I see. And what of you, dear heart? Have any of our _fine_ comrades caught _your_ eye?"

 

"Why, Master Pavus, is that a _hint_?"

 

"Perhaps, though not in respect to myself. My tastes run a rather bit more, ah..." Dorian paused, and Ayr caught his eyes following a recruit along the lower pathway. A _male_ recruit. "... _rugged_ then you, my dear. If you catch my meaning."

 

"Ah..." a light bulb went on in Ayr's head then, the elf worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, "Does my flirting _bother_ you, Dorian? I'm sorry, it's kind of just... automatic at this point..."

 

"Not at all, dear girl, I rather _enjoy_ your flirting; it is a fresh relief from the seriousness of the rest of the party." Dorian winked, grinning, "And now you know my _deepest, darkest_ secret, in which case I am even _further_ inclined to return the flirting, if only to piss off a certain Commander. He is _so_ fun to see ruffled up."

 

"Cullen?" Ayr's eyebrows lifted, "Why would he care? I know I've, uh... ticked him off a few times, but I doubt my flirting with anyone has any ill effects on the Inquisition."

 

"You would have to ask him about that yourself, my friend," Dorian patted her on the shoulder then, face an odd mix of amusement and knowing, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I see a soldier I would rather like to introduce myself to. I will see you at dinner, Ayr."

 

From there, Ayr had made a circle; starting with the Tavern where she had a very brief, very _strange_ conversation with Sera - did _anything_ the rebel say make sense to anyone but herself? - and then pausing to talk to Varric, always entertained by the dwarf's opinion's on things.

 

"Why 'Firecracker?" she enquired after a bit, curious.

 

"Well..." Varric drawled, and Ayr didn't know if he was stalling or trying to find the proper words, "Your hair, for one thing, but... also your temper, and your quick reactions. I donno, it just... seemed to fit."

 

"Dammit," Ayr cursed softly, lips twitching, "Cullen was _half_ right, then."

 

"Curly? How so?"

 

"He asked about the name, the first time you called me it. I said it was because of my hair; he said it was my temper. So, half-right."

 

"Huh. Didn't know he had a funny bone in him, the Commander." Varric seemed to mull over the words, "Though, he _is_ quite a bit different now, then when I knew him in Kirkwall."

 

"I didn't realize you'd known each other beforehand?" Ayr questioned, surprised. She'd known Cullen had been there during the rebellion - knew he'd served as a Templar before being recruited by Cassandra - but she hadn't known there was any connection between him and the others, "How did you know him?"

 

"Well, I was friends with the Champion of Kirkwall, Hawke, and she was kind of a big part of the happenings in Kirkwall at the time. I didn't know Cullen _well_ , per say, but he never seemed the funny type."

 

"Huh. It seems the Commander is full of surprises, then."

 

"You'd think I'd _stop_ being surprised by things at this point, but alas..." Varric sighed dramatically, grinning with one eye closed, "He's a good Commander, though, and he's done better under the Inquisition then he ever did with the Templars. Suits him better."

 

"I will have to trust your judgement on that, Varric."

 

Ayrs final destinations - outside the Gates - were the training grounds and the stables, standing against the snow covering the rest of the terrain.

 

Blackwall she paused only briefly to greet - the man was far to dreary and serious for her liking - before stopping to converse with Krem and Bull, the duo usually good for a laugh or bit of information.

 

The Iron Bull she was _slightly_ weary of, if only because of his admission that he was part of the Ben-Hassrath, but he had proven to be a valuable ally during their trip into the Hinterlands and for now she would give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

"I am getting _wasted_ at the feast tonight," Bull declared, voice laced with amusement, "May as well; not much we non-mages can do in regards to tomorrow's mission. May as well _enjoy_ ourselves while we can!"

 

"Just no opening caskets of Ale with _axes_ this time, alright, Boss?" Krem cautioned with a chuckle, "Though at least we shouldn't have to _carry_ them anywhere, this time."

 

"Perfectly fine way to open barrels of ale," Bull only shrugged, shooting Ayr a grin, "I'd say it's about time we head for the fancy hall to get our grub on. Y'coming?"

 

"Soon. Just enjoying being off-leash for a while." Ayr joked, waving and heading towards the training grounds as they left, intent on making the rounds.

 

Amaris preferred solitude, or the company of just a few, close friends. Ayr was a people person; she wanted to know everyone that made up her cousin's 'inner circle', so that she could help as best as she was capable.

 

Well... okay, Vivienne and Sera she didn't really want to get to know. Sera was a pain in the ass, and Vivienne... well, she was Vivienne.

 

Surprisingly, as Ayr approached the training grounds, the only familiar face she caught sight of was Cassandra's, going at a training dummy as though it had insulted The Divine.

 

 _That's odd. Where's Cullen?_ Ayr paused at the thought, frowning, _And why do I **care** that he's not here? Weird..._

 

Forcing the thoughts away, the redhead approached Cassandra, flinching in surprise at a particularly vicious strike against the dummy. "Wow... uh, that supposed to be Amaris? Or me?"

 

Her cousin and the Seeker had gotten off to a rocky start initially, Amaris had told her - though it was mostly due to the elf being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and not anything Amaris had personally done.

 

Cassandra huffed out what _may_ have been a laugh, "No. I simply find myself needing to _strike_ something, to let out my frustrations. The Herald - Amaris - was not the only one who failed in that strange vision."

 

_Oh, for the love of Mythal..._

 

"You stopped it." Ayr replied firmly, drawing the other woman's attention, "You all stopped it from happening. You changed things. None of you _failed_."

 

Cassandra regarded her for a moment, face blank, before allowing a small smile. "I promise I  will not go catatonic like your cousin did, Ayr. I apologize for sounding so morose. Let us not speak of this matter any longer."

 

"Agreed." Ayr relaxed, then glanced around, "Where is the Commander, anyways? He's usually here with the troops."

 

She regretted asking the moment the words left her, Cassandra giving her what looked like a _very knowing_ smirk, "The Commander retired early, as I believe he wanted to go over some of the reports before dinner tonight. Dinner that, I believe, we are now running late for. Shall we?"

 

Ayr nodded, following after the Seeker in an easy silence that stretched the entire way to the Chantry.

 

Those not in The Heralds Inner Circle would be eating at the fire or in their own cabins as per usual, and a few had already gathered as the sun dipped and darkness began to fall over them.

 

Entering the Chantry, Ayr could see the expected table set up near the back of the hall, towards the War Room. Most of the others were there already - Bull had taken a seat at one end due to his larger size, Krem at his right and Blackwall to his left.

 

Amaris sat at the other end with Solas at her side, the two _still_ talking quietly, making Ayr shake her head a little. Her cousin was _infatuated_ , for sure...

 

Leliana, Josephine and Vivienne sat along the side furthest from the doors, one seat open to Amaris' left and only Dorian occupying a place on the edge facing them.

 

A shimmer in the air - like a ripple or distortion - caught Ayr's eye near the right wall, an almost silent _laugh_ following it that made her suspicious.

 

"Go on ahead," she told Cassandra, already backing up a step, "I need to... _check_ something."

 

The Seeker shrugged and continued onwards, Ayr backpedaling and dodging into the shadows, stalking the mischievous laughter as she allowed a spell to charge in her hand.

 

Then, certain of her target, she _flung_ it, knowing she'd been right when an indignant _squawk_ and cursing rang out ahead, a form shimmering to life as the person's stealth-spell wore off.

 

Sera swung around - or _tried_ to, but mostly just managed to whip her head around due to the paralysation spell she was under - and attempted to look innocent for a whole 5 seconds before scowling, "Oi! C'mon, _red_! Lemme go!"

 

"What're you up to _now_ , Sera?" Ayr stepped closer, catching sight of what was clutched in the other elf's arms, "Isn't _that_...?"

 

"Oh, c'mon, like'e _needs_ it!" Sera huffed, trying and failing to hide the feathered coat she held, "Just a coat! Better suited to a _non_ high ass!"

 

"That's _stealing_." Ayr chided even as she fought a smirk, circling around the blonde to pluck the - _heavy_ , holy crap - coat from her arms, "I'll be returning this to the Commander, I think. You're lucky you haven't been tossed _out_ for this behaviour Sera."

 

"Oh, lay off! Just havin' some fun! May as well, with the world endin' and all!"

 

"Promise to behave and I'll let you go."

 

"Hah! It'll wear off soon'enough, right? I don't hafta promise _anything_."

 

"Note that you're still frozen." Ayr mused, rather enjoying the brief flash of panic in the other woman's eyes, "I can maintain the spell _much. longer._ then most mages. You may find yourself missing _dinner_."

 

" _Fine_ , weirdy! I promise t'behave! Now lemme _go_!"

 

"Good girl." Ayr waved her hand - as best she could, still holding onto the coat - and Sera immediately darted away, as though fearing she would be struck with _another_ spell.

 

"I'm eating _outside_! Spoil sport!" were the last words she caught before the blonde was gone, leaving the laughter coming from the main table to echo down to her.

 

 _Alright, then,_ Ayr hefted the coat higher in her arms, still surprised by how bloody _heavy_ it was, _Let's return this to the Commander._

 

As she walked, Ayr couldn't help noticing how soft the coat was; the feathers - which she'd assumed would be itchy - were actually incredibly supple, not bristly in the least, and almost felt like fur. The coat itself was made of high quality fabric, sturdy but silky against her skin.

 

Pausing to readjust her bundle and lift it higher so it wouldn't drag on the ground, she ended up with her nose briefly pressed to the feathers, inhaling out of surprise and suddenly _swimming_ in the scents of leather and steel and _Cullen_ , masculine and musky.

 

 _Whoa there, Ayr,_ feeling her face heating up, Ayr quickly lowered the coat and lifted her chin as far as she could without looking strange, striding quickly towards the Commander's chambers, _Just return the damn coat like you'd intended to. Creators, who cares what Cullen smells like?_

 

Never mind that some wicked little voice in the back of her mind whispered that she _liked_ it.

 

Clearing her throat - and praying to Mythal that her face wasn't red - Ayr managed to extract one hand long enough to knock on the proper door, calling after "Commander?"

 

"Busy at the moment!" Cullen's voice rang out from inside, sounding rather more frazzled and annoyed then she'd ever heard him before, "Come back later-"

 

"Cullen," Ayr tried again, wondering if using his name would make a difference, "It's Ayr. I.... _retrieved_ something for you."

 

There was silence for a moment before the door was suddenly pulled open, a reverse of when he'd come to the cabin to get _her_ , so long ago now.

 

Cullen stared at her from within the doorframe, wearing his usual ensemble minus the coat and vambraces, one hand still poised on the door.

 

Shifting a little uncomfortably under his intense stare, Ayr lifted her bundle higher, golden eyes snapping down to the coat in her arms and widening in surprise.

 

Cullen licked his lips once - an action Ayr should _not_ have zeroed in on as much as she did - and reached for the coat, voice edged with annoyance and slight amusement, "Sera?"

 

"Sera." Ayr agreed, glad when the tension seemed to dissipate slightly.

 

"Thank you." Cullen worked at shrugging it on - Ayr realizing how strong he was, if he could maneuver that heavy thing that easily - while keeping his focus on her, "How did you get it back?"

 

Ayr immediately stiffened, fidgeting under his gaze, "Well, I noticed a ripple - someone using a stealth spell - in the Chantry, and thought I should check it out. I kind of... um... paralysed her... briefly." knowing his distrust of mages, she quickly followed with "It didn't hurt her! Just... kept her still... long enough to get the coat back..."

 

Ayr fell silent, feeling like she'd ruined all the progress she'd made in _not_ being a nuisance to the Commander, when a soft chuckle from the man had her head snapping back up, startled.

 

"She deserved it, the rascal," Cullen shook his head, scar pulling at his lips as they twitched into a semblance of a grin, "Don't tell anyone I said that. But thank you for retrieving my coat, Ayr. Sera seems obsessed with it."

 

"Why? It's just a coat." _A very nice coat_ , Ayr's mind supplied, but she swatted the thoughts away before they could show on her face.

 

"I'm not sure. Perhaps simply because she knows it is important to me." Cullen stepped out into the hall then, closing and locking the door behind him before motioning towards the head table, falling into step beside her, "Cassandra gave it to me upon my agreement to be Commander of the Inquisition forces. It marks the end of my life as a Templar, and the beginning of my life with the Inquisition."

 

"It suits you, Commander." the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and Ayr looked away immediately, knowing her ears were going pink.

 

A moment passed before a quiet, surprised "Thank you, Ayr," came from the Commander, making her feel _slightly_ better.

 

They had reached the table by then, Cullen taking the remaining seat to Amaris' left, Ayr slipping into the seat between Dorian and Varric, with Cassandra on the Tevinter's other side.

 

"Before I forget," Ayr looked at the Commander in surprise, having expected him to address the other advisors or Amaris herself, "Your markings. What are they?"

 

"The Vallaslin?" Ayr replied, realizing after the words were out that if he was asking, Cullen didn't know what the word meant.

 

He nodded, confirming her thoughts, "I've noticed the Dalish all seem to have them, though in varying patterns. I wondered what they stood for?"

 

"They are a way in which we honor the Old Gods," Amaris spoke up, and Ayr was more than happy for her cousin to take over, not liking the path the conversation had taken, "When we reach eighteen, we select a God, and our Keeper bestows the Vallaslin."

 

"You both wear the same markings," Leliana spoke up, fingers steepled on the table as she considered the cousins, "Which God is it that you honor?"

 

"Dirthamen, the Elven god of secrets and knowledge." Amaris smiled faintly, "Legend says he gave the elves the gift of knowledge and taught us loyalty and faith in our families."

 

"Though the gift of knowledge certainly suits," Solas murmured from Amaris' side, expression a mixture of distaste and affection, "I am surprised by your choice of Vallaslin; I would have expected perhaps Mythal, judging by your personality."

 

"I chose my Vallaslin to honor my mother, who died prematurely and also wore Dirthamen's markings." Amaris answered simply, still smiling, "And besides, learning is my life; the gift of knowledge is important to me."

 

"And what of you, Ayr?" Leliana turned the conversation to her then, and Ayr wished she could sink into the ground and disappear, more ashamed then ever of her own reasons.

 

"I mimicked Amaris in everything she did when I was young." she muttered, eyes down cast, "I took Dirthamen's Vallaslin for no reason other than copying my cousin."

 

Silence reigned for a moment, only broken by the _snap_ of the flames in the sconces and Bull continuing to drink despite the conversation.

 

"Loyalty and faith in your families." Cullen echoed after a while, grin lopsided as he caught Ayr's eye, "Seems to fit you perfectly. It suits you."

 

"Tell us about the Templars." Ayr blurted, completely caught off guard by him turning her words back on her - _it suits you_ \- and needing to get the attention off of herself, "You said you left them when Cassandra recruited you, but you were a part of the order during the mage rebellion in Kirkwall. You must have believed in their cause, at some point, or you wouldn't have joined them?"

 

Cullen looked briefly startled by her outburst, but he brushed it aside and sat back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest, "At the time, I could think of no better calling to protect those in need. At first, the Templars at the local Chantry merely humored me - teaching me their ways when I begged - but I must have shown some sort of promise, for the Knight-Captain spoke to my parents on my behalf. They agreed to send me for training when I was thirteen."

 

Though now the majority of the table was eating and drinking, it was clear they were all listening as well. Most were as curious about Cullen's Templar background as she was, Ayr realized, though the others were perhaps only interested in listening as a sort of dinner entertainment.

 

"That's very young," Amaris spoke, catching Ayr's eye in a silent confirmation. Ayr nodded, knowing the _other_ person her cousin was thinking of, recruited to an Order at a very young age.

 

"I wasn't the youngest there; some children are promised to the order at infancy. Still, I didn't take on full responsibilities until I was 18; they make sure you're trained and educated properly, first."

 

"Did you not miss your family?" this question from Josephine.

 

"Of course, but most of us were the same age and from similar circumstances; we learned to look out for each other. I was not lonely."

 

"I'll admit... I hadn't actually _encountered_ Templars before, really." Ayr spoke slowly, hesitant to speak up even though _she_ was the one who'd turned the conversation this way, "What do Templars _do_ , besides guarding mages?"

 

"Templars protect against the _dangers_ of magic," Cullen stressed, and suddenly those golden eyes were on her again, Ayr stubbornly fighting the urge to duck her gaze, "Before the order left the Chantry, that meant serving in a Circle. They were also responsible for tracking down apostates, or defeating demons summoned by mages who couldn't control them."

 

"And what do _you_ think of mages?" she pressed, still maintaining eye contact, "Are we _all_ a threat?"

 

Cullen winced, gaze dropping for a moment, "I've... seen the suffering magic can inflict. I've treated mages with distrust because of it - at times without cause. That was unworthy of me." the Commander looked up again, once more catching her eye, "I will do my best not to do so here."

 

"Do Templars take _vows_?" Dorian piped up from beside Ayr suddenly, an odd gleam to his eye, " ' I swear to the Maker to watch all mages' - that sort of thing?"

 

Cullen nodded, "There's a Vigil, first. You're meant to be at peace during that time, but your life is about to change. When it's over, you give yourself to a life of service. That's when you're given a Philter - your first draught of Lyrium - and it's power."

 

"As Templars, we are not to seek wealth, or acknowledgement. Our lives belong to the maker and the path we have chosen."

 

"A life of service and _sacrifice_ , hmm..." Dorian leaned forwards on his arms then, a smirk forming beneath his mustache, "Are Templars also expected to give up... _physical_ temptations?"

 

The silence reared its head again as _everyone_ stopped what they were doing to _stare_ ; first at Dorian, and then at _Cullen_ as they waited for his response.

 

" _Physical_? Why-" Cullen's face was turning red, shock written all over his face, "Why would you..." he paused again, composing himself, "That's... not expected. Templars _can_ marry - although there are rules around it, and the Order must grant permission. _Some_ may choose to give up... _more_ , to prove their devotion, but it's... um... not _required_."

 

Clearly, Dorian's game tonight was 'make Cullen as uncomfortable as possible', because he grinned wider and nearly _purred_ , "Have _you_?"

 

Ayr couldn't decide whether she wanted to smack him or hug him, torn because on the one hand, she was _curious_ ; but on the other, was Dorian actually _flirting_ with the Commander or just messing with him?

 

And why, for the love of Mythal, did she _care_?

 

" _Me?_ " now Cullen just looked dumb-struck, his neck and ears still rather red, "I... um... _no_. I've taken no such vows." his gaze dropped to his food then, breath _whooshing_ out of him, "Makers breath... can we speak of something _else_?"

 

"Ah, Templars," Dorian leaned back and turned to Ayr then, looking rather satisfied with himself, "So _shy_ and misunderstood. Tsk tsk."

 

Then he winked, and Ayr couldn't help the laugh that escaped her at his confirmation that he _had_ simply been messing with the Commander, strangely relieved.

 

"What about you, Dorian?" she teased, actually turning her attention to her dinner now that most of the conversations had turned to more simple things, "Any vows of abstinence in Tevinter?"

 

"None worth mentioning, and none I'd like to talk about," Dorian grinned, "What about you Dalish?"

 

"Hmm, not really. _Marriage_ amongst the Dalish is referred to as _bonding_ , and while sex isn't exactly _encouraged_ by the _hahren_ \- the Elder of the Clan - or the Keeper, it's not _discouraged_ either. Any youths that aren't bonded can experiment as they like, really."

 

"Fascinating." Dorian stroked his chin thoughtfully, and from the corner of her eye Ayr caught Cullen watching them - listening, it seemed, to their strange conversation, rather than to the others near him, "And what of _you_ , my dear Ayr? Any favorable young men catch your eye?"

 

"I'm a flirt, not a slut," Ayr retorted, lifting her chin in a momentary pretense of offense before rolling her eyes, " _No_ , I've not met any 'favorable men', Dorian. Dalish Clans are small, and we keep mostly to ourselves; the _boys_ of our Clan were hardly worth noticing."

 

"Though that didn't stop them from _trying_..." Amaris input suddenly, looking slightly mischievous.

 

Ayr shot her a look, wondering what she was playing at even as she focused on keeping her eyes on her cousin and _not_ the blonde Commander to her left, "Amaris, hush."

 

"What? It's true. You could have had your pick of any of them, you know."

 

"As could _you_."

 

"Only because I was the Clans _First_ , but you-"

 

"I THINK," Josephine spoke loudly from the centre of the table, drawing everyone's attention, "That we should go over our plans for tomorrow. We must be ready to seal the breach, and prepare for whatever is coming afterwards."

 

Despite the topic being significantly more serious than the others, Ayr found herself letting out a breath of relief, mentally sending Josephine a _thank you thank you thank you_ as the others fell into talks of the coming mission.

 

Ayr couldn't bring herself to look anywhere near the Commander for the rest of the meal, and Dorian could only grin from his seat beside her, _incredibly_ pleased with himself.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

It was time.

 

When last Ayr had come through the Temple of Sacred Ashes, she'd been by herself, moving quickly and focusing only on tracking Amaris.

 

Now she stood amongst the other Mages, ready and willing to help close the tear in the sky.

 

Amaris stood down below with Solas and Cassandra, speaking quietly. Then the blonde elf lifted her left hand - glowing sickly green to match the Breach - and clenched it into a fist, giving the others a tight nod before approaching the tear..

 

"Mages!" Cassandra called out, drawing their attention.

 

"Focus past the Herald!" Solas demanded, pointing his staff in Amaris' direction, "Let her will _draw_ from you!"

 

All eyes turned to Amaris then - pushing forwards through the green mist, hand outstretched and glowing ominously.

 

Solas gave the signal, and the first mage struck the ground with his staff, beginning the spell.

 

All the others followed suit, Ayr joining in when her section was reached, magic spiraling out and through the ground, shooting towards Amaris as she lifted her arm and flung her hand to the sky, green energy darting out in an arch.

 

The magic joined with the energy, flying up in a straight line, coalescing and flashing brilliant white, blocking out the sky and the area where Amaris stood.

 

A shockwave flung everyone to their feet, Ayr cursing as she hit the ground before scrambling up and racing down the steps.

 

Amaris was the only one who had managed to stay on one knee rather than crumpling to the ground, chest heaving with exertion and sweat trickling down her face.

 

Ayr approached her cousin with Cassandra, her gaze drawn upwards to where the Breach had been but seconds before, now a mere scar in the sky.

 

"You did it." Cassandra confirmed, cheers rising up amongst the gathered crowds as Amaris attempted to smile, turning back to face them.

 

"Let's go back to Haven." Amaris answered, linking arms with Ayr and walking back towards their forces, everyone very much ready to celebrate.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Everyone in Haven was partying, it seemed. People danced in circles around the main fire, drinks were abundant, and laughter and music filled the air.

 

Neither Lavellan was amongst the partiers, however. Amaris stood on the platform outside the Chantry, one foot braced on the low wall as she watched the events, silent.

 

Ayr sat on the wall beside her cousin, watching just as intently and fighting a nagging feeling at the back of her mind that said this wasn't over yet.

 

Neither turned at Cassandra's familiar footsteps in the snow behind them, the Seeker grinning slightly as she appeared at Amaris' left side, "Solas confirms the skies are scarred but calm. The Breach is sealed."

 

"We've reports of lingering Rifts, and many questions remain..." Cassandra paused, then nodded to Amaris, "But this _was_ a victory. Word of your heroism has spread."

 

"You _know_ how many were involved," Amaris argued softly, " _Luck_ put me at the centre."

 

"A strange kind of luck," the Seeker agreed, "I'm not sure if we need _more_ or _less_. But you're right; this was a victory of _alliance_. One of the few in recent memory. With the Breach closed, that alliance will need new focus."

 

Whatever Amaris _might_ have said was cut off by a sudden ringing, clanging bell, the three women snapping to attention as the alarm went off.

 

"Forces approaching!" Ayr heard Cullen's voice from somewhere below, commanding even when surprised, "To arms!"

 

"We must get to the Gates!" Cassandra was drawing her sword and darting ahead, Ayr and Amaris following swiftly after.

 

They met the others halfway down the steps, Varric cursing, "I _knew_ it was too easy."

 

The group met Cullen just inside the Gates, the Commander looking grim and concerned.

 

"Cullen?" Cassandra demanded, approaching at the head of the group.

 

"One watch guard reporting; it's a _massive_ force, the bulk over the mountain."

 

"Under what banner?" Josephine enquired, appearing with Leliana.

 

" _None_." Cullen grumbled.

 

" _None_?"

 

 _Fire_ flashed just outside the wooden Gates then, a young voice calling out "I can't come in unless you open!"

 

Amaris and Ayr shared a look before striding forwards and shoving open the Gates, stepping out onto the snow. A masked warrior approached only to gurgle and fall, dead, a moment later, revealing the young, rather gaunt man behind him.

 

Cullen was right behind the cousins as they carefully approached him, skirting the dead warrior.

 

"I'm Cole." the newcomer introduced, voice shaky, "I came to _warn_ you. To help!" he darted forwards suddenly, standing _right_ in front of Amaris, "People are coming to _hurt_ you! You... probably already know-"

 

"What is this?" Amaris demanded, forcing herself to take charge, "What's going on?"

 

"The Templars come to kill you." Cole mumbled.

 

" _Templars_?" Cullen demanded, striding forwards to stand between the cousins and Cole - who flinched back from the Commander - sounding incredulous, "Is _this_ the Orders response to our talks with the Mages? Attacking _blindly_?"

 

"The _Red Templars_ went to The Elder one," Cole cut in, attention back on Amaris, "You know him. He knows _you. You_ took his _mages_." Cole backed up as suddenly as he'd approached, turning to point into the distance, " _There_."

 

Ayr followed his direction, squinting into the distance.

 

There was one man, seedy and dark haired, wearing red armor and carrying a massive, triangular sword.

 

"That man..." she heard Cullen breathe behind her, "I know him. This Elder One-"

 

The words cut off as another form _materialised_ out of the fog, coming to stand beside the other and stare down at them. But this... this was barely a man at all, twisted and corrupted by Red Lyrium and something else, hands more like claws, red crystals jutting out of his skin.

 

All around and before him, Templars marched towards Haven.

 

"He's _very angry_ that you took his mages." Cole intoned, backing up to stand with them.

 

"Cullen!" Amaris barked, grip tight on her staff, "Give me a plan! Anything!"

 

"Haven is no Fortress." Cullen reported, "If we are to withstand this monster we _must_ control the battle. Get _out there_ and hit that force, use everything you can."

 

The Commander drew his sword, turning to rally the troops even as he caught Ayr's eye for a brief moment - nodding to her, as though saying _keep safe, both of you_ , - before turning his attention elsewhere, "Mages! You have sanction to engage them! That is _Samson_ he will _not_ make it easy!"

 

"Inquisition! With The Herald!" Cullen spun, thrusting his sword into the air towards the approaching forces, "For your lives! For _all_ of us!"

 

Ayr caught her cousins eye, jerking her head, "Trebuchets?"

 

Amaris nodded, "Trebuchets. Let's go!"

 

"We're with you, friends," Dorian's voice caught their attention for the moment, alerting them to the group that hadn't dispersed. Solas, Cassandra, Varric and Dorian all gave grim nods, following as the cousins headed for the nearest Trebuchet.

 

The Templars - _Red Templars_ , as Cole had referred to them - came in swarms, the group fighting to keep them off the trebuchet and the soldiers manning it.

 

"Almost ready! Keep them off us!"

 

Ayr grit her teeth and flung another barrage of lightning at the oncoming enemies, a wall of ice slicing through another group as Amaris fought behind her, joined by barriers and fire blasts from Solas and Dorian.

 

Varric covered with arrows, Cassandra plowing through those that got to close, keeping them under control and away from the trebuchet.

 

Some of the Red Templars barely even resembled _men_ anymore, twisted by the Red Lyrium and whatever experiments had been done to them.

 

 _Finally_ , the trebuchet was loaded and _fired_ , the soldiers crying out victory as the enemies attacking them dispersed.

 

"We'll reload!" the soldier manning the wheel shouted, "Get to the South Trebuchet! It's not firing, something must be wrong!"

 

"Let's go!" Amaris commanded, charging away down the path with the rest of them following, the reason why the other trebuchet wasn't firing becoming clear as they spotted the Red Templars patrolling around it.

 

A flurry of Ice and Fire rained down on them, felling the first group as even more came up the opposite path towards them, the soldier that had accompanied them hurrying to the controls as they held them off.

 

Ayr spun out of the way of one of the mutilated men before flinging a fireball into its face, Amaris catching another as it tried to sneak up behind them.

 

"Herald!" the soldier called, "Man the Trebuchet! I'll load!"

 

Amaris nodded and ran up the steps, taking control of the wheel and _wrenching_ it with all her strength, aiming the shot.

 

Ayr and the others stayed in a tight half-circle, keeping close watch of the forest and paths around them, watching for _any_ sign of movement.

 

Finally, the trebuchet was aimed properly, Amaris slamming it into place and screaming "FIRE!"

 

The bolt flew true; slamming into the mountain and sending an avalanche down upon the Red Templars, catching them off guard and halting their march on Haven.

 

All was still for a moment, everyone holding their breath, before _someone_ blew a victory horn, cheers rising up around them as the avalanche settled.

 

Amaris gave a relieved sigh, Ayr throwing her arm around her cousin with a 'whoop!' and Varric gently punching the blonde elf's arm, grinning.

 

Even _Solas_ almost cracked a smile, coming up to stand with them as they stared out over where the army had been.

 

Then Amaris' expression changed, horror taking the place of victory as she grabbed Ayr and dodged backwards, "MOVE!"

 

Red flames _barreled_ into the trebuchet, destroying it and sending anyone near it flying, a deafening _shriek_ ringing out as _something_ flew overhead.

 

"Today..." Dorian gasped, pushing himself from the ground, "Is now _well_ beyond making _sense_!"

 

"A _dragon_." Ayr whispered, staring after the creature, terror clawing at her throat.

 

Amaris yanked on her arm, forcing her forwards, "To the Gates! Hurry!"

 

The group ran back down the path, the dragon circling overhead as they moved, trying not to stumble on any debris or bodies.

 

"Herald!" the smith called frantically as they neared the stables, flames covering the building, "Help! My apprentice, he's inside!"

 

"Move!" Cassandra charged forwards, slamming the boxes out of the way with her shield and caving the door in.

 

"Thank Andraste, yer a life saver! Go on, we'll be right behind you!"

 

Amaris grabbed Ayr's arm again and bolted forwards, everyone racing for the Gates and more then aware they were still being stalked.

 

Cullen stood ready to shut them, beckoning them in hastily, "Move it! _Move it!_ "

 

Once they were all in, the Commander bolted the doors; it may not stop a dragon, but it would halt any Red Templars from getting in easily.

 

Cullen's expression was grim and drawn as he turned and stalked back up the steps, shouting as he went, "We need _everyone_ back to the Chantry! It's the only building that might hold against that... beast!" he turned back towards them then, desperation clear, "At this point... just make them _work_ for it."

 

"Wonderful." Ayr muttered, watching him disappear to help people back to the Chantry, doing her best to _not_ act as terrified as she felt.

 

"The villagers will need _help_ if they are to survive this," Dorian commented, snapping them back to attention.

 

"Let's split up." Ayr jogged up the steps, putting on a brave face, "Dorian and I will search the East end, you take the West; we can get more people to safety, quicker, if there's two groups of us."

 

"Are you _sure_ , Ayr?" Amaris' voice was quiet, and Ayr knew her cousin could see right through her brave act.

 

Still, she forced herself to nod, grinning grimly, "We'll meet you at the Chantry."

 

"Stay safe." Amaris turned to the others, face set, "Let's go!"

 

Ayr shared a look with Dorian before they took off in the opposite direction, cursing as a group of Red Templars scaled the wall ahead and went after the nearest person - a Templar recruit named Lysette, if Ayr remembered correctly.

 

The woman was no weakling, but still the two mages engaged, lightning and fire taking down the Red Templars as they appeared, finishing with one of the mutilated horrors.

 

"Good work," Lysette huffed, seeming bruised but otherwise fine, "I'll meet you at the Chantry. Be careful, Lavellan!"

 

"You too!" Ayr was dashing past her as she spoke, ears pricked at cries coming from within the Tavern. Just as they approached, more Red Templars came over the wall, the elf cursing and shouting at her companion, "Dorian, hold them back long enough for me to get that person _out_!"

 

"Hurry!" the Tevinter grunted, already barraging the men with magic as Ayr _rammed_ the door of the tavern with her shoulder, hissing in pain as it swung open.

 

Whatever, a bruised shoulder was _nothing_ compared to someone's life.

 

Flissa was crouched near the bar, Ayr helping her to her feet and leading her quickly out of the building, adding to Dorian's attacks as soon as she had her clear of the flames.

 

"Get to the Chantry!" she barked at the woman, waiting until she was rushing away to continue onwards, heading for the Apothecaries hut and hoping beyond hope that Adan had _not_ returned to his work after imbibing Ale.

 

 _No such luck._ Ayr spotted the two people cowering near the huts - and the _explosives_ , shit - and hurried forwards, grabbing Adan's arm while Dorian grabbed Minaeve's and _yanking_ them free of the cart they were trapped by, getting them both out of the blast range _just_ before the flames hit the pots and they exploded.

 

"I think that's everyone!" Dorian called over the roar of the dragon still circling above, grasping Ayr's arm urgently, "To the Chantry!"

 

Ayr only nodded, racing alongside him towards the Chantry doors, meeting up with Amaris' group - thankfully all in one piece - on the steps outside it.

 

The doors swung open just as they approached, Chancellor Roderick - clutching his side and followed by Cole - beckoning them inside with wheezing, gasping words, "Move! Keep going! The Chantry is your shelter!"

 

Everyone dashed inside, the doors closing behind them - they'd been the last ones left outside, trying to save as many citizens as they could.

 

Chancellor Roderick all but collapsed onto Cole, the younger man hooking his arm over his shoulders and carefully walking him further in.

 

"He tried to stop a Templar," Cole explained, voice monotone, "The blade went deep. He's going to die."

 

Even on death's doorstep, the Chancellor huffed, "What a... _charming_ boy."

 

The cousins shared a grimace and continued inside, their companions close behind.

 

Cullen appeared from a side hallway, gaze briefly landing on Ayr - lightning up for a moment, which made her flush in confusion - before turning to Amaris as he approached, frowning deeply.

 

"Herald, our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might've earned us."

 

"I've seen an Archdemon," Cole spoke up from where he crouched beside Roderick, face mostly hidden by his hat, "I was in the Fade, but it looked like _that_."

 

"I don't care what it _looks_ like!" Cullen barked, clearly frustrated, "It's cut a path for that army! They'll kill _everyone_ in Haven!"

 

"The Elder One doesn't _care_ about the village," Cole scoffed, sounding exasperated, "He only wants The Herald!"

 

Ayr stiffened, Amaris pursing her lips and staring hard at the boy, "I'd give myself to save Haven."

 

"Amaris _no-_ "

 

" _Hush_ Ayr." Amaris cut her cousin off with a harsh look before turning back to Cole, "How do I stop him?"

 

"It won't be _easy_ , he has a _dragon_." Cole's expression grew pained, "He wants to kill _you_. No one else _matters_ , but he'll crush them, kill them. I don't like him.

 

"You don't like-?!" Cullen cut himself off, muttering under his breath before turning to Amaris with a look of desperation, sounding worn out and desperate, "Herald, there are _no tactics_ to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche. We _could_ turn the remaining trebuchets, cause _one_ last slide..."

 

"We're overrun." Ayr retorted, unable to keep silent, "To hit the enemy, we'd _bury_ Haven!"

 

"We're dying." Cullen's words cut off any arguments any of them may have made, golden eyes boring into hers, "But we can decide _how_. Many don't get that choice."

 

"Yes, that..." Cole breathed suddenly, lifting his voice so he would be heard, "Chancellor Roderick can help! He wants to say it before he dies."

 

"There... is a path." the Chancellor began, panting with every breath, "You wouldn't know it, unless you'd made the summer pilgrimage, as I have. The people... _can_ escape!"

 

Amaris schooled her features, approaching the man as he forced himself to stand, an arm wrapped tightly around his wounded middle.

 

"She... must have shown me. _Andraste_ must have shown me so I could... _tell you_."

 

"What are you on about, Roderick?"

 

"It was _whim_ that I walked the path. I did not mean to start - it was overgrown. Now, with so many in the Conclave dead, to be the one who remembers... I don't know, Herald. If this... simple memory can save us, this could me more than mere accident. _You_ could be more."

 

"What about it, Cullen?" Amaris' voice was quiet, hope trying to break through, "Will it work?"

 

"Possibly," The Commander acquiesced, though he looked troubled, " _If_ he shows us the path. But... what of your escape?"

 

Amaris frowned, looking away and clenching her fists. Ayr's heart dropped, knowing what the look meant.

 

Cullen caught on as well, his scowl deepening even as he said "Perhaps you will surprise it, find a way..." then he moved to the other soldiers in the room, barking orders, "Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry! _Move_!"

 

"Amaris, you _can't_." Ayr pleaded softly, hands shaking.

 

"I must."

 

"Herald..." Chancellor Roderick drew Amaris' attention again, once more supported by Cole, "If you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this... I _pray_ for you."

 

"Thank you, Chancellor." Amaris murmured back, watching the man be led away.

 

Several Inquisition soldiers raced past her, out into the night, as Cullen approached again, explaining, "They'll load the trebuchets, then retreat once it's set up. Keep the Elder One's attention until we're above the tree line."

 

"We will escort you to the main trebuchet." Cassandra spoke up, Varric and Solas nodding behind her.

 

"I'm going with you." Ayr stepped up beside her cousin, forcing her terror away and meeting her eyes, "At least to escort you, as well."

 

"No, you're not."

 

"Dammit, Amaris, I can't just let you go without me!"

 

"You don't have a choice. You're going with Cullen and the others."

 

"Why-?!"

 

Amaris had cupped Ayr's face in her hands then, foreheads pressed together as she stared the younger woman down.

 

"Because I know you." Amaris whispered, "And I know that you will _not_ retreat with the others when given the order. I will _not_ let you die for me, Ayr. Not when I can save you." her grip tightened suddenly, magic flashing in her eyes as she murmured " _Theneras._ "

 

Cullen jolted forwards to catch Ayr when she fell suddenly backwards, unconscious and limp in his grasp.

 

"What...?" he questioned, emotions to jumbled to properly articulate the question.

 

Thankfully, he didn't need to; Amaris smiled sadly, pulling her staff from its place across her back.

 

"I know my cousin, Cullen. When given the order to retreat and save herself, I know she would disobey and stay with me, despite the consequences. She may never forgive me for this, but I cannot allow her to die for me. Not like this."

 

"Amaris." Solas' voice broke through, soft but urgent, "We must go."

 

"Alright." Amaris' eyes were sad but determined as she glanced at him again, "Cullen, Dorian. Look after her for me."

 

"You have my word, Herald." Dorian promised, eyebrows lifting when Cullen scooped the unconscious redhead up and held her against his chest, "Well, then, by all means. I'll provide cover fire, shall I?"

 

Amaris turned then, striding quickly towards the Chantry doors and the dragon circling above.

 

"Amaris," Cullen's voice made her pause, "If we are to have a chance - if _you_ are to have a chance - let that thing _hear_ you."

 

The Herald only nodded before darting out and into the open, her companions following quickly behind as they made for the trebuchets.

 

Dorian and Cullen shared a look before they hurried after the rest of Haven, dodging through the hidden pathways of the Chantry and catching up with the tail end of the escapees.

 

No Red Templars came after them, but Dorian stayed vigil, staff at the ready should any enemies appear. Cassandra, Solas and Varric caught up to them roughly ten minutes later, all grim faced and worn out.

 

"We retreated when she ordered us to." was all Cassandra would say, gaze locked on the ground, "Maker protect her."

 

Cullen couldn't think of anything to say, so he just shifted Ayr so his grip on her was more secure, checked that she was still out cold, and continued forwards with the rest of them.

 

It was Varric who fired the signal arrow, bright and flaming as it arched out over the forest, letting Amaris know they were clear.

 

 _Escape, Herald._ Cullen prayed, arms tightening around the Elven woman in his arms, _For Ayr, if nothing else._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Amaris' entire body felt like it was on fire as she was thrown against the trebuchet, crying out despite herself and crumpling to the ground as her vision momentarily blacked out.

 

_Get up! Get **up** , Amaris! You need to finish the mission!_

 

Blinking away the fuzziness, Amaris pushed to her feet and staggered for a moment before grabbing the nearest weapon she could - a sword, dropped by a soldier, heavy and clumsy in hands used to a staff but better than nothing.

 

She backed up against the trebuchet, panting, _praying_ the others had gotten away safely, pointing the sword shakily at the dragon and the one that commanded it.

 

Even as she fought for breath, a spark in the distance caught her eye - a flaming arrow, shot from the mountains.

 

The signal; the others were _clear_.

 

"And _you_ ," The Elder One - Corypheus, the creature behind _everything_ that had happened, - was snarling, approaching slowly, "I will not suffer even an _unknowing_ rival. You must _die_."

 

Amaris hesitated for only a moment before stepping forwards, posing the sword as though she were about to charge. "You expect me to fight, but that's not why I kept you talking. Enjoy your victory; here's your _prize_!"

 

_Forgive me, Ayr._

 

Amaris dropped the sword and _slammed_ her foot down on the launch bar of the trebuchet, setting the machine into motion; the load _flying_ overhead and crashing into the nearby mountain, as planned.

 

While the dragon and it's master were occupied Amaris _bolted_ , knowing she couldn't outrun an avalanche but still desperate to put distance between herself and the encroaching danger.

 

She heard the dragon _roar_ in outrage even as the snow caught up to her, rushing around her as she dove for a hole in a nearby platform and was instead swept away by the onslaught, hitting her head as she fell and blacking out even as freezing numbness began to surround her.

 

_I tried. I'm so sorry, Ayr, Solas... everyone..._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It had been three hours since she awoke, and Ayr wouldn't speak to him.

 

The congregation had only stopped when absolutely necessary, otherwise moving steadily until they'd made camp in a somewhat enclosed area just past the mountain range, where there was no wind or snow buffeting them.

 

Ayr had snapped from her unconscious state just as they'd started to make camp, shooting up from where Cullen had tucked her on a pile of blankets in a small tent and staring in confusion at her surroundings.

 

Then realisation had dawned on her face, expression _livid_ even as she pushed to her feet and got to work, not asking a single question or demanding any answers.

 

Ayr _knew_ what Amaris had done, remembered what had happened, and clearly she blamed Cullen as much as she blamed her cousin for being here, alive, while Amaris' fate was yet unknown.

 

And while part of Cullen wanted to be angry with her for her silent-treatment - she was alive and well thanks to the efforts of her cousin and himself, and it hadn't been _him_ that had forced her to sleep - he was all too familiar with survivors-guilt, and knew Ayr was likely beating herself up mentally, cursing and screaming inwardly while on the outside she seemed cold as ice.

 

So no, Cullen didn't blame her for her actions, and yet he found himself rather annoyed and preoccupied _because_ of it.

 

It wouldn't have bothered him as much, had it been _everyone_ she was ignoring, but no, it was just _him_. He'd caught her speaking quietly with Solas and Dorian, exchanging a few words with Varric, but the second she'd caught sight of Cullen, she'd pressed her lips together and walked away, not even wanting to be in his presence.

 

_You knew she was trouble, and it's not as though you're close, anyways. Let it go._

 

But for whatever reason, he _couldn't_. Cullen _couldn't_ just let her be, sulking and ignoring him and blaming him because, Maker help him, he _cared_.

 

He shouldn't have, but he did.

 

At _least_ she was making herself useful, and keeping her temper under check; pissed off she may be, Ayr was holding it in for the time being.

 

The first thing she'd done was light every fire and torch she'd come across, simple waves of her hands igniting whatever wood or material she was presented with instantly and effectively.

 

Then she'd helped with setting up tents, tending to the wounded, scouting around the camp... anything to keep herself occupied and her thoughts at bay, Cullen imagined.

 

He was, after all, doing much the same thing.

 

Finally, when everything was set up, every wounded made comfortable, every fire lit and tent pitched, he found her sitting near the central pit, staring into the flames with her hands clasped in front of her, lips pursed and eyes blank.

 

Cullen approached tentatively and, when she didn't immediately stalk away, took a seat on the next log over, not wanting to push his luck by sitting right next to her.

 

They sat in silence for a while, both staring at the fire, listening to it crackle and the voices of all the other survivors in the background.

 

Finally, fed up with the silence, Cullen cleared his throat, not sure _what_ to say but needing to say _something_ , "Ayr-"

 

The redhead went stiff suddenly, her head snapping up and her eyes darting into the distance, her whole body tense.

 

"Amaris?" she whispered, darting suddenly to her feet and taking off at a full run, Cullen hurrying to follow after her.

 

Cassandra caught sight of them, eyebrows lifting, "Cullen?"

 

"I don't know!" he shouted back, keeping the elf in his sight at all times as she dashed back towards the break in the mountain range they'd come through hours before, knowing the Seeker was now following as well.

 

Then, suddenly, he spotted something beyond the rocks, a shivering figure stumbling slowly through the snow.

 

" _Amaris_!" he heard Ayr cry even as he registered who it was, the redhead reaching her cousin just as she collapsed to her knees, hands glowing with fire magic as she gripped the blondes arms, trying to warm her.

 

"Thank the Maker!" he heard Cassandra mutter as she came up behind him, but all Cullen could focus on was the two elves, now hugging each other and muttering in their mother tongue, Ayr's hands glowing brilliant red as she did her best to warm Amaris up.

 

Someone approached with a blanket then, Ayr taking it and wrapping it around the shaking blonde before helping her to her feet, carefully leading her back towards the camp.

 

As he watched them, staying at a slight distance, Cullen thanked whatever Gods might be listening - the Maker, the Elvhen Gods, anyone - for the miracle that had been granted to them.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Amaris was completely out of her element when the Inquisition began to _sing_ , though it lifted her spirits and made her feel... _worthy_ , proud even, of what she had managed to accomplish.

 

Ayr had chewed her out the second she wasn't shivering anymore, though mostly the redhead had been an emotional mess seeing her cousins bruises and listening to her account of what had happened once they'd escaped Haven.

 

"Stop blaming Cullen." Amaris had chastised when Ayr admitted to avoiding him the entire time, "By Mythal, you two... he only did as I _asked_ him to, Ayr. I was the one who knocked you out, remember?"

 

"I know, I know, I was being childish, I'll apologize once they've stopped _arguing_." Ayr had sighed, shooting a pointed look to where the advisors and Cassandra stood bickering.

 

Which had led to a conversation with Mother Giselle... which had led to mother Giselle initiating a _song_ \- that apparently _everyone_ except she, Ayr and Solas knew - which had led to everyone in the camp calming down and actually speaking to each other _rationally_....

 

Which had somehow lead to Solas pulling her aside for 'a word', leaving Ayr to sit in the tent they'd been granted and listen to the advisors _talk_ \- now that they were no longer bickering - as she followed after the male elf, still wrapped in a blanket against the cold of the mountains.

 

Still, Amaris was glad for a few moments alone with Solas, since the last she'd seen him she'd been sure she never would again.

 

"I am glad you survived, lethallin. You had everyone worried; _especially_ Ayr."

 

"I'm stubborn like that." Amaris responded, Solas smirking briefly before going into the details he'd pulled her aside for; the origin of the orb, the reason for the explosion at the Conclave, and what they needed to do next.

 

His words would continue to ring through her mind in the days to come

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it. Changed _you_. Scout to the North, be their guide."

 

Following Solas' directions, Amaris lead the Inquisition forces across the mountains - through plateaus and over high cliffs, trodden paths and untouched landscapes, only stopping at night to make camp.

 

"There is a place that waits for a force to hold it." Solas told her one night, sitting at the fire with she and the others, though his words were only for her, "There is a place where the Inquisition can build... _grow_..."

 

Ayr and Solas were at her sides as she crested what seemed to be the highest cliff yet, the stones seeming almost _worn_ , as though they'd been travelled over before.

 

Ayr reached the top first, and Amaris looked up when her cousin's gasp hit her, her own eyes going wide and her mouth opening in surprise.

 

 There in the distance, perched atop the next mountain range, was a _fortress_ , with a long, defensible front bridge and battlements and defenses, looking weathered but solid.

 

"Skyhold." Solas answered the silent question, watching with an unreadable expression as first Amaris, then Ayr, began the descent down the side of the mountain towards the fortress, the rest of their people following slowly behind.

 

Now... was the time to rebuild.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It had been five days since their arrival at Skyhold. Before they were allowed to help or... do _anything_ really, Amaris and Ayr were told they needed to be checked by the Healer, as per the Commander.

 

"Amaris nearly _froze_ to death, and I _know_ Ayr's been favoring her left side for a reason." the Commander had apparently told the woman beforehand, _insisting_ that the cousins be checked out before doing anything else.

 

"Just _humor_ him, Ayr," Amaris had mumbled softly, lips quirked, "Besides, you _have_ been hiding a nasty bruise and you know it. Just let the woman look at it."

 

Ayr had grumped but relented, wincing when the healer prodded at the purple spot and gritting her teeth to keep from cursing her out as she applied a salve to the area.

 

"I believe your presence is required in the Courtyard now, Herald." the healer shooed the girls out of the room, seeming to hide a smile, "I have other, more grievously injured patients to look after; shoo."

 

"Funny how we were _commanded_ to see the healer and now we're being _shooed_." Ayr griped, though she quieted when they walked out of the infirmary to see the advisors and Cassandra speaking quietly not far away, looking serious but excited.

 

When she noticed them, Cassandra smiled and beckoned them over, the advisors giving them privacy as the cousins approached.

 

"They arrive daily from every settlement in the region," she began, motioning around them to the people who had begun to come to Skyhold in their wake, "Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage."

 

Cassandra backed up then, motioning for them to follow her as she made for the main stairs, "If word has reached these people, it will have reached The Elder One. We have the walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat is _far_ beyond the war we anticipated."

 

"But... we now _know_ what allowed you to stand against Corypheus. What _drew_ him to you."

 

"He came for _this_ ," Amaris murmured, lifting her left hand and showcasing the still-glowing mark, "And now it's useless to him, so he wants me dead. That's it."

 

 "The Anchor has power," Cassandra agreed, turning to continue up the stairs, "But it's not why you're still standing here."

 

"Your decisions let us heal the sky, your determination brought us out of Haven. You are the creatures rival because of what _you_ did," Cassandra enthused as they climbed the final flight, taking two at a time in her haste, "and we _know_ it. _All_ of us."

 

They crested the flight, and understanding dawned on Ayr suddenly as Leliana came into view, a sword with a hilt of the Inquisition held reverently in her hands.

 

Amaris seemed confused a moment longer before the Spymaster began to approach her, eyes widening as she realized what was going on.

 

"The Inquisition requires a _leader_ , the one who... has _already_ been leading it." Cassandra grinned, stepping back as Amaris stopped in front of Leliana, staring somewhat warily at the sword.

 

Ayr remained a few steps behind her cousin, trying not to grin like a fool.

 

Looking down, Amaris realized, suddenly, that _everyone_ was gathered in the courtyard below - soldiers and mages and Templars, cooks and servants and healers.

 

Cullen and Josephine stood at the head of the congregation, both smiling knowingly.

 

 They had _planned_ this.

 

"You." Cassandra clarified, seeing Amaris' startled look.

 

"I... don't think I heard you right." Amaris turned to the women, eyebrows lifted, "You want an _Elven mage_ at the head of the Inquisition?"

 

"We want _you_."

 

"I happen to _be_ an Elven mage."

 

"I will not pretend no one will object, but times are changing," Cassandra motioned to Leliana, who carried the sword closer, "Perhaps this is what the Maker intended."

 

"There would be no inquisition without _you_. How it will serve, how you lead; that must be yours to decide."

 

"And you won't be alone." Ayr mumbled behind her, nodding when Amaris turned towards her.

 

Taking a deep breath, Amaris reached forwards, grasping the swords hilt and lifting it, examining it closely, "With fear running rampant, they need to see a mage - Elven or not - standing for what is right. I'll defeat Corypheus standing _with_ them, not _over_ them."

 

"Wherever you lead us," Cassandra strode to the edge of the platform then, shouting down, "Have our people been told?!"

 

"They have!" Josephine called back, "And soon, the world!"

 

"Commander! Will they follow?"

 

Cullen smirked, turning to the people gathered and lifting his voice, "Inquisition! Will you follow?!"

 

A cheer broke out, rising above the crowd.

 

"Will you fight?!" Another cheer, louder this time as Cullen raised his arms.

 

"Will we _triumph_?!" the _loudest_ cheer followed that, Amaris turning to grin at her companions on the stairs.

 

Cullen drew his sword then, turning to motion up at Amaris, "Your leader! Your Herald! Your _Inquisitor!_ "

 

Amaris met the cheers by lifting her own sword high into the air, pointing it at the heavens and holding it there while the people celebrated, spirit lifted by their utter _belief_ in her.

 

Ayr only continued to grin as she watched her, proud of her cousin, glancing down at the crowds below and unintentionally meeting the Commanders eye. She looked away quickly, ears burning pink as she slunk back into the background, wondering what the hell was _wrong_ with her.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

"... and right then, I felt the whole world _change_."

 

"Felt the whole world change?" Amaris echoed, voice breathier then she'd ever managed before. Right here, right now, she felt _daring_ , and she wasn't about to let the moment pass.

 

"A figure of speech." Solas replied, though even _he_ seemed more on edge, more open, then usual.

 

"I'm _aware_ of the metaphor..." Amaris stepped closer, drawn in like a moth to flame, "I'm more interested in... _felt_."

 

"You change..." Solas' voice seemed hoarse, as though he were out of his element for the first time since they'd met, "... _everything_."

 

"Sweet talker." Amaris murmured, looking down briefly as she was overwhelmed by the urge to _kiss_ him, one that had lurked in the back of her mind for ages but now was at the forefront.

 

So she did. Reached out and gently turned his face towards her, closing the gap between them to press her lips against his as her eyes closed.

 

It was only for a few seconds - she pulled away as soon as she realized what she'd done, realized he _wasn't kissing her back_ -

 

Only for Solas to grab her arm and pull her back against him, arms tight around her waist as he claimed her mouth, kiss passionate and tinged with desperation and _want_.

 

He pulled back once, briefly, before kissing her again, a much shorter touch that ended up him releasing her and stepping away, Amaris watching him as though in a daze.

 

"We shouldn't..." he began, sounding reluctant, "It's not right. Not even _here_."

 

"What do you mean... even _here_?" Amaris argued, trying to recall her wits.

 

 _That_ got a grin out of him, lips tugging up at the sides, "Where did you think we _were_?"

 

Suddenly, Amaris was alert, looking around at the _perfectly intact_ Haven surrounding them, no sign of dragon fire or fighting present, remembering that before meeting Solas in the Rotunda, she had been going to _bed_ , "This isn't _real_."

 

"That's a matter of debate..." Solas was still grinning, though it seemed a touch sad, "Probably best discussed after you... _wake up_."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Amaris _jolted_ up in bed, chest heaving in surprise as she looked around at her surroundings, heart thumping wildly.

 

She was in her new rooms at Skyhold, already lavishly decorated and furnished by Josephine, and that... had been _inside the Fade_.

 

Noting the distinct lack of Ayr in the bed - since they were sharing again, as they had at Haven - and the position of the sun, Amaris grinned and practically _leapt_ out of bed, barely pausing to make herself presentable before dashing down the stairs and out into the hallway that lead to her rooms.

 

Amaris forced herself to _not_ dart across the main hall in her hurry to get to the Rotunda, not wanting to appear flighty in front of the allies gathered there.

 

Still, she certainly _felt_ like a lovesick teenager when she finally stepped into the space, Solas looking up from a book and giving her that soft grin he hid from everyone else.

 

"Sleep well?" he questioned softly, watching the Inquisitor as she crossed to stand next to the desk.

 

"I've never done anything like _that_ before," she admitted easily, eyes bright, "On a, ah, _number_ of levels."

 

Solas chuckled before looking back to the book, a slight solemnity crossing his face, "I apologize. The kiss was... _impulsive_ , and ill considered. And I should not have encouraged it."

 

"You _did_ kiss me back," Amaris murmured, spirits stifled slightly as she looked away, shifting uncomfortably, "If... I'm _pressuring_ you..."

 

"No." she heard him say, his hand closing gently around hers, "You are not. I am perhaps pressuring _myself_. It has... been a _long_ time. And things have always been _easier_ for me in the Fade. I am not certain this is the best idea; it could lead to trouble."

 

"I'm willing to take that chance," Amaris ventured, squeezing his hand in hers as she let her eyes trail back to him hopefully, "If... _you_ are?"

 

"I..." Solas seemed at a momentary loss before squeezing her hand once more and then releasing it to draw his own back, "... _may_ be, yes. If I could... take a little time to think. There are... _considerations._ "

 

"Take all the time you need." she answered honestly, lips pulling into the tiniest of smiles.

 

" _Thank you_." Solas seemed truly grateful, almost smiling himself, "I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams... but I am reasonably certain we are awake, _now_. And if there is anything you'd like to discuss, I would enjoy talking."

 

Taking it for the invite to stay that it was - and fighting down the giddy feeling in her chest - Amaris grinned, settling herself against the edge of the desk. "Tell me more about your journeys in the Fade."

 

 _Tomorrow_ , her heart whispered, _There is always tomorrow._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

"Commander, Soldiers have been set Temporary Quarters."

 

"Very good. I'll need an update on the armory as well-"

 

Cullen paused midsentence, gaze landing on the redheaded elf approaching slowly from beyond the informant.

 

To say he was surprised - and strangely pleased - would be an understatement. Ayr had avoided him since the disaster at Haven, spending time with Amaris or Dorian, helping to fix up the Keep.

 

And now here she was, looking hesitant but determined, staying a respectful distance back as she watched him work.

 

Cullen realized the soldier was still staring at him expectantly, barking out a rather harsh " _Now_!" before rolling his neck, sighing and rubbing at a pain as Ayr crossed the final distance and stood next to his makeshift desk.

 

"We set up as best we could at Haven..." he began, somehow always finding himself falling into talk of _work_ around her because, well... work was _simple_ , "We could never prepare for an arch demon... or whatever it was. With some warning, we might have..."

 

Ayr was giving him that _grin_ again, that look that said he was rambling. "Do you ever _sleep_?" she questioned, amusement clear in her tone.

 

Cullen brushed the question aside, bending to look as though he were inspecting his reports again, "If Corypheus strikes again, we may not be able to withdraw. We _must_ be ready-"

 

"Cullen." Ayr cut him off, voice soft, "I'm sorry."

 

And just like that, all pretenses of examining his work were lost, golden eyes focusing on the elf as he stood straight, confusion obvious, "Pardon?"

 

"I'm sorry. Gods, I swear all I do is piss you off and then apologize for it." Ayr looked away for a moment, running a hand through her hair and sighing, "I'm sorry for blaming you for taking me away from Haven. It was Amaris' decision, and, well... you probably saved my life."

 

"She knew you wouldn't retreat with the others." Cullen acknowledged, voice quiet, "Amaris didn't want you to stay just to die, Ayr."

 

"I know. I know that's why she did it. I just..."

 

Ayr was fidgeting, he noticed, and not looking him quite in the eye, her lower lip caught briefly between her teeth before she glanced at him, the sea-green of her eyes drawing him in as they always did.

 

"Thank you, Cullen. Our escape from Haven... it was _close_. To close." she was stumbling over words, rushing to get them out, "You _did_ save me, and so many others. I'm relieved... that _you_ -that _so many_ made it out."

 

"As am I." the Commander breathed, sure he'd misheard half of her rambling but, oddly, hoping he hadn't.

 

They fell into an awkward silence then, Ayr fiddling with the edge of her shirt - a new one to match Amaris', though the Inquisitors was blue while Ayr's was white - and Cullen staring at the ground, feeling awkward and out of his element.

 

"So, um... yup." Ayr tried to retreat then, flapping her hands a bit and turning away, "I'll just, uh..."

 

"You tried to stay behind." Cullen voiced his thoughts then, the one's he'd been having since Ayr's demand to remain with Amaris, stepping forwards so that when Ayr turned back to look at him, she was looking _up_ at him , within easy reach, "You could have..."

 

They were caught for a moment, staring at each other, but he lowered his voice and swore, "I will _not_ allow the events at Haven to happen again. You have my word, Ayr."

 

She stared at him for a moment, eyes wide beneath the lines of her Vallaslin, before she licked her lips, trying to smile. "I'll hold you to that, Commander." she murmured, and Cullen would have _sworn_ the tips of her ears were pink.

 

He didn't get the chance to investigate, however, or to steal any more of the redheads time.

 

A familiar voice calling "Ayr! You have to come see it!" broke whatever spell had been around them and they all but _sprung_ apart, not realizing how _close_ they'd been standing to one another.

 

"Everything alright, Amaris?" Ayr questioned her cousin, sneaking peaks at Cullen over the blondes shoulder.

 

"I found a library! It's not a huge one, but there's still lots of books. We just need to clean it up first!"

 

 _Now_ Ayr groaned, drawing a chuckle from the Commander, "Let me guess; _we_ means _you_ and _me_ , right?"

 

"No time like the present!" Amaris linked arms with her cousin then, nodding once to Cullen as she began to drag her away, "Excuse us, Commander."

 

"Of course, Inquisitor." Cullen only chuckled, though his eyes followed them up the stairs to the Keep, and gold met green when Ayr glanced back down at him at the top, her face flushing as she looked quickly away.

 

 _Makers breath._ he swore silently, staring for a while after the cousins had gone, _Am I in trouble._


	4. Spirits and Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Amaris and Solas make headway, Cullen manages to flirt, and Ayr manages to get sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back!
> 
> Not NEARLY as long this time, though still pretty long! I had more I wanted to add, but I thought where I ended it off here was good and am saving the rest for the next chapter.
> 
> Also FORGOT TO MENTION: the elven word Amaris used when she knocked Ayr out in the last chapter means 'Dream', according to the wiki. I wanted a word for 'sleep' but didn't see one, so dream was the next best option.
> 
> Also, hey! You get a lot more Solas x Amaris interaction in this one, so enjoy! I'm still trying to do a good balance, but writing them is easier now that they've admitted they like each other.
> 
> As usual; I do NOT have a beta! And while I do my best to read back and fix errors, I've likely missed some. Let me know if you catch anything really bad!
> 
> Enjoy!

Three weeks saw Skyhold's repairs progressing steadily and the Keep looking more and more like the fortress is was meant to be.

 

Inquisition banners hung from every parapet, heralded doorways and windows, decorated every possible surface; notices and plaques inlaid with the Inquisition's symbol present wherever you went in the Hold.

 

People continued to flock to Skyhold for safety, and to join the cause; they'd had many more recruits turn up, along with merchants and craftsmen and all sorts of others.

 

Amaris did her best to greet people as she was meant to, trying to make sure to stop when she noticed someone setting up a new shop or aiding a known ally with an old one.

 

One thing Amaris was not, however, was a people person. More often than not, she found herself craving solitude, slightly overwhelmed by how many people wanted her attention, _needed_ it, and needed it _now_.

 

Ayr helped, and Amaris was forever grateful her cousin had tracked her down at Haven. The redhead was almost constantly at her side, helping to field the incoming questions from familiar friends and unknown acquaintances alike.

 

Ayr could also read her better than anyone else - _except perhaps Solas, these days,_ \- and always _knew_ when Amaris was about to reach a breaking point in dealing with strangers and dignitaries, her social energy for the day expanded.

 

"I apologize, ser, but the Inquisitor has an important meeting to get to, and we must be off," Ayr had smoothly cut off the Orlesian Duke currently rambling about how unfair it was that his neighbour have more fences then him, given the rise of bandits, gently taking her cousin by the arm and giving the man a polite, formal bow, "She will attend to your complaints as soon as she is able, if you would be so kind as to leave them with one of Sister Leliana's Men."

 

The Duke - unable to respond but with a quick nod, as who was he to keep the Inquisitor from her duties? - left them be, Ayr keeping her grip on her cousins arm the entire way up the stairs and through the main hall, down through the second hall on the left and into the War Room.

 

The Advisors looked up as the two elves entered, Leliana unable to hide her amusement, "Playing bodyguard to our dear Inquisitor again, I see?"

 

Ayr snorted, releasing Amaris and stepping up to the table as had become usual, since she generally attended war councils alongside her cousin, "Yup, just give me a badge and call me 'Bodyguard Ayr'. Can you imagine? Let's _not_ start any more crazy rumors spreading."

 

"Who did you have to rescue her from _this_ time?" Josephine enquired, clearly trying not to laugh from behind her clipboard.

 

"Some Duke or other from Orlais. No real complaints that _we_ can even handle; his lands aren't fenced as well as his neighbors, so he gets more bandits."

 

"And...?" Cullen enquired, eyebrows lifted.

 

"That's it."

 

"That's _it_?"

 

"Yup."

 

"Let me get this straight..." Cullen had crossed his arms, attempting to look annoyed but obviously rather amused by the ridiculousness, "He came all the way here, to _Skyhold_ , just to _complain that his lands aren't fenced well enough?_ "

 

"You got it. Oh Leliana, you'll likely be getting a letter about it for Amaris," Ayr shrugged, lips twisting, "Sorry, I needed to get him off Amaris, and at least _pretending_ to care is better than blank-face telling him off."

 

"You are learning to play our Games well, my lady," Leliana praised, lips curled, "I will be sure to keep an eye and an ear out for it."

 

"Good grief." the Commander was scrubbing his hand over his eyes, muttering for a moment under his breath, "As if we don't have enough _real_ problems to deal with, without nobles thinking _everything_ is something the Inquisition can fix."

 

"You _may_ want to avoid the Courtyard for a while, Commander," Ayr commented offhand, examining her nails, "I heard some rather _raunchy_ gossip amongst the latest group of Orlesian noble _ladies_. Creators, those Orlesian's have no _shame_..."

 

"What?" Cullen's eyes were on the redhead then, gold flaming as he stared, "What did you hear?"

 

"Oh _hell_ no, I am not repeating _that_ gossip. Forget it." Ayr's cheeks were tinted suddenly, Amaris noticed, though the light was so dim in the war room she doubted anyone else caught it, "There _was_ murmurs of them trying to corner you at the Winter Palace during the upcoming Masquerade for a dance or... _more_. When _are_ the Peace Talks, anyways?" she had turned her attention to Josephine then, though Amaris didn't know if it was from actual interest or if she needed to look away from Cullen's intense stare.

 

"Not for a while yet. I am still working on getting us invited to the Masquerade." Josephine's smile was knowing, which meant Amaris _wasn't_ imagining her cousins actions, "We have time to prepare, for the moment. You have both been doing so much, clearing so many Rifts and problems in both Ferelden and Orlais. Do not worry; we will be on the list, when the time comes."

 

"I am _not_ going to that ball, if all I'm going to be doing is hiding away from the randy women of Orlais." Cullen muttered, sighing, "Besides, I don't dance. It would be pointless."

 

"You kind of _have_ to go, Cullen; you're the _Commander of the Inquisition_." Ayr pointed out, green eyes glittering, "You can't disappoint your _adoring fans_ who are, without a doubt, _dying_ to see you at the ball."

 

"Just so a bunch of noblewoman can throw themselves at me? Sounds like a night I would rather pass on. Let them _imagine_ me in formal wear if they must."

 

"Or _out_ of it." as soon as Ayr said the words she clapped a hand to her mouth, expression warring between amusement and shock as _horror_ dawned on Cullen's face, "Oops, wasn't going to repeat that."

 

"They _what_ -?!"

 

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger! This is why I didn't want to _say_ it-!"

 

Ayr didn't _flirt_ with anyone anymore, Amaris had noticed maybe a week before, the thought returning suddenly. Well, okay, she still flirted with _Dorian_ , but as she knew from both Ayr's subtle hints and the man himself, there was nothing more than close camaraderie and friendship there.

 

Now, as she watched her cousin and the Commander snark at each other over the War Table, Cullen growing more shocked and red in the face while Ayr was laughing and _definitely_ pink in the ear, she realized _why_.

 

_And Ayr either hasn't realized how she feels or she's hiding it because she doesn't want to be hurt._ Amaris' lips curled in amusement, blue eyes taking on a slightly wicked glint, _Perhaps a shove or two is needed, in the days to come._

 

She caught Leliana's eye across the table and, seeing she wore the _same_ knowing expression, nodded, glad to have an ally in this little 'secret'.

 

"Commander." Amaris spoke up then, using her 'Inquisitor Voice' - louder then she normally spoke, more commanding and authoritative, better at gaining attention, "How are the workers progressing on the sealed tunnel in the Exalted Plains? Have they made any headway?"

 

"They have, your worship," Cullen seemed glad to return his focus to work, though Amaris noticed his eyes darting back to Ayr every so often, "We received notice that the workers cleared it just yesterday, in fact. They weren't able to get a good look inside the Grove - beasts guarding the area, as might be expected - but one Elven worker mentioned seeing statues that bore Halla, and some Elvhen writing. They thought perhaps it was a Grove dedicated to Ghilan'nain."

 

"It would make sense that there was a hidden place for the Elvhen." Amaris nodded, thinking back on the history she knew of the region and wondering if Solas - well versed in Elvhen history and lore as he was - might know more about it, "We should make that our next destination then, I think. Can you begin preparations for our departure, Commander?"

 

"Of course, Inquisitor. I'll send word to Master Dennet to prepare your mounts immediately"

 

"Excellent, thank you. Ayr, I'll meet you at the Gates in about half an hour."

 

"Will do, Amaris," Ayr nodded to her cousin and then to the advisors, eyes lingering noticeably longer on Cullen as she did so, "Excuse me."

 

Amaris waited until her cousin was gone to bid her own farewells, retreating with a soft "I leave Skyhold in your hands."

 

"Safe journeys, your worship," Josephine responded, the others echoing the sentiment as she left the room.

 

The weight that always settled on her shoulders while in the War Room dissipated the second the door closed behind her, leaving a definite spring to her step as she strode back down the hallway and into the main hall, crossing diagonally to the door that was all too familiar.

 

Amaris paused to greet Varric on the way, giving him a heads up, "We leave in about half an hour, Varric; we're headed back to the Exalted Plains tonight."

 

"They get that tunnel opened up?" the dwarf guessed, standing from the table and rolling his shoulders in preparation.

 

"Yes, and we want to check it out as soon as we can. _Preferably_ before dark, as there are beasts awaiting us."

 

"Aren't there always?"

 

That made her grin, "Would you mind letting Cassandra know for me? I need to speak to Solas regarding statues in the Grove, and I'd send Ayr if I could, but..."

 

"But Firecrackers already off getting ready and probably grabbing Dorian." Varric sighed dramatically, though he was grinning the entire time, "Alright, I'll grab the Seeker. Just don't expect her to be in a good mood when you meet up with us."

 

"It'll be fine, Varric. I'll see you soon."

 

The two parted ways with Varric heading out the front entrance and Amaris opening the door to the Rotunda, letting it swing closed behind her as she entered the familiar room.

 

When she wasn't in the War Room or out on missions or entertaining visitors with Ayr, Amaris was with Solas. Though the kiss had not been mentioned in the time since, there was a different connection between them now, something deeper and more familiar.

 

Amaris had been sincere in her offer of giving him more time; she would wait as long as he needed.

 

In the mean time, she was content to spend time with him, talking about everything and anything, from what had happened on a mission the day before to memories he had witnessed in the Fade of days long past.

 

Normally, Solas' expression lit up when she came into sight; just the tiniest change in his eyes, the tilt of his mouth, that gave away his pleasure in her company.

 

Today, however, she found him sitting rather stiffly at his desk, watching as he sipped at a mug only to grimace and swallow reluctantly, quickly setting the cup back down.

 

Then he picked it up again and peered into it, as though looking for answers in the murky liquid.

 

"Something wrong with your tea?" Amaris couldn't help teasing, settling on the edge of his desk as she always did, the space now automatically left bare for her to sit.

 

"It is tea. I detest the stuff." Solas grimaced bitterly at the cup again before placing it back in its saucer, stormy gaze rising to meet her own crystal blue, "But this morning, I need to shake the dreams from my mind. I... may also need a favor."

 

To say Amaris was incredibly pleased by this was an understatement. Solas had never asked her for _anything_ but time; she took his hand gently, lacing her fingers with his much longer ones, "You just have to ask, Solas." If the trip to the Exalted Plains had to wait, so be it.

 

Though he returned the grip on her hand momentarily, Solas disentangled their hands after a moment and stood, pacing as though anxious, "One of my oldest friends has been captured by mages. Forced into slavery! I heard the cry for help as I slept."

 

"I'd be happy to help," Amaris stood as well, following his movements but remaining a foot or so away so as not to crowd him, "What did these mages use to capture your friend? Blood magic?"

 

"A summoning circle, I would imagine."

 

Amaris paused, lips pursed. She'd known he was friends with spirits, but... "I'm sorry?"

 

Solas scowled, forcing himself to still his pacing so he could face her. "My friend is a spirit of Wisdom. Unlike the spirits clambering to enter out world through the Rifts, it was dealing quite happily in the Fade. It was summoned against its will, and wants my help in regaining its freedom and returning to the Fade."

 

"Do you have any idea what the mages _want_ with your friend?" Amaris couldn't help asking, honestly curious.

 

A spark of appreciation lit in Solas' eyes, "No. It knows a great deal of lore and history, but a mage could learn that simply by speaking to it in the Fade! It _is_ possible they seek information it does not wish to give... and intend to torture it..."

 

"I take it your friend is one of the Spirits who did _not_ wish to come to our world?"

 

Solas shook his head, "No, it never wanted to come here. You remember I told you, Wisdom spirits are far too often corrupted into Pride Demons when summoned to our world? I fear that is what may happen if the mages are left to do as they like with my friend."

 

"Alright," Amaris stepped forwards, reaching to clasp his hand again - sensing, somehow, that he needed a grounding touch - "Let's go get your friend."

 

" _Thank you._ " Solas gripped her hand tightly this time, utter relief and appreciation crossing his face, "I got a sense of my friends location before I awoke. It is in the Exalted Plains, not far from the boundaries we explored the last time. I'll mark it on our map before we head out."

 

"It seems we are meant to go to the Exalted Plains." Amaris murmured, noting his questioning look even as she enjoyed the feel of their clasped hands, "I was coming to get you to head there for another reason, a Grove that's been uncovered with statues to Ghilan'nain."

 

"Then we shall have to look into that, as well," Solas lifted their hands and brushed his lips over her knuckles, lips curling against her skin when she flushed red, "Give me a moment to gather my things and we can be off."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"A word, my dear, if I may?"

 

Ayr turned at the beckoning, eyebrows lifting as Vivienne gestured to her from the doorway. The redhead shot Dorian a look and shrugged, approaching the older mage.

 

"Yes, Lady Vivienne?"

 

"I heard word that you are journeying back into the Exalted Plains with our dear Inquisitor today, Ayr."

 

"We are, yes. A new Grove was discovered."

 

"I'd heard as much, yes, and I'd hoped to ask a favor."

 

Ayr's eyebrows lifted, though she remained polite and kept her face neutral, "Which is...?"

 

"In the Exalted Plains, there is a beast called a Snowy Wyvern." Vivienne folded her hands before her, looking both commanding and pleading, "I require its heart for a potion the Court has requested me to concoct. I sent chevaliers to slay the beast, but they were killed in the civil war."

 

"And you think I can handle it because...?"

 

" _Please_ , my dear, I am beginning to think there is _nothing_ you and your cousin cannot handle, once your minds are set to it. But more than that, this matter is rather... _time sensitive_ , and as you are headed to that area anyways, I thought it imperative that I request this of you."

 

"Alright. Do you know _where_ this... Snowy Wyvern is? The Exalted Plains are a _big_ place."

 

"It is in an area I believe to be called the Crow Fens, a rather swampy expanse if tales are correct. It should be just past this new Grove you've opened up, and rather easy to locate." Vivienne paused, and Ayr saw a look of almost _desperation_ cross through the woman's eyes before it was gone, "I would... very much appreciate the aid, my dear."

 

"I'll do my best." Ayr responded, a creeping suspicion that this potion was much more _personal_ then Vivienne was admitting rising in her mind, "I'm not sure how quickly we'll be returning, but I'll see if I can find this Snowy Wyvern."

 

" _Thank you_ , Ayr. You have my _deepest_ gratitude's."

 

"What was all _that_ about?" Dorian prodded once Vivienne had returned to her balcony and Ayr had come back over, the Tevinter mage clearly ready to go.

 

"Know anything about Snowy Wyverns?" Ayr questioned, leading the way down the stairs and out through the Rotunda - empty, which meant Solas and Amaris were ahead of them - and into the main hall.

 

"Only that they're _nasty_ beasts, rather more vicious then the normal ones." Dorian was side eyeing her as they headed outside and down the main stairs, "Why, are we hunting one today, dear heart?"

 

"Apparently." Ayr checked her staff as they crossed the upper courtyard and headed for the lower steps, spotting the others already at the Gates, "Vivienne asked if I could get her the heart of the beast. Needs it for a potion or something."

 

"Did she say what _kind_ of potion?"

 

"No. But she seemed kind of... _desperate_. And that's _strange_ , for Vivienne."

 

"Strange, indeed, but let's be _careful_ hunting this beast, alright? I should rather not have you _injured_ in attempting a noble deed for Madame de Fer."

 

Ayr rolled her eyes, smirking as they approached the rest of the company, "I'll do my best." she turned then, calling to Amaris, "Amaris! We have _another_ task to complete on our journey this time!"

 

"Make that _three_ quests!" Amaris called back, already mounted on her Ferelden Elk with Solas at her side on a regular Charger, "But let's _get_ to the Plains first, shall we?"

 

"Sounds like a plan!"

 

Ayr headed for her own mount - a Red Hart that was _notorious_ for biting anyone that tried to handle it asides from herself - and was surprised to find it standing quite docilely beside _Cullen_ , the Commander holding the beasts reins and patting it gently on the snout.

 

"She hasn't tried to _bite_ you?" Ayr couldn't help enquiring, lips twitching in shock and amusement, "It's a _miracle_."

 

Cullen chuckled, the warmth of the sound making her heart flip strangely, "Master Dennet had his hands full with the other mounts, and your beast here _is_ rather testy with him. I offered to help; so far, she's kept her teeth to herself."

 

"That makes you and me the only people she doesn't hate on sight, then." Ayr swung herself up onto the Hart with a practiced motion, settling into the saddle and taking the reins from the Commander, "Congratulations, Commander. She _likes_ you."

 

"Now if only her _rider_ was so easily handled," Cullen smirked up at her, the comment catching her off guard and making her flush, "Redheads are _nothing_ but trouble, I suppose."

 

"You... you..." stumbling and blushing and _completely_ off her game, Ayr tore her gaze away and cleared her throat loudly, sticking her chin in the air and ignoring his chuckle below her.

 

"Let's move out!" Amaris saved her from the awkward situation, spurring her Elk into motion at the head of the group and signaling the others to follow, trotting easily through the Gates.

 

"See you in a few days." Ayr heard Cullen mumble at her side, stepping away from the Hart, "Safe Journeys."

 

He'd turned around by the time she looked at him, green eyes boring into the back of his head, trying to figure out _what_ was going on in his mind.

 

Then Ayr spurred her Hart into motion and followed after the others, telling her heart to _calm down_ and rationing that _it's not important, he's teasing you, don't dwell on it._

 

But, oh, how she _wished_ it meant _something_.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

It was the next morning when they set off to find and free Solas' spirit friend from the mages, the party rested and ready for whatever fights they might face.

 

Getting to the Exalted Plains - and clearing the Grove of Ghilan'nain of hostile gurguts especially - had taken the entire day, ending with them finishing the camp setup after darkness had fallen.

 

"We will set off first thing in the morning." Amaris had promised Solas, knowing and seeing how worried and anxious he was, "We will be little to no help in darkness, and could fall to unexpected predators instead."

 

"You are right, of course." he had acquired, and they had all retired for the night, surrounded by the ancient Elvhen statues and walls of rock that guarded the Grove.

 

Now, as promised, they had awoken at first light, prepped and set off, heading off in the direction of Solas' marking on the map.

 

It was Amaris, Solas, Cassandra, Varric, Ayr and Dorian; a rather larger group than usual, but given the severity of the task - and the _other_ task they had to complete, afterwards - it was a welcome group.

 

"We can hunt the Wyvern afterwards." Ayr had brushed off her cousins concerns, "It's not as important."

 

"Didn't you say Vivienne said it was _time sensitive_?" Dorian questioned from her side.

 

"Yes, but somehow I think freeing a captive and possibly _tortured_ spirit is a bit more important."

 

Solas clearly approved of her cousins logic, though he kept silent and vigil at Amaris' side, leading them further into the Plains.

 

As they drew close to the marking on the map, magical energy seemed to permeate the air, making both Amaris and Ayr wince at the taste of it on their tongues.

 

They rounded a small hill top and Solas jolted to a stop, a startled breath leaving him, "My _friend_!"

 

Coming around the bend Amaris stared, wary of the magical pillars forming a barrier just ahead of them, keeping in what looked like a _Pride demon_.

 

Even as he made an angry noise, Amaris turned to him, wanting to be sure she was right, "Solas, you said your friend was a _Wisdom Spirit_. Has it been...?"

 

"That is not it's natural form!" his voice was laced with anger, but it wasn't directed at her, a slight nod indicating her assumption was correct, "It's been corrupted!"

 

"Corrupted?"

 

"Forced to act against its original purpose!" Solas was on the verge of raging, covering his eyes for a moment as he muttered _What did they do_?! over and over.

 

The crunch of grass to her right made their attention snap to the mage slowly approaching them, looking weary and hopeful.

 

"Perhaps we should _ask_." Solas bit out, hands clenching angrily.

 

"A _mage_!" the other man breathed, sounding far to hopeful, "You're not with the bandits? Do you have any Lyrium potions? Most of us are exhausted, we've been fighting that _demon_!"

 

"You _summoned_ that demon!" Solas growled, "Except it was a spirit of Wisdom at the time! You made it _kill_! You _twisted_ it against its purpose!"

 

"I-I-I understand how it might be confusing to someone who has not studied demons!" the mage tried to persuade, looking incredibly less comfortable then a moment before, "After you _help_ us, we-"

 

"We are _not_ here to _help you_!"

 

"Word of advice," Amaris cut in, using her Inquisitor's voice, "I'd hold off on explaining how demons work to my friend here. He knows a _lot_ more then you."

 

" _Listen_ to me-"

 

" _Shut. Up._ " Solas was all but snarling, his usual patience worn thin, "You summoned it to protect you from the bandits!"

 

"I.... yes."

 

"You _bound_ it to obedience, then commanded it to _kill_! _That_ is when it turned!" Solas turned his attention to Amaris, blocking out whatever the other man might have said, "The summoning circle! We break it, we break the binding! No orders to kill, no conflict with its nature, no _demon_!"

 

"What?! The binding is the only thing keeping the demon from killing us! Whatever it was before, it is a _monster_ now!"

 

"Inquisitor, _please_!" Solas was pleading now, _begging_ despite being angry, and Amaris knew that even if she wanted to, she couldn't deny him anything.

 

"I'll do _everything_ I can to save your friend, Solas." she promised.

 

" _Thank you_."

 

The demon _roaring_ shook the ground suddenly, desperation crossing Solas' face as he darted forwards, "We _must_ hurry!"

 

"Ayr, Dorian! Focus on the pillars, we need to take them down!" Amaris was shouting orders even as she followed after him, determined, "Cassandra, Varric, _distract_ it, but don't _kill_ it!"

 

"Got it!"

 

"Yes, Inquisitor!"

 

"Oh boy..."

 

The Pillars - four of them in total - looked much stronger than they were. Solas and Amaris took down the first one before the others even caught up, both diving out of the way when the demon immediately lashed out with lightning blasts.

 

The others listened to orders well; Dorian and Ayr focused on the pillar opposite of them, Cassandra dodging in close to draw the demons attention while Varric shot from a distance, keeping it busy.

 

The _moment_ the last pillar exploded into a barrage of shards and magic, the demon disappeared, replaced by a humanoid form that slumped immediately to the ground, skin green and eyes glowing sockets.

 

Solas ran immediately to the spirits side, dropping down to his haunches in front of it, face both relieved and distressed.

 

_"I'm sorry."_ Amaris heard him mumble in Elven as she approached, staying only close enough to listen but far enough that she was not intruding.

 

_"I'm not."_ the spirit responded, also in Elven, _"I'm happy. I'm me again."_

The Spirit looked down for a moment, continuing, _"You helped me. Now you must endure. Guide me into death."_

Solas looked away, closing his eyes and frowning, clearly disturbed by the thought. Then he looked up, responding quietly with _"As you say."_ He motioned carefully with his hands, the Spirit disappearing after a moment, "Dareth Shiral."

 

"I heard what it said." Amaris murmured behind him, sadness coating the words, "It was right. You _did_ help it."

 

"Now... I must endure."

 

"Let me know if I can help."

 

Solas hesitated a moment, then stood and turned, approaching her with a much freer expression then moments before. "You already have." he breathed, expression morphing back into rage as the crunch of grass approached, "Now all that remains is _them_."

 

"Thank you," the lead mage spoke, and Amaris mentally wished for him to stop, every word only stoking Solas' anger further, "We would not have attempted the summoning, but the roads are too dangerous..."

 

" _You_ ," Solas' voice was dangerous as he _stalked_ towards the group, the mages retreating before him, " _Tortured_ and _killed_ my friend!"

 

"We did not _know_ it was just a spirit, the book said-!"

 

Despite knowing his intentions and that she should stop him - if only because she represented the Inquisition, and they should _not_ be handing out executions on their own whims - Amaris could only watch, barely flinching when the man she felt far too deeply for took the mages out with little effort.

 

She heard the others murmuring behind them, but couldn't bring herself to care, to focused on the grieving, angry man in front of her.

 

"Damn them all!" Solas cursed, his back still turned towards her, "I... need some time alone. I will meet you back at Skyhold."

 

He was gone before she could say a word, striding away into the landscape of the plains and seeming to disappear, likely using magic to conceal himself as he was apt to.

 

"Amaris."

 

Ayr was at her side then, looking concerned, and Amaris realized she'd been staring after him for several moments, rather lost in the moment.

 

"I'm fine." she assured the younger woman, trying to smile and knowing it came out terribly, "Solas... needed some time. He said he would meet us at Skyhold."

 

"Okay." Ayr hesitated for a moment, staring at the bodies of the mages before her eyes lifted to her cousins again, "Are you... still up for that other task? Hunting down that Snowy Wyvern for Vivienne?"

 

"Yes, we should complete it before we head back to Skyhold ourselves. You said it should be fairly near to the Grove; let's head there now."

 

Ayr nodded, turning to head back to the others and let them know the plan as Amaris paused to look at the broke summoning circle again, heart heavy.

 

Then she followed after her cousin, hoping Solas would be at Skyhold when they returned.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_"Now if only her rider was so easily handled. Redheads are nothing but trouble, I suppose."_

_Why did I **say** that?!_

 

Cullen stared down at the reports on his desk and saw only blurred lines and ink stains, hands braced against the wood as his own words - foolish, hasty words slipping from his mouth before he could stop them - and Ayr's face flashed through his mind, startled and off-guard and _blushing_ red as she stared at him.

 

He didn't know where the words had come from, what sudden _confidence_ had forced them through the usual tight-filter of his brain. Only that their banter in the War Room before she'd departed had sparked _something_ , and he'd been unable to let her leave without a parting remark or two.

 

_And what a parting remark indeed. What were you **thinking** , Cullen? Ayr is... well, you're just..._

 

Just _what_? That was the question that had been plaguing him since he'd _said_ the damn words, creeping into his nightmares as he slept and circling his mind as he worked.

 

Because really, Cullen didn't know _what_ they were. More than acquaintances, certainly, but could he even class their relationship as _friends_?

 

Comrades? Coworkers? Some strange mixture of friends and enemies, given how often they snarked and bickered?

 

But then her face would flash in his mind again - smiling, back when he'd denied giving her a lecture, worried when Amaris had not been herself, blushing and flustered when he'd somehow _flirted_ with her the day before - and another label wanted to emerge, one he refused to focus on and he continued to shove away.

 

_It wouldn't work, regardless,_ he tried to convince himself, still refusing to let _that word_ come forward, _She's a mage. She couldn't l... couldn't **care for** a Templar, even an ex-Templar._

 

Mood incredibly soured, Cullen was ready to give up completely on any pretense of working and go and find either Blackwall or The Iron Bull for a spar - both men were good for it, but Bull was a much _rougher_ opponent - when the bells that signaled the Inquisitors return went off, singing through his office.

 

Just like that, his mood improved, if only because it meant the party had returned in one piece - if there had been any serious injuries or, Maker forbid, casualties, they would have send a Raven ahead with a warning.

 

Still, he did his best to _not_ appear to be in a hurry as he left his office and headed for the main stairs that lead down, trying to catch a glimpse of the party but knowing they were likely not inside the Gates yet.

 

The group made it inside the Gates just as Cullen was descending the lower steps into the lower courtyard, all seeming rather weary and worn out as they gathered in a circle, the sun just beginning its descent beyond them.

 

Amaris dismounted and approached him, mouth set in a somewhat grim line and armor looking rather _charred_ once she was closer, "Has Solas returned?"

 

"Solas?" Cullen scowled, noticing, now, the rider less charger being led by Cassandra, "No, I did not realize he was not still with you."

 

"There was... an incident. He said he would return to Skyhold on his own." Amaris blew out a breath, "I'm sure he's fine, he's just... taking his time, is all."

 

"Ayr, dear, are you _sure_ you're alright? You don't _look_ good."

 

"I-I'm _fine_ , Dorian. Stop... _fussing_."

 

"You are _not_ fine and you know it."

 

Cullen's attention snapped from the blonde when he caught the strains of conversation, gaze _immediately_ seeking out the redheaded elf.

 

He found her just as she slid - rather ungracefully, and much slower than usual - from the saddle and stood _clutching_ the reins of her Hart, practically leaning against the beast for support.

 

Dorian stood nearby, looking worried and ready to _catch_ her, both rather dishevelled.

 

_Actually_ , Cullen looked around at them all then, noticing they _all_ had scorch marks on their armor and looked incredibly _tired_. "What happened?" he demanded, knowing it couldn't be good.

 

"Dragon." Amaris sighed, the Commander's heart clenching.

 

" _Dragon_?" he repeated, "You fought a _dragon_? _Where_?"

 

"The Exalted Plains, just beyond Ghilan'nain's Grove." Amaris ran a hand through her hair then, wincing, "We were hunting a Snowy Wyvern for Vivienne - which we did _find_ a kill - but then we stumbled into the dragons lair and, well..."

 

"Ayr took the brunt of it." Cassandra informed him, stepping up behind the Inquisitor with her arms crossed, "Her magic did the most damage to the beast."

 

"Oh, _yes_ , let's send the _fire mage_ to fight the _dragon_!" Ayr shouted from where she still stood leaning against her Hart, voice a tad higher than usual, "They can just throw _fireballs_ back and forth at each other and hope one of them eventually gets _singed_!"

 

"She's being _dramatic_." Dorian tried to joke, though he was still watching the redhead carefully, "This dragon actually breathed _lightning_ , so fire magic was _incredibly_ potent against it-"

 

"Why didn't you just retreat?!" Cullen understood - really he did - that taking down a Dragon was impressive, that yes they had the numbers and the strength. But Makers _breath_ , if they _hadn't_ made it-

 

"We _tried_." Amaris was keeping her eyes on Ayr as well now, he noticed, clearly worried, "But that area is a mix of dry spots and water, and it kept _electrifying_ the water; it was either kill the dragon or die, either by the beast or electrocution."

 

"So we killed it!" Dorian smiled - a rather grim expression, strangely, "But it, uh, took a lot _out_ of our dear fire mage, here. We were rather desperate, so..."

 

Cullen's gaze fell on Amaris, who met his eyes and explained, "We were _exhausted_ , Cullen, all of us. And Ayr _knew_ her magic was doing the most damage, so... she took Lyrium potions."

 

" _Lots_ of Lyrium potions." Dorian added.

 

Despite his own troubled history with the substance - and his currently _secret_ refusal to take it - Cullen was confused. "Don't mages often use Lyrium potions to temporarily strengthen their magic?"

 

"Yes... but only in small doses. You're only supposed to take a maximum of _three_ in a short amount of time, and that's only in extreme cases. And Ayr _never_ uses Lyrium potions; she always keeps one on hand in case of emergency, but her magic is usually strong enough without them." Amaris was biting her lip, a habit the cousins seemed to share, "Fighting the dragon... I think she took _five-_ "

 

" _Eight!_ " Ayr corrected in an almost shriek, voice lowering to mumble, "Fucking dragon wouldn't _die_..."

 

"It's partially my fault." Dorian stepped forwards slightly - _just_ slightly - looking rather annoyed, "I didn't think anything of it when she shouted for more potions - I was too busy trying not to get _electrocuted_ to keep track, I suppose, but still-"

 

" _AYR!_ "

 

The men both _spun_ towards the redhead at Amaris' shout, landing on Ayr as she attempted to take a step towards them and _crumpled_ to her knees, one hand shooting out to catch herself against the crowd while the other clapped over her mouth, as though about to be sick.

 

Cullen didn't even hesitate, striding forwards without a second thought as she shifted, both arms wrapping around herself as her head bent forwards so her hair was hiding her face, entire form seeming to _shake_.

 

" _Ayr_." he bent beside her but hesitated in touching her, not wanting to startle her or make things worse, " _Look at me_."

 

"C-cullen..." Ayr twisted her head just enough for him to see her face - pale and pasty, pupils mere pinpricks in to-wide green eyes, teeth chattering as she tried to speak, "C-cold..."

 

That did it; the Commander swept her into his arms and took off at a near run for the Healers chambers, startled by how badly she was shaking and the utter _weakness_ radiating from her.

 

"A-Amaris... g-give V-Vivienne..."

 

" _Hush_ , Ayr, I will." Amaris - jogging beside him until they reached the Healers - swore, nodding to him at the threshold, "I... don't want to crowd her too much. Let me know...?"

 

Cullen merely nodded, arms still tight around the shivering woman he carried, "I'll let you know as soon as I can."

 

Amaris nodded and - giving her cousin a quick, affection peck on the forehead - left to give Vivienne whatever it was Ayr had mentioned, the others trailing after her. Dorian came to hover next to the healers door, leaning against the building and crossing his arms.

 

" _Do_ let me know what they say." he requested.

 

Cullen stepped into the hut without a word, glad to see that the only person inside was Skyhold's chief Healer - a mage whose name he now regretted not learning.

 

Thankfully, she noticed them immediately, eyes pinned on Ayr as she approached with a grim look, "What's happened?"

 

"Lyrium overdose." Cullen explained, the woman's eyes going wide.

 

" _Raw_ Lyrium-?"

 

"Lyrium _potion_ overdose." he amended, following her when she beckoned him further into the building, "She took eight in quick succession while fighting a dragon. The Inquisitor said she _never_ takes the potions."

 

"Then she's just having an adverse reaction to the unfamiliar substance. _Good_ ," the healer seemed somewhat relieved, though still troubled, "Had it been _raw_ Lyrium, I'd have been letting you know how _long_ she had left."

 

_That_ thought made Cullen's heart clench and his arms unconsciously tighten around Ayr, who made a little noise and actually curled _closer_ to him.

 

"W-warm..." she mumbled, and he wondered if she was even aware of things in her current state.

 

"Sit her down here, please. I need to check if she has a temperature."

 

Cullen did as asked, fighting back a smile when Ayr protested being put down and whined quietly, though she made no other movements and simply continued to shiver once she was sitting on the bed.

 

He stepped back as the mage came to bend in front of her, placing a hand to her forehead and frowning, her other hand drifting over other parts of the elf's body.

 

The healer mumbled some words under her breath, Ayr responding as best she could, still stuttering and stumbling over words.

 

The other woman shook her head and lifted both hands, casting magic over the redhead sitting back to watch it work.

 

With a moment, a bit of colour had returned to Ayr's skin, her eyes no longer pin-pricked and her shivering dying down to an occasional tremble.

 

"You'll be fine, child. But no more Lyrium potions, at least for a while."

 

"N-no shit." Ayr snorted, Cullen glad to hear some of her usual fire in the words.

 

"And I want you on bed rest for at least two days."

 

"F-fine..."

 

"And you are not to leave Skyhold for _two weeks_ , no exceptions."

 

"What!?" the word was a somewhat indignant huff, Ayrs shoulders bunching, "But-"

 

" _No buts._ Do _not_ make me bring the Inquisitor into this, Lady Ayr," the healer crossed her arms as she stood, looking cross, "Your _shoulder_ hasn't even healed completely yet, you _should_ be resting."

 

Ayr winced guiltily, Cullen's gaze turning sharply back to the elf.

 

"Your shoulder?" he questioned, remembering his thoughts back when they'd first reached Skyhold, that Ayr had been favoring one side of the other.

 

"T-the day Haven... F-flissa was trapped in the t-tavern." Ayr was looking down, but he could tell she wasn't ashamed of her actions, "C-couldn't... get the _door_ open... h-had to _ram_ it... a life saved i-is _worth_ a battered shoulder."

 

The Commander's admiration for the redhead rose another notch at the words, though he kept himself in check, golden eyes going to the healer. "So she'll be alright?"

 

"She'll be _fine_ , if she _listens_ to me and does as told. Bed rest for two days, grounded in Skyhold for two weeks. Simple enough instructions, I think."

 

"Yes, ma'am." Ayr mumbled grumpily, "Can I g-go now?"

 

"Yes, Lady Ayr, though I don't know that you can make it to your quarters on your own right now. You're still rather shaky."

 

Ayr seemed to hesitate for a moment before glancing at him, biting her lip. "Commander, would you mind...?"

 

The words were soft, but he caught the meaning, stepping forwards to pick her up again, though this time was made _slightly_ more awkward by the fact that she was _alert_ and that the healer was watching them _very intently_.

 

Ayr kept her arms folded as he lifted her against his chest, her eyes rooted firmly on her hands.

 

Cullen nodded to the healer, "Thank you for your help."

 

"Not at all Commander. Do see she follows the instructions, will you?"

 

"Of course."

 

He exited the hut and met with Dorian - still waiting beside the door - who moved to keep pace with him, headed for the stairs and doing his best to ignore the whispers he _knew_ were sprouting around them.

 

"So... you're alright then, Ayr? Nothing to worry about?"

 

"She's on bed rest for two days and grounded to Skyhold for two weeks." Cullen answered for her, drawing an annoyed noise from Ayr.

 

"That is going to _kill_ you, dear heart. At least there is a library?"

 

"I h-hate you guys." was all Ayr mumbled in response, drawing quiet chuckles from the men.

 

"I shall leave you to deliver our dear firecracker to her nest then, good Commander," Dorian broke off as they entered the main hall, jerking his head towards the tables laden with food, "I'm rather hungry, you see, and don't want to _crowd_ besides. Ayr, do let me know when you need a distraction?"

 

"T-thank you, Dorian."

 

The two fell silent as Cullen continued through the main hall to the door that led to Amaris and Ayr's shared quarters, hesitating when he reached it.

 

This was a private area for the two cousins, their bed chamber and personal space. It seemed... strange, to be entering, even if it was just to put Ayr to bed.

 

And oh, the way his thoughts wanted to go with _that_ -

 

He was saved any worry when the door opened and Amaris stuck her head out, as though sensing them.

 

"Ayr! Thank Mythal, you're alright?"

 

"F-fine, Amaris. Just grounded for a b-bit."

 

" _Good_ , you need to rest. Cullen, bring her in, the cook already brought some food up so we wouldn't have to worry about it."

 

The Commander followed after as she had asked, walking along the hall and then up the stairs that led to the girls' personal chambers.

 

He hadn't been there before - Josephine, Leliana and, after much insistence, Vivienne - had taken care of the Inquisitor's private rooms, furnishing them as they saw best suited Amaris.

 

It was _big_ , nicely suited to the two women, and though others may have been surprised at the single large bed occupying the space, Cullen knew they had shared back in Haven, and likely before that; being Dalish, they were likely more comfortable when in close contact anyways.

 

Amaris went to the little table near the couch while Cullen crossed to the bed and set Ayr down, stepping back to give her room. She just sat on the edge and sighed, grumbling quietly.

 

"Sorry for the trouble." she shot him an apologetic look, and Cullen could only offer a soft grin in return.

 

"No trouble at all. Just rest." he paused, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, "Would you... like if I brought you some books? To pass the time?"

 

_That_ made her eyes light up a little, dancing beneath the lines on her face, "I would like that. Thank you, Cullen."

 

He nodded, made sure she was comfortable, and then excused himself, thoughts more a jumble then they had been.

 

Cullen didn't notice the look Ayr was giving him as he left, or the one Amaris wore as she glanced between them, now more than _certain_ in her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note on the Lyrium overdose:
> 
> I don't know what anyone else's thoughts are on the subject. I don't know how other people handle it.
> 
> This part stemmed from my actual fight in game with this dragon - I don't remember it's name, but I know it's the one that breathes lightning - and I remember going through the Lyrium potions I had equipped SO QUICKLY and just off-hand thinking 'that CAN'T be healthy'.
> 
> And so, we get Ayr having an unintentional overdose, because if it means protecting the others she WILL do it. Which will lead into certain things with Cullen... but I digress, that is for a later chapter.
> 
> Yes I realize Vivienne's request is actually much later in the game, but it worked far to well with the plot and the timing and so I switched it. It's fanfiction, I can do that. Kudos and Comments make my day! <3


	5. Lyrium and Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayr and Cullen admit - to THEMSELVES - that they are in far to deep.
> 
> Vivienne thinks everyone is an idiot.
> 
> And Amaris gets the one thing she's wanted all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story. Ayr - darling, red headed, fire cracker Ayr - was originally going to have black hair.
> 
> When I first started to set up my second playthrough, I KNEW I wanted to romance Cullen. And what would be better then making my Inquisitor resemble my Warden from Origins - ALSO named Ayr, which I did on purpose, and with black hair and green eyes - as best as I could, considering the differing graphics and character creation sets. (This is relevant later)
> 
> Her hair style is also the ONLY MOD I have installed, because I KNEW I wanted her to have longer hair and wasn't happy with the ingame styles. Plus I fell in love with that mod once I saw it; so unique! I couldn't resist.
> 
> And then... I tried to give her black hair, and it didn't work. Didn't fit. Played around with it... and tada, redheaded Ayr was born. And then all the comments about red heads IN GAME - Bull saying he has a thing for them, that Avvar cheiften saying something about redheaded mothers always producing brats - and I realized it was perfect.
> 
> But I digress.
> 
> Ayr and Cullen are my life right now okay, they are my precious babies that I have FAR to much fun messing with. And god, the AUS I already want to write...
> 
> I started thinking about the Avvar, which lead to a scenario of Thane!Cullen (that seems to be popular in the fandom) being rescued from Venatori by a lost Ayr, who then ends up being swept back to the stronghold by the man who can't keep his eyes off her.
> 
> Or the MODERN AU where Amaris and Ayr own a cafe, Dorian is their employee, Cassandra and Cullen are part of a special task force and life is just crazy.
> 
> OKAY I'M SHUTTING UP NOW. This is not quite as long! I'm trying to break the chapters up a bit more, so I don't go into CRAZY ASS LENGTHS again.
> 
> Ayr and Cullen are still clueless idiots, as per Vivienne - who I really like now, considering I DIDN'T TALK TO HER AT ALL my first playthrough.
> 
> And Amaris and Solas are official! And there's some almost-smut near the end, but I haven't made it to smut-smut yet. Regardless, enjoy! (And yes, I'm just updating whenever I finish chapters, I have no set schedule)

Two days later, when the inner door to the chambers opened and closed loudly and a posh voice called "I'm coming up, darling!", Ayr nearly fell off the couch.

 

Instead, she managed to swing her legs off the back from where they'd been kicking in the air and rolled deftly to her feet, proud that she only staggered a _little_ as she made a mad dash for the bed and all but _dove_ under the upturned covers, book still clutched protectively to her chest.

 

'Bed rest', Ayr had always assumed, was a very _loose_ term. So long as she was _resting_ \- and likely sitting or lying down - surely that counted.

 

Apparently, not so; she'd gotten chewed out by Amaris the day before for pulling one of the arm chairs over to the fireplace to curl up in and read, despite the fact that she _was_ resting. Okay, so maybe her cousin had been more ticked off by the fact that she'd exerted herself moving the chair, but Amaris had _still_ ushered her back to bed and tucked her in, requesting that she _please_ stay in bed the rest of the day.

 

Ayr had done as asked... until Amaris returned later that night with a tray of food for them to share, Cullen following behind with the books he'd promised to get for her.

 

All she'd done was attempt to get up to grab some food; nothing fancy or crazy. Just _standing_.

 

She'd been stopped by Cullen _gently_ pressing on her shoulder - the _non_ -battered one - and silently persuading her to remain in bed, Amaris approaching with a smaller, footed tray that explained the actions.

 

" _Seriously_?" was all Ayr could think to say, practically _pouting_ as her cousin and the Commander only gave her knowing looks and continued to set things up.

 

Cullen excused himself after setting the books on a side table within easy reach, giving Amaris a polite nod and letting his eyes linger on Ayr - a look she unknowingly returned, telling her heart to _shut up_ \- before disappearing down the stairs.

 

The cousins ate in relative silence, Ayr occasionally asking about the day's events and Amaris answering easily.

 

She had _really_ wanted to ask if Solas had returned yet, but her cousins somewhat distant disposition told her that no, he hadn't.

 

Today - her final day of bed rest, thank the Creators - Ayr had stayed in bed until she was _sure_ that Amaris would be busy with war councils and other matters, not wanting to be chewed out again.

 

Plus, surely the couch was a safe bet? She hadn't moved it, and she'd made sure to have a blanket and water jug nearby.

 

So maybe... lying on her back with her head dangling over the edge and her legs kicked up over the back of it wasn't the most _usual_ of poses, but it helped her headache and let her move her legs around, okay?

 

She'd been rather into the book she was reading, to - Varric's _Hard in Hightown_ , actually, and one of the few Cullen had brought her - when the door and the voice had sent her fleeing back to bed.

 

If the other's reactions had been any indication, Ayr did _not_ want to chance being caught out of bed again.

 

She was sufficiently-snuggled into the blankets when Vivienne appeared at the top of the stairs, looking as proud and untouchable as ever.

 

And yet... there was a different edge to the woman's expression as her eyes lit on Ayr, an actual _smile_ tugging at her lips even as she seemed on the verge of depression.

 

"Ayr, my dear," Vivienne's voice was smooth as ever, though again there was that slight off-note to it, "Amaris told me of your escapades in the Exalted Plains. How are you feeling?"

 

"Better. It was really only the day _of_ that I felt off." Ayr sat up a bit, not _as_ worried about appearing unruffled as she had been, "I won't be using any Lyrium potions for a good while, that's for sure."

 

"I certainly hope not, darling. But I digress... I wanted to _thank_ you, Ayr, for retrieving the heart of the Snowy Wyvern for me, despite the danger you found yourself in."

 

"It was nothing, Vivienne, don't worry about it." Ayr tried to wave it off, startled by the show of emotion from the usually stoic Madame de Fer, "Happy to help."

 

"It _isn't_ nothing, Ayr. The potion..." Vivienne pursed her lips for a moment, "I lied when I said it was for the Court. It was for a rather more personal quest, I'm afraid. You remember the Duke Bastien?"

 

"Vaguely..." Ayr spoke carefully, not sure where the older mage was going with this, "I remember the Courtiers mentioning him when Amaris and I first came to meet you. He is a member of the Council of Heralds, is he not?"

 

"He was. He was also the reason I entered the court as I did." Vivienne smiled, a sort of sad, reminiscent look, "Despite his being at least twenty years my senior, I was his mistress, and I loved him dearly."

 

"The potion, my dear, was for him. He had contracted what seemed to be an incurable illness, you see; the draught was to save his life."

 

"I'm sorry." Ayr answered automatically, struck by the words. No wonder Vivienne had been so desperate for the heart. "I'm glad I could help."

 

"He died, my dear."

 

_That_ made Ayr's heart freeze, eyes snapping to Vivienne's, "But the potion-"

 

"-didn't work. It was given to late." Vivienne paused, "Do not think it was your fault however, my dear. I should have given him the potion _months_ ago, when I meant to, but as I said before, the men sent to slay the beast were killed in the civil war. I brewed it the _moment_ Amaris gave the heart to me, left for Val Royeaux _immediately_... and was only in time to say good bye..."

 

"Vivienne... I'm so sorry," Ayr hesitated, biting her lip - not wanting to be rude but wanting to know - before questioning, "But... why are you telling _me_ this?"

 

"Because, my dear, you have proven yourself time and again to be a woman of your word. But more then that, I see the situation you are in and will do all I can to make sure you do not follow in my errors."

 

"Meaning...?"

 

"Do not pretend with me, Ayr," Vivienne's eyes were boring into her own then, harsh but kind, "I see how you look at our rugged Commander, how _he_ looks at _you_. _Everyone_ sees it, besides the two of you. Do _not_ let what you might have, the happiness that could be, go because you are _afraid_."

 

"I-I don't... what?!" Ayr had gone a funny shade of red, denial immediate in the face of someone repeating her own _thoughts_ back at her, "Vivienne, there is _nothing_... the Commander and I barely get _along_...!"

 

"Darling, the man was _beside himself_ when you returned from the Plains and nearly collapsed. You were hardly complaining when he _swept_ you off your feet and rushed you to the healers."

 

"He would have done that for anyone," Ayr mumbled quietly, the same thing she'd been telling herself over and over, "He's the Commander, he looks out for everyone-"

 

"Then why not let Dorian carry you, hmm?" Vivienne pressed, "He was _closer_ to you, and your good friend. If you were just _any soldier_ , why would he not have allowed _Dorian_ to bring you to the healers?"

 

All Vivienne was doing was repeating questions Ayr had already tormented herself with, trying to figure out the reasons for the quiet words, soft touches and kind gestures, the carefully picked books and straight out _flirting_ the day they'd left for the Plains.

 

And yet fear continued to reign supreme, making her voice bitter when she mumbled one of the biggest thoughts holding her back, "I'm a _mage_ , Vivienne, and whether he's left the order or not, Cullen was a _Templar_. He could never care for me... for a _mage_ , like that."

 

"If you truly think that man doesn't care for you, my dear, then you are a fool." Vivienne stood, patting Ayr's hand with a kind, knowing smile, "Do not let fear keep you from happiness, darling. Do think about what I've said?"

 

She left as swiftly as she'd come, disappearing down the stairs and leaving Ayr staring after her, face red and mind a jumble of thoughts.

 

Then she pulled her knees to her chest and bent to press her forehead to them, letting out a shaky breath.

 

_By the Dread Wolf,_ she whispered silently, eyes clenching shut, _What do I do?_

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Cullen was anxious as it was approaching the Lavellan's chambers, still largely unsure as to where he stood with Ayr and somewhat uncomfortable in entering she and Amaris' _bedchambers_ despite the Inquisitors assurance that they would lock the door when necessary.

 

He had the newest volume of Hard in Hightown tucked under his arm - given to him by Varric himself, actually, when he'd heard the Commander was looking for interesting books to give the bed-ridden elf - and was at least confident in his apparent reasoning for visiting her.

 

The book was an excuse, in all honestly; he _did_ want to give it to her, but his actual reason... well, the _main_ reason, was that he wanted to tell her.

 

About not taking Lyrium anymore.

 

_You want to tell her other things,_ a little voice whispered in the back of his mind, but he shoved it away and focused on that one reason alone, ignoring the fact that he simply found himself wanting to check on her, to make sure she was healing.

 

Her incident with the Lyrium potions - the overdose, the fact that she usually didn't take them - made him want to confide this secret in her, to tell someone that might understand.

 

The only other person that knew was Cassandra - and that was only because she needed to be aware if his condition deteriorated, so that she might keep an eye on the Inquisition forces.

 

So yes, he was incredibly anxious.

 

The last thing he expected - or needed - was to almost run _into_ Vivienne as he opened the outer door and stepped into the hallway, the enchanter coming to a halt a mere foot in front of him.

 

They stared at each other for a moment - he with surprise and slight worry, she with pursed lips and thinly veiled anger.

 

Then Vivienne tilted her head back and resumed her cold, aloof persona, regarding him as one might a fly, "Commander."

 

"Lady Vivienne." Cullen forced himself to be polite, knowing that she was an asset to the Inquisition and a friend - if not a close one - of Amaris and Ayr.

 

"And what excuse do _you_ give?" Vivienne questioned, catching him off guard, "Do you _truly_ care that she is a mage? Or are you so blinded by _age_ that you hold yourself away?"

 

"Pardon?"

 

" _Ayr_." the woman exhaled, exasperated, "You are _enamoured_ with her and anyone with eyes can _tell_ , asides from Ayr _herself_. So what is holding you back? Her magic? Her age? _What_?"

 

"I fail to see how this is any of your business, Lady Vivienne." Cullen did his best to remain blank faced, though he could feel heat rising up his neck as she forced him to face the words he'd been ignoring for so long.

 

"It is my business because I do not wish to see Ayr suffer." Vivienne crossed her arms, gaze cold and calculating, "Explain yourself, Commander."

 

"I..." the things she'd mentioned weren't even an issue, Cullen realized silently, struggling to find the words. Being a mage was simply a part of who Ayr _was_ , and while at first he hadn't trusted her, now he knew how loyal she was, how determined and stubborn.

 

And maybe at first, when these thoughts had begun to creep into his mind, her age had bothered him; she was twenty, ten years his junior, and surely not interested in a man so worn down by life.

 

The longer the thoughts persisted, however, the more he realized it was just something that made her _Ayr_ , and none of it bothered him.

 

She wouldn't be herself without the snark and sarcasm and wit, after all.

 

"Neither of those things bother me, Lady Vivienne." Cullen forced himself to answer then, straightening to full height, "I simply do not wish to pursue what is not wanted by the lady."

 

Vivienne stared at him for a moment, muttering something under her breath that sounded like "You are blind, the both of you."

 

"Very well, Commander. But know this." Vivienne stepped closer, eyes steely, "If you break that girls heart, you will find out first hand why they call me _Madame de Fer._ "

 

Then Vivienne was gone, the door slamming rather loudly behind her, and Cullen wondered, yet again, what he had gotten himself into.

 

Regardless, he steeled himself and continued on towards the inner door, determined to do what he'd intended to.

 

Despite warnings from slightly terrifying mages.

 

Letting out a breath, Cullen paused at the door and rapped his knuckles against the wood, waiting a moment before trying the handle and finding it unlocked.

 

"Ayr?" he called through the crack, listening intently, "May I come in?"

 

There was no answer, but the door hadn't been locked and Vivienne hadn't said she was sleeping or anything, so he stepped inside, letting it fall closed behind him.

 

"Ayr, I'm coming up!" Cullen tried once more, not wanting to startle the woman or catch her at an inopportune moment, purposely trying to make his steps louder as he ascended the stairs.

 

He glanced around once he could see over the ledge, golden eyes immediately locking onto her form and a sigh of relief leaving him as he mounted the last few stairs.

 

Ayr stood at the open balcony doors, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and blowing behind her like a cape as she leaned against the frame, staring out at the mountains surrounding Skyhold.

 

She seemed lost in thought, and Cullen couldn't help taking a moment to examine her, half out of worry for her health and half because he rarely got the chance to just _look_ at her.

 

Her left side faced him, the half of her head that was partially shaved above the ear, red curls cascading down the back and leaving her face un-obscured. Her eyes seemed distant, lips pursed, and he wondered at the crease of her brow.

 

Then the last step _squeaked_ as he stepped on it, alerting Ayr to his presence and making her whirl towards him, startled.

 

She froze for a moment, staring at him with wide green eyes, mouth working silently. Then she _flushed_ , gaze staying on him as she stuttered, "C-commander. I didn't hear you come in."

 

"I _did_ call out a warning." Cullen felt his lips curling into a teasing smirk even as he stepped fully into the chambers, shifting the book under his arm, "You were lost in thought, it seems."

 

"I was." Ayr licked her lips and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, gaze unwavering but nervous, "Was there... something you needed?"

 

Wanting to break the awkward tension mounting in the room, Cullen extracted the book from under his arm and held it up, Ayr's gaze immediately drawn to it.

 

"The newest _Hard in Hightown_." he explained, unable to help the grin when her eyes lit up, "Courtesy of Mr. Tethras himself."

 

Ayr was _laughing_ suddenly, crossing quickly from the doors with a hand outstretched, the other keeping a tight grip on her blanket-cape, "How the _hell_ did you get him to give you _this_?"

 

"Mentioned I was trying to find books to keep you entertained while you were grounded," Cullen tried - and failed - to not feel ridiculously _proud_ of having caused the pleased expression on Ayr's face, relinquishing the book to her smaller hand, "He seemed happy to provide it, honestly. Varric - everyone, really - is fond of you and Amaris, Ayr. They'd likely give you anything you asked for."

 

"Is that so?" Ayr stroked a hand over the book reverently, a mischievous glint to her eyes when she glanced up at him, "And are you included in that number, Commander?"

 

Cullen froze, swallowing roughly at the possible implications of her words, wondering desperately if what Vivienne had said held any truth. " _Perhaps._ "

 

Ayr smiled, "I shall keep that in mind." she turned then, heading for the bed - and the stack of books beside it - while asking "Has Solas returned yet?"

 

"Not yet, no." Cullen followed, though he paused near the couch rather than nearing the bed, watching as she nimbly climbed on and situated herself amongst the covers, "I know Amaris is confident he will return, and soon, but it is worrying, that he's been gone so long."

 

"He'll come back." Ayr sounded sure, but he could detect a note of worry in her tone, "He better. Amaris is in _love_ with him; I'd never seen her so happy as when she's with him. He'll come back."

 

"She's in love?" Cullen echoed, feeling safe to take a seat on the couch so he wasn't making Ayr crane her neck to look at him, "You're certain."

 

Ayr snorted, making his lips twitch, "Head over _heels_ , Commander. I've never seen her so far gone. No one ever interested her before, but Solas... he's everything she _wants_. They're very alike, and he understands her. Probably... even better than I do, really. So he'd better come back, or I'll have to hunt his ass down."

 

"You would, too." Cullen chuckled, giving her a soft grin.

 

Ayr returned the look. "I've said it before." she murmured, "I'll do anything for the people I care about. _Anything_."

 

"You and I are very much alike in that regard." Ayrs smile at his response was brilliant, and Cullen cleared his throat, forcing himself to carry on with the plan, "There was... another reason I came. I wanted to... confide something in you, Ayr."

 

The redhead was all ears, eyes watching him intently, "Oh?"

 

"A question, first. Amaris said you never usually use Lyrium potions. Is there a reason, or simply a dislike...?"

 

Ayr winced, ducking her gaze. "There's a reason." she grumbled, sighing and shrugging uselessly, "When I... first started to come into my powers, they were wild. You've seen my magic; fire and lightning, destructive forces. I kept control of it well enough, no major problems... until one of the older kids thought it'd be _funny_ to slip me a Lyrium potion and see what happened."

 

"I take it the result was not one they were counting on."

 

"I ended up setting half the camp on fire before the potion wore off and I could control it again. I swore I'd only ever use them in emergencies, and _never_ used one again. Until..."

 

"Until the dragon." when she nodded, Cullen shook his head, "I would say that counts as an _emergency_ , Ayr, even if you _did_ overdo it on the potions. I would, admittedly, prefer if you did not _repeat_ those actions, however."

 

_That_ managed to get a smile, Ayr glancing up at him again, "You and me both, Commander."

 

_Cullen. Call me Cullen. Stop using my title as a shield._

 

Cullen kept the thought reigned in, still not sure if it was truth or just foolish hopes.

 

"Back to..." he sighed, "Lyrium, as you probably know, grants Templars our - _their_ \- powers, but it controls them as well. Those cut off _suffer_. Some go mad... others die. We have secured a reliable source of Lyrium for the Templars here. But..."

 

Ayr was frowning, leaning forwards on the bed, "But...?"

 

"...I no longer take it."

 

And there it was, the secret only Cassandra knew, the one he wasn't even comfortable telling _Amaris_. Yet somehow, he wasn't afraid to tell Ayr. If anything, it was a relief.

 

"You _stopped_?" Ayr's voice was a bit high, sounding incredulous.

 

"When I joined the Inquisition." he admitted, gaze on the ground, "It's been months now."

 

" _Cullen_ ," and there it was, his name spoken in a startled, worried tone, "If this can _kill_ you-"

 

"It hasn't yet." Cullen cut her off, not wanting her to dwell on that aspect, "After what happened in Kirkwall, I couldn't... I will not be bound to the Order, or that life any longer. Whatever the suffering, I accept it."

 

"Cullen-"

 

"I've asked Cassandra to watch me; if my ability to lead is compromised, I will be relieved from duty. I will not allow the Inquisition to suffer."

 

The couch dipped beside him suddenly, and Cullen looked up to find himself drowning in worried green, a hand lifted as though wanting to comfort him but not knowing how.

 

"Are you in pain?" she questioned, watching his face for the truth.

 

"I can endure it." he answered honestly, "It is easier, having someone else who knows."

 

"Have you told Amaris?"

 

"No. Only Cassandra, out of necessity. And now you."

 

"She wouldn't think less of you."

 

"I know. And perhaps one day, if the strain becomes too much, I will tell her. For now, I take comfort in having shared with you."

 

Ayr watched him for a moment - whether trying to decipher the truth from his expressions or decide on her words, he wasn't sure - before she nodded, expression softening.

 

"Tell me." she said, "If the pain ever gets too bad. Don't feel like you have to endure it alone."

 

Knowing the surprise was showing on his face, Cullen lifted a brow, "You needn't do that, Ayr-"

 

" _Cullen_." her voice had gained an edge, something almost desperate, " _Please_. You've been dealing with this alone for months. Don't do that anymore. You're... well, we're..." Ayr swallowed, licking her lips as she seemed to search for the word, "We're _friends_ , I think, even though all we do is _bicker_. You trusted me with this information; now let me _help_."

 

_What word were you trying to find, Ayr? What did you really want to say?_

 

"Thank you," was all he said, smiling honestly, "I will do that, then. Though I'm sure you'll be too busy adventuring with Amaris look after ex-Templars."

 

"I'm grounded for two weeks, remember?" Ayr was laughing, shaking her head with a rueful grin, "You'll be sick of me in no time, I bet."

 

_By the Maker, how could I **ever** be sick of you, Ayr?_

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It was three days after rescuing the Spirit in the Exalted Plains when Solas returned.

 

Amaris didn't usually spend a lot of time with Vivienne - the older mage was a bit intimidating and high handed, though always polite and ready with advice - but she _did_ have the best view of Skyhold's courtyard and Gates.

 

So that was where she'd been, whenever she wasn't in the war room or chasing Ayr back to bed.

 

And... maybe she'd been putting off war councils longer then she should have, because she'd wanted to be up _there_ , watching and waiting.

 

Her advisors didn't seem to mind the break - and Amaris _knew_ Cullen had gone to see Ayr the day before, thanks to Vivienne's rather heated declaration that 'they are both _idiots_ who need to just _admit_ how they feel already'.

 

So there she'd sat, only half listening to Vivienne and any agents who came by while keeping her gaze focused on the Gates, worried.

 

Solas had said he would meet them at Skyhold. He'd said he would _come back._

 

_Please don't let anything have happened to him._

 

It was midday when the bell rang out, interrupting whatever Vivienne had been saying as Amaris shot to her feet, eyes wide.

 

That was the bell used only when signalling that allies had returned, and no one had been out on any missions. Which could only mean...

 

Amaris stumbled out an apology to Vivienne - who knew _exactly_ what was going on, if her smile was any indication - and all but _ran_ back down through the library, passing Dorian and Ayr as she raced for the stairs and down into the main hall.

 

She _forced_ herself to only speed-walk through the hall, trying not to seem flighty, and carefully jogged down the main staircase to the upper courtyard.

 

Amaris paused at the top of the lower steps, taking a deep breath before continuing down, _Please let it be him, please please please._

 

Her prayers and diligence were rewarded; Solas strode into the courtyard just as she started down the steps, his eyes alighting on her and expression seeming to soften as he altered his course.

 

They met just as she reached the bottom step, perhaps two feet between them. Solas was smiling, albeit sadly, "Amaris."

 

Her heart thumped, startled by the use of her name rather than her title. "How are you, Solas?"

 

"It hurts. It always does. But I will survive."

 

"Thank you for coming back." Amaris tried to smile, joking, "I was getting worried."

 

"I know. I am sorry for any inconveniences my absence has caused." Solas reached out and gently took her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles, "After all we have been through... I certainly couldn't abandon you now."

 

Her heart was thumping so loudly Amaris feared the entire courtyard could hear it, gaze resolutely staying on his face, "The next time you have to mourn, you don't need to be alone."

 

"I will keep it in mind." he was still holding her hand, still keeping her close, "There is... something I wish to discuss with you, when you have the time. In private."

 

"I'm free now." Amaris stepped back onto the stairs, using their still joined hands to lead him along, glad when he followed easily.

 

Her first thought was to go to the rotunda - it was where they'd spent most of their time together, and would be a familiar setting.

 

The thought was squashed when she realized how _open_ it really was, with both the library and Leliana's spy perch looking down on it.

 

Stomach flipping, Amaris tightened her hold on his hand and instead headed diagonally to her private quarters, glad that it was Ayr's first day off bed rest and her cousin had sworn to stay as far away from the room as she could.

 

She didn't care about the whispers their clasped hands stirred as they crossed the hall; only cared about the way his grip on her tightened, as though _daring_ any of the gathered parties to say anything.

 

The outer door closing cut off the sound from the main hall, a comfortable silence falling as they walked the corridor to the inner one.

 

Amaris let Solas enter first, pausing to lock the door behind her; he had asked for _privacy_ , and she had not seen him in three days. They deserved some time.

 

_He probably just wants to thank you for your help._ that fretful little voice of worry chimed in her mind, the one that kept telling her Solas saw her as only a friend and nothing more.

 

_We will see what he says._ she retorted, shoving the voice away as she followed Solas to the balcony, curious as to his intentions.

 

Solas was a mystery, one she hoped to someday solve.

 

"What were you like?" Solas' voice cut through her thoughts then, gaze lifting as he turned to watch her, curious, "Before the anchor. Has it affected you? _Changed_ you in any way?"

 

"Changed me how...?" Amaris murmured, lifting her hand to glance at the glowing mark, sickly green even in the light of day, aching faintly on occasion.

 

"Your mind? Your morals? Your..." he paused, almost grinning, " _..spirit_?"

 

"I don't believe so." was the easy reply, "I'm the same as I ever was."

 

"Ah..." Solas looked away, seeming to consider her words.

 

Impatient for once, Amaris prompted "Why do you ask...?"

 

"You show a wisdom I have not seen since..." a pause, as though he were considering his words, "... since my deepest journeys into ancient memories of the Fade. You are not what I expected."

 

"What _did_ you expect?" Amaris took a step forwards, trying to be bold and confident, "What have I done that's so surprising?"

 

_Be like Ayr_ , would normally be the thought process, but considering her cousins current lack of progress, it seemed Amaris needed to be like _herself_.

 

"You have shown subtlety in your actions. A wisdom that goes against everything I expected. If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours, have I misjudged them?"

 

"No." she murmured, lips tilting in a half grin, "The Dalish didn't determine who I am, just as they did not determine who Ayr is. You have _seen_ how we act, yes? Do we act like typical Dalish?"

 

"You do not." Solas agreed, voice soft, "So many people act with so little understanding of the world, but not you. You are... unique. Incredibly so."

 

"So what does this mean, Solas?" Amaris whispered, torn between hope and fear.

 

He was smiling, albeit faintly. "It means I have not forgotten the kiss."

 

Heart near to bursting, Amaris smiled, stepping closer so she was in his personal bubble, not touching but within easy reach, "Good."

 

They stared at each other for a moment, neither sure how to proceed, before Solas shook his head and moved to turn away, Amaris' heart dropping.

 

_No no no don't go please wait-_

Amaris reached out to grip his arm, light enough that he could pull away if he was truly determined but tight enough to show her desperation, "Don't go."

 

"It would be kinder in the long run." Solas paused, then began to turn back to her, an expression she couldn't quite read on his face, "But loosing you would..."

 

He was kissing her before she could react, catching her startled breath with his mouth, arms wrapping tightly around her to press her close and anchor her against him.

 

_This_ kiss was much deeper than the one in the Fade, desperate and hungry, tongue sliding against hers when she opened her mouth at his insistence.

 

There was a hand on her ass and his leg was wedged between her own, body warm and commanding against her, and Amaris could only surrender happily, feeling faint as she wrapped her own arms around his neck and gave back as good as she got.

 

Solas pulled away - drawing a whine from Amaris at the thought he may still leave - and pressed their foreheads together for a moment, out of breath as he watched her, gaze so intense Amaris felt herself blushing.

 

"Ar lath ma, Vhenan." he mumbled, voice tender, and her breath hitched, eyes going wide in surprise.

 

The surprise was short lived, and Amaris smiled brilliantly, angling her head to kiss him again even as she whispered it back " _Ar lath ma, Vhenan._ "

 

There was no hesitance in him then; just a confident knowing as he kissed her, holding her in a way that spoke of both want and caring, tenderness and hunger.

 

She was pushing him back into the room without really noticing, wanting out of the cold air but not wanting to part from him.

 

Amaris was to lost to the feel of his mouth on hers and his hands brushing over her to keep track of where in the room they were, but Solas noticed and took advantage, steering slightly to the right.

 

His knees hit her bed and he sat suddenly, pulling her down onto his lap and stifling her startled gasp with his lips, hands tight on her hips and body firm beneath hers.

 

Amaris' head fell back with a groan when his hand slid to her ass and _squeezed_ , Solas' mouth trailing down her throat and leaving small bites and kisses in his wake.

 

_"Ar lath ma, Vhenan."_ he growled into her throat, making her shiver and gasp, sure she would never tire of hearing the words.

 

"Ar lath ma..." Amaris gasped as he continued his onslaught, nearly _giggling_ at the thought that popped into her mind, "If only _Ayr_ could spit the words out..."

 

"There has been-" Solas paused to bite down on her shoulder, drawing another cry from the trembling woman, "- _little_ progress, I take it?"

 

" _No_ progress." she managed to respond, nails rasping against the base of his skull and making him hiss, "They are insufferably _stubborn_."

 

"Then perhaps a little-" Solas _bucked_ beneath her, the obvious bulge making her breath catch and her insides quiver, "- _push_ is needed?"

 

" _Later_." Amaris gasped, hands coming to clasp his face and draw him back up to her, lips meeting heatedly even as she ground down against him, wicked pleasure creeping through her when his hands shot to her waist and anchored her there.

 

Belatedly, Amaris thought to be glad she had locked the door, though it was a very _vague_ thought as she was thrown onto the bed and pressed into the covers by Solas' body, hands scrabbling to pull aside clothing and touch and explore, anxious and excited and so very, very _happy_.

 

_I will have to have the sheets changed._ was Amaris' last coherent thought before her world was shattered in the best of ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The almost-smut was a surprise. Wasn't supposed to happen yet, but the muses wanted to run with it. Oh well.
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! :D <3


	6. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaris and Solas enjoy their new-found bond.
> 
> Ayr stays the HELL away from the bed.
> 
> And EVERYONE joins in the 'they're idiots and need to kiss already' club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a super eventful chapter, but it's important! And character building!
> 
> ...And I'm trying to not have crazy long chapters, so I stopped this one after it almost hit 6000 words oops.
> 
> SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT HAPPENS NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> BUT you get more lovely Amaris x Solas in this one, and EVERYONE EVER rolling their eyes at Cullen and Ayr. And then Varric giving a little 'present' at the end hehe that'll be revealed next chapter.
> 
> As always, enjoy! Comments and kudos make my day! <3

Ayr's first day off bed rest had mostly been spent in the library with Dorian.

 

The Tevinter - whom she very much considered her best friend, asides from Amaris - knew all the good gossip of the Keep, what had been happening within and without, any battles being fought or new areas being uncovered.

 

The library was also a fairly safe refuge, since Vivienne rarely ventured there and Cullen was more likely to be in his office or with the troops.

 

They had parted awkwardly the day before, with Ayr a blushing, flustered mess and Cullen avoiding eye contact as he excused himself.

 

_Damn that Vivienne! This is all her fault!_

 

Except it wasn't, really. Vivienne had only voiced the thoughts Ayr tormented _herself_ with on a daily basis, trying to figure out exactly _what_ she felt for the Commander and _if_ he felt anything besides vague _friendship_ for her.

 

Dorian, admittedly, wasn't helping matters.

 

"It's _quite_ obvious, dear heart. Just _talk_ to him already."

 

"Dorian, be serious. All I do is piss him off, remember?"

 

"Ah, but then why would he go to your rooms just to deliver a book to you? One he could have _easily_ asked Amaris or myself to deliver? Yes, Ayr, I know he came to see you; I do pay attention to the happenings of the keep, after all."

 

"We just _talked_ , Dorian, that's it."

 

"About what, pray tell?"

 

Ayr bit her lip, not liking keeping secrets from him but knowing it wasn't her secret to tell. "I can't tell you, it's Cullen's business."

 

"You see? He's even telling you his secrets!" Dorian gave a particularly naughty grin, waggling his eyebrows, "Trust me, Ayr, the moment you two actually _admit_ how you feel, you'll be ripping each other's clothes off."

 

" _Dorian!_ " Ayrs voice was a hiss, her face blushing red as she smacked his arm, "Hush! If anyone heard you-"

 

"It's nothing they haven't thought themselves, dear heart. _Everyone_ sees it but the two of you. Quite charming, really."

 

"Gee, thanks."

 

They were interrupted by the door leading to Vivienne's perch _banging_ open and Amaris all but flying past them down the stairs, the two staring silently after the Inquisitor for a moment before turning to each other.

 

"I'm gonna say Solas is back..." Ayr drawled.

 

"Indeed. I think he is the _only_ one that could make our dear Inquisitor rush about so."

 

"Good. Then she can stop moping. It'll be nice to see her actually _smile_ again."

 

Dorian only chuckled, gaze turning to the book she had brought with her, "Still have lots of reading material?"

 

"I'm done all the ones I had, actually; I'm a fast reader, especially when I have nothing _else_ to do." Ayr sighed, patting the novel fondly, "Just finished this one - the newest Hard in Hightown, Cullen brought it for me yesterday - _don't even, Dorian._ But now I need more books... and I'd rather fiction, whereas most of our library is histories, magic, crafting..."

 

"I will check my personal collection to see if anything suits your taste, dear heart."

 

"Thank you, Dorian."

 

They passed another hour there before the suns position and their grumbling bellies told them it was time for dinner.

 

Heading down to the main hall, Ayr made for the main table - most of their companions already there - only to be stopped by a quiet word from Varric, jerking his head to the side.

 

"Have you seen Amaris?" the dwarf questioned, voice hushed, "I've, ah... called in a favor. A friend of mine who's faced Corypheus before is here, but I haven't seen blondie in hours.

 

"I think she went to our rooms. I can check?"

 

"Much appreciated, firecracker."

 

Ayr nodded and crossed to the outer door of she and Amaris' rooms, entering quickly and heading for the inner door.

 

Only to find it locked.

 

Frowning, Ayr tried again, thinking it was just jammed. Nope, definitely locked. Why would it be...

 

_Solas came back a few hours ago, and Amaris went running. They probably wanted to go somewhere private... oh. OH._

Cheeks burning red at the thought of what had happened - or what was possibly _still_ happening - beyond the locked door, Ayr turned on her heel and strode quickly back to the outer door, exiting into the main hall without a second thought.

 

Ayr didn't look at anyone as she approached the table, simply taking her seat beside Dorian and reaching for the food.

 

Varric's eyebrows lifted, "Where's...?"

 

"Busy." Ayr quipped, dishing out a large helping of mashed potatoes and then going for the meat, ignoring the looks passing between everyone else at the table.

 

"It is not like Amaris to miss a meal." Cassandra voiced from further down the table, ever worried about the Inquisitor, "Surely she can come down...?"

 

"She's _busy_." Ayr put an emphasis on the word, expression pleading as she looked at the warrior, " _Please_ , don't ask. Just... she's _busy_."

 

Dorian and Varric clued in first, both wearing rather smug looks as they turned to their food.

 

Josephine and Leliana shared a quick look, Blackwall and Bull seemed utterly disinterested, and she'd have _sworn_ Vivienne muttered something about 'At least _they're_ making progress.'.

 

Cassandra was the last to clue in, mouth gaping open and eyes going wide in shock as she silently repeated the _ohs_ Ayr had gone through at the door.

 

"P-perhaps she will come get dinner _later_ then."

 

"Agreed." Ayr mumbled, gaze darting around the table, "Where's Cullen?"

 

The question slipped out before she could stop it, tensing immediately as _everyone_ looked at her rather knowingly.

 

"The Commander is likely working late again," Josephine supplied, though even _she_ was grinning behind her napkin, "He tends to take dinner in his office, if he remembers to eat at all."

 

"He forgets to eat?" Ayr didn't flinch at the looks this time; they'd already made their opinions clear, whatever. And she admittedly didn't know much of Cullen's habits; she spent most of her time off with Amaris or the others, completing missions and gathering herbs.

 

"Quite often, actually. He is quite the workaholic."

 

_Note to self: for the next two weeks, make sure Cullen eats dinner._ She couldn't help what he did while she wasn't there, but she'd be _damned_ if he didn't eat while she was grounded to the Keep.

 

Ayr told herself the desire was entirely based on the fact that he was her _friend_ and she didn't want him to get _sick_.

 

Not at all because she wanted to spend more time with him.

 

_Dammit all,_ Ayr stabbed her potatoes rather more harshly then she'd intended, chewing moodily, _I'm a coward._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

" _Vhenan_." Solas' voice was a throaty purr, brushing over her shoulder as he kissed the bared skin, "We must rise, vhenan. It is nearly dark, and we must emerge."

 

Amaris sighed, turning her head towards him so his next kiss was on her lips, tender and gentle, the opposite of the passionate hunger he'd devoured her with not an hour before. "Must we?"

 

"Unfortunately. I fear your cousin has already come looking for us, though she was wise in leaving once she realized the door was locked."

 

Amaris gave a lazy smile, eyes opening to peer into stormy blue, a hand rising to trace along his jaw, "I know, I felt her. Ayr likely knows what has happened."

 

"Is that a bad thing?"

 

"No." Amaris pushed herself into a sitting position, arching her back in a stretch and grinning at the appreciate gaze he pinned on her bared breasts, "It simply means I will be answering a million questions from her tonight."

 

Not that Amaris minded. She was still in a sort of hazy post-orgasm bliss, mind somewhat muddled and body wonderfully limp and spent. Consequences of their multiple joinings, far from unwelcome despite the slight ache settling between her thighs.

 

Sex had not been her intention when she'd lead him to her chambers, but Amaris would never complain about the way they'd spent their time, learning each other's bodies.

 

Solas had more stamina then she'd have given him credit for; what had started as one time had quickly turned into two, then three, and honestly she'd lost count by the end of it, not sure where one orgasm had ended and another had begun.

 

She'd been a virgin, and _knew_ she would be sore for a time, but that wonderful feeling of being _full_ when he'd taken her, the connection and utter _adoration_ he'd showered her with, more than made up for a temporary ache.

 

_Thank Mythal I intended to take tomorrow off from missions, anyways._

 

"You are _drifting_ , vhenan," Solas brought her back to reality with a brush of his hand on her hip, sitting up so he could lean against her shoulder and nuzzled the skin with his nose, "Come, we must _clean_ ; I fear we are rather unpresentable at the moment."

 

"I rather _like_ our current state." Amaris murmured, lifting her hand to brush along his ear and smirking when he made a hungry noise and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap.

 

"You _tempt_ me, vhenan." he growled into her throat, one hand brushing her ass and his member already half-hard beneath her, "Our companions will think I've _kidnapped_ you if we linger any longer."

 

"You're right." Amaris sighed airily, lifting his head to kiss him sweetly, addicted to the easy intimacy blooming between them, "Let us wash then, vhenan, and join our friends. I must make sure I have someone come change the bedding, least poor Ayr have nightmares."

 

Solas through his head back and _laughed_ , form shaking even as he released her, "Ever thoughtful, Amaris, but yes. Let's not inflict _that_ torture on your cousin."

 

Amaris only smiled as she stood and held her hand out to him, leading him to the small room at the back of her chambers and opening the door.

 

She had had a small tub brought up once they had settled into Skyhold, one she could cast water into on the days she or Ayr did not want to make the lengthy trip to the barracks for a bath - or the days when their monthly bleeding snuck up on them.

 

Solas caught on when she began forming orbs of ice and placing them in the tub, following suit until they had filled it with crystalline balls.

 

Then Amaris let fire form around her hand - a magic she didn't use very often, asides from times like these - and lowered it into the ice, melting it and filling the tub with warm water.

 

They washed each other with cloths dipped in the water, exchanging tender kisses and brief touches all the while.

 

Two fluffy towels dried them off, and then they dressed quickly, straightening themselves out and clasping hands before leaving the chambers.

 

Amaris kept tight hold of Solas' hand even when they stepped out into the main hall, empty this time of night of anyone besides their companions at the main table.

 

Most had finished their dinner by this time, though a few still ate or drank, Bull laughing loudly at something Blackwall had said.

 

Ayr caught her eye as she moved to take her seat at the head of the table, Solas only releasing her hand so he could take his at her left.

 

Amaris winked at her cousin, Ayr's small grin telling her she _knew_ exactly what had happened and that she would be bothering her about it later.

 

Amaris caught one of the Keeps servants as she walked by, quietly asking "Could you please have someone go up to change the bedding in our rooms? It's gotten rather... _dirty_."

 

The servant looked confused but nodded, leaving to do as asked.

 

Amaris looked back at the table only to notice they were _all_ looking at her, some shooting glances between she and Solas and others just _smiling_.

 

Yet somehow, Amaris couldn't even bring herself to care, to happy in the knowledge that Solas was hers, and she was his.

 

"I apologize for my late entrance," she spoke easily, reaching for the platter still filled with vegetables, "I was rather _preoccupied_."

 

"N-no apologies necessary, Inquisitor." Cassandra stammered, and Amaris made a note to _tease_ her about that later.

 

Several of their companions left while Solas and Amaris had their meal, Ayr one of the last to excuse herself as she gave Amaris a look that said _we're talking later._

 

Varric was the last to leave, hesitating as he stood and glanced around, "There's, ah, something I wanted to talk to you about, Amaris."

 

"Oh?"

 

"I have a friend who's run into Corypheus before. I had a bit of trouble getting a message to her, but, well, she's _here_ now, and I'd like to introduce you."

 

Amaris had a funny feeling she knew who this _friend_ of Varric's was, but she kept her expression professional, "Of course. I'm always looking for new allies."

 

"Great, good. Uh, once you're done, if you don't mind...? We'll be up on the battlements, out of the way... it's hard to explain..."

 

"I'll be there shortly, Varric."

 

Varric nodded, seeming relieved, before stalking off out the main entrance, heading to the designated meeting spot.

 

"I dare say your evening is booked, Vhenan." Solas reached for her hand and caressed her knuckles with his thumb, lips twisted in amusement, "I am glad I was able to steal your afternoon."

 

"So it would seem. Although..." Amaris' grin was wry, "If Varric's brought who I _think_ he has, Cassandra may just kill him..."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

" _Please_ tell me you had the sheets changed."

 

" _Yes_ , Ayr, I had the sheets changed."

 

Ayr's grin widened, success glinting in her eyes, "I _knew_ you two had... y'know. _Knew_ it."

 

Amaris gave a dramatic sigh, rolling her eyes and putting the brush down on their vanity, " _Yes_ , Ayr, we did it. Solas and I had wonderful, passionate _sex_."

 

Ayr stuttered, cheeks flushing red even as realization dawned in Amaris' mind, taking in her younger cousins sudden embarrassment.

 

" _Ayr_. You've always been the brash one, remember? This stuff never _bothered_ you." Amaris crossed to crawl onto the bed beside the redhead, grinning wickedly, "Why _now_?"

 

"Well _excuse_ me if I'd rather not think about my cousin getting it on with her lover." Ayr huffed, crossing her arms and looking away, "Being a flirt is _one_ thing. Knowing details about someone _else's_ love life? Ick..."

 

" _I_ think it's because you've been having similar thoughts about a certain _Commander_..." Amaris murmured, watching Ayrs eyes go wide and her face go even redder.

 

"Not you _to_ , Amaris..."

 

"If _anyone_ has a right to tease you about your crush, Ayr, it's _me_." her expression changed then, one hand coming up to rest on Ayrs shoulder, "I really do think he returns the feelings, Ayr. _Talk_ to him."

 

"Moving on to less _depressing_ subjects..." Ayr grumbled, making Amaris frown at the utter depression in her voice, "The person Varric wanted you to meet... it was Hawke, wasn't it?"

 

Amaris sighed, flopping back on the pillows and blowing out the candle on her side as she thought back on the nights events. "Yes, and Cassandra found out and nearly punched Varric in the face. I had to separate them before they could actually _injure_ each other. Hawke is here to help, and I understand Varric's reasons for keeping her away..."

 

"But Cassandra blames him for not being able to find Hawke in the first place."

 

"That's the thing, I talked to them both afterwards and they _both_ regret the fight. They just won't _say_ anything to each other."

 

"I swear those two have feelings for each other, the way they act."

 

"Reminds me of another couple," Amaris mumbled, rolling her eyes at Ayr's dirty look, "Anyways, Hawke has a Warden contact that's been on the run from the other Wardens for ages. She said he's in Crestwood, and we're scheduled to meet up with him."

 

"How soon are you leaving?"

 

"Two days. I'll be around tomorrow."

 

"Then you can help me hunt down some more books?" Ayr asked hopefully, reaching to blow out her own candle and sending the room into darkness, "I'm finished the Hard in Hightown's that Varric has out currently and need _something_ to do."

 

"Oh, I think I can help find _something_ for you to do." Amaris answered easily, though her grin was missed by Ayr in the darkness.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Amaris' goals the next day were simple. She wanted to patch things up between Cassandra and Varric before they headed out again - as much as she _could_ , at least - and to _somehow_ get Ayr to spend more time with Cullen.

 

If she couldn't get her cousin to _vocalise_ her feelings yet, surely making them spend _time_ together would help.

 

The first opportunity came when she and Ayr made their way to Cassandra's usual training grounds to update the Seeker on their departure the next morning. Amaris had promised to spend the day with her cousin, since she'd be gone for a bit, and their next stop would likely be the library or the private study they had stumbled on in their original explorations of Skyhold.

 

Neither expected to catch the Seeker sitting on a nearby stump _reading_ , looking quite invested in the book.

 

Amaris put a finger to her lips and motioned to the warrior, Ayr grinning and nodding as they silently snuck up behind her.

 

Amaris leaned onto one foot to peer over her shoulder, innocently inquiring, "Good book?"

 

"Ah!" Cassandra was on her feet in an instant, book hidden desperately behind her back, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

 

"Wait..." Ayr stepped up beside her cousin, trying and failing to hide her grin, "Are you _blushing_?"

 

"What would _I_ have to blush about?!"

 

"You tell us." Amaris murmured, _almost_ feeling bad for startling the Seeker. Almost. Cassandra was her friend, and seeing her so flustered was _endearing_.

 

"It's of no interest to _you_ I'm certain." Cassandra tried to dodge, grimacing and retrieving it from where she'd - unknowingly, it seemed - dropped it, "It's... a book."

 

"We can _see_ that."

 

"It's... one of Varric's tales." Cassandra admitted, staring down at the object in her hand with both embarrassment and admiration, " _Swords and Shields_. The latest chapter."

 

"The latest chapter meaning... you've read them _all_?" Ayr pressed, honestly curious. She was, after all, looking for decent books to keep herself occupied.

 

"Not... since this all began. We've been busy."

 

"That's just her favorite!"

 

How Dorian always seemed to pop up without anyone noticing Amaris wasn't sure, but it was with great amusement that she watched Cassandra swing around and _glare_ at the man, pointing fervently, "Nobody _asked_ you, Tevinter!"

 

Dorian chuckled, passing by the Seeker and speaking over his shoulder as he shot Ayr a wink, "I couldn't _finish_ the last one you gave me. I actually feel _dumber_ for having tried!"

 

"Lend me that later, Dorian!" Ayr called after him, "I need more books!"

 

"If you _insist_ , dear heart!"

 

"It's _literature_." Cassandra defended, then winced, " _Smutty_ literature. Whatever you do, _don't_ tell Varric!"

 

The cousins shared a look, both grinning.

 

"Maybe _I_ should read that book." Amaris mused, Ayr laughing in agreement.

 

"You?!" Cassandra panicked, " _No_!"

 

"Why _not_ me? Surely you've realized I'm not an innocent little flower, Cassandra."

 

"You're... the _Inquisitor_."

 

_That_ made Amaris laugh outright, "Oh, I _see_."

 

"They're _terrible_ ," Cassandra groaned, looking conflicted, "And... _magnificent._ And... _this_ one ends in a cliff-hanger! I know Varric is working on the next, he _must_ be!"

 

A look of realization dawned on the Seekers face, eyes on Amaris, "You... you could ask him to finish it! _Command_ him to-" then her expression closed, body stiff as she turned away from them, "Pretend you don't know this about me."

 

A silent message passed between the cousins as Cassandra returned to her stump and her book, the two quietly turning and all but racing back to the Keep, trying to keep their excitement under bay.

 

Varric's response was as hilarious as they expected.

 

"I... think I misheard you." the dwarf began, eyebrows lifted high, "I thought I heard you say Cassandra likes my writing and you want me to finish the next chapter of my _worst_ serial for her."

 

"That about sums it up." Ayr quipped, smiling widely.

 

"She's a _big_ fan, Varric," Amaris prompted, "And... this could help patch things up a bit, y'know? I understand it'll take time to finish writing it, but-"

 

"It's finished, actually." Varric cut her off, expression becoming one of amused bewilderment, "I have a copy ready to go to editing, I just... never intended to _publish_ it. Didn't bring in enough coin, and it really is _terrible._ Romance is _not_ my forte... _but_ , if only to see the look on the Seekers face... you _have_ to let me give it to her."

 

"Sounds fair to me."

 

"Great. Let me go grab the copy and I'll meet you down by her stomping grounds." Varric was chuckling to himself as he went, shaking his head, "Andraste's ass, this is gonna be _good_."

 

Ayr and Amaris wasted no time heading back down to the courtyard, though they remained out of Cassandra's sight until Varric arrived.

 

When they approached her, her response was expected, "What have you done _now_ , Varric?"

 

"Iiii get it, Seeker," Varric drawled, taking a half step back, "You're still _sore_ after our spat."

 

"I am not a _child_ , Varric! Do not suggest I am without reason!" Cassandra snapped.

 

Momentarily stumped, Varric cleared his throat, trying again, "A _peace_ offering. The next chapter of Swords and Shields. I hear you're a _fan_."

 

He held the book out to her, and for a moment Cassandra looked flabbergasted.

 

Then her expression closed, accusing gaze going to the elves listening from a bit behind Varric, "This is _your_ doing, isn't it?"

 

"We were hoping you'd be _happy_ about it," Amaris tried to soothe, unable to stop smiling.

 

"Well... if you're not interested, you're not interested, " Varric shrugged, turning to walk away, "Still needs editing, anyhow..."

 

Cassandra's stony expression broke, hands shooting up desperately, " _Wait_!"

 

Varric's grin was smug as he paused, half turning towards her, "You're probably wondering what happened to the _knight-captain_ after the last chapter?"

 

" _Nothing_ should happen to her! She was falsely accused!"

 

" _Wellll_ , it turns out the cardsman-"

 

Cassandra was behind him in two long strides, yanking the book from his grasp and hugging it to her chest, "Don't _tell_ me!"

 

Varric cleared his throat, crossing his arms and giving her a pointed look, "This is the part where you _thank_ Amaris and Ayr. I don't normally give sneak peeks, after all."

 

"I..." Cassandra seemed to steel herself, taking a deep breath before turning around and _beaming_ , the brightest smile they'd ever seen from her, " _Thank you_ , both of you."

 

" _Varric's_ the one you should be thanking." Amaris grinned.

 

Varric gave a half bow even as he turned to leave, still smirking smugly, "I am but a _humble servant_ to my loyal readers."

 

"Thanks for the newest _Hard in Hightown_ by the way, Varric; Cullen said you gave it to him for me."

 

"No problem, firecracker. Need _something_ to keep you from going crazy."

 

Cassandra wasn't hearing them anymore, it seemed; she was staring happily down at the book, almost reverent, "I wonder if I have time to read the first part..."

 

"You have all day." Amaris promised, happy to have made her friend happy - and _slightly_ patch things up between she and Varric - before explaining, "We set out for Crestwood tomorrow, enjoy your time today."

 

"Thank you, Inquisitor." Cassandra paused, then glanced at Ayr, a bit of a glint to her gaze, "Ayr, Dorian has the first in the series. You should get it from him. It may... _help_ you."

 

"Meaning...?"

 

"Nothing. I am simply looking out for my friends, that is all."

 

"Even _you_ , Cassandra?" the redhead groaned, crossing her arms and huffing, "You're all _crazy_ , you know that?"

 

The Seeker _snorted_ , a strange sound coming from the usually stoic woman, "I know the Commander better than _any_ of you, Ayr; he is a good friend. And he would not waste his attentions on someone he did not _care_ about." she made a shooing motion with her hand, ignoring the bewildered stare of the elf, "Now shoo, I have a book to read."

 

"Come on, cuz," Amaris took Ayr by the arm and gently lead her back towards the keep, though she was grinning, "Let's find Dorian and get that book from him. Maybe we should _both_ read it."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The afternoon was spent hunting down books for Ayr going over minor arrangements for the coming days.

 

As good as his word, Dorian procured the first issue of _Swords and Shields_ for them, and the cousins managed to get through two chapters before dissolving into giggle fits.

 

Varric had been right, romance really _wasn't_ his forte.

 

"I think..." Amaris gasped, shoulders shaking from laughter, "We shall have to _save_ this to read together, Ayr."

 

"Agreed!" Ayr snickered, shaking her head, " _Now_ I understand Cassandra's _blush_!"

 

The novel was left in their private study for the time being, but it posed a problem; they hadn't been able to find any other books for Ayr.

 

The redhead shrugged as they headed for dinner that evening, seeming much more nonchalant about it then Amaris had expected.

 

"I'll figure something out. Maybe I can help with the repairs."

 

"You're supposed to be _resting,_ Ayr," Amaris chided, noting the people already at the table and that the Commander - as always - was missing.

 

"I'm _grounded_ , but off bed rest, remember? But I promise I'll try to behave, Amaris."

 

"Good." Amaris paused then, waving Ayr on when she looked back, "Go ahead, I need to grab something first."

 

Ayr lifted a brow but nodded, heading for her usual spot beside Dorian as Amaris quietly backtracked to the rotunda.

 

Solas met her halfway through the room - reaching out to pull her close and humming in surprise when she dodged his grip - expression shifting into wicked knowing as she put a finger to her lips and continued to the _other_ door.

 

The one that led to Cullen's office.

 

"I will meet you at dinner then, _vhenan_." she heard him chuckle before stepping out onto the path, wind blowing her hair from her eyes.

 

Amaris crossed quickly to the chamber at the end, barely knocking before swinging the door open.

 

Cullen had been bent over his desk, brow furrowed and eyes closed as though in pain, but he straightened immediately when she entered, surprise and weariness reflecting in his eyes.

 

"Is everything alright, Inquisitor?" he asked calmly, ever the Commander, and Amaris found herself wanting to repeat the words.

 

Instead, she tried to seem _imposing_ , lifting her chin with a sort of half-smirk, "It is dinner time, Commander. We leave for Crestwood in the morning, and I should rather like to have _all_ of my advisors at dinner tonight."

 

"Of course, Inquisitor. I was just finishing some paperwork-"

 

" _Ayr_ would love to have you join us, I'm sure."

 

The change was immediate; his posture relaxed, his words died away, and his expression brightened, lips open in quiet exhale of surprise.

 

Amaris had to tamp down a smirk. He was _so_ gone.

 

"Let's... not keep them waiting, then."

 

They talked quietly during their walk back to the Keep proper, going over plans for Amaris' departure in the morning and mentioning the progress of construction.

 

The moment their stepped into the main hall Cullen's attention shifted, and Amaris knew without looking that he was focused on Ayr.

 

She took her reserved seat at the head of the table, Solas to her left, and noticed with a hint of glee that the only seat left was to her right, between she and Ayr.

 

_Go team!_ she cheered silently, turning to Solas and batting her eyes innocently, drawing an amused chuckle from her lover.

 

"It's a _miracle_." she heard Ayr drawl from beside the Commander, wide-eyed and grinning, "Are you _ill_ , Commander? Let me feel your forehead, you _must_ be sick if you're joining us for dinner-"

 

"I'm _fine_ , Ayr, Amaris asked me to-" Cullen's words died in surprise when she really _did_ lean forwards and pressed her palm to his forehead, golden eyes staring at the redhead in surprise.

 

Ayr was frowning, eyeing him as she pulled her hand away, "You _are_ rather warm, Cullen. Are you sure you're _not_ sick?"

 

"What? No. No, I'm fine. I've always run rather hot, temperature wise." Cullen winced under her scrutinizing stare, a flinch sneaking through as he rubbed at the back of his neck, "Perfectly fine.

 

A sort of _knowing_ lit in Ayrs eyes then, realization and worry erasing any amusement. "Do you _need_ anything?"

 

"I'll be fine." Cullen's response was soft, the scar on his lip pulling as he almost _smiled_ , "Nothing a half decent night's sleep can't help."

 

"Inquisitor." Cassandra's voice cut through Amaris' none-too-subtle spying, meeting the warriors knowing look with one of her own, "When do we leave tomorrow?"

 

"At first light." Amaris answered easily, lifting her cup with an easy smile, "Tonight, friends, enjoy the meal! From the tales of Crestwood, I think we'll have our work cut out for us!"

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"Hold up a minute, firecracker. I've, uh... got something for you."

 

Ayr - mid-yawn and just about to disappear through the outer door of she and Amaris' chambers -  paused and turned back towards the dwarf, managing a half smile.

 

" _Another_ book, Varric?" she murmured, pleased, "You are _to kind_ , and one of the things keeping me _sane_ while I'm stuck in Skyhold."

 

Varric chuckled, shaking his head, " _Two_ books, actually. Though they're rather... _different_ from each other."

 

Ayr was incredibly sleepy and ready to flop into bed, but Varric's words woke her up slightly, curious as to what was making him act both excited and anxious.

 

Amaris had gone to spend time with Solas before bed - they would have plenty of time together while out adventuring, but hadn't spent much time _that_ day, since Ayr had claimed her cousins time.

 

"Spill, Varric. Which books are these?"

 

"The first is the _Tale of the Champion_. Most people've read it by now, but I figured it couldn't hurt to lend you it."

 

"I _haven't_ read it, actually," Ayr's eyes lit up, hands already reaching for the tomes cradled in the dwarfs grip, "It'll be good while I'm stuck here, I'm sure. What about the second one?"

 

"The second one... well." Varric cleared his throat, almost _shoving_ the two books into her hands, "It only had a _limited_ run. _Very_ limited. Not my usual genre, mostly written to prove I _could_... you might enjoy it. Oh," he seemed _incredibly_ anxious then, "Just... _don't_ let Curly know you have it, or that you're reading it. Just... don't even let him _see_ it."

 

Ayr's eyebrows shot up, intrigued by the warning even as her mind wanted to shut off for the night, "Why....?"

 

"Just... don't tell him about it. He may _kill_ me for giving it to you, and I rather _enjoy_ living." Varric winked, turning and sauntering off with a wave over his shoulder, "See yah around, firecracker; remember what I said!"

 

"Ayr, ready for bed?"

 

Ayr _jumped_ at Amaris' voice to her right, gaze whipping to the concerned blue of her cousins.

 

"Are you alright?"

 

"Fine, sorry, you just _scared_ me." Ayr hugged the books to her chest, not even chancing looking at the second one while Amaris was nearby, "I am _exhausted_."

 

"Mhm. I won't wake you in the morning, if I can help it." Amaris pushed the door open, letting her cousin in first before following after, "We're leaving at first light, and I _know_ you haven't been sleeping great. So don't worry about getting up with us in the morning, alright?"

 

"If you say so, Amaris." Ayr deposited the books on her - now empty, since she'd finished the rest - nightstand, making sure to keep the second _secret_ book underneath the Tale of the Champion.

 

" _Do_ try to keep out of trouble while I'm gone, Ayr," Amaris requested, lips curling as she climbed into bed and blew out the candle, "Unless that trouble has to do with _talking to certain Commanders_ , of course."

 

"Good _night_ , Amaris," Ayr grumbled, blowing out her own candle as the blonde began to laugh.

 

"Good night, Ayr. Sweet dreams."


	7. Captivated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayr pretends that she knows how to play chess.
> 
> Cullen gets sick and Ayr force-feeds him.
> 
> And the two idiots get closer to actually ADMITTING to something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead guys! Still not as crazy long as chapter two, but decently long! But I got everything in I wanted to, so woot!
> 
> I will admit, you barely see Amaris and Solas in this chapter. It's all Ayr x Cullen bonding. Aka Ayr forcing Cullen to eat because he's an idiot who can't look after himself. But I digress.
> 
> The book is revealed! And I hope the wait was worth it! 
> 
> ...you guys are going to kill me for the end I'm sorry.

As Amaris had promised, she didn't wake Ayr up before setting out the next morning, merely wishing her cousin silent good luck as she rode out with Solas, Cassandra and Varric in tow.

 

Ayr woke late in the morning, yawning and blinking in the light streaming in through the open balcony doors, taking a moment to process that she was alone in the room.

 

Then she sighed and set about getting dressed, running her fingers briefly though her hair to sort out any knots and pulling her boots on with quick, practiced motions.

 

She felt rather down, but that was typical; even back with the clan, anytime Amaris had gone away for anything she'd felt depressed at first, used to her cousins constant presence.

 

Ayr stifled the feeling by grabbing the _Tale of the Champion_ \- still not looking to closely at the second book, keeping it as a sort of surprise for herself - and exiting the empty chambers, letting the door slam shut behind her.

 

She snatched a leftover frilly cake from the main table - one of Josephine's favorites, if she remembered right, - and headed up to the library, snagging a plush chair in Dorian's usual corner and curling up to read.

 

Dorian himself eventually appeared, taking the seat near her and devouring a novel of his own - a rather more factual text, although hers was _technically_ about true events. Technically - while occasionally throwing comments back and forth.

 

Fiona paused for a few words, and Vivienne made an appearance about mid afternoon, wearing a sly grin as she casually informed Ayr that they would need to take _measurements_ for the formal wear for Halamshiral soon, indicating that the elf would be needing to go through the torture.

 

"Can't I just skip out?" Ayr grumbled after the mage had left, hiding her face in her book, "Not my type of event..."

 

"You're not interested in seeing the Winter Palace, dear heart?"

 

"I guess, but a ball? Ugh..."

 

"We'll _all_ be in formal wear, dear Ayr; you'll get to see our dashing Commander all dressed up! Won't that be nice?"

 

Ayr was too busy hiding how red her face had gotten behind her book to respond.

 

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

When they went down to dinner that night, Ayr wasn't surprised to see Cullen missing. She was, however, prepared.

 

Placing the tray she'd procured from the kitchen down on the table, she set about loading it up with things she thought he might like; meat and potatoes, vegetables, two mugs of ale and a couple of desserts. Ayr ignored the looks the others were giving her - get a _life_ people, seriously - as she hefted the full tray and walked away without a word, headed for the rotunda.

 

Cullen had taken care of her when she was sick; she would force-feed his stubborn ass if she had to.

 

Some well-timed spells made quick work of the doors in her way - _gently_ knocking them open, she swore - and soon enough she was padding across the bridge to his office, nerves growing with every step.

 

Ayr didn't even pause to attempt a knock, fearing she may still chicken out; she flung the spell and stepped in as the door opened, calling "Heads up, incoming!"

 

Cullen didn't have the chance to hide the way he'd been bent over his desk and, unlike Amaris, Ayr knew _exactly_ what that grimace and the dark circles under his eyes meant.

 

"Working yourself to death is _not_ a good goal, Commander." Ayr drawled dryly, eyebrows up and lips pursed to let him know she was _not_ pleased, "Seriously, have you _slept_?"

 

"I'm _fine_ , Ayr," Cullen tried to mask the weariness in his voice and failed miserably, running a hand through his hair with a tired exhale, "Was there something you needed?"

 

"Uh, yeah. I'm _feeding_ you."

 

Cullen's eyes popped open then, startled, "Pardon?"

 

Ayr stared right back, stepping closer to the desk as her arms began to ache under their burden, "I brought you _dinner_. Because rumor is you're an idiot who forgets to _eat_ pretty regularly."

 

Golden eyes dropped to the tray laden with food as though seeing it for the first time, mouth working silently as he seemed to process her words and the sight. Then he swallowed - a motion Ayr zeroed in on guiltily - and licked his lips, "You didn't have to _do_ that, Ayr-"

 

"Well I _did_ , and this tray is _heavy_ , so unless you want it crushing your precious paperwork, _please_ shift some stuff out of the way."

 

Cullen immediately cleared the corner of his desk for her, Ayr setting the tray down as soon as she could and sighing in relief when the weight was gone.

 

"Good, okay, now let's see...." Ayr glanced around the room and immediately scowled; she hadn't been to his office before, and she didn't like what she saw, "Cullen, _seriously_?"

 

The Commander winced - whether from her tone or further Lyrium pains, she wasn't sure - and rubbed at the back of his neck, "What?"

 

"You have a giant desk, but no chair."

 

"I prefer to stand while looking over reports or writing letters."

 

"You have a couch but it's covered in dust-cloths and _timber-_ "

 

"I haven't had time to clear it off, and I never use it besides. Ayr, it's _fine-_ "

 

"-and there's debris littered everywhere! How have you not _tripped_ yet? And what's with the _ladder_?"

 

Cullen was muttering under his breath, scrubbing a hand over his face, "That would lead to my bed-chambers above us."

 

Ayr froze momentarily at the thought of Cullen _sleeping_ up there - _don't blush don't blush_ \- before confusion outweighed the embarrassment, "You're the _Commander of the Inquisition_ , yet you sleep in a loft above your office? Shouldn't you have grand apartments in the main Keep?"

 

"I chose this tower specifically because it _has_ a loft, actually," Cullen lowered his hand and gave her a half-grin, one that tugged at his scar and made her heart flip, "It's close by my office, and easily accessed from the main Keep. More than that, though, I have _privacy_ here. And honestly, after spending most of my life with the Templars and living in close quarters with other people, having my own space is a blessing."

 

_Privacy is good. No one would hear a thing-_

"But you have nowhere to sit and _relax_ ," Ayr argued, shoving that wicked little voice away and fighting back a blush, "Or to sit and _eat_ , for that matter."

 

"It's fine, Ayr-"

 

"It is _not_ fine!" she snapped, sincerely frustrated by how little he cared for his own health when he was so careful with everyone else's, "And if I have to fix it myself, Mythal help me, I will!"

 

"What are you-"

 

Ayr wasn't listening anymore, too caught up in her anger - anger at him for having so little disregard, and anger at _herself_ for getting so worked up about it. But damn him, he was becoming _important_ to her, and she didn't want him getting worse!

 

So despite his assurances that it was _fine_ , and his startled exclamation when he realized her intention, Ayr took hold of several pieces of debris and _yanked_ them off the couch, intending to head for the furthest door - the right side of the office, facing the un-used portion of the battlements.

 

Cullen met her halfway, shock and concern and - what was that, _admiration?_ naw - warring on his face, " _Ayr_ , you're still _injured_ , you need to take it easy-"

 

Ayr got _right_ in his face then - green eyes flaming as they locked with gold - as she ground out "Then _help. me._ "

 

That one prompt was all it took; Cullen crossed back to the couch without a word and gathered _all_ of the remaining debris into his arms, trudging past her out the door and dumping it all onto her tiny pile.

 

Ayr only stepped back and watched him work as he cleared the rest of the timber and junk from the space, eyebrows up and mouth a little dry. _Just how strong **is** he? Creators..._

 

The thought that there might be some debris up in the loft briefly crossed her mind, but _then_ her brain wanted to wander into dangerous territory and she shook her head, trying to dislodge it.

 

"There. Will that _suffice_ , Lady Ayr?" Cullen's words - spoken in a teasing and almost _flirtatious_ voice - cut through her mental dilemma, eyes snapping open to lock on the man.

 

He was _smirking_ , looking incredibly proud of himself despite the dark circles still ringing his eyes, and Ayr glanced around, noting how much _bigger_ the space seemed now.

 

"I believe it will, _Commander_ ," she teased back, crossing to the couch and whipping the dust-cloth off with a flourish, happy to see the object itself was in good shape and clean, "And there, now you have a couch! Was that so hard?"

 

Ayr heard him chuckle and mumble something along the lines of _pushy redheads_ as she manoeuvred around his desk and grabbed the small table - thankfully empty, likely meant as a side table - from behind it, sticking it in front of the couch and then retrieving the tray of food from the desk, happy when it fit perfectly on the make-shift platform.

 

"Dinner time." she announced firmly, planting her hands on her hips and _daring_ him to say otherwise.

 

Cullen only lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender, crossing to sit on the couch and staring at the platter for a moment, eyebrows lifting, "Ayr, have _you_ eaten yet?"

 

Realizing he was eyeing the _two_ mugs of ale she'd brought, Ayr flushed, stammering, "No, I'd thought... if you'd rather not have company, I can go back-"

 

"Stay." the word was practically a command, spoken in a quick, gruff voice, before Cullen shifted his eyes to her, just the _hint_ of a smile on his lips, "Stay, please. Eating alone... I would rather have company."

 

_Mythal help me._ Ayr prayed silently even as she smiled, somehow finding the strength to sit beside him on the couch.

 

They were as far from each other as they could be - each sitting at the very end - and yet Ayr would swear she could feel the heat of him, the shift of the couch with each movement, the exhale of every breath that passed his lips-

 

_Stop it Ayr, you're going to drive yourself mad._

 

"So..." Ayr reached for one of the mugs, unable to take the silence, "What has you looking so grim _tonight_ , Commander?"

 

Talk of work was _safe_ , as was using his title. Especially with how her mind wanted to run with the fact that they were _alone_...

 

"I found out where the Red Templars come from, and the man behind them." Cullen paused to take a bite of meat - ram, Ayr thought it was - before scowling, "They were fed red Lyrium until they turned into monsters. _Sampson_ took over once their corruption was complete."

 

"How do you know Sampson?" Ayr questioned around a mouthful of potato, remembering his recognition back at Haven.

 

"He was a Templar in Kirkwall, until he was _expelled_ from the Order. I knew he was an addict, but _this_..."

 

Cullen trailed off for a moment, taking a long swig of ale and reaching for more meat, clearly hungry despite his earlier protests.

 

"I'm sure you've noticed, Red Lyrium is _nothing_ like the Lyrium given by the chantry. It's power comes with a _terrible_ madness."

 

"I noticed." Ayr mumbled, tucking her legs beneath her on the couch and frowning down at her mug, "The Red Templars swarming Haven were proof enough."

 

"We cannot allow them to gain strength. The Red Templars still require Lyrium. If we find their source, we can weaken them, _and_ their leader... which is what I was working on when you barged in."

 

"Says the man who is _devouring_ his dinner," Ayr rolled her eyes, giving him a look, "So... where do we begin?"

 

"I've received word that caravans of Red Lyrium are being smuggled along trade routes, most notably in the Emerald Graves. Investigating them could lead us to where it's being mined."

 

"Well, Amaris is busy with Hawke, and I'm grounded. But perhaps some of the others could look into the leads, lest the trails go cold?" Ayr suggested, "We just need to warn them to be careful; sending them on missions would likely keep them out of _trouble_ around here."

 

"You make a good point, Ayr," Cullen actually managed a _smile_ , the soft look in his eyes making her breath catch, "I think I will do that."

 

" _Tomorrow_."

 

A sigh, "Yes, Ayr, _tomorrow_. Now that you've _fed_ me - which... I did need, thank you - I feel as though I might be able to sleep."

 

"Might?" Ayr echoed, "Do you have trouble sleeping, Cullen?"

 

Cullen only tried to wave the question off - wincing and rubbing at his neck again, making Ayr wonder what pained him so - with a self-depreciating smirk, "Nothing to worry about. Just nightmares."

 

"Because of...?"

 

Cullen nodded, his eyes locked on the almost empty tray, and Ayr's heart dropped. She wanted to help - wanted to make him feel better - but she didn't know how.

 

"Remember what I said, Cullen," she mumbled quietly, green eyes watching him, "If it ever gets to be too much, _tell_ me. Let me help."

 

"Are you going to beat my nightmares up for me, Ayr?" he joked, chuckling quietly.

 

"Why not? I'm a mage - wandering the Fade while I sleep is second nature." Ayr grinned then, punching her palm, "I'll come scare the beasties away."

 

_Now_ Cullen laughed - a real, hearty laugh - that lightened her heart and made her smile wider, already addicted to the sound.

 

"Feisty little Firecracker," he mumbled with a smile, gaze soft as he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, "Thank you, Ayr."

 

Ayr had frozen at the touch, eyes flying wide and face turning red, lips parted in surprise.

 

Cullen seemed to come back to himself and snatched his hand away, coughing uncomfortably and looking back at the tray.

 

"I-I should get the tray back to the kitchens," Ayr managed to stammer after several awkward seconds had passed, standing and grabbing said object from its perch, "Make sure you _sleep_ tonight, Cullen, or at least _try-_ "

 

"Ayr."

 

Cullen's voice stopped her mid-way to the door, his tone calm but almost _pleading_ , making her glance hesitantly back at him over her shoulder.

 

He was leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped easily and gaze fixed on her, glowing gold in the dim light from his torches, "Will you... join me for dinner again, tomorrow night?"

 

Heart leaping, Ayr managed a smile, grip on the tray tightening, "I'll join you for dinner every night that I'm here, Cullen. If only so I can be sure you _eat_."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Ayr woke _incredibly_ late the next day, glaring irritably at the brighter-than-usual sun and wondering why she couldn't remember her dreams.

 

As she'd told Cullen, she was a mage; Fade walking in her sleep was second nature. So why didn't she remember anything from her time there? Strange.

 

Brushing the worries aside, Ayr dressed for the day and headed for the library to find Dorian, leaving her book as she was honestly rather sick of reading - for now, anyways.

 

And yet Dorian wasn't in the library.

 

It was strange, and very unlike him to _not_ be there, combing through Skyhold's collections to see if they had _any_ decent books on Tevinter. Yet here she was, standing in his usual nook of the room, no sign of the other mage anywhere.

 

So Ayr began to wander, not really sure what _else_ to do.

 

She _did_ pause first to check in with Leliana, wondering if there had been any word back from she and Amaris' clan yet.

 

"Not yet, I'm afraid," the Spymaster pursed her lips, seeming concerned, "It _has_ been quite a while, hasn't it? I will have someone look into it, my lady."

 

"Thank you, Leliana. Let me know if you _do_ hear something?"

 

"Of course."

 

After that, Ayr headed to she and Amaris' study, thinking maybe she would try to read a bit more of the hilarious smut novel Dorian had lent them, but she was barely in the door when the thought fled completely, since it wouldn't be as _fun_ without Amaris.

 

Bull and the Chargers were likely drinking, as usual. Sera wasn't an option. Cole was probably _helping_ wherever he could. Blackwall would be training, and she was not going _anywhere_ near Vivienne until this whole formal-wear debacle was over.

 

Maybe Cullen would be-

 

_Stop. Stop **right there**. Do **not** go there, Ayr! He's busy! **Busy**! He's the Commander of the Inquisition! He doesn't have time to entertain you!_

 

Shoulders slumping, Ayr sighed and headed for the gardens, figuring she could at least check on the Elfroot they'd planted ages ago-

 

-and nearly stumbling down the steps in shock when her gaze landed on the gazebo. Or rather, the two people _in_ the gazebo.

 

Cullen and Dorian were staring each other down from their seats across from each other - Cullen focused, with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped near his chin, Dorian relaxed and leaning back in his chair, legs crossed at the ankles - apparently in the middle of some heated _game_.

 

Ayr crept closer, wanting to inspect the strange situation but not to _interrupt_. Not _yet_ , at least.

 

 She'd never seen Dorian and Cullen together; not playing board games together like old friends, anyways.

 

_Mythal help me, Dorian better not have told him anything!_

_Slowly_ edging towards them, Ayr eyed the game board - which she recognized vaguely as Chess - while pricking her ears to catch their conversation, insanely curious.

 

"Gloat all you like, I _have_ this one." she caught Cullen saying, sounding rather more _assured_ then usual; it was a tone he seemed to reserve for battles and rallying troops.

 

"Are you _sassing_ me, Commander?" Dorian's eyebrows lifted, mustache curled in amusement, "I didn't know you had it in you!"

 

Cullen scowled, grumbling even as he reached for another piece, "Why do I even..."

 

Ayr took another careful step forwards, but she'd miscalculated her moves; Cullen's eyes darted to her suddenly, widening as he dropped the piece and half rose from his seat, "Ayr-!"

 

"Leaving, are you?" Dorian purred, smirking, "Does this mean _I_ win?"

 

Cullen shot him a look before resuming his seat, gaze still sneaking to Ayr.

 

Guilt eating her, Ayr abandoned her attempt at stealth and stepped up onto the gazebo, crossing her arms and considering the two men with a small grin, "Please, don't stop on my account. I didn't mean to _interrupt_."

 

Cullen's focus was on the board once more, gaze determined, "Alright, your move."

 

Dorian rolled his eyes at Ayr, reaching for a piece on the board, "You need to come to terms with my _inevitable_ victory. You'll feel _much_ better."

 

The mage set his piece down, and Ayr watched as something akin to _victory_ flashed in the Commander's eyes, a smug smirk tugging at his lips. "Really?" he pressed, quickly shifting another piece and leaning back to examine it, "Because I just _won_ , and I feel _fine_."

 

"Don'tget _smug_ ," Dorian warned, spinning himself in the chair and rising to his feet, "There will be no living with you!"

 

Cullen - still looking rather pleased with himself, an expression Ayr found herself drawn to - sighed and turned towards her again, still grinning, "I should return to my duties as well. Unless..." he leaned forwards, motioning invitingly to the game board and now vacant seat, "... _you_ would care for a game, Ayr?"

 

Even as she realized how _bad_ of any idea this was - since she had _no idea_ how to play chess - Ayr grinned and nodded, her competitive nature rising to the task, "Prepare the board, Commander."

 

Cullen's eyes lit up, and he set to rearranging the pieces, talking as he did, "I used to play this with my sister. She would get this stuck up grin whenever she won, which was _all_ the time. My brother and I practiced together for _weeks_ ; the look on her face, the day I finally won..."

 

Voice drifting off, he frowned, leaning back in his seat to stare down at the ready board, "Between serving the Templars and the Inquisition, I haven't seen them in years... I wonder if she still plays..."

 

"You mentioned your siblings before," Ayr murmured, remembering the conversation they'd had at Haven - _ages_ ago it felt like, when they had just begun to play nice, - and wanting more details, "How many did  you have again?"

 

"Three. Two sisters, and a brother." Cullen reached out and moved a piece, beginning the game. Ayr listened intently even as she studied the board, trying to not seem _to_ obvious in her confusion, "Mia's the eldest, then me, Branson and Rosalie."

 

"Where are they now?" Ayr grabbed a piece at random and shifted it onto the board, trying to mimic positions she'd seen Dorian's pieces in.

 

"They moved to South Reach after the Blight. As I said, I do not write to them as often as I should." Cullen moved another piece, his easy confidence in his moves amazing her, "Speaking of which, have you heard from your Clan yet?"

 

"No." Ayr bit her lip, hesitantly moving a piece onto the board and wondering how bad a move it had been when Cullen's eyebrows lifted, "I asked Leliana a bit ago. I'm sure the letters just gotten waylaid."

 

"I'm sure you're right." Cullen agreed, shifting another piece, "Perhaps I will write to Mia tonight, if I get the chance. I _should_ let her know I survived Haven, after all."

 

"Maybe _I_ should write to your sister," Ayr couldn't help teasing, picking a completely random piece and sticking it on the board, mostly just enjoying his expressions at her moves, "'Dear Mia, your brother is still a workaholic who forgets to eat or look after himself because he's too busy looking after everyone else. Don't worry, he's still alive because we force feed him'. Or something like that."

 

"It would be nothing she hasn't heard before," Cullen chuckled, shifting his piece and claiming one of hers in a move she _definitely_ didn't understand, "Perhaps you _should_ write that letter."

 

"Don't tempt me." Ayr grinned, moving another random piece and _wincing_ at a sudden thought, "Somehow I don't think your sister would like me, though, better not."

 

"Actually, I think she would rather _like_ you." Cullen's voice had gone soft, golden gaze fixed on her even as he stole another of her pieces, "I think _all_ my siblings would, honestly."

 

"Oh." was all Ayr could manage, voice practically a squeak as she stared at him, eyes wide and face flushed, the tips of her ears burning red.

 

She ducked her head after a moment, staring determinedly at the game board and licking her lips to try and think of _something_ to say, completely thrown off, yet again, by his easy comments.

 

Ayr shifted another random piece and chanced a glance at him, noting _he_ looked a little flushed himself, "Your turn."

 

Cullen nodded, and they continued in that fashion for a while, neither saying anything, falling into a rather comfortable silence.

 

Finally, though, Ayr couldn't keep it up any longer, especially with the confusion Cullen was trying so hard to hide.

 

"Okay, I give up," she sighed, shifting so her legs were tucked beneath her on the seat, "I have _no_ idea how to play chess."

 

"I suspected," Cullen seemed rather amused, one eyebrow lifted, "You've just been moving random pieces, haven't you?"

 

"You got me. I've seen it played once or twice, but never had the chance to learn."

 

"I could teach you, if you like. Though it is not a game learned overnight."

 

"Why, _Commander_ ," Ayr purred, trying to catch _him_ off guard this time, "It almost sounds like you _want_ to spend more time together!"

 

"Perhaps I do." came the easy response, leaving her flabbergasted even as he clasped his hands and _grinned_ at her over them, _something_ lurking in the depths of his eyes, "If, of course, _you'd_ be interested...?"

 

"I do. I mean I am. I mean-" Ayr stumbled, eager and terrified and so very, _very_ tongue tied, "I would. Like that. Please."

 

She couldn't read his expression then, not the smile he wore or the look in his eyes, and her gaze dropped to the board to watch his hands as he rearranged it, unable to take the heat of his stare any longer.

 

"Shall we begin, then?" she heard him mumble, voice low and tinged with something she couldn't - _wouldn't_ \- put a name to. Not yet.

 

"Let's." Ayr managed in a whisper.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The next two afternoons were spent much the same - asides from Ayr looking for Dorian and stumbling upon them in the gardens.

 

She and Cullen had agreed on set times to meet at the gazebo, and Ayr had continued to make good on her promise of bringing him dinner both nights.

 

Three days after Amaris and her entourage had left for Crestwood, they sent a letter that they would not be returning immediately to Skyhold and would instead be going straight to the Western Approach.

 

_Need to disrupt Venatori plot before it goes any further. Lots to tell. Will explain once we're back._

 

There wasn't much more detail in the letter then that, but considering the chance of it being lost or snatched on the way, the less the better.

 

That morning had also seen the departure of the second group to the Emerald Graces to catch the Caravans, leaving just after the sun had risen.

 

"Fret not, Ayr, we will return as quickly as we can," Dorian had assured her, stealing a fond hug from the elf before heading out; Bull, Sera, and Cole were his companions for this mission, the Qunari eager for action, the rogue _more_ than willing to spend time outside the Keep, and Cole... well, who knows why Cole did anything he did, really.

 

So Ayr bid them farewell and retrieved the _Tale of the Champion_ from her rooms, only about half-way through and figuring she'd may as well read until it was time to meet Cullen.

 

When the time finally _did_ come, she headed out to the Gardens in a much better mood then the morning's - one that dropped when she caught sight of the empty gazebo, surprised.

 

Cullen usually beat her there - the man was early on principle - and yet now it stood empty, the chess board bare and untouched.

 

_Maybe something came up and he's running late._ Ayr reasoned, crossing to the table and taking her usual seat, flipping back to where she'd left off in the book, _I'll wait a bit, he should be here soon._

 

Ten minutes passed, then twenty, then half an hour. Finally, when she'd sat there waiting for almost an hour, Ayr snapped her book shut and stood, marching off in the direction of the Commanders office.

 

Ayr was still rather miffed as she approached the door, prepared to fling it open and demand answers when voices from within made her pause, hand hovering over the handle.

 

Cullen's was the main voice she caught, issuing orders and going over reports from what were _obviously_ soldiers in his office.

 

She edged the door open just a _sliver_ , just enough to be able to hear better.

 

Cullen barked one last order, the soldiers responding in a chorus of 'Yes, ser!'s before pounding feet and a slamming door told her they'd left - out the other door, as she'd expected, since the soldiers rarely used the path between his office and the rotunda.

 

Ayr pushed the door open fully and stepped inside then, anger snuffed the moment she laid eyes on him. Once more Cullen stood over his desk, hands braced on the surface littered with documents and letters. His eyes were shut, teeth clenched, expression one of pain and exhaustion.

 

Her heart went to him, Ayr taking a tentative step forwards, "Cullen?"

 

Stiffening, Cullen's eyes shot open, hazy gold locking on her after a moment of confusion, "Ayr? Makers breath, what time is it? I should have-"

 

"Cullen!" Ayr saw him falter and was moving instantly, book dropping to the ground with a _thump_ as she came up beside him, hands reaching out before she could question herself, "What _happened_ -"

 

"I'm _fine_ , I'm fine-" Cullen had steadied himself, trying and failing to hide the glaze in his eyes, "-I'm _sorry_ , Ayr, I got caught up.... reports and missions, didn't realize the time-"

 

He was silenced by her hands suddenly caging his face, _yanking_ him down till their foreheads touched, hazy gold going wide and staring right into flaming green.

 

"You have a _fever_ , you dummy," Ayr grumbled, releasing him but not backing away, clearly expecting him to become feint again, "You're _sick_ , and trying to pretend you're not. Have you _slept_?"

 

Cullen winced, lips curling in a grimace, "Nightmares were worse... perhaps an hour or two...?"

 

"You need to _rest_ , Cullen. I _know_ you're Commander, I _know_ there's things to do. But you getting worse will _not_ help things, and you know it." she motioned to the couch then, backing away towards the door and picking up her fallen book, "Sit, I'm going to get you medicine and some _food_."

 

"Really, Ayr-"

 

" _Sit_." she hissed in a voice that brokered no arguments, dropping the book on the couch and stalking out the door without another word, not wanting to leave him alone for long.

 

Ayr stopped first at the Healers hut to get a fever tonic for him, then made for the kitchens and loaded up two bowls of stew, some fresh bread and two steaming mugs of ale, thanking the cooks and hurrying back to the office.

 

When she elbowed her way back in - having left the door open just a bit so she _could_ elbow it open - Ayr's eyes landed on Cullen and she _froze_ , mouth going dry.

 

Cullen had shed his armor and his furred coat, and was half-sprawled on his usual end of the couch in just his cotton under-shirt and ram-leather breeches, his boots the only hint of metal remaining. And while _yes_ , she'd seen him without the coat before, she hadn't realized just how _bulky_ all his armor was, hiding a much leaner, clearly muscled frame.

 

_Not the time, Ayr._

 

"Here, I brought food, _and_ medicine," Ayr crossed to set the tray on the table as per usual - it hadn't been moved since that first night - _knowing_ Cullen's eyes were glued to her and trying to ignore it, "Healer says one swig of the medicine a day is enough, so I figured I'd just pour a bit in your ale-"

 

"Ayr." Cullen's voice stopped her, as did the truly _grateful_ expression on his face, "Thank you. You didn't have to do this."

 

"Hey, you looked after _me_ , remember?" Ayr mumbled back, grabbing the bottle and uncorking it, "I'm returning the favor."

 

She upended the bottle and let what _roughly_ amounted to a swig pour into the mug before corking it again and setting it aside, holding the mug out to him with a _look_.

 

Cullen obediently took the mug and _downed_ it in one long swallow, wiping his mouth off with his arm and giving her a wry grin, some of the haziness already lifting from his eyes, "Happy?"

 

"Very. Now eat up."

 

The Commander rolled his eyes but reached for the bowl of stew anyways, Ayr reaching for her own helping once he'd swallowed a few spoonfuls.

 

They ate in silence for a while - Ayr mostly watching him for any faintness, Cullen focused on the stew - before he paused, side-eyeing her, "I received a letter today."

 

"A letter?"

 

"From my sister."

 

Ayr's eyes widened a little, "I didn't think you'd written to her yet?"

 

"I haven't. _She_ found _me_ , in that annoying way of hers," Cullen motioned with one hand towards his desk, and the much less _formal_ looking paper on the edge, "You can read it, if you like. It's mostly her _berating_ me for not writing."

 

More than a little curious - and incredibly pleased by how much more _lucid_ he was sounding - Ayr set her bowl down on the tray and strode to the desk, reading over the brief letter and _grinning_ by the end of it.

 

" _Totally_ berating you." she snickered, shaking her head, "Have you responded, yet?"

 

"No. Why don't _you_? You mentioned it before."

 

Ayr _stared_ at him for a moment, searching for any hint of fever-craze in his expression and only finding amused sincerity. "Are you _sure_?" she almost choked, "What if I write something terrible?"

 

Cullen waved her off, taking a long draw of stew, "Let me read it over before we send it and I think we'll be good."

 

"If you insist..." Ayr grabbed a piece of blank parchment, a feather pen and and ink-well from his desk and crossed back to the couch, sitting on her end and _staring_ at the open space, "Now, what to write..."

 

She set to work, writing quickly but neatly, wanting to be sure Mia could _read_ the letter.

 

Cullen seemed about to drift off once she'd finished, though he'd watched her the entire time, eyes shining gold behind half-lowered lids.

 

Smiling a little, she held the finished letter out to him, "Nothing huge, but here you go."

 

The Commander took the parchment and shuffled into a more upright position, peering down at the neat script and smirking a little as he read it over.

 

_Dear Mia,_

_Introductions first. My name is Ayr Lavellan; I'm the cousin of the Inquisitor, and a friend/pest of your brothers._

_First, let me say I agree whole heartedly with you; your brother is an idiot who's incredibly good at taking care of other people, and incredibly **terrible** at taking care of himself._

_Cullen is currently suffering from fever and several other issues caused by his idiocy, so I've taken it upon myself to nurse him back to health. (And by that I mean I'm force feeding him, and also making him sit **down** once in a while. I'm terrible, I know.)_

_Anyways, I'm writing because Cullen is too sick to and he said I could (probably a result of the sickness honestly, but...). For the most part, he is alive and well, as are most others in the Inquisition. I promise to try to make him write more. **Try** to._

_Take care, Ayr Lavellan on behalf of Commander Cullen._

 

"To the point and you only called me an idiot... twice?" Cullen chuckled, handing her the paper back, "Approved. Have Leliana send it, when you can."

 

"Will do." Ayr stood, gathering the empty bowls and mugs and placing them back on the tray, "Will you be alright, Cullen?"

 

"Fine, thanks to you," Cullen gave her a small smirk, already moving to sprawl on the couch now that she'd vacated it, "I may just sleep here, honestly; and don't fret, Ayr, my coat can double as a blanket easily."

 

"Stubborn man." Ayr huffed - more affectionately than she'd meant to - as she gathered the tray into her arms, "Promise no more working tonight?"

 

"I promise, Ayr."

 

"Good. Then I'll see you tomorrow?"

 

His eyes lit up at the words, lips curling, "Till tomorrow then, my lady."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The pattern continued until the end of Ayr's first week grounded, when Cullen's fever finally broke _completely_ and she stopped being a _complete_ mother hen.

 

Ayr spent her days curled on the couch in his office with her book, keeping a careful eye on Cullen as he _stubbornly_ worked away at letters and reports - sitting down, now that she'd had a chair brought up for him - and then running for dinner when the hour hit.

 

Leliana and Josephine had been understanding in his need to remain on rest until his fever broke, even if Cullen muttered about it under his breath.

 

A response from Mia arrived at the end of the week as well, making Cullen shake his head and mumble about _conspiring women_ and Ayr laugh like a loon.

 

_Dear Ayr,_

_A pleasure to hear from **someone** , considering I doubt it will ever be Cullen himself. Thank you for looking after him for me; Maker knows the man's never been one to take care of himself before others._

_Branson says hello, and Rosalie wants to know when we can visit Skyhold. I told her, not until the wars been handled! But she wants to see Cullen, and she's quite intrigued by **you**. So we'll see how long I can hold her back._

_Please keep in touch; your letter made all of our days._

 

_Sincerely, Mia Rutherford._

They'd also received another letter from Amaris' party, letting them know that _Almost finished, reaching rendezvous tomorrow. Will return asap._

 

It was the beginning of her second week grounded that Ayr rose for the day and paused, her attention alighting on the book that had sat untouched on her nightstand the entire time.

 

She had finished the _Tale of the Champion_ just the day before, and had been so busy keeping an eye on Cullen she hadn't really thought about it.

 

Now, she reached over and lifted it curiously, eyes ghosting over the cover and the title.

 

_The Lion and the Halla._

 

It wasn't a particularly _significant_ title, nor did it say _anything_ about the books contents. Even the cover - what looked like a deep, lush forest, with a red-furred halla standing in the middle and a lions mane poking from one of the bushes - didn't hint at what the book was about.

 

Still, Ayr figured it couldn't hurt to check it out, and tucked it under her arm as she left her chambers, knowing Cullen had a War Table meeting and wouldn't be back in his office until later.

 

She _did_ make a mental note to herself to keep it out of the Commanders sight, thoughts trailing when she met Dorian's returning party at the Gates and wound up dragged to the Tavern for some drinks with them.

 

Ayr didn't, in fact, touch the book for another two days, since the first day was spent discussing what the smugglers letters the group had found could mean, and the second was spent learning chess, once they'd retrieved the board from the gazebo.

 

When she finally _did_ start reading the book - curled up on Cullen's couch late in the afternoon, the Commander working away at his desk - it seemed... a bit odd, not Varric's usual tale, but nothing bad.

 

Except that she _knew_ the main character was based off Cullen.

 

And that the _halla_ mentioned in the title seemed, somehow, to be based off _her_.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Something was wrong with Ayr.

 

Nothing had seemed amiss. It had been four days since his fever had broken and he'd returned to work, since they'd settled into this strange, comfortable little routine of him working and she reading on his couch.

 

The day before he'd noticed her scowling a little as she read, eyebrows lifting occasionally or head shaking in disbelief. He didn't know _what_ she was reading - he couldn't tell from that distance, and she always tucked it out of sight when he came near - but it seemed to have her both incredibly amused and confused.

 

Today, though, she'd been making little _sounds_. Gaspy little breaths and quiet murmurs, rushed exhales and smooth hums that did _nothing_ to help the growing urges he felt towards the redhead.

 

And she was _squirming_.

 

Ayr was twitchy on principle; her feet would always be kicking, or tapping, or her fingers messing with her hair or a pen or a page. But this...

 

Cullen had glanced up from his paperwork at one of her little hums and _frozen_ , staring.

 

Ayr was shifting constantly in her seat as though unable to get comfortable, bottom lip caught between her teeth as her eyes devoured the book, green bright and almost hazy, legs shifting and thighs pressing together as she squirmed.

 

Cullen forced his gaze away, feeling heat stir as he shoved  _incredibly_ inappropriate thoughts from his mind and told himself he was _imagining_ her actions.

 

Then she _gasped_ , a quiet "Oh, _fuck_ ," leaving her, and Cullen was on his feet, crossing the room in three long strides to hover over her.

 

Ayr _eeped!_ at the sudden shadow and snapped the book shut, hiding it and staring up at him wide-eyed, cheeks flushed and ears pink at the tips.

 

"What _book_ are you reading?" he demanded, unable to help the dominant tone to his voice, "I am seriously worried, Ayr, you've been... making strange _sounds_..."

 

"I-it's nothing! Just... some _surprising_ scenes-"

 

"Let me see it."

 

" _NO!"_ Ayr shifted so she was _sitting_ on the book, glaring at him stubbornly, "It's _nothing_ , Cullen! I didn't mean to interrupt you, I'm sorry-"

 

"That's not the point! You're acting strange!" Cullen snapped, bending so one arm was braced on the back of the couch and he was _looming_ over her, voice softening as he stared down at her, "I am _worried_ , Ayr. Tell me the truth; are you _alright_?"

 

The fight left her a bit then, shoulders slumping as she managed a smile, looking a bit less flushed, "I'm fine, Cullen, I swear. It's... a private subject. Please just trust me on this, but I promise I'm alright."

 

"Alright." Cullen glanced her over one more time - out of worry, he told himself, nothing more - before straightening and returning to his desk, calling over his shoulder, "Mia wrote again, if you'd like to respond."

 

"Will do! I'll let her know you're feeling better."

 

Ayr was on her feet in an instant, though Cullen noticed she left the book behind, tucked safely under the blanket she'd brought with her.

 

Part of him wanted to dash over and grab it, to find out what it was, but the part that wanted to _keep_ her trust and company argued against it.

 

Glancing at her - already scribbling away at a blank piece of parchment, humming under her breath - Cullen let the book be.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The _first_ thing Ayr did upon falling asleep and entering the Fade was _scream_ \- a long, echoing noise that made the spirits nearby falter and scurry, fleeing the shrieking mage in surprise.

 

_Then_ she took a deep breath and calmed herself, not wanting to twist the environments in any harsh ways.

 

_Varric wasn't kidding about that book. Cullen **would** kill him if he read it. **I** might kill him!_

 

For all its seemingly innocent title and cover would suggest, _The Lion and the Halla_ was anything _but_ innocent.

 

It was the tale of an Avvar Chieftain - who would have easily been spotted as a fictional version of the Commander even if he _hadn't_ been named Cullen - wounded and captured by Venatori agents, still fighting even as his captors kept him bound and caged.

 

It was also the tale of a Dalish Elf Varric had simply named _Halla_ , lost in the wilderness on her way to her cousins wedding and unintentionally drawn into the power struggle between the Venatori and the Avvar.

 

It started off simply enough; Halla - a _mage_ , of _course_ \- met with several Venatori on her path and took them out lest _she_ be taken out, ultimately stumbling into the camp where Cullen's Avvar-counterpoint was being held and freeing him, allies against a common enemy.

 

Things quickly spiraled out of _innocent_ territory after that, with Halla swept back to the Avvar keep and practically _claimed_ by the chieftain.

 

Ayr hadn't gotten much further then that - Cullen had interrupted her, and she hadn't attempted to continue even after finishing her letter to Mia.

 

Creators, she never would have brought it with her to read in Cullen's _office_ if she'd _known_ what it was going to turn into! Sure, she'd known she shouldn't let him see it, but she'd figured it was just something that would piss him off, not a damn erotic novel with Cullen as the main character!

 

And _Halla_... who exactly Halla was based after was what confused her.

 

Varric had said the book had a very _limited_ run. Meaning past-tense, finished, likely before the Inquisition had even began. So at first, she'd thought Halla was based off of someone from Cullen's past, someone from the Circle he'd served at, perhaps, or someone Varric was also acquainted with.

 

The further in she got, however, the more obvious it was that Halla was based after _her_ ; she could only deny the mentions of _red curls_ , _green eyes_ and _firecracker wit_ for so long, after all.

 

Which meant... had Varric  _changed_ the book, before giving it to her?

 

_Bunch of losers, I swear. I'm going to **punch** Varric when he gets back._

 

Ayr forced herself to push those thoughts away and focused instead on calm, happy things, willing the world of the Fade to stay _calm_ , relaxed, _not_ tinged with demons and dark thoughts.

 

Amaris - and Solas, from her cousins stories - were better at shaping the Fade then she was, but Ayr could hold her own; the Fade reflected reality, after all, and so Skyhold was where she spent her dreams, just as she did her waking hours.

 

It was, admittedly, a _grander_ Skyhold then the one the Inquisition inhabited; no crumbling walls or scaffolding, no overgrown hedges or debris littered about.

 

In the Fade, Skyhold was distinctly _Elvhen_ , decorated stylishly and fortified against any enemy, inhabited by friendly Spirits and the shadowy images she could conjure in the usual haunts of their companions.

 

She and Amaris had discussed it, after one of their first nights at the Keep and their first time wandering the Fade during their sleep, noticing how elegant the building had been, well kept and _definitely_ inhabited.

 

"Skyhold _is_ Elvhen." Solas had confirmed, giving a pleased smile at the cousins inquiries, "Though it has long been unused, and we not intruding on any hostile parties, I assure you."

 

So now Ayr wandered, alone in the Fade's version of Skyhold asides from Spirits of Curiosity, the only type that seemed to stay in this region.

 

As always, she wasn't quite sure _what_ she was wearing; she never bothered to focus too hard on her clothes, so they always ended up as some airy sort of shift, modest but largely impractical.

 

Not that practicality mattered much, but still...

 

Normally, Ayr had no particular destination in mind; she would wander the main hall and listen in on whispers that bled through from the waking world, ghost into the library that showcased a much _larger_ variety then their current assortment, walk the battlements and examine the ancient fortifications in their original glory.

 

Tonight... something was different.

 

Tonight Ayr found herself drifting along the hallways that would lead her to the Commanders office, spurred on by some strange nagging at the back of her mind.

 

She'd been to his office once before, after joking that she would chase away the nightmares, only to find it empty. Either his nightmares had taken him somewhere else in the Fade, or he had simply not slept that night. Regardless, she hadn't tried again since, and yet... _something_ told her to go, to seek him out.

 

_Perhaps to act on some of the urges the book ignited in you..._ a wicked voice purred at the back of her mind, making her flush red even as she shoved it away.

 

_I am going to **kill** Varric._

 

Those thoughts drifted away as she drew closer to the Commanders office, hackles rising as an almost _sinister_ air seemed to form before her, speeding her strides.

 

Ayr burst into the office and nearly _gagged_ , eyes widening at the sight awaiting her.

 

Cullen _was_ there this time, as were his _nightmares_.

 

The room was a disaster; desk trashed and couch ripped apart, bookshelves toppled and papers and books scattered everywhere.

 

Cullen was in the corner furthest from her, crouched in a defensive position and looking fiercely determined despite the fact that wicked cuts and bruises marred his bare chest and arms, blood dripping from a long cut on his cheek. The Commander wore only his breeches and boots, as though unable to summon any other armor; perhaps, not being a mage or a native to the Fade, he couldn't.

 

He was cornered by the Nightmares, given the form of demons here in the Fade, wicked and unrelenting in their torture.

 

Ayr didn't hesitate; she'd promised him she would chase away the Nightmares, after all.

 

A barrier - not magic she used often, but strengthened by being in the Fade - rose up around Cullen as one of the Nightmares moved to attack again, making it shriek as it disintegrated on contact.

 

The others were a bit harder, though still nothing compared to the real demons she'd fought; taken down by a few well timed spells, leaving her path to Cullen clear as the barrier faded, the man still panting and staring at the ground.

 

"Cullen." Ayr crossed to him and reached out, hesitating - she didn't know how he would react to being touched, was freaked out that he hadn't _looked up_ yet - "Cullen! Can you hear- _mphf!_ "

 

Cullen's hands had snapped out to grab her when she'd said his name again, face lifting as he yanked her down to slant his mouth over hers.

 

Ayrs eyes went wide, face flushed to the tips of her ears as her brain fought to process what was happening, gasping when his tongue pressed against her lips and shuddering when it slipped into her mouth to tap against her own.

 

_This can't be him._ she thought dazedly, trying to keep her wits even as she was kissed senseless, eyes fighting to close, _It **can't** be. Must be a demon, or... or **something**. Cullen wouldn't... Cullen isn't-!_

 

Cullen - the demon or spirit or whatever it was that looked like Cullen, anyways - pulled away then, groaning as he lowered his head and pressed against her collar bone, right near her pounding heart, "You're not her. You _can't_ be her, but Makers' _breath_..."

 

Ayr's breath caught at his words, startled green locking on the top of his head. _Could this be...?_

 

"You can't be Ayr." he was still mumbling, shifting now to press his lips to the bare skin above her neckline, arms still anchored around her, "You must be a demon, or a Spirit, come to tempt me. But not Ayr."

 

"Why?" she managed to whisper, licking her lips, "Why can't I be Ayr?"

 

"Because Ayr wouldn't let me kiss her." Cullen pressed another kiss to her neck, following a path, "Ayr wouldn't let me _touch_ her like this. Ayr wouldn't want _me_."

 

Trembling, Ayr lifted a hand to brush along his cheek, "Why don't you ask her?"

 

"Because I am a coward," he grumbled against her neck, grip tightening even further, "I do not want to lose her friendship because of one misplaced step."

 

_We are both such fucking idiots._

 

" _Ask her_ , Cullen," Ayr whispered urgently, knowing he wouldn't believe she was real no matter what she said but _needing_ to know. If this _was_ really Cullen, if he _remembered_ her urging... _Creators, please..._

 

"Perhaps..."

 

" _Ask her_." a _ringing_ sounded around them then, a clear chime that broke through the Fade from the real world.

 

"The nightmares are gone," Ayr whispered, pressing her lips to his forehead in a tender motion, "But it's time to _wake up_."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Cullen shot up in bed with a shout, sweating and panting as his eyes darted around in the darkness, searching for the nightmares or the Spirit that had been there a moment before.

 

Nothing, except the chiming bell that signaled the return of the Inquisitor.

 

_"Ask her, Cullen."_

 

The Commander scowled into the darkness of his room - not nearly sunrise yet, he'd slept maybe an hour - feeling the lingering effects of the dream on his body; pure, potent arousal still rushing hotly through his veins as he remembered how it had felt to _kiss_ her.

 

Makers Breath, _one kiss_ and he was on fire, hard and throbbing at the memory of her soft and pliant in his arms.

 

It couldn't have been Ayr, but it had looked, smelled and _sounded_ like her, and his body had reacted without a care.

 

_"Ask her."_ the Spirit or demon or whatever it had been had begged him, and Cullen found himself lingering on the thought, wondering if there was any _truth_ to what it had said.

 

_Later_ , he grimaced as another rush of want flooded his veins, giving in to the need and taking himself in hand, _Definitely later._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

When Cullen woke again, the position of the sun told him it was early afternoon, making him grumble and scrub a hand over his face as he shoved himself up.

 

The soiled bedding he balled up and tossed down the opening to his office, working at getting dressed and pausing when he realized-

 

He'd _slept in_. He normally barely _slept_ , never mind slept _late_. The nightmares hadn't returned after the Ayr-look-alike had chased them away.

 

_If that isn't a good sign, I don't know what is._

 

Still, Cullen was in a decidedly good mood as he finished dressing and slid down the ladder, making a note to send a servant up to gather the bedding and have it washed.

 

He took the longer path along the battlements - examining the defenses and nodding to soldiers as he passed - thinking as he walked.

 

_Ask her_ , his own thoughts joined the chorus now, echoing alongside the Spirits, making his step quicken, his strides longer, _Alright. Stop being a coward, Cullen. You've been dancing around each other for long enough. If she doesn't... well, then you can stop thinking about it._

 

Mounting the steps and reaching the main hall, Cullen sent one servant to his office to switch the bedding and stopped another to inquire as to where the Inquisitor and her band was, somewhat surprised by the answer.

 

"They are in Lady Josephine's study, Commander; I believe they were discussing the upcoming ball at Halamshiral?"

 

Cullen responded with a curt thank you and made his way towards the specified doors, stepping through the first into the hall and then pushing open the second, pausing midway in to stare at the events going on within.

 

Amaris noticed him from her place on one of Josephine's arm chairs - moved so it was now sitting on the higher edge of the room, the Inquisitor seated in Solas' lap - and beckoned him over, smiling genuinely.

 

"Inquisitor." he greeted as he approached, exchanging nods with Solas, "I am glad to see you well. How was the mission?"

 

"Wearisome. We made progress, but it will take time for the next move." Amaris paused, sighing, "Which is why-"

 

" _Must_ I be your guinea pig?"

 

"Of _course_ , my dear, you _are_ the one who needs the most practice, after all."

 

"-Vivienne insisted on _this_." the blonde elf finished in an amused mumble, gesturing to the cleared space in front of them.

 

Cullen's gaze followed her directions, eyebrows lifting at the sight.

 

Vivienne had Ayr positioned as though about to _dance_ , the redhead looking severely flustered and uncomfortable in the pose.

 

Cullen tried not to let his gaze linger to long - he noted Leliana and Josephine standing near the Ambassadors desk, Dorian hovering nearby as well - even as he realized soft _music_ was playing, somewhere, and it clicked.

 

"Dance lessons?" he questioned, Amaris' lips twitching as she nodded.

 

"Ayr and I have never been to any sort of formal dance. Vivienne thought it was a good idea, and _I_ agree. Ayr, however..."

 

"Well, it _is_ Ayr." Cullen replied, drawing a laugh from the two elves.

 

"Really, my dear, this is _not_ so difficult. Straighten up!"

 

"Can I just have a less imposing _partner_ please?" Ayr whined, obviously rather annoyed with the whole situation.

 

"Fine, fine. Lady Amaris, would you please...?"

 

"I'll be back," Amaris murmured to Solas, stealing a kiss before extracting herself from his lap and making her way to her cousin.

 

"Yes, Vhenan." Solas mumbled back, watching the Inquisitor fondly as she took Vivienne's place opposite her cousin.

 

"I've heard you call her that before," Cullen settled into the vacant seat beside Solas, curious about the word but trying not to pry, "'Vhenan', you said? May I ask what it means?"

 

"Of course, Commander. It means 'my heart' in Elvhen. A term not used lightly." Solas' eyes took on a sort of knowing then, an almost smirk settling on his lips, "A term, I think, you would rather like to use for _Ayr_ , Commander."

 

Where once he might have denied it, Cullen only let his gaze wander back to the cousins - playfully dancing around much to Vivienne's disdain - rolling the word around in his mind, "Perhaps."

 

Solas' grin widened, though they were interrupted by Amaris approaching suddenly and grasping his hands, pulling him to his feet, "Come, Solas, dance with me!"

 

"Of course, Vhenan," Solas let himself be lead, leaving Cullen by himself to watch.

 

Dorian, he noted, had taken over teaching Ayr, and if he wasn't aware - or at least suspicious of - the Tevinters preference for men, and only friendly feelings for the elf, he may have felt jealous.

 

As it was, he simply enjoyed watching him lead her, gently correcting until her steps weren't as awkward, no longer fumbling or stepping on his toes.

 

Amaris and Solas were like water, flowing together as though they were _made_ to, steps sure and precise despite the Inquisitors claim she had never danced like this before.

 

His gaze shifted, and suddenly Cullen realized Vivienne's attention was on him, a very _knowing_ look to her eyes.

 

"Why, _Commander_ , my dear! I did not realize you had joined us!" Vivienne raised her voice so everyone in the room could hear her, startling Ayr and making her head whip around towards him, "Come, Cullen, join us!"

 

"I will pass, Lady Vivienne," Cullen chuckled, telling himself that _wasn't_ a spark of disappointment he caught in Ayr's eyes, "I'm afraid dancing is not my forte."

 

"All the more reason to _practice_ before Halamshiral! Come, my dear, _relax_ a little!"

 

Eyes drifting back to Ayr again - and the hopeful expression she was wearing - Cullen sighed and stood, shrugging, "Well, perhaps-"

 

The door _slamming_ open cut off what he might have said, a rather panicked looking agent standing in the doorway. "My apologies, Inquisitor, but an agent has arrived with urgent news."

 

"What is it?" Amaris questioned, immediately slipping into the stoic facade she wore around the troops.

 

"It's the agent sent to the Free Marches, Inquisitor. He's... you'd better come see, quickly."

 

Cullen scowled, even as everyone in the room moved to follow the man, clearly concerned in the face of such panic.

 

_The Free Marches..._ something clicked, and his pace sped as he followed the others, _The only agent we sent there was headed to_ -

The group came to a halt when they reached the main hall, easily spotting the agent that had arrived.

 

The man was leaning heavily on another soldier, one arm looking broken and blood splattered over his uniform.

 

"Inquisitor." he greeted, voice gravelly, "I am... sorry, that I took so long. The message-"

 

"What happened, soldier?" Amaris questioned calmly, though there was a hint of panic to her tone.

 

"It was over, by the time I got there, but there were stragglers. Bandits, or something..."

 

"I'm sorry, Inquisitor. Clan Lavellan... has been wiped out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yknow how I said I don't like drama for the sake of drama? I really, truly, honestly DON'T, but that last part... that's been intended since I STARTED writing this story. Because I suck. I'm sorry ;___;
> 
> In regards to the book... ORIGINALLY, it was going to be a reference to Captivated by the lovely QueenoftheProcrastination, hence the title of the chapter. But then the comment from Kittenkakt got me thinking, and I realized Ayr wouldn't identify as much with that. A, the character in the is human, b, not a mage, and c, YES just as stubborn as Ayr, but not in the same ways.
> 
> So... I twisted it, based on the little Avvar AU I want to write sometime, and tada, the Lion and the Halla was born. I'm trash, I'm sorry.
> 
> I HOPE I DID GOOD. I TRIED TO DO GOOD. 
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! :D <3


	8. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People mourn differently; Amaris usually hides it inside, Ayr usually lets it all out.
> 
> In which Amaris is so very, very sick of losing people, and Ayr is sick of denying herself the one thing she wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER! And - gasp - guess what! Relationship progress is made, yay!
> 
> Warning: SMUT AHEAD! Not super intense smut, but smut nontheless. 
> 
> I am proud to say this chapter is very much equal parts AmarisxSolas and AyrxCullen. Woo!
> 
> As usual, I have no beta, so I apologize for any mistakes!!

**Chapter Eight: Letting Go**

Profound silence fell over the main hall at the Agents words, shock ripping through everyone present.

 

Amaris had gone deathly pale, eyes wide as she stared at the man, though otherwise she remained outwardly calm and collected.

 

Cullen didn't know what to say; he was as shocked as everyone else. _Nothing_ had indicated the cousins' clan was in any sort of danger, no word or sign that something was wrong. If only they had _known_ , if there'd been some _sign_ -!

 

"You're lying."

 

The words shattered the silence, Cullen's gaze snapping to the redhead that had spoken them.

 

Ayr's hands were clenched into fists, fire spiraling around them as she stared at the agent, entire body _trembling_ furiously, "You're _lying_ -!"

 

"Ayr, _stop_." Amaris' voice was barely audible, but the words and her hand on Ayr's shoulder made the younger elf _slump_ , fire dissipating as she sucked in a harsh breath, eyes dropping to the ground as the blonde turned to the wounded man, " _Thank you_ , for bringing us this information. Have yourself looked at by a Healer, and rest."

 

"I will, your worship. Thank you."

 

"Inquisitor." Cassandra was the one to speak up once the wounded agent had been lead from the Hall, worried gaze on the cousins, "How can we help?"

 

"We will need to prepare a memorial. Something simple." Amaris' voice remained steady, though a hint of despair crept through her even tones, "Tonight, if we can manage it."

 

"We will prepare immediately, Inquisitor." Leliana murmured, melting into the crowd as she set to the task.

 

"Until then..." Amaris shifted her arm to hook it around Ayr's shoulders, gently turning her back towards the throne, "...we... need some time."

 

"As long as you need, Inquisitor." Josephine promised.

 

Everyone watched the cousins go, walking slowly to their chamber doors and disappearing inside, unsure how to help or to comfort them.

 

All they could do was wait.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The memorial was quick and simple, as Amaris had requested.

 

They gathered in the lower courtyard - _everyone_ in Skyhold, no matter their race or beliefs - around a large fire pit erected specifically for the occasion, standing in a circle and offering prayers or best wishes.

 

Solas - for all his earlier disdain for the Dalish - stood at Amaris' side and helped her with a prayer to the Elvhen Gods, supplying terms and words when she stumbled, keeping a gentle, steadying hand on her lower back and murmuring encouragement.

 

Ayr was silent, staring at the flames with haunted eyes, standing close on Amaris' other side. Both cousins were in black, and Cullen hated the defeated look it gave them.

 

People drifted away to bed as the sun sank and the flames faltered, Amaris remaining until the prayer was finished and she looked ready to collapsing, Ayr none the better.

 

The Inquisitor - ever gracious, ever professional - offered thanks to everyone she passed on her way back inside, arm linked through Ayrs as though to keep them both standing, escaping into their chambers with hardly a look backwards.

 

As Josephine had said, they would be given all the time they needed; the Peace Talks were not for a bit yet, and there was no news from Hawke.

 

They could only hope that time would help.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It had been two days since the memorial when Solas felt Amaris' familiar magic drawing closer, chair scraping loudly as he all but leapt to his feet in greeting.

 

Despite all his attempts at remaining distant, aloof, the confidant and friend but nothing more, Solas had been unable to withstand Amaris' charm and genuine spirit in the end. In truth, he'd been hers since that first kiss in the Fade, despite his protest and request for more time.

 

Two days without her presence - without her gentle smile and laughter, her cunning wit and determination, her familiar touch and warmth and _being_ \- had been _torture_.

 

She was mourning, and at first he had wanted to intrude on her personal space, to remind her of the gentle offer she'd made to him, _You don't have to mourn alone_. But she was _not_ alone, she had Ayr; perhaps it was better, that the two cousins could mourn together.

 

Solas had instead, then, tried to find her in the Fade, to offer her comfort in dreams, if nothing else. Yet the Fade had been empty both nights, which led him to believe neither cousin was sleeping, the thought sending tendrils of fear creeping into his chest when he added that to the fact that every tray of food sent to their rooms had come back as full as it had been.

 

He was, completely, undeniably, _hers_. Every thought, every feeling, every fibre of his being was hers, the heart he had thought long frozen torn asunder at her despair and grief.

 

Amaris Lavellan was _not_ what he had expected; she had surprised him at every turn, right from the beginning. He had, originally, thought to _leave_ the Inquisition the moment they had accomplished their task, to disappear without a trace once things had been set right.

 

Now... he could hardly stand not seeing her for two days. Never seeing her again...

 

_I will tell her_ , he had decided, in a moment of great anxiety the day before, _Everything. And I will pray that she surprises me again._

 

But now was not the time for world shattering confessions. Now was the time for listening, for giving her whatever she needed.

 

So as the door to the rotunda swung open and Amaris stepped hesitantly inside, Solas exhaled sharply at the sight of her, still so beautiful that it called to his heart.

 

And yet there was a sunken quality to her cheeks, a weariness in her eyes that spoke of grief and sleepless nights, a slight waver to her step as though her energy were low - a likely case, if she hadn't eaten in two days.

 

"Solas." her voice - pure, lilting, Creators he loved her voice - seemed strong, but he caught the hesitancy to it, the slight fear.

 

"Vhenan." he answered simply, stepping around the desk and lifting his arms in invitation.

 

It was all she needed; Amaris was across the room and in his arms with five quick strides, small arms wrapped tightly around his torso as she buried her face in his shoulder, seeming so small and fragile against him that his heart broke once more.

 

"Solas." she mumbled again into his shirt, arms squeezing tighter, a slight tremor running through her.

 

"I am here, Vhenan," Solas mumbled back, keeping her tight against him, "Tell me what you need."

 

"Can we go somewhere?" she whispered back, still clinging to him, "Just us? I can't... _please_..."

 

"Of course, Vhenan." he pulled back to press a kiss against her forehead - chaste and tender, meant as a comfort to both of them - before gently steering her to the couch and indicating for her to sit, "Stay here. I will prepare a few things, and we can be off."

 

Amaris nodded, and he hurried to do as he'd said, as anxious as she.

 

Dutifully, he informed Cassandra of their imminent departure, though not of the location he planned to take her to.

 

"The Inquisitor needs time away, Seeker. I promise to keep any harm from befalling her," Solas stared the woman in the eye, letting her see how serious he was, "You have my word, whatever that may be worth."

 

"Do what you must." was all Cassandra said in response, earning more respect from the elf then he'd thought possible.

 

Solas was quick to procure the rest of the necessities for the trip - food enough for two days, two sleeping rolls and pillows, a stock of potions for emergencies - before returning to the rotunda to retrieve Amaris.

 

Amaris was determined to ride solo, insisting she was alright even as Solas helped her mount her Ferelden Elk, hoping she wasn't just being stubborn. He mounted his own charger and they were off, heading away from Skyhold and to a place Solas hoped she would enjoy.

 

He could see confusion in her expression as they crossed into the Exalted Plains, though she said nothing and merely trusted him to lead her, looking around as they rode.

 

They skirted the Dalish camp and came around the final bend about midday, Solas silently directing her in the proper direction and noting how her eyes lit up in recognition.

 

The two elves dismounted just outside the entrance, carefully leading them in by the reigns and leaving them to graze in what had once been a grand foyer.

 

Amaris wandered away to check the lower area and set down their things while Solas began casting wards and barriers, ensuring no unwanted visitors could bother them in their haven.

 

Turning, Solas padded further into the ancient structure, hand running fondly over once-familiar walls, now cracked and broken with age and decay.

 

Amaris had paused in laying out their bedrolls to glance out a tall, pointed arch, and Solas allowed himself a moment to imagine the place as it _had_ been, when last he'd seen it, functioning and whole and _Elvhen_.

 

The Ancient Baths had been a work of art; open to the River, as it was now, but magically protected from weather and decay, populated constantly by elves and their laughter, by the sound of water and music at every hour of the day.

 

He pictured it; lush colours and rugs and pillows, tubs filled with steaming water and laughing elves, musicians standing on the middle pedestal that now housed only a broken rune stone, a younger version of himself relaxing with Mythal in the days before her murder and his rebellion.

 

Solas allowed himself a moment of undeterred _longing_ , inserting _Amaris_ into the memory; curled in his arms and dressed as a high member of the Elvhen court, Vallaslin the graceful lines of Mythal and not the crow of Dirthamen.

 

He wished he could show it to her; all of it. The beauty and majesty of the Elvhen Empire before the corruption, the way their people had lived then. She treasured knowledge as he did; he wished to give her that gift, to show her the truth. He could show her a reflection of it in the Fade, of course, but it wasn't the same, and right now she needed _reality_ , not dreams.

 

A sudden _splash_ broke Solas from his musings, gaze whipping to the river in time to see Amaris remerge from the water, hair plastered back from her face and body bare in the afternoon sunlight.

 

Worry and want clashed in his mind even as he fought to keep his expression neutral, descending the steps slowly to approach the buildings edge and pause beside her discarded clothing.

 

"Vhenan." Solas paused, the word rather more of a growl then he'd intended, before trying again, "Amaris! You should eat first, Vhenan, you need the strength-"

 

"Solas." her voice was clear and calm, commanding and inviting, and it stopped his words cold.

 

Amaris turned back towards him - upper body visible above the water and droplets running down pale, perfect skin, between pert breasts and down to where the river covered her hips, hair down for once and the ends barely reaching her shoulders - _smiling_ and lifting a hand to beckon him forwards.

 

"Join me."

 

As if he could deny her anything.

 

Solas stripped easily, unashamed of his body or it's reactions to her; a trill of pleasure running through him when her eyes slid lower to where he stood already half-hard.

 

His wolf-jaw necklace was the last thing he discarded, hesitating only momentarily before diving smoothly into the river, surfacing right beside her so he could wrap her in his arms and pull her close.

 

Amaris' startled shriek melted into quiet giggles as he nuzzled at her throat, content just to hold her despite his state of arousal. This outing was about _her_ , about getting her away from Skyhold and her duties, away from the grief and the memories.

 

"Let me take care of you, Vhenan," Solas murmured gently, lifting a hand to cradle her jaw and turning her in his arms, bending his head to kiss her sweetly.

 

Amaris sighed and melted into him, arms wrapping around his neck even as she pressed closed, his shaft resting against her belly.

 

Still he made no move to seduce her, touch gentle and caring along her waist, her back, along the curve of her spine and the length of her arm.

 

He didn't realize she was crying until he felt the droplets on his cheeks, eyes opening as he pulled away, concerned, "Vhenan?"

 

"I can't." Amaris whispered, eyes clenched shut even as the tears seeped through, shoulders trembling as she shook her head, still holding back, "I can't, Solas, I'm sorry-"

 

"Amaris, Vhenan, look at me," Solas framed her face in his hands and touched his forehead to hers, waiting till she'd opened her eyes to continue, "There is no one here but you and I, Vhenan. Let it out."

 

Her eyes - usually so full of laughter and curiosity, now tormented with grief - searched his for a moment before she _crumpled_ , a sob breaking through as she clung to him, shaking.

 

"They're gone." she sobbed, trembling even as he lifted her against him, intent to bring her back to the comfort of the bathhouse and their belongings, "All of them, _gone_. I didn't... I should have _been_ there! I could have _done_ something!"

 

"You might have died alongside them had you remained, Vhenan," Solas rose carefully onto the edge of the bathhouse, missing the steps that had once descended into the river, "You were where you were needed, where you _are_ needed, as is Ayr."

 

"Ayr... _creators_ , if she hadn't _followed_ me, she'd... she'd be..."

 

Solas' arms tightened around her as he strode swiftly for the unfurled bedrolls, one hand supporting her bottom while the other made soothing motions over her back. A tendril of unease ran through him at her words, realizing that she was right; had Ayr not followed after her cousin, she'd have likely died with the rest of the Clan.

 

For Amaris' sake - and because he was rather fond of the younger Lavellan, honestly - he was thankful. That _both_ of them had left when they did.

 

"Ayr is alive." Solas reminded her gently, sitting on the bedrolls and manoeuvring so he was lying down with Amaris curled against his chest, still running a soothing hand over her spine, "Both of you are alive. Do not focus on what _might_ have happened."

 

"That _future_ I saw, at Redcliffe. She'd _died_. You were _all_ dying." Amaris shook her head, shoulders shaking again, "Everyone leaves, everyone _always leaves-_ "

 

Solas went still, startled, "Vhenan?"

 

"Everyone important to me _leaves_." she whispered harshly into his chest, voice thick with emotion, "My father and uncle died during a hunt, my aunt birthing Ayr. I almost had a sister - stillborn." she was shifting suddenly, moving so her legs straddled him, a hand snaking between them to-

 

Solas _jerked_ when she took him in her hand, grabbing her wrist to stop her while the other hand gripped her hip, seeking her eyes even as she kept them downcast, "Amaris-!"

 

"My mother died of disease just before my eighteenth birthday, so I took her Vallaslin. Now Keeper Deshanna is... the entire _Clan_ is..." she shook her head, voice breaking, "Everyone _leaves_ me!"

 

She _squeezed_ , and Solas had to bite back a groan, her words keeping his lust from taking over despite her actions, " _Vhenan_ , Amaris, we don't need to-"

 

" _Please_ , Solas." Amaris lifted her eyes, expression _pleading_ , "Please let me love you. Please please _please_. I _need_ you."

 

Speechless for once, Solas swallowed and nodded, releasing her wrist and nearly _snarling_ when she brushed the head of him along her folds, stubbornly resisting the urge to buck up and bury himself inside her.

 

This was for _her_ , to help her _let go_ ; he would do _nothing_ without her asking.

 

Creators knew he would do _anything_ for her.

 

It was a relief when Amaris positioned him and _slowly_ sank down onto his shaft, body parting fluidly until he was sheathed fully inside her, their hips pressed flush together.

 

She was perfect, _they_ were perfect, together, bodies and minds matching as though they'd been meant to meet, to be like this.

 

Perhaps they had been.

 

All thought fled when Amaris ground down against him, circling her hips and rocking to create friction.

 

She bent - blonde hair a curtain around her face, mostly dry due to the heat of the plains - hands braced on either side of him as she rocked, lovely face flushed and pale, grief still present despite the heady lust in her eyes.

 

"Don't leave me." she pleaded, lifting off him and then sliding back down, gasping the words, " _Please_ , Solas!"

 

"I won't leave you, Vhenan." he would find another way, or bring her with him, _something_. He couldn't leave her, couldn't imagine not having her. It would _destroy_ him.

 

"Promise me. Promise you won't leave." Amaris bit her lip, _whining_ as she tried to move faster, unused to the position, " _Please_!"

 

Solas could feel her magic pulsing just beneath her skin, reacting to the intent of her words; felt his _own_ responding, wicked desire and knowing rising up, making his grip on her hips tighten.

 

"I will do more than _promise_ , Vhenan," Solas growled, flipping them so she was beneath him, legs around his waist, thrusting hard and fast and giving her what she'd wanted, "I will never leave you. Even if we must part, I will return to you. You are _mine_ , and I am _yours_."

 

The magic coiled around them even as Amaris mewled, arms wrapping around his neck to yank him down, kissing him soundly as she tried to meet his movements. Solas allowed the contact for a moment before pulling back enough to speak, foreheads pressed together as he grit his teeth and pressed on, he needed to _finish the vow_ -

 

"I will protect you, and nothing save death can take me from you. You are my heart, my soul, my love. You are my mate, my _wife-_ " Solas growled, jerking into her roughly, "- _mine_! You are _mine_ , Amaris, only if you _agree_ , and I will be _yours_ , forever, Vhenan, if you _want it_ -!"

 

" _Yes_!" the word was a whine, but the intent, the _longing_ was clear, even as her eyes snapped shut, " _Yes_ , I am _yours_ , _Solas_ -!"

 

Amaris' last word was a _scream_ as the bond _snapped_ into place, connecting their pleasure and throwing them both over the edge.

 

Solas _howled_ , holding himself deep and shuddering as the aftershocks of the magic swept over him, careful not to _crush_ her when it finally wore off and he sunk down on top of her.

 

Amaris' arms were around him, hands stroking lazily along his back, her eyes closed as a much more _peaceful_ expression settled on her face. "Solas?"

 

"Yes, Vhenan?"

 

"That magic..." she trailed off a little, as though afraid to ask, and Solas couldn't help the smirk he hid in her shoulder.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"It felt like... I could feel..." he could see her biting her lip, eyes opening a crack to peer curiously down at him, "... are we...?"

 

" _Yes_ , Vhenan," Solas purred, pressing a pleased kiss above her heart, "We are bonded."

 

Amaris sucked in a shaky breath, looking away, "I'm sorry, Solas."

 

"For...?"

 

"This... I didn't mean to... _force_ you, to rush things..."

 

"Vhenan," Solas laughed, pushing himself up on his forearms to loom over her, making her meet his eyes, "The bonding could not have taken if either of us felt even the _slightest_ hesitation. You did not force, or rush, me into anything."

 

"You're sure?"

 

"Yes. I am yours, as you are mine, Vhenan." he bent to kiss her, a quick, tender touch, "Are you feeling better?"

 

"I am." Amaris shifted her arms to his neck to prolong the touch, sighing blissfully, "I usually mourn alone, hiding away. It is good to let it out to someone."

 

"I am glad you did, Vhenan."

 

"It was Ayr's idea." seeing Solas' eyebrow raise, Amaris grinned, "She said, _go find Solas, spend time with him. Stop holding everything in._ I owe her one."

 

"And will Ayr be alright, left alone?"

 

"Ayr... has never truly mourned. She didn't know her parents, was not especially close to my mother. She said she would be fine." Amaris frowned a little, though her eyes were much lighter then they had been, "But... I believe she will seek out friends, after the initial shock has died. Ayr is not a solitary person; she will want company."

 

"Perhaps the company of a certain Commander?"

 

"Perhaps." Amaris' stomach grumbled then, making them glance at each other and laugh, "For now, I am _starving_ ; I haven't eaten since... well."

 

"Then it is a good thing I prepared for this," Solas grinned and lifted himself off of her, offering his hands to pull her to her feet and leading her to the saddlebag filled with food, "Cassandra is aware we will be gone for a time. We can remain as long as you need."

 

"Good." her hand tightening around his, Amaris smiled, "I think we deserve a break."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The day after Amaris and Solas had left, the _last_ thing Cullen expected was Ayr to come _barreling_ into his office with no warning, _slamming_ the door behind her and pressing her back to it as though keeping out some sort of monster.

 

He hadn't seen her since the memorial - neither cousin had left their quarters till Amaris' departure, and Cullen had only heard about _that_ afterwards from Cassandra - and he immediately looked her over, concern and hope and _confusion_ warring in his mind.

 

Ayr was wild-eyed, panting as though she'd been _running_ , red curls even _messier_ then usual and half-hanging in her face. Her skin seemed sallow, eyes hazy, and he noticed a slight tremor to her arms - results of her not eating or really sleeping for days, he suspected.

 

Before he could say anything - ask her what was wrong, how she was, if he could _do_ anything - Ayr seemed to _jerk_ , ears pricking as though she'd heard something and eyes going wider before she _dashed_ to the ladder, scaling it in a heartbeat and disappearing into the loft above.

 

Cullen had no time to wonder what was going on before _knocking_ sounded at the door she'd just come running through, checking to make sure she was out of sight before calling "Come in!"

 

Imagine his surprise when _Vivienne_ of all people stepped inside, looking both determined and slightly chagrined, "Commander."

 

"Lady Vivienne." Cullen inclined his head politely, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

 

"You haven't seen Ayr, have you? I was _trying_ to get her measurements for the Peace Talks, and I'm afraid she _fled_ rather hastily."

 

Understanding dawning, Cullen crossed his arms and scowled, "Her entire Clan was just _wiped out_. With all due respect, I think I understand her _fleeing_."

 

"I thought it would help _distract her_ , Commander!" Vivienne lifted her hands into the air, huffing, "Besides, she was already out and about! I caught her on her way _here-_ "

 

Even as his heart jumped, Cullen remained stoic, "What makes you think she was coming _here_?"

 

" _Please_ , Commander; she was crossing through the _rotunda. Everyone_ knows Ayr only goes through there when she's headed to your office."

 

"Regardless, Lady Vivienne, I have not seen Ayr. I apologize."

 

Vivienne pursed her lips, her look one that said _I know you're lying_ , before lifting her chin in the air and turning smartly on her heel, "Very well, Commander. Thank you for your time. _Do_ let me know if you _happen_ to see her?"

 

She was gone in a moment, Cullen crossing to the door to listen as the tell-tale _click_ of her heels against the stones grew further away.

 

"The coast is clear!" he called up to the loft, frowning when there was no answer, "She's gone, you can come down."

 

Still no answer, making Cullen scowl and cross to the ladder, staring up into the sunlit space of the loft.

 

"Ayr?"

 

Once more, nothing.

 

Sighing and glancing ruefully at the desk still covered in outstanding reports, Cullen grabbed a rung of the ladder and started to climb, knowing the task of checking on the mourning elf was more important.

 

He'd wanted to check on her while she'd been hiding; wanted to make sure she was alright, that she had what she needed, that she knew she wasn't alone.

 

Fear had kept him away, as it always seemed to. Now, though, he found his mind teeming with questions as he climbed, still no sounds coming from the loft.

 

_Was that dream real? Was it a Spirit, or Ayr?_

_How do I help her?_

_Was she... **really** coming to see me?_

 

"Ayr," Cullen voiced as he drew near the top of the ladder, not wanting to startle her, "Are you _alright-?_ "

 

"You know," Ayr drawled at the same time, turning her head with the intent to give him a mischievous smirk, "You _really_ need to clean _up_ some things, Cullen-"

 

Both let their words trail away as they locked eyes, faces _very_ close together, staring at each other in surprise.

 

Cullen hadn't realised that Ayr had sat down _right beside_ where the ladder connected to the floor, staying close to the opening so she could hear everything happening below. She had her legs half-tucked beneath her and one hand braced on the ground to keep her steady, the other playing with the edge of her shirt.

 

She'd been looking around the room - at the debris he still hadn't cleared from the space, typical Ayr - before turning to him, barely inches between them.

 

Ayr was so close Cullen could see the flecks of grey in her green eyes, every freckle that spattered her nose and cheeks, the detailed lines of her Vallaslin and the small cracks on her lips that told of her habit for biting them.

 

It would be _so_ easy, to lean up and kiss her. To cross those few inches and do what he'd been wanting to do for ages, consequences be damned.

 

Still, he hesitated; she'd just lost her Clan, had been mourning for days. He didn't want to pressure her, to hurt her further, ready to pull back-

 

When Cullen noticed a change; Ayr was _closer_ than before.

 

Not by much, maybe half an inch, but he could feel her breath now, see the fear and hope warring in her eyes.

 

Then Ayr swallowed, tilted her head a little and closed her eyes.

 

Cullen's breath caught - if that wasn't an invitation he didn't know what _was_ \- before he _shoved_ the fear away and forced himself to _act_ , not wanting to lose the chance.

 

Ayr's lips were soft, slightly chapped, and he kissed her gently, slowly, worried he would scare her away even as he gripped the ladder tighter.

 

Ayr gave a little sigh and kissed him back, leaning further into him to deepen the contact, lifting a hand to cradle his jaw, touch soft and tender.

 

Cullen's heart felt ready to burst, rising as high as he could on the step to press closer, both freezing for a moment when the rung _squeaked_ under his weight.

 

"Please don't fall off the ladder." Ayr murmured teasingly against his lips, pulling back and smirking a little when he tried to follow her movements.

 

"I will not _fall_ off the ladder," Cullen chuckled, shaking his head and climbing the rest of the way up once she scooted away to make room.

 

He eyed her for a moment - huddled on her knees just out of reach, still wearing an amused smile - before crossing to the bed and taking a seat on the ground beside it, legs bent at the knee, determined to let Ayr control things.

 

He wasn't disappointed; Ayr followed after and crawled into his lap, leaning up to resume their kiss even as she settled so she was straddling him.

 

_Much better_.

 

Cullen's hands came to rest on her hips, tilting his head to deepen the contact and feeling a possessive thrill at the pleased hum that escaped her, smaller hands fisting in the fur of his coat.

 

After longing and wanting for so long, the _reality_ of holding her, of kissing her, was ten times better than anything he'd expected.

 

Ayr opened her mouth at his gentle prodding and sighed when Cullen's tongue twisted carefully around her own, grip on him tightening as she pressed closer, practically _purring_.

 

Kissing her, Cullen vowed, was as far as he would allow himself to go, for now. They needed to talk, first and foremost, and to know exactly where they _stood_ before he would even _think_ about seducing her.

 

No matter the way she was shifting against him, making little mewling noises in her throat.

 

Reluctantly, Cullen pulled away, grinning when this time it was _Ayr_ leaning forwards to follow him, eyes opening to watch him.

 

"So..." Cullen couldn't help teasing a little, thumb tracing little circles on her hipbone, "I think we need to _talk_..."

 

Ayr groaned, head falling forewords to rest against his chest, " _Cullen_..."

 

" _Later_." he finished, chuckling at the whine in her tone, "First, I need to take care of you. When did you eat last, Ayr?"

 

The redhead shifted guiltily, not looking up, "I know, I'm a hypocrite, so sue me..."

 

" _Ayr_."

 

"...not since before the memorial."

 

"Have you _slept_?"

 

"Couple of hours, I think."

 

Cullen sighed, resting his chin on her head and tightening his grip on her, "We're a fine pair, we are."

 

He felt Ayrs arms shift, wrapping around his torso and squeezing gently, "M'sorry."

 

"Don't be." Cullen paused, wondering, "Have you... _mourned_ , Ayr?"

 

It was a strange way to put it, but she seemed to understand, nodding into his chest.

 

"A little. Amaris is worse; she holds everything in. I made her go find Solas."

 

"Your idea, huh?"

 

"Mhm. Seems to have worked; he got her out of Skyhold."

 

"He did." Cullen lifted his hand to her back, rubbing comforting circles, "What about you, Ayr? What do you need?"

 

Ayr hesitated, voice quiet when she finally answered, "I just... didn't want to be alone. I hate being alone. And... I wanted to see you, Cullen. I was just... _so sick_ of dancing around you, pretending..."

 

"I feel the same." it was a relief to say it, to get it out in the open, and now the major question had been answered. He cared for her, and she cared for him.

 

Now, he needed to look after her.

 

"Ayr," Cullen mumbled into her hair, leaning back and pushing curls from her face, "Do you trust me?"

 

Green eyes narrowed a little, though her answer was immediate, "Of course. Why...?"

 

"I need you to stay here for a bit. You can lay down, mess with the furniture, whatever you like. I just need to arrange a few things." Cullen smiled gently at her - an expression he only wore for her, really - and tucked an errant curl behind one pointed ear, "Alright?"

 

"Promise you won't be gone long?" she questioned, fear clear in her tone.

 

"Promise." Cullen bent to kiss her again, already addicted and needing to reassure her, pulling away quickly lest he be drawn to far in, "I'll be quick."

 

Ayr nodded and scrambled from his lap, Cullen standing once she was clear and giving her a last smile before descending the ladder, knowing she was watching him.

 

True to his word, Cullen arranged things as quickly as he could, returning to his office perhaps two hours later with the prayer that she would like his plans.

 

He climbed the ladder quietly, spotting her immediately and grinning knowingly, shaking his head as he stepped onto the solid floor.

 

Ayr was passed out, curled on her side with one of his pillows tucked beneath her chin, breathing calm and even as she dreamed.

 

Not wanting to startle her - and flat out ignoring the feelings rushing through him at the thought of her in _his bed_ \- Cullen crossed the space to kneel beside the bed and reached out to shake her gently, "Ayr, wake up. C'mon, time to go."

 

Ayr made a noise of annoyance in her throat, eyelids scrunching before opening halfway, hazy green blinking at him wearily.

 

Then she frowned, nose scrunching, "I didn't just _dream_ that you kissed me, right?"

 

_That_ made Cullen smirk, shaking his head, "No, Ayr, that wasn't a dream."

 

"Good." Ayr pushed herself up, leaning forwards to brush her lips over his teasingly, a wicked look in her eyes when she pulled away, "Then I can do _that_ without worrying about it."

 

It took every ounce of self control and Templar training Cullen had to resist grabbing her and kissing her senseless, perfectly laid plans be dammed.

 

Somehow, he instead managed to stand, offering her a hand up and helping her to her feet, grinning at her questioning look, "Come on, I have a surprise for you."

 

Ayr only shot him a suspicious look before descending the ladder, waiting for him at the bottom and following along when he directed her out onto the battlements, thrilled when she took his hand as they walked.

 

He could tell she was getting more and more confused as they descended the steps to the courtyard and turned towards the tavern, her lips pursed and brows furrowed.

 

Her confusion vanished the moment they stepped inside, shock and delight replacing the expression at the cheer that rose to greet them.

 

" _There_ you two are!" Dorian announced from his seat at the table, lifting his mug towards them, "About time! Come, sit, let's get this show rolling!"

 

"Hope you know how to play Wicked Grace, Firecracker." Varric chuckled from across the table, shooting a look to his right, " _No_ , Seeker, _don't_ show anyone your cards, remember?"

 

"I was _not_ , Varric-!"

 

"You were _so_!"

 

"Come on, are we playing or what?" Bull groused, "Everyone's here, let's start!"

 

"Let me deal them in, one moment," Josephine reshuffled her deck, making piles at the two empty seats obviously reserved for them.

 

Ayr was silent, staring at the gathering - the table laden with food, their companions laughing and talking and gambling - before her eyes went to Cullen, searching him, "What is this?"

 

"You said you didn't want to be alone." Cullen responded gently, hand resting on the small of her back and urging her towards the table, "I thought... well, that you might enjoy some _extra_ company, and good food... if it's, er, too much..."

 

" _Cullen_." her voice was a smooth, subtle purr, eyes alight with something wicked, "If we weren't surrounded by our friends right now, I would be jumping you. _Thank you_."

 

Feeling the heat rising to his face even as Ayr winked and turned to the table, taking her seat and motioning for him to do the same, Cullen coughed to cover his reaction and slid into place beside her, declining the ale offered to him and keeping an eye on Ayr.

 

This gathering - the food, the friends, the fun - was all for her. This was her night, her time, and he would make sure _nothing_ ruined it.

 

Ayr ate much like he had that first time she'd brought him dinner; quickly and without much thought to chewing, eyes bright as she tried to pay attention to everything at once.

 

Varric - ever the storyteller - wove tale after tale, some Cullen vaguely remembered, others either new or made up on the spot. Josephine proved to be formidable at cards, while Cassandra mostly focused on debating points of Varric's stories, the two getting into heated arguments over tiny details.

 

Dorian - sat on Ayr's other side - was keeping just a close an eye on the elf as Cullen was, sharing a look with the Commander every now and then to let him know things were fine.

 

And then, suddenly, she was crying.

 

Varric had finished whatever story he was telling - a _funny_ story, this one - and Ayr had begun to laugh, shoulders shaking with mirth.

 

And then there were tears escaping her eyes, running down her cheeks and falling from her chin, even as her laughter continued, drawing the concerned gaze of everyone at the table.

 

"Ayr-" Cullen shifted towards her even as she turned and hid her face in his coat, shoulders still shaking as he put an arm around her, muffling the quiet noises she was making.

 

When she'd calmed herself - quicker then he'd expected - Ayr lifted her head, wiping at her eyes and _smiling_ at the group. Not a fake smile, hiding pain, or even a half smile, but a real, _brilliant_ smile, eyes red from her tears and cheeks still damp.

 

" _Thank you_." she breathed, looking around at everyone gathered, "For this. This... this was _exactly_ what I needed. You have... _no idea_."

 

"Any time, dear heart," Dorian assured her, stealing a squeeze around her shoulders.

 

"Whatever you need, Firecracker," Varric grinned, winking cheekily.

 

"You should thank the Commander," Cassandra murmured knowingly, looking _very_ smug as she glanced between the two of them, " _He_ is the one who sought us all out and arranged this little gathering."

 

Ayr's smile was innocent, but Cullen felt her hand slip into his beneath the table, squeezing gently, "Oh, I intend to."

 

Everyone drifted away after that, heading either to their own rooms or some other area of the Keep as darkness fell, casting a sort of soft-glow to the battlements as Cullen led Ayr back out of the tavern.

 

"Do you feel better?" he questioned once they were away from the others, reaching up to tuck her hair back once more.

 

"I do. This was _perfect_ , Cullen, you have no idea." Ayr fidgeted with the end of her shirt then, biting her lip and looking away, "But um... would you maybe... if you don't mind, er..."

 

Unused to _Ayr_ being the shy one, Cullen grinned, "Just _ask_ , Ayr."

 

"Can I... stay with you, tonight? I still... don't want to be alone, and Amaris isn't back, so..." she saw his surprised look and waved her hands frantically, trying to backpedal, "It's okay if you'd rather I not! I know we just... we haven't... I just... never mind..."

 

" _Ayr_ ," needing to calm her and not quite caring if anyone saw at this point, Cullen wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest, chuckling at the little _eep!_ that escape her, "I don't mind at all."

 

She clutched his coat for a moment, whispering a grateful " _Thank you._ " into his chest before pulling away. "Well... I'm exhausted, honestly, so..."

 

Cullen only nodded, taking her hand again as they headed up the stairs to the battlements, entering his office in a comfortable silence.

 

He let Ayr head up the ladder first, blowing out the candles once she was clear and making his way over in the familiar darkness, climbing up after her.

 

The redhead was quick; her boots and pants sat at the end of the bed, the woman herself tucked under the blankets on the side closest to the wall.

 

Once more reminding himself that _he was not seducing her tonight, stop it_ , Cullen stripped down to his breeches and undershirt, trying to _not_ be to aware of her eyes on him the whole time, boots kicked off and left beside hers.

 

Then he blew out the single candle he kept lit in the loft and climbed under the covers, saved the dilemma of reaching for her when Ayr immediately snuggled against his chest, giving a little sigh of content.

 

"Just a warning," she mumbled, hazy voice making it clear she was already on the verge of passing out, "I am a bed _hog_."

 

"Appreciate the warning." Cullen chuckled, letting his arm lay loosely over her waist, feeling her breath ghosting over his skin where her head was tucked beneath his chin.

 

"Jus'so y'know..."

 

Ayr was out, breathing evening out as she drifted into sleep, Cullen's grip on her tightening for a moment before he closed his eyes and did his best to follow, finding sleeps embrace much more easily than he had in years.

 

_Having you is worth any cost, Ayr._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the canon first kiss!scene with Cullen. I love, love, LOVE it. And I FULLY INTENDED to use it for this story.
> 
> And then the muses took over. I give up. 
> 
> REGARDLESS, I hope their admission was worth waiting for! I certainly enjoyed writing it! And Amaris and Solas are ~*BONDED*~ because I am straying SO MUCH FURTHER FROM CANON in regards to what happens with Solas then intended, sigh.
> 
> Damn muses.
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! <3


	9. For Better or Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaris and Solas enjoy the benefits of Bonding.
> 
> The Cousins's share some pillow-talk.
> 
> And Ayr tries to get it through Cullens head that she's not going to disappear on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST AHEAD but I swear it turns out happy!! I swear!! Don't kill me pls!
> 
> No actual smut but ALMOST smut, woo.
> 
> Also despite the title DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP TO MUCH, IT JUST FIT THE THEME OF THE CHAPTER.
> 
> As usual, I have no beta, so I apologize for any mistakes! Enjoy!

Cullen woke slowly from what felt like the best sleep he'd had in years, reluctantly leaving the embrace of the calm, dreamless blackness as trails of sunlight fell over him.

 

Trying to shift, he scowled briefly at the apparent _weight_ on his chest, wondering what could _possibly_ be pinning him to the bed.

 

A soft, feminine sigh just below his chin answered the question, scowl replaced by a rather drowsy grin as golden eyes slid open to take in the still sleeping elf.

 

Ayr had warned him she was a bed hog, but Cullen wondered if she usually cuddled with _Amaris_ or if she'd learned to control her movements when sharing with her cousin.

 

As it was, Ayr had somehow come to be sprawled on _top_ of him during the night, head on his chest and torso's mostly aligned, one slender leg tucked between his while her hands gripped at the sheets. While one of Cullen's arms had been flung over his head as per usual, the other was wrapped loosely over Ayr's waist, keeping her snug against him.

 

Clearly, his sub-conscious mind had agreed with his current thoughts; that waking up with the woman he cared for _deeply_ \- he wasn't going further than that, not _yet_ \- sprawled on top of him was the _best_ way to wake up.

 

Even as he felt himself reacting to her - hard not to, with her pressed so closely and only wearing her shirt and smallclothes - Cullen was content to let her sleep awhile longer, in no particular hurry to move her and rather comfortable where he was, thumb rubbing circles into her back.

 

But of course, things never go as planned; the sunlight spread, streaming in from the hole in the roof - he'd grown accustomed to the light, but wasn't sure if Ayr had noticed it yet - and falling over the redheads face, making her eyes scrunch and her lips twist.

 

Then her eyes slid open, pale green blinking sleepily up at him for a moment before she smiled, mumbling a drowsy "Good morning, Cullen."

 

Oh, yes, he could _definitely_ get used to this.

 

"Good morning, Ayr." Cullen replied, unable to help the lopsided grin he felt spreading on his lips, scar pulling tight.

 

"Someone's in a rather good mood for so early in the morning." Ayr grumbled affectionately, nose wrinkling even as she manoeuvred herself so she was braced on her forearms against his chest, looking down at him.

 

"How can I not be, waking up with a beautiful woman on top of me?" the Commander teased, rewarded when a light flush spread over the elf's cheeks.

 

"Not a situation you've experienced before, Commander?" Ayr murmured, using her nail to trace little circles on his chest.

 

"Never." Cullen would be the first to admit he was far from being a blushing virgin, but the few experiences he'd had had been quick, impersonal, and he'd never shared this quiet intimacy with anyone, "You're the first to pin me to my bed during sleep, I'm afraid."

 

"I _did_ warn you." Ayr had ducked her gaze, red curls hiding most of her face but a blush clear at the ends of her ears.

 

"You did, though I will admit when you said you were a bed hog, I more so pictured myself being pushed _out_ of bed." Cullen shifted so both his hands rested on her back - one at the small of her back and one just near her tailbone - "Do you normally cuddle with your cousin Ayr?"

 

"I've learned to reign it in when I share with Amaris." she was embarrassed, he realized, worried she'd upset him, "I usually sprawl when I have space to myself. With you.... I didn't worry about reigning it in."

 

"I rather _liked_ waking up like this, Ayr," Cullen gave her hip a reassuring squeeze, meeting her gaze easily when she lifted her head, "No need to worry."

 

Ayr smiled and moved to shift her leg out from between his, freezing as she brushed against the steadily forming erection he'd been trying to ignore. Lips curling into a decidedly more _wicked_ expression, she merely continued to move until she was essentially straddling him, purring a quiet "I can _tell_ , Commander," before another shaft of sunlight hit her face and she winced, "Where _is_ that light coming from, anyways?"

 

"Hole in the roof." Cullen grunted, both hands now settling on her hips and gripping rather more _tightly_ then he'd intended, fighting to resist the urge to pin her to the bed and ravish her, "Keep forgetting to get it fixed-"

 

"I like it."

 

_That_ cleared his mind momentarily, eyebrows arching as he stared at her, "Pardon?"

 

"I like it. It lets natural light in, and gives good air flow..." seeing his bewildered expression, Ayr laughed, "Cullen, I'm _Dalish_ , remember? We practically lived outdoors. Did you never notice that Amaris and I always keep the balcony doors _wide open_ in our chambers?"

 

He had, actually, but he'd always figured that was just during the day, not _permanent_ , "Then you... don't mind it?"

 

"Nope. The only thing that bothers me about your loft is the debris I'm assuming _came_ from the roof." Ayr bent so her lips were hovering over his, eyes glinting with mischief, "Easily fixed. Though not right now."

 

 

"Agreed." Cullen _groaned_ when Ayr shifted on purpose, rolling her hips against his and making pure _want_ shoot through him, "Ayr, we still need to _talk_..."

 

"About _what_? Cullen, it's pretty obvious; we're both stubborn fools who held back for far too long because we were afraid." Ayr bent closer so she could ghost a kiss over his lips, breath mingling, "Thing is, I'm not afraid anymore. I _care_ for you, Cullen. I _want_ you. Do _you_ want _me_?"

 

"Makers breath, _yes_..." the Commander growled, lifting his head enough to kiss her properly, ready to flip her beneath him-

 

When the bells went off overhead, signalling the return of the Inquisitor.

 

Even as he cursed mentally at the interruption, Cullen's heart _soared_ at the fact that Ayr hadn't immediately gone running as she would have at the beginning.

 

She grumbled something about _terrible timing_ against his lips before pulling away and slumping _bonelessly_ against him, clearly torn between being annoyed and amused. "Amaris and Solas are back..."

 

"We should greet them." Cullen mumbled, grip on her much more tender then the moment before, sincere in his overall content at just _holding_ her _despite_ his bodies urges.

 

"In a minute." Ayr grumped into his chest, eyes closing as she snuggled back into him, "Surely we can stay in bed a _bit_ longer..."

 

"A bit," Cullen agreed, letting himself settle back into the pillows as his body calmed, "But not too long or I'm sure we'll have people looking for us."

 

Ayr murmured an agreement into his chest, the two falling into comfortable silence as they lay together, listening to the sounds drifting up from the Courtyard.

 

Amaris' return had attracted attention, greetings and well wishes echoing in the morning air, and when the commotion died down Ayr reluctantly pushed herself up and sighed.

 

"Time to get up." she mumbled, bending to kiss him one more time before rolling off him and getting to her feet.

 

Cullen missed her warmth the second she was gone, forcing himself to follow suit and stretching as he stood, shoulders _snapping_ as he rolled them with a wince. He went about dressing even as he tried to _not_ watch her pulling on her pants; all quick, fluid motions as she yanked them up her legs and worked at lacing them up, bottom lip caught between her teeth in concentration.

 

It wasn't hard to imagine himself doing the _opposite_ , unlacing the tight breaches and slipping a hand around to cup her bottom, undressing her with slow, careful movements.

 

_Another day_.

 

Cullen pulled on his coat and settled the heavy mantle on his shoulders as Ayr finished lacing up her boots, tapping her toes on the ground and grinning at him.

 

"I'll have to plan ahead, next time, so I can bring a _change of clothes_ with me," Ayr teased, crossing to him and reaching for his hand, "And we _do_ need to get rid of the debris, Cullen, really."

 

"I half expected to come back to a rearranged loft last night, to be perfectly honest," Cullen chuckled, lifting her hand and pressing an affectionate kiss to her knuckles.

 

"I'm not _that_ ridiculous, Cullen; this is _your_ space, I'm not going to _change it_ without your permission."

 

_It's your space, too._ he wanted to say, biting his tongue at the last moment. That would, perhaps, be too much, too soon. They had _just_ admitted how they felt, after all, and the night before had been an extenuating circumstance.

 

Ayr was likely not ready to leave the comfortable familiarity of rooming with her cousin just yet, and unless Amaris had plans to kick her out, that could last a while.

 

Unless Solas began to spend his nights with the Inquisitor, but that wasn't any of his business, and he would not intrude on their personal business.

 

"I wouldn't mind," Cullen said instead, taking the opportunity to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her close, glad to no longer have to hide his affection.

 

"Don't _tempt_ me," Ayr laughed, reaching up to hook her arm around his neck and pull him down, kissing him happily.

 

Cullen was more than willing to give in to her attentions, though he pulled away before he could be drawn in _too_ far, grinning at her hazy pout. "We'd best be going, lest we _never_ make it out of this room."

 

"If we _must_." Ayr sighed, reluctantly stepping away and giving him one last _look_ before disappearing down the ladder.

 

The Commander could only shake his head and grin before following after, opening the door that faced the rotunda and _bowing_ teasingly, "Shall we, my lady?"

 

Ayr rolled her eyes but mock-curtsied back, "Of course, Commander."

 

They walked side-by-side along the path to the rotunda, comfortable in the silence and not _quite_ ready to hold hands in public _just_ yet. Cullen had a feeling Ayr wanted to _tell_ Amaris before any rumors started to fly.

 

"Is it true?" he asked, a thought striking him suddenly, "That you only come through the rotunda when you're headed to my office?"

 

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's _Solas_ 's haunt, so otherwise I don't go near it; there's a second staircase that leads to the library, after all." Ayr shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant even as they stepped into the specified room, fresco's giving it a vividly _ancient_ feel, "It's the quickest way to your office from the main Keep, though, so... I used it a lot, the last couple of weeks."

 

"Are you prepared to face Vivienne?" Cullen teased, watching her shoulders bunch briefly as they approached the door to the main hall.

 

Then she gave a wry grin, reaching for the door latch, "Are you prepared to face _everyone_ when they realize I spent the night in _your rooms_?"

 

The question had barely registered before she was pushing the door open and stepping through, leaving Cullen to follow in her wake and mentally praying the reaction wouldn't be _too_ bad.

 

To both he and Ayr's surprise, the main hall was mostly _empty_. Cullen knew Josephine had been keeping the noble visitors at a minimum for the cousin' sakes while they mourned, and so the only people present were their companions eating breakfast and the Inquisitor herself.

 

It was a nice change, if he were being perfectly honest.

 

"Well good _morning_ , Sunshines!" Dorian called from the table, glass lifted in a salute and grin downright _smug_ , "I trust you _slept_ well?"

 

" _Incredibly_ well, thank you!" Ayr called back, attention immediately turning to her cousin, standing near the throne with Solas and Cassandra.

 

"Cullen, I just need to talk to Amaris for a minute. I'll be right back, okay?" Ayr's eyes didn't stray from the blonde elf as she spoke, relief and what looked like confusion clear in her eyes.

 

"Of course, Ayr, go ahead."

 

The redhead nodded and strode quickly towards the other elf, pausing to greet Solas and exchanging a few words with Cassandra before the Seeker headed for the table laden with food, giving Cullen a knowing _look_ as she passed him.

 

Solas mumbled something to Amaris - his arm, Cullen noticed, tucked possessively around the blonds waist - before nodding politely to Ayr and extracting himself from the conversation, turning and walking in _his_ direction after a word from Ayr.

 

Cullen hardly noticed the male elf coming up beside him, eyes riveted on the cousins as they exchanged a few quiet words before hugging, relief and happiness clear in both their stances.

 

"You saw to Ayr while we were away, Commander?"

 

Solas's voice was calm, knowing, but there was no malice in the words, and Cullen could only nod, "I did. You'll be pleased to note we are no longer dancing around one another, as it were."

 

"Ah, good. I suspected as much, when you both entered together. She has eaten?"

 

"And slept. I assume you did much the same for our dear Inquisitor, Solas?"

 

Ayr had pulled away from Amaris now and was wrinkling her nose at her, _circling_ her as though hunting down a scent while the blonde only smiled.

 

"Oh, yes. I made sure Amaris had everything she _needed_." the man's tone was a touch proud, possessive, and Cullen knew without asking what he _meant_.

 

"So long as you are both well and happy, I am content."

 

"I assure you, Commander, we are, though I thank you for your worry," Solas turned to him, eyes searching, "I feel I must repeat the sentiment, as both you and Ayr deserve happiness as well."

 

"Thank you, Solas-"

 

"You're _WHAT_?!"

 

Ayr's voice rang out in a _shriek_ , making _everyone's_ attention snap to the two elves still standing near the throne.

 

Ayr looked as though she had recoiled from a _slap_ , hands raised in surprise and eyes wide as she stared at her cousin.

 

Even more confusing, Amaris was completely _calm_ , looking rather amused at the redheads outburst, "Hush, Ayr, no need to cause a ruckus-"

 

"But... that's a _big deal_ , Amaris! There's usually a _ceremony_ , and _witnesses_!" Ayr was waving her hands in what Cullen had realized was an attempt to keep herself _calm_ , expression wavering between happy and shocked, "And it's... y'know... usually _planned_ in advance!"

 

"Well, I can't say we _planned_ it..." Amaris looked _shy_ suddenly, cheeks pink as she smiled somewhat dreamily, "It was rather, ah... _heat of the moment_ , shall we say..."

 

"Wait... are you saying...?" Ayr's eyes went wide, "You _did_ , didn't you...?"

 

"Well, Keeper Deshanna always said it was most powerful if performed during... _passionate_ moments..."

 

" _Creators_ , Amaris!" Ayr's face had flushed _bright_ red, the younger elf backing away from her cousin with a look of embarrassed horror, "That's just... that's..."

 

"It's perfectly _normal_ , Ayr," Amaris was on the offensive now, voice an amused purr as she stalked her cousin, "Really, there's nothing _embarrassing_ about-"

 

"NO! Stop _right there_!" Ayr clapped her hands over her ears, hurrying down the steps in a bid to escape, "I _don't_ want to _know_!"

 

"Come _on_ , Ayr," Amaris followed after the redhead, amusement clear as she continued, "You _know_ you want to-"

 

"ARG!"

 

Bad as he felt, Cullen had a hard time reigning in the laughter that wanted to break free. Solas seemed just as bad, hiding a grin behind his hand and shaking his head as the cousins darted around the hall, Ayr still covering her ears and Amaris calling after her.

 

It wasn't something they saw often, Amaris being so carefree and open, but she deserved the break, after everything she'd been through.

 

They _all_ did, and Cullen noticed the companions at the table watching them with grins and chuckles of their own, entertained and, for once, _relaxed_.

 

He was only _slightly_ startled when Ayr suddenly dodged behind him, gripping his coat and peering out from behind his arm, "Hide me!"

 

"Hiding behind the Commander, Ayr?" Amaris teased, though her eyes lit up as she took in the sight of them together, the easy familiarity that had taken root, "Or are you two _finally_...?"

 

Cullen's lips twitched, though he only responded with the barest of nods, since they hadn't technically _told_ anyone yet.

 

Amaris' grin _widened_ , eyes growing brighter.

 

"Come now, Vhenan, enough tormenting your cousin," Solas chuckled and slipped his arm around the blonde woman's waist, turning her gently towards the table and the food awaiting them, "You said you were craving those frilly cakes, remember?"

 

"Mhm, good point. I could use a cup of tea, to - don't give me that look Solas, just because _you_ don't like it-"

 

"Very well, Vhenan."

 

"You can come out now, Ayr," Cullen mumbled with a grin, noting how the situation mirrored the day before, with her fleeing to him both times, "Shall we join the others?"

 

"Only if Amaris _behaves_ ," Ayr grumped, though she stepped out from behind him and followed when he approached the table, "And she used to be the _innocent_ one, geez, so much for that."

 

"I can guess the _basics_ of what she was talking about..." Cullen drawled quietly, watching her face, "Though I'm going to say there's more _to it_ then what I've gathered."

 

"You have _no idea_." Ayr mumbled back.

 

" _Good morning_ , Ayr. Commander." Vivienne greeted coolly from her seat opposite their approach, arms crossed and expression one that amounted to _something had better have happened between you two or else._

 

"Good morning, Lady Vivienne." Cullen returned, taking his customary seat two down from Amaris, pulling the one to his right out for Ayr.

 

"So?" the Enchanter enquired, still wearing that expectant expression. Cullen was at a loss for words, not liking that the woman was _demanding_ they announce themselves and unsure, still, of exactly where they stood.

 

Ayr, being Ayr, handled it perfectly.

 

Instead of taking the seat he'd pulled out for her, Ayr plopped down in his lap, settling herself with one arm draped around his neck and her legs crossed over each other, eyebrows up as she calmly regarded the mage, "So?"

 

Vivienne's exasperated look evaporated, replaced by a relieved, _victorious_ smile, "Well, it's about _time_ , my dear."

 

"Hear, hear," several others echoed, Ayr merely sticking her tongue out at them before turning to the food.

 

Though it took him a moment to process what had happened, Cullen was more than happy to keep her close, one arm wrapping loosely around her waist while he loaded his plate with the other, Ayr doing the same with a happy little hum.

 

"Inquisitor," it was Cassandra who spoke up, ever the romantic-at-heart and probably one of Amaris' closest friends, looking _incredibly_ curious as she eyed the blonde elf, "Might we enquire as to what that little _outburst_ of Ayr's was about...?"

 

Amaris hesitated, sharing a quick, meaningful look with Solas, turning back to the table when he nodded.

 

"This information stays here, with the people at this table, and _no one else_." Amaris commanded, tone making it clear she was serious, "I'd rather it not be leaked and used against us."

 

There were murmurs of agreement all around the table, and Cullen started when Ayr's hand suddenly found his, squeezing even as her eyes never wavered from her cousin.

 

Apparently content with everyone's response, Amaris smiled, "Solas and I are Bonded."

 

Silence reigned over the table, everyone staring at the two elves as they tried to place the meaning. Ayr's grip on Cullen's hand tightened, but even he wasn't _entirely_ sure of the implications, though he had a hunch he knew what the _rough_ meaning was.

 

"Bonded." Varric repeated, eyebrows drawn - he was a storyteller, he likely hated not knowing what a term meant - as he thought it over, "Which means...?"

 

"It is essentially the Elvhen version of marriage," Solas supplied, his hand moving to cover Amaris' on the table, sharing a quiet smile.

 

_Then_ the commotion began.

 

"You're _married_?!"

 

"When!"

 

"I'll be _damned_ , good work, Chuckles."

 

"Congratulations!"

 

"That is a _big step_ , my dear."

 

"But what about a ceremony?!"

 

The last comment was from Cassandra, the Seeker looking both ecstatic and rather putout at the announcement.

 

"There _is_ usually a ceremony, sometimes big, sometimes small. Our bonding was rather _heat of the moment_ , not something we had _planned_ out," Amaris tried to amend, her cheeks pink, and Cullen understood _exactly_ what the cousins had been talking about before.

 

"Perhaps we could hold a mock-ceremony?" Vivienne suggested, "So that we might be able to give you our blessings, and celebrate your happiness with you?"

 

"It... could not hurt," Solas seemed surprised, if pleased, though his gaze was on Amaris, "If you wanted to, Amaris?"

 

"Perhaps _after_ the peace talks at Halamshiral?" Amaris requested, "Let's get through _that_ particular hurdle and _then_ worry about ceremonies."

 

"An excellent point, my dear, and speaking _of_ ," Vivienne's gaze was on Ayr then, kind but stern, "The seamstress I procured from Val Royeaux has been _most accommodating_ and stayed to ensure we are dressed _splendidly_ for the Ball, my dear, but I fear we are only a week away from the Peace talks. Ayr, I really _do_ need your measurements, whether you like it or not."

 

"Fine." Ayr acquiesced with a sigh, leaning further into Cullen's chest and narrowing her eyes at the other mage, " _But_ , no dresses. I am wearing whatever everyone else is wearing."

 

"But why? Ayr, my dear, you are cousin to the Inquisitor-"

 

"-and no more important to the Inquisition than any other member." Ayr cut her off, and while Cullen wanted to argue that she _was_ important, the redhead explained, "The only person that should be dressed any differently at the Peace Talks is Amaris, as Inquisitor, and _maybe_ her advisors. The rest of us should match, to show respect and allegiance."

 

"Oh, very well, Ayr, as you wish. I have an appointment made for you _right_ after breakfast."

 

"Can't wait." Ayr grumbled, popping another strawberry into her mouth and chewing moodily.

 

Cullen chuckled behind her, giving her hip a quick squeeze as his admiration and respect for the redhead rose another notch. She really was one of a kind, his Ayr.

 

He winced as a sudden pain shot through his skull, masking it with a grin when Ayr turned to offer him a cake, dutifully taking a bite and watching her eyes darken as he swallowed, licking excess frosting from his lips.

 

"Tease." she whispered, turning away and grabbing another cake for herself as he chuckled, flinching as the headache began to form.

 

Cullen was glad Amaris was back, and that Ayr would be spending the night in her own rooms. With how bad the withdrawal was focussing now, he had a feeling he was in for a rough night.

 

_I will not trouble you with this, Ayr. Not when you just lost your Clan._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"Okay, so... maybe I do want _some_ details."

 

Amaris only grinned at her cousins reluctant admission, continuing to brush her hair and humming a little under her breath, "Why, Ayr, here I was thinking we'd _switched_ personalities completely."

 

"Hey, just because I'm blunt doesn't mean I want to know the nitty-gritty about my cousins sex-life." Ayr grumbled behind her, "That's definitely _not_ on my need-to-know list, ick."

 

"You're sure? Because I must say, the sex was _fantastic_."

 

" _Amaris!_ "

 

"Oh _relax_ , Ayr, I won't torment you with dirty details," Amaris put her brush down and turned to pad across the room, climbing onto the bed and shaking her head at the younger elf, "You've heard worse from our Clan sisters, _trust_ me."

 

"Yeah, but they weren't my _cousin_. Or someone I consider a _friend_ , so it wasn't the _same_." Ayr huffed and hugged the pillow she was holding tighter, scowling, "Plus, I'm pretty sure a majority of the stories they told were made up."

 

"You never know." Amaris settled cross-legged, feeling Solas' curiosity through their Bond - he'd noticed her high spirits, no doubt, and was investigating - and sending back a wave of _calm, happy, safe_ before her attention returned to Ayr, "But I digress. What did you want to know?"

 

"I donno, just... Bonding is a _huge step_ , and to do it the way you two did... You've got a different _aura_ , Amaris, it's like there's a sort of _imprint_ on you. Do you _feel_ different? Does _Solas_?"

 

"Not really; I haven't _noticed_ any differences, and Solas hasn't mentioned any. It's more like..." Amaris _hummed_ , trying to think of how to describe it, "It's like I'm _whole_ , like a piece I didn't know was missing has been returned. And we're connected, even when we're apart. If I concentrate, I can tell _exactly_ where Solas is, though the Bond."

 

"That's pretty strong magic, Amaris. Is it _always_ like that."

 

"Not sure. I know Keeper Deshanna said it was strongest when it was between two mages, and the bonding took place through _consummation_ , as ours did - Ayr, stop blushing, I'm just stating _facts_ for Mythals sake - but surely it could be between others as well? Not everyone that Bonds is a mage."

 

"That's why the Keeper or the First always oversees Bonding's, isn't it? Because they seal the Bond for none-mages?"

 

"Mhm. Though I feel like, as long as one party is a mage, they could complete the bonding themselves." Amaris slid her gaze to her cousin, feeling content as a wave of _warmth, gratitude, affection_ washed over her from Solas, "You _may_ want to try to reign your magic in when you're intimate with Cullen, Ayr. Just a thought."

 

Instead of the blush and stammering Amaris had expected at the remark, Ayr frowned, ducking her gaze and squishing her pillow tighter. "Amaris... Cullen's _human_. Can I even _Bond_ with him?"

 

"Why not? I'm sure it's been done before, whether it'd been recorded or not. I don't think it only works with elves."

 

"Assuming it _could_ work... I don't know that he would _want to_ , anyways."

 

"And why is that, Ayr?"

 

"Ex-Templar, remember? Regardless of his breaking away from the Order, Cullen still has reservations about magic. He's never said anything about... me being a mage _bothering_ him, but somehow I doubt he'd be comfortable going through an ancient Elvhen tradition that relies _heavily_ on magical Bonds..."

 

"So just marry him then, simple."

 

"Amaris!" _now_ Ayr was blushing, the reaction Amaris had been going for from the start, "We _just_... I... it is _way too soon_ to even _think_ about-!"

 

"Why? You've been _pining_ for the man long enough, as he has for you. Creators, Ayr, if you've had sex with him, I think you're _allowed_ to think about this stuff." then Amaris paused, curious, "Or... _have_ you...?"

 

"Almost." Ayr admitted quietly.

 

"Almost?"

 

"This morning, right before... but then the bell went off that you'd come back, so..."

 

Understanding lit in Amaris' mind, scowling as she reached out to touch her cousins shoulder, "Ayr... you didn't _have_ to come greet me, you know. I wouldn't have minded."

 

Ayr shrugged, "Kinda broke the mood when it went off right over our heads, honestly. S'okay. There'll be other chances... I hope."

  
"Just be careful not to get pregnant." Amaris kept her voice light, teasing, though the concern was real, "Human men can't control it like Elven men can. Just be careful."

 

Ayr snorted, hiding her red face in her pillow for a moment, "Yeah, okay, Amaris." She paused before her head shot up, green eyes wide, "Are _you-?_ "

 

"Creators, _no_ , Ayr! We didn't _completely_ lose control." now blushing herself and feeling Solas' questioning emotions through the Bond, Amaris amended, "No, we'd have to actually _talk_ about children first, and now is _hardly_ the time."

 

"Kay. Good." Ayr reached out to grip Amaris' hand then, smiling a little, "Don't think I said it before, but congrats, cous. I'm happy you're happy."

 

"I am." Amaris hid a wince when a brief pain flashed through her left palm, curling her fingers into a fist and tucking it behind her back, "I'll be happier once this is over and Corypheus is _dead_ , though."

 

"We'll get there. Together." Ayr wrinkled her nose and sighed, pulling back the covers to slip under, "First... Halamshiral. At least I convinced Vivienne out of putting me in a _dress_..."

 

Amaris knew better, but she kept the thought to herself, wanting to keep _that_ surprise a secret for now.

 

She blew out the candles and slipped beneath the covers as well, feeling a wave of _concern, worry, fear_ flow through the Bond from Solas, potent and urgent.

 

He'd felt her pain, felt the flash of the Anchor, through the Bond; he always would, now.

 

She sent back _peace, calm, serenity_ in an attempt to reassure him, wishing, rather guiltily, that he were there in bed with her, that she could shift a few inches and be enveloped in his warm, familiar embrace.

 

Not yet. Perhaps, once things had been further solidified between her cousin and the Commander, Ayr would take to sharing his bed.

 

For now, she would be the _last_ person to deny Ayr the familiarity of their chambers.

 

_Good night, Solas,_ Amaris thought, trying to convey the words through feelings, _Let us hope for a brighter morning._

 

_Good night, Vhenan._ she almost thought she heard him reply.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"Lady Ayr, hold a moment, please."

 

Ayr paused in her stride across the main hall, turning at Leliana's call with a raised brow. "How can I help, Leliana? If you're looking for Amaris, I'm afraid I can't help."

 

"I have already spoken with the Inquisitor, and no, I was looking for _you_ ," Leliana's smile held secrets, as it always did, though she seemed a tad more _chipper_ than usual, "I have a letter for you. _Two_ , actually."

 

"Letters?" Ayr was intrigued - who in Thedas would be writing to _her_? - and incredibly curious, "From _who_?"

 

"The first is not technically _for_ you, but I thought you'd be the best party to receive it. It is addressed to Mother Giselle, but it's contents are rather more suited to our Tevinter friend."

 

"Dorian? Why not give it directly to him, then?"

 

"Dorian and I are not, how you say, _close_ , Lady Ayr. I think this information would be better received, coming from _you_." Leliana held the missive out - a rather fancy envelop with a formal seal (replaced, of course, after the Spymaster had examined the contents) and scripted writing on the front - "It is from his father."

 

Ayr winced at that, examining the letter, "Dorian isn't on good terms with his family. _This_ will go over well."

 

"Which is _exactly_ why I thought you'd be best suited to deliver it. A softer blow coming from a friend, no?"

 

"Alright, I get it." Ayr sighed, looking expectantly at the older woman, "What's the second letter?"

 

"This one _is_ for you," Leliana held the second envelope out - a much less formal looking missive, and in writing Ayr recognized, "From our Commander's sister."

 

"Mia?" _that_ made her smile, reaching for the letter eagerly, "Good, we haven't had one from her recently. Cullen will be thrilled she's written him again-"

 

"It is addressed to _you_ , Lady Ayr." Leliana corrected her, again wearing that secretive smile, "Though if you share it with the Commander is your choice, of course."

 

"To me?" Ayr flipped the letter over and saw that, yes, it _did_ say her name on the front, not Cullen's. Peculiar.

 

"I will leave you to your day then, Lady Ayr. I just wanted to make sure the letters were delivered _promptly_."

 

"Thank you, Leliana. Don't worry if you hear angry Tevinter _shouting_ from the library."

 

Ayr continued into the rotunda once Leliana had taken her leave, pausing once she was sure the room was empty - where the _heck_ had Solas and Amaris gone _this_ time? - to rip open the letter from Mia and eagerly devour the contents, eyes wide and lips _twitching_ as she read.

 

When she was finished, Ayr couldn't help the _laughter_ that bubbled up from her chest, shaking with mirth and nearly _crying_ from the hilarity of it all.

 

Oh, she _had_ to show Cullen this letter. She would deliver Dorian's _after_.

 

Grinning, Ayr practically _jogged_ out onto the path across the Courtyard and swung the door to Cullen's office open with a flourish, singing out "Cullen! You _have_ to read this letter-"

 

The redhead _froze_ when she realized that not only was Cullen _not_ in his office, one of Leliana's agents _was_.

 

"Pardon the intrusion, Lady Ayr," the man bowed his head, depositing the documents he'd been holding on the Commander's desk and stepping back respectfully, "The Commander went to meet with Seeker Cassandra in the armory, you just missed him."

 

"Ah, I see. Thank you."

 

Ayr waited until the agent had take his leave to cross swiftly to the other doors and stride out over the battlements, headed for the armory.

 

She _knew_ Cullen and Cassandra were friends, _knew_ they'd have secrets between them, but something felt off, and she needed to find out what.

 

Raised voices were vaguely audible from within the building as Ayr quietly approached the door, not wanting to interrupt but needing to know what was going on.

 

Still, she did her best to be as _quiet as possible_ as she inched the door open, slipping in as soon as it was wide enough-

 

"-unable to fulfill what vows I kept then _nothing good_ has come of this!" Cullen's voice _snapped_ , weary and edged with frustration, "Would you rather save face then _admit-_ "

 

The door chose that moment to _groan_ as it swung shut behind her, Ayr wincing as both Cullen and Cassandra's gazes shot to her, trying to appear nonchalant as she abandoned the attempt at stealth and approached them.

 

Cullen's gaze dropped to the ground as though unable to look her in the eye, the Commander slumped and defeated as he moved past her, murmuring a weak "Forgive me." before leaving without another word.

 

"And people say _I'm_ stubborn, this is _ridiculous_." Cassandra huffed, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes at the elf, "Cullen told you he is no longer taking Lyrium?"

 

"Yes, and I respect his decision."

 

"As do I. _Not_ that he's willing to listen. Cullen has asked that I recommend a _replacement_ for him."

 

"But-" Ayr' eyebrows shot up, startled. He hadn't mentioned a _thing_ about the withdrawal getting worse, about being in pain. _Was that why he got sick? And then he was to busy looking after me..._

 

Cassandra held up a hand to stop her, "I refused, it is not necessary. Besides... it would destroy him. He has come _so_ far."

 

"Why wouldn't he come to _me_?" she couldn't help the nagging worry, couldn't quite force away the thought that he didn't _completely_ trust her, "I promised I would _help_ him if it got worse."

 

"We had an agreement _long_ before you joined us, Ayr. And..." the Seeker softened a little, "He cares for you greatly. He would not want to disappoint you."

 

"Is there anything we can do to change his mind?"

 

"If anyone could, it's _you_. Cullen has a chance to _free_ himself from the leash all Templars are held by; I believe he can do it, _especially_ now that he has you."

 

"I haven't done anything."

 

"Perhaps you cannot see it, but I can. Cullen has grown stronger since you joined us." Cassandra paused, looking into the fireplace for a moment, "I am leaving with the Inquisitor shortly, on a... somewhat personal mission, to locate the other Seekers. _Talk to him_ , Ayr. Do not let the good he has done go to waste."

 

Ayr nodded, waiting till the Seeker had left and taking a deep breath before leaving the armoury, heading back up the staircase to the battlements and striding swiftly towards Cullen's office.

 

Ayr pulled the door open and stepped inside, immediately freezing when something went _flying_ past her head, smashing into the wall and what sounded like _glass_ shattering as it hit the ground.

 

"Makers breath!" Cullen was wide-eyed and sweating, staring at her in horror, "I didn't hear you _enter_ , I..." he winced, ducking his gaze and moving slowly around the desk, movements slow and agonized, "Forgive me..."

 

"Cullen, if you need to-" Ayr broke off with a curse, crossing immediately to his side when he buckled, hands lifting to his chest even as he caught himself on the desk, "Cullen! _Talk_ to me."

 

"I never meant... for this to interfere..." he was mumbling, eyes hazy, a hand lifting to press over hers.

 

"Are you going to be alright?" she was terrified, not knowing how to help or what to do.

 

"Yes..." Cullen winced, breath leaving him in a rough exhale, "...I don't know."

 

He pulled away from her then, almost _wrenching_ himself from her as though burned, expression closing as he put distance between them. "People have asked what happened at Ferelden's Circle. It was taken over by _abominations_. The Templars, _my friends_ , were _slaughtered_!"

 

Ayr stayed where she was, watching him worriedly as he paced to the window, leaning against the wall as if unable to stay standing any longer.

 

"I was _tortured_. They tried to break my _mind_ , and I... how can you be the same _person_ after that? Still, I wanted to _serve_. They sent me to _Kirkwall_. I trusted my Knight Commander, and for what, hmm? Her fear of mages ended in _madness_. Kirkwalls Circle fell, innocent people _died_ in the streets! Can't you see why I want _nothing_ to do with that life?!"

 

"Of course I can." Ayr took a step forwards, wanting to help but not to agitate him, "Let me _help-_ "

 

" _Don't_." Cullen's voice was harsh, a commanding bark that cut her words off immediately, the Commander covering his face even as he began to pace in front of her, "You, _everyone_ should be questioning what I've done. I thought this would be _better_ , that I would regain some _control_ over my life, but... these thoughts won't _leave me_!"

 

All Ayr could do was watch him pace, her hands on her hips and her lip caught between her teeth, frustrated and worried.

 

"I _swore_ myself to this cause! To protect these people! To protect _you_! I will not give less to the Inquisition then I did the Chantry! I should be _taking it_!"

 

Cullen _swung_ then, fist colliding sharply with his bookcase and sending several volumes toppling to the ground, panting and muttering under his breath.

 

" _Cullen_ ," fed up and needing to _help_ , Ayr crossed the space between them and stood right in front of him, drawing his attention, "This doesn't have to be about the Inquisition. Is this what _you_ want? Honestly?"

 

Cullen stared back for a moment, expression hard, before he sighed, "No. But..." golden eyes fell to the floor for a moment before finding hers again, weary and tormented, "these thoughts have always haunted me... if they become worse, if I... if I cannot _endure_ this..."

 

Ayr lifted her hands to frame his face, touch meant to be gentle and grounding, reassuring and _determined_ , "You _can_ , Cullen."

 

Eyes falling closed, the Commander sighed, leaning into her touch, "Alright."

 

They stayed like that for a moment, Ayr running her thumb over his cheek, before she murmured "D'you want me to stay?"

 

"I think... I need some time alone." Cullen kept his eyes closed, as though afraid to look at her, "I need to think."

 

"O-of course." Ayr swallowed thickly, lowering her hands and stepping back, making sure he was steady before moving away, pausing to set the letter on the end of his desk, "Mia... wrote back. You should read it. It's, um... well, just... read it, okay?"

 

Ayr crossed to the door without another word and let it close loudly behind her, pressing her back to it and taking several deep, gulping breaths.

 

_I will not cry. That was not a fight. We didn't fight. We're **fine**. He just needs time. He just... _

 

Ayr couldn't help the _sob_ that escaped before she clapped a hand over her mouth and _ran_ across the path to the rotunda, thankful it was empty and making a mad dash up to the library to find Dorian.

 

His reaction to the letter was _exactly_ what she'd expected, and though he noticed her strange mood, her friend knew _exactly_ how to get her mind off of it.

 

"Let's go. Right now, and meet with this _messenger_ of my fathers, so I can send him _packing_ back to Tevinter."

 

"I'm in." Ayr hiccoughed a little, hiding it with a gesture and parting only long enough to grab some light armor and her staff before meeting Dorian back at the stables.

 

Ayr lead her Hart out of her pen and swung up into the saddle the second she was clear, casting a longing look at Cullen's tower before _snapping_ the reigns and taking off over the bridge, hooves _pounding_ against the stone.

 

_Things will be better when we get back. Please, **please** let them be better when we get back._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_Dear Ayr,_

_I know it's strange of me to write directly to **you** , but this letter was demanded by Rosalie and Branson and, frankly, I myself am curious as well._

_Please take no offense, as we love you both, but here it is:_

_Have you two idiots **kissed** yet?_

_Eagerly awaiting your reply,_

_Mia, Rosalie and Branson Rutherford._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

When Ayr and Dorian returned from their expedition to Redcliffe - Dorian quiet and likely going over the meeting with his _father_ (surprise surprise, it hadn't been a messenger at all) in his mind - the Courtyard seemed barren, desolate, reflecting the mood she'd been in since leaving Skyhold.

 

As she dismounted her Hart and turned to lead her back to the stables, Ayr froze when she spotted Cullen descending the steps to the courtyard, golden eyes clear and focused determinedly on _her_.

 

The Commander stopped maybe two feet from her, lifting his hand to her, voice quiet when he spoke, "Come with me?"

 

Ayr stared at the outstretched hand for a moment before _jerking_ when Dorian pulled her Harts reigns from her grasp, patting her gently on the shoulder. " _Go_." he whispered, "I think you two need some _time_."

 

Nodding gratefully, Ayr turned back to the Commander and took the offered hand, heart thumping when he gripped her tightly and turned to lead her out of the courtyard.

 

They ascended the steps to the battlements in silence, hands still clasped as they walked across the expanse and past soldiers and agents.

 

Cullen released her to open the door to his office and let her in first, closing and, she noticed, _locking_ the door behind him.

 

Ayr fidgeted, tucking her hair behind her ear and watching him curiously, _hopefully_ , not at all sure what to say in that moment.

 

Cullen saved her the trouble, taking a piece of parchment from his desk and holding it out to her, expression one she couldn't read. "Here."

 

"What is...?"

 

"A response, to Mia's letter. I'm..." he stopped, took a deep breath, and then pressed on, "I'm not good with _words_ , Ayr. I don't know how to _soothe_ , how to _fix_ things. So... I started to write. And I just..."

 

Cullen cursed, breaking off, pressing the letter into her hands and crossing to the couch, sinking down onto it as though unable to bear standing a moment longer.

 

Hands shaking, Ayr lifted the letter and started to read, heart breaking with every word.

 

_Dear Mia,_

_I am an idiot. I have ruined the best thing in my life through nothing but my own fallacies. I have lost the one woman I've ever cared about this deeply due to-_

 

That was as far as she got; Ayr let her magic spark and _flames_ rose from her hands, eating the letter and turning it into ash in a matter of seconds.

 

"Ayr-!"

 

Ayr was on Cullen in a second, straddling his lap and pressing her lips urgently to his as her hands gripped at his shoulders, using his surprise to deepen the kiss.

 

"Cullen Rutherford, you haven't ruined _anything_." she hissed against his mouth, pressing as close as she could considering they were both wearing armor, _desperate_ to make him see, "You haven't _lost_ me, I'm not going _anywhere_. I didn't know you before, but I _like_ who you are now."

 

"I hate that you saw me like that, I almost-"

 

" _Cullen_ , no one is perfect! _I'm_ not perfect. _Please_ don't shut me out because you're worried my opinion of you will change." Ayr was pleading, but she didn't care, keeping her eyes locked with his, "I want to help, no matter what happens. If you're in pain, _tell me_. Your past, your present, the good, the bad, I want it _all_. I want _you_. That hasn't _changed_."

 

There was a shift in his expression then, golden eyes determined as he wrapped his arms firmly around her, leaning up to kiss _her_ this time, hungry and affectionate and _relieved_.

 

" _What did I do to deserve you_." Cullen mumbled against her mouth, lifting a hand to tangle his fingers in her hair and tilting her head further, kissing her deeper, "Makers _breath_ , Ayr."

 

Ayr only made a happy noise in the back of her throat, to busy kissing him to bother with words.

 

Then Cullen pulled back, resting his forehead against hers as they caught their breath, lips curved in a half smile. "Thank you, Vhenan." he mumbled affectionately.

 

Ayr's eyes went wide, breath catching at the word. "What... did you just...?"

 

"Vhenan." Cullen frowned, hesitant, "Did I say it wrong...?"

 

"Do you... _know_ what that means?"

 

"Yes, Solas said it meant 'my heart' in Elvhen-"

 

Ayr cut him off with her lips, tangling a hand in the blonde curls at the nape of his neck and kissing him as deeply as she could.

 

" _Ar lath ma, Vhenan,_ " she whispered fervently into his mouth, happy tears trailing down her cheeks, "Ar lath ma, ar lath ma, ar lath ma-!"

 

" _Ayr_ ," Cullen groaned, grip on her nearly bruising, "What does that-"

 

"You'll just have to figure it out." Ayr breathed happily, clinging to him, "Just know you're not getting rid of me anytime soon, Cullen Rutherford."

 

"Thank the Maker for that."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_Dear Mia,_

_Yes, we've kissed. And yes, we know we're idiots._

_Things are, as usual, crazy here. But that's kind of the norm. We're heading to the Winter Place in about a week; Cullen says maybe you can visit sometime after that? It may be safer to come to Skyhold for the time being, anyways._

_As usual, hope everything is fine! Say hi to Rosalie and Branson for us._

_Sincerely, Ayr and Cullen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um... don't kill me? Also the muses VERY MUCH TOOK OVER AGAIN DAMMIT.
> 
> Halamshiral was supposed to happen this chapter. Obviously, Halamshiral DID NOT happen this chapter. Sigh. Whatever. 
> 
> I wanted it to be clear that Ayr is there for Cullen no matter what happens, and I THINK I did a good job? Maybe? I hope? I tried, regardless. Neither of them are perfect, they both have their issues, but I feel like they can work them out, together.
> 
> As usual, there will be screens to accompany this chapter over on my tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cousinslavellan . And um... I may have ordered a curly red wig and an official Dorian sweater and may be intending to do a modern!Ayr cosplay for a convention next year. >>;; Ahahaha oops.
> 
> ANYWAYS I hope you enjoyed! Kudos and comments make my day! <3


	10. Halamshiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayr sets out to help Cullen relax... and gets more then she bargained for.
> 
> Halamshiral is made MUCH easier by having a cousin to tag-team with.
> 
> And Vivienne is Vivienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT AHOY. Not HARD CORE, full smut, but still enough to count! Woo!
> 
> I am... not necessarily UNHAPPY with this chapter? but Halamshiral is FAR from my favorite part of the game, and I hope that doesn't reflect to terribly here.
> 
> But yeah. RELATIONSHIP PROGRESS! Anyways... ENJOY!

Amaris was gone for two days hunting the remaining Seekers with Cassandra, Solas and Varric in tow, and while others were preparing for the event that was Halamshiral, Ayr stayed with Cullen.

 

That first night was the worst; Cullen had tossed and turned, plagued by nightmares and fever, waking constantly with a gasp or a scream dying on his lips.

 

Ayr just plain didn't _sleep_ , to worried about him hurting himself during the night, quick to reassure him with gentle touches and soothing words every time he started awake, wishing she could chase away the nightmares again but to anxious to follow him to the Fade.

 

The next day saw them remaining in bed, exhausted and weary, Ayr drowsily running for food when their stomachs rumbled demandingly and then falling into a _much_ calmer sleep once night had fallen.

 

Cullen - stubborn, _stubborn_ man that he was - returned to work the day after, despite the continued withdrawal pains. They _were_ lessening, he promised Ayr, just taking a while to dissipate completely.

 

Knowing better then to try to talk him out of it, Ayr merely accompanied him around the Keep, keeping a close eye on his motions and expressions and watching for any sign of pain.

 

"Is it always that bad?" she had asked him the second night, curled against him in bed and soaking in the _warmth_ he exuded.

 

"The pain comes and goes," Cullen had mumbled into her hair, arms tight around her, "I should not have pushed myself so far that day... I'll be alright, Ayr. Thanks to you."

 

"I didn't do anything." Ayr had snuggled closer - half because she loved the feeling of _safety_ he gave her, and half to hide her red face.

 

"You've done more then you know." had been the quiet response.

 

Amaris and the others had returned, successful in locating the Seekers but not in saving them. Cassandra had secluded herself, intending to study the book she'd been given by the last lord Seeker, promising she would be ready for Halamshiral by the time they had to leave.

 

Varric, Ayr had noticed, was even leaving the Seeker _be_ while she studied the book, much as he looked like he _wanted_ to interrupt. She wondered, idly, if there really _was_ something more there.

 

Her focus, however, was on looking after Cullen, and even though his withdrawal wore off day by day, she still stayed by him, making good on her promise. _I'm not going anywhere._

 

Even after Amaris had returned, Ayr had continued to spend her nights with Cullen, wanting to make _sure_ that he was alright, that he was sleeping.

 

And... she could admit, to herself, that she _liked_ sharing his bed, falling asleep and waking up with strong arms wrapped around her and warmth surrounding her, stubble tickling her when Cullen would nuzzle against her cheek or her throat.

 

She still hadn't moved anything in his rooms, hadn't brought clothes up or stashed any belongings, but... she wanted to. Wanted to spend every night with him, Lyrium Withdrawal symptoms or not, wanted to bask in that closeness.

 

A conversation for another day.

 

Ayr _knew_ Cullen was feeling better the day before their departure for Halamshiral when he grabbed the hazardous debris - she'd been quiet about it, knowing he wasn't feeling well - and _tossed_ them down to his office, grinning at her surprised look before sliding down the ladder to dispose of them.

 

Following after, Ayr was in time to catch his smug smirk as he finished tossing them out onto the unused portion of the battlements, where they would be rounded up later by soldiers.

 

Then Cullen _flinched_ , a hand coming up to rub at his neck as he rolled his shoulders, audible _cracks_ and _snaps_ echoing in the room.

 

" _Must_ you push yourself?" Ayr chastised, crossing to wrap her arms around his torso and give him a pointed look, concerned.

 

"I'm _fine_ , Ayr, this is nothing new," Cullen tried to smile and bent to kiss away her worries, his wince telling Ayr he was still in pain, "I'll be alright."

 

An idea forming as she noted the tension in his arms and shoulders, Ayr returned the kiss for a moment before pulling away, murmuring, "We should pack for the Winter Palace, _and_ meet with the others to go over the arrangements."

 

Cullen murmured his agreement, and they were off to the main Keep, since the Commander needed to meet with Amaris and the other advisors before anything else.

 

Ayr took the chance to slip away for a bit, approaching Vivienne hesitantly as the other mage oversaw the packing of the formal uniforms, "Vivienne? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

 

"Of _course_ , my dear," Vivienne was all smiles as she turned to her, though Ayr noted she had purposely tucked away the bundle she was messing with - probably Amaris' dress, since she'd been keeping it secret - "How can I help?"

 

"I need to ask a favor."

 

_Now_ Vivienne's smile was brilliant, " _Anything_ , darling."

 

Ayr only hesitated a moment before detailing her request, blushing under the other mages gaze but refusing to back down.

 

"That won't be hard to obtain at all, Ayr. I shall have it ready by tonight. Come see me after dinner."

 

"I will. Thank you, Vivienne."

 

"Of course, my dear. Though Ayr... _please_ do make sure you two get _some_ sleep tonight, hmm? It is a _long_ ride to Halamshiral."

 

Ayr merely sputtered, turning brighter red before nodding and quickly taking her leave, Vivienne's laughter echoing behind her.

 

She was _thankfully_ back to her normal colours when she rejoined Cullen and the others, parting ways briefly to accompany Amaris to their quarters to pack a few things for the journey.

 

Ayr just hoped he would _like_ her surprise.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Once dinner was finished that evening and everyone was leaving to finish their own preparations, Ayr paused at the door to the rotunda, grip on Cullen's hand making him stop as well.

 

(She noted, vaguely, that Solas was following Amaris to her chambers instead of leaving for his own, and Ayr wondered if the discussion of moving into Cullen's loft should be moved up. Not tonight, though.)

 

"I have a request." Ayr voiced, nervous and excited and _praying_ he wouldn't ask questions.

 

"Anything." was Cullen's immediate answer, making her heart thump.

 

"Go to your loft, take off your armor and your shirt, and _relax_." seeing the way his eyebrows shot up, Ayr pressed on, "I need to grab something quick, but just _trust me_ , okay? I've got a... surprise, for you."

 

Cullen stared at her for a moment, as though trying to figure out what this surprise could be, before nodding slowly, "Alright, Ayr. I'll bite."

 

Ayr grinned and made shooing motions, waiting until he'd headed into the rotunda before turning and darting to the other door, climbing the stairs quickly and doing her best to ignore Vivienne's _knowing_ look as she turned to her.

 

"Here you are, darling," Vivienne offered her a little bottle of amber liquid, glinting in the candle light, "Remember, we have an _early morning_ tomorrow."

 

"Mhm, yup. Thank you, Vivienne." Ayr did her best to _not_ snatch the bottle and flee, instead taking it _carefully_ and _slowly_ walking back to the door.

 

_Then_ she booked it - through the now-empty library and down the stairs into the empty rotunda, dashing across the path to Cullen's office and skidding to a dead _stop_ at the door to catch her breath and _calm down_.

 

Then she waited a couple of minutes - not too long, just wanting to make sure he'd had _time_ to comply with her request - before opening the door and stepping inside, glad at least that he wasn't dallying over reports or other work.

 

Ayr locked all three doors before tucking the bottle in her pocket and beginning to climb up to the loft, wanting to make sure they weren't disturbed. This was about helping him _relax_ ; having an agent or soldier come _waltzing_ into his office would have the _opposite_ effect.

 

Looking up as soon as her head was clear of the floor, Ayr grinned, "The Commander actually _listened_ to an order for once, it's a miracle!"

 

Said Commander only chuckled, "Well, when you asked so _nicely_... though I must admit, I'm _dying_ to know what you've got planned, Ayr."

 

"You'll see." Ayr answered simply, pulling herself up and crossing to the little table she'd had brought up - the _only change_ she'd made, thank you, and only so they had a safe place to _put_ things - to set the bottle down for a moment, turning to just _look_ at him over her shoulder.

 

Cullen had done as asked; stripped so he was just wearing his breeches, stretched out on his stomach with his arms crossed beneath his chin. Ayr eyed the muscled lines of his back and shoulders appreciatively, the strength he usually hid behind armor all too clear now that he was bare.

 

_Focus, Ayr._

 

"I know you've been in a lot of pain, Cullen; from the Withdrawal, if nothing else. And you've tensed up again, the last couple of days."

 

Cullen shifted guiltily, "I have not-"

 

"You _have_." Ayr sighed, kicking her boots off and finishing rolling her sleeves up before grabbing the bottle and approaching the bed, "We leave tomorrow morning, and the _last_ thing you need is to be so tense you _snap_. So, I'm here to help."

 

"And _how_ ," Cullen's voice had deepened, eyes following her movements, "Will you do _that_?"

 

"Simple." lest she lose her nerve, Ayr moved quickly; climbing on the bed and straddling him just above his hips, knees against the bed on either side of his legs as she grabbed the bottle and popped the cork, pouring some of the amber liquid into her hand before recapping it and tossing it aside.

 

"Ayr! What're you-" Cullen's voice broke off into a throaty groan when her hands landed on his shoulders and began to _knead_ , "Maker's _breath_ , Ayr..."

 

"Like that?" she grinned at his answering groan, continuing to work at the knots in his shoulders, the tension beneath his skin loosening as she kneaded, "You have so much _tension_ in your muscles, I thought you'd appreciate a massage."

 

His only response was a muffled grunt as he buried his face in his arms, occasionally shuddering when she would hit a new knot or particularly sensitive spot.

 

Humming, Ayr focussed first on his shoulders, only moving on when she couldn't find any more big knots or cramped muscles - working briefly at the base of his neck and smiling at the muffled noises he was making.

 

Moving to his upper back, Ayr let her magic spark, just enough to warm her fingers and the oil she was massaging into his skin.

 

Cullen _jerked_ when her thumbs pressed into two especially tight knots, hissing out a breath as his head shot up, "Is that _magic_ -?"

 

"Mhm, just to warm the oil." realizing he might not want her using her magic _on_ him, Ayr jerked her hands away, "I can stop if you-"

 

" _Don't_." Ayr froze at the _growl_ that left her Commander, back straining up as though missing her touch, "Don't you _dare_ stop."

 

While normally Ayr hated being ordered around, heat _lanced_ through her at the guttural tone his voice had taken, swallowing thickly as it pooled low in her belly.

 

Slowly, Ayr lowered her hands back to his skin, returning to the vicious knots and _shivering_ at the appreciative noise he made, slumping back to the bed.

 

This was what she had wanted; to help him _relax_ , unwind, let _go_ of the tension for a while.

 

_This is for Cullen. You are **not** jumping him tonight, Ayr, no!_

 

Ayr continued determinedly, seeking out every knot she could find and massaging them out, fingers deft and dipping into muscles that had probably been tensed for _years_.

 

It was as she got closer to his lower back that Ayr realized Cullen was making little _jerky_ movements beneath her, hardly noticeable at first but growing stronger and more desperate the more she worked at his back.

 

Then her fingers pressed into a knot _right_ above his tail bone and he _moaned_ , a loud, obscene noise accompanied by a frantic hip-jerk and his hands _gripping_ at the sheets.

 

Ayr froze for a moment as her entire body flushed, staring at the back of his head as he continued to jerk beneath her, realization dawning. _Is he...?_ Testing, she pressed down on that area again, this time strengthening the heat spell so that it _pulsed_ over his skin, and the downright _lewd_ noises and hip-movements confirmed it.

 

Cullen Rutherford was coming completely, entirely undone, from a _massage_ , rutting against the mattress while her fingers stroked over him.

 

It made Ayr feel _incredibly_ powerful and proud, beyond pleased that she had such an effect on him and that he felt _comfortable_ enough to _let_ his carefully kept control go.

 

It also made her _burn_ \- particularly where his body lay between her legs, warm and heavy - and _want_ , but tonight was not about her.

 

It was about _him_.

 

Ayr scooted backwards just enough to dig her fingers into the fleshy bits right around his hips, biting her lip at the noises he made and _knowing_ he was close by the frantic rolls of his hips.

 

She stroked up his back, pressing into knots and, feeling daring, letting her lips ghost over his spine, laying flush against him as she reached the base of his neck.

 

Ayr didn't know if humans ears were as sensitive as elves' - had never wondered, until this specific moment - but she _hoped_ they were, leaning down to breathe in Cullen's, voice a commanding purr.

 

"Let _go_. Come for me, Cullen." she accentuated the point by biting _down_ on the lobe, fingers digging into the sensitive spots near his collar bone.

 

The effect was instant; Cullen practically _roaring_ as his head snapped back and his body went rigid, arching desperately into the mattress.

 

Then he collapsed against the bed, panting and boneless, Ayr grinning smugly as she sat back to examine her handiwork.

 

_That's one way to make a man relax._

 

Even as she enjoyed the view of the Commander undone, Ayr noticed a strange tension rising as his breathing settled, no longer completely limp beneath her.

 

Feeling ridiculously _shy_ , Ayr shifted to climb off him; swinging her leg over and turning to crawl to the other side of the bed, "Well, um... now that you're _relaxed_ , we should _sleep-_ "

 

Ayr didn't even see Cullen move; she heard a rustle and suddenly his arms were around her, pulling her back against him as he pressed his face into her throat, one hand splayed on her stomach while the other slipped beneath her pants, sliding lower-

 

" _Cullen_!" Ayr _gasped_ when he cupped her through her smalls, hips jerking automatically in response to his touch, "What're you-"

 

"I need to touch you, Ayr." Cullen rumbled, eyes liquid gold when she turned her head enough to see him, relaxed and tender and _hungry_ , " _Please_ , Ayr."

 

Swallowing, all Ayr could do was nod, sucking in a breath when he _pressed_ harder, still gentle but with more confidence now.

 

For all her flirting and normally brusque comments on sex, Ayr had never actually been _intimate_ with anyone. She'd never been touched like this; hell, she'd never touched _herself_ down there asides from to wash.

 

Cullen had been her first _kiss_ , for Mythal's sake; it seemed, now, that the Commander would be her first _everything_.

 

Ayr was already a gasping mess when he pushed aside the fabric of her smalls and traced a finger along her seam, both groaning at the moisture there.

 

"Makers _breath_ , Ayr," he was using her own tactics against her, breathing right in her ear, "So _wet_ , just for me."

 

Ayr was blushing, embarrassed by how quickly her body responded to him, head turning away even as she groaned, " _Cullen_..."

 

Then she _froze_ when he shifted his hand and pressed one finger _inside_ , a strangled mewl escaping her at the foreign sensation.

 

"Okay?" Cullen murmured into her throat, hand still to let her adjust, the other rubbing affectionate circles on her stomach.

 

Ayr only nodded, biting her lip and rocking her hips cautiously, whimpering at the shock of pleasure that shot through her. "Please..."

 

She didn't know _what_ she was asking for, but Cullen seemed to; he stroked her languidly for a moment before adding another finger, stretching and stimulating, breath hot and urgent on her throat.

 

"That's it, Ayr." Cullen growled, speeding his strokes, "Come for me, Vhenan."

 

A needy whine was the only sound Ayr could manage as she rocked against him, feeling the tension in her belly growing tighter and tighter with every movement.

 

She'd been so primed, so bloody _aroused_ just from his reactions during the massage, that it didn't take long before that ball of tension _snapped_ , flailing as she _shrieked_ and arched against him, gasping for air as he guided her through the aftershocks.

 

Then she slumped limply against him, panting and blushing, feeling his chest vibrate with a husky chuckle.

 

"You know..." she croaked after a moment, voice shot, "...tonight was supposed to be about _you_ , not _me_."

 

"I think we _both_ needed the _release_." there was a possessive hint to his voice, a certain air of smugness,  and Ayr thrilled in the way he shifted to pull her snugly against his chest, arms tight and warm around her, "I most _definitely_ enjoyed your _massage_ , Ayr."

 

"I could tell." the redhead grumbled, yawning widely as utter _exhaustion_ crept over her, feeling pleasantly spent and sated.

 

Ayr rolled in his embrace so she could snuggle into his chest, pressing her lips over his heart briefly with a murmur of _Ar lath ma, Cullen_ as her eyes began to close, sleep claiming her.

 

Cullen only stroked her hair back from her face with a contented rumble, following her quickly into sleeps embrace.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Despite Vivienne's worries, Cullen and Ayr were two of the _first_ people up, packed and ready by the time everyone was to meet.

 

They would be stopping, Josephine explained, at an Inn not far from the Winter Palace, in order to change into their formalwear.

 

"We have a long ride ahead, and, as per yet another strange Orlesian custom, we cannot access our personal quarters until the first _half_ of the masquerade is over. I thought it best we wear comfortable clothing till we reach the Inn, _especially_ the Inquisitor."

 

Everyone echoed their agreements, and they saddled up, ready to ride for the Winter Palace.

 

Cullen, Ayr had noticed, was _touching_ her more than usual; hands brushing as he handed her the reigns to her Hart, hips bumping as he passed her, a hand ghosting over her lower back occasionally as they'd prepared earlier in the morning.

 

He was looking at her differently, to; golden eyes proud and a touch possessive, a smirk pulling at his scar whenever their eyes met.

 

And even as she found herself blushing and jumping under the new attention, it also _thrilled_ her; Cullen wasn't hiding anything anymore. _Neither_ of them were, and that was a _huge_ step.

 

Amaris gave the command, and the company was off, mounts speeding over the bridge and out into the mountains, towards Halamshiral.

 

_Let's hope we can do what we have to._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The Inn was, thankfully - and likely _purposely_ \- empty of anyone besides the Inquisitors retinue when they stopped, the women taking one room while the men took another to get changed.

 

Cullen was one of the first to finish, scowling and fidgeting with his belt, then the sash...

 

_Ridiculous_.

 

_Everyone_ was wearing the same formal armor, he knew, and while Vivienne had made sure to get _everyone's_ measurements, he still felt stuffy and constricted in the red, blue and gold uniform.

 

Dorian seemed only mildly uncomfortable, and Solas strangely _amused_ , eyes keen on the door the women had entered.

 

"Should I _ask_ what you find so amusing?" Cullen questioned, watching the elf's smile widen.

 

"I cannot say, even if you do. It would ruin the _surprise_."

 

"Well now, don't _you_ three look dashing."

 

Cullen's gaze snapped back to the door at the amused voice, staring.

 

Ayr was grinning at them, hands on her hips and eyebrows lifted. She was dressed in a slightly more feminine version of the same uniform, and while Cullen was briefly disappointed that Vivienne _hadn't_ forced her into a dress, he had to admit that she made the formalwear look _good_.

 

He felt that same surge of possessiveness rise as he watched her, laughing at something Dorian had said. He couldn't help it; it felt like they had actually staked a _claim_ on each other now, marked one another.

 

Cullen rather _liked_ the feeling, honestly.

 

"So, Commander," Ayr had slunk up to him while he was lost in thought, letting her hands rest against his chest as she grinned teasingly up at him, "Thoughts?"

 

"I half expected Vivienne to go back on her word and put you in a dress, to be honest," Cullen chuckled, hands coming to her hips, "Though I must admit; you make these uniforms look _good_ , Ayr."

 

"Please, have you _seen_ yourself?" she purred, "Like a prince right out of a fairytale, Commander, I'm _swooning_."

 

"Ayr, darling, we need a hand, please!" Vivienne's voice cut through the moment before Cullen could act on his urge to _sweep_ Ayr away, the redhead sighing and reluctantly pulling away from him.

 

Shrugging, she headed back into the room, silence falling over the foyer once more.

 

_Then_ the door swung open, Ayr slowly backing out so she could make sure the door was fully extended and nothing was on the floor, "Okay, you're clear - _Creators_ , Vivienne, how many layers does this thing _have_?"

 

"It needed to exude the right _look_ , my dear!" came Vivienne's voice from somewhere back in the room, "It will make our dear Inquisitor look as though she were _floating_!"

 

"If we can get her through the _doorways_!"

 

" _Please_ , Ayr, it's fine." Amaris' voice was soothing, full of amusement, and all three men _stared_ as she stepped out into the room, definitely _not_ dressed the same as everyone else.

 

The dress seemed a mix of Orlesian and Ferelden influence, with perhaps a hint of Vivienne's personal taste splashed in. Pale, shimmering blue that changed shades when shifted, full skirted and indeed making Amaris seem to float, with a dark corset accentuating the Inquisitors already slim waist.

 

It was low cut, with wide lace running along the edges and full sleeves that first narrowed at the elbow and then fell open and willowy past her wrists. Her hair had been curled and fell around her face in elegant ringlets, makeup just a _touch_ darker then her norm, and her smile was knowing.

 

Vivienne had done a very, _very_ good job.

 

"There will certainly be no questions of _who_ , and _what_ , you are." Josephine reasoned, fussing briefly with the elves' skirts as she passed her, "I believe we are ready. I will have the rest of our belonging's delivered to the Winter Palace as we make our way there."

 

"I fear I shall need help mounting my Elk." Amaris laughed, smiling widely as Solas stepped forwards and took her hand, pressing his lips to her knuckles as he bowed.

 

"My lady," he drawled, voice soft, "Shall we?"

 

"Of course, Vhenan."

 

Amaris allowed Solas to lead her from the Inn, one hand lifting as much of her skirts as possible.

 

Ayr and Cullen shared a look before following after, a slight tension settling over the group as they mounted.

 

_To Halamshiral!_

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Gaspard had been greeted, a rather obnoxious noblewoman's ring had been returned, and their introductions to Celene and her court had been made.

 

Amaris had done her best _not_ to bristle at the announcer's assumption that Solas was her serving man, and had been perfectly polite in greeting the Empress and her cousin.

 

Now there was work to do, though the burden was split; there were more reasons to Ayr _not_ being in a dress then just her dislike of them, after all.

 

Amaris made the rounds of the Ballroom, greeting nobles and responding to questions, well versed after Josephine's insistence she learn proper court etiquette.

 

She found Josephine speaking to her younger sister - and paused to join in her teasing - and passed secrets she'd overheard to Leliana, all the while keeping a keen eye on the Empress and the people around her. Vivienne fussed over her skirts a bit, and Cullen looked incredibly annoyed and uncomfortable where he stood, surrounded by tittering noblewomen.

 

Ayr would rescue him when she could, she knew; she was just a bit _preoccupied_ at the moment.

 

Even so, Amaris was drawn to the flow of _happy, amused, smug_ she felt through the bond, finding Solas leaning rather comfortably against a statue in the lower corridor.

 

"Vhenan..." she laughed, reaching out to cup his face as she drew closer, "Are you _drunk_?"

 

"Perhaps a little," he admitted easily, lifting a hand to press over her own, "I do not have _quite_ the look of the servants, so the nobles are weary... but the servants have been happy to fill my glass."

 

"No one's bothered you?" it was a worry she'd carried since that terrible announcement, and Amaris swore she'd deal with anyone who had slighted him personally.

 

"None that I care to worry about, Vhenan," Solas responded simply, a wave of _affection_ washing over her through the Bond, "It is _intriguing_ , to be amongst the players of the Great Game. Some wear their intent on their sleeves; others, behind their masks. Be cautious."

 

"Save me a dance for later?" Amaris requested with a grin, withdrawing her hand.

 

"Of course, Vhenan. A dance in the ballroom-" Solas caught her hand and pressed a kiss to the back, eyes glinting wickedly in the dim light, "And, perhaps, a more _private_ dance, later on."

 

" _Behave_ , Solas." Amaris chided softly, though she was sure the feelings of _want, heat, desire_ he was sending were reflected in her own emotions.

 

Smirking, Solas released her hand and shooed her back to the Game, hand brushing over the curve of her waist as she moved.

 

_Save the Empress first, **then** do naughty things with your mate._ Amaris lifted her chin and nodded to the nobles she passed, noting a trio of almost identical women approaching from the far corridor, _I hope Ayr is making progress._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_Makers breath, if I have to endure much more of this I will go insane. Where in Thedas is Ayr?_

 

Cullen stood rigidly against the wall of the ballroom, doing his best to stare straight ahead as the nobles around him tittered and crooned. Ayr had disappeared not long after the introductions had been made, and he was about ready to go find their rooms and disappear, 'strange Orlesian customs' be damned.

 

"Oh, Commander, that uniform fits you _splendidly_!"

 

"You must _train_ daily."

 

"Is it true you're still _available_ -?"

 

" _Excuse_ me, ladies, I'm afraid I have need of the Commander."

 

The welcome voice stopped the growl forming in Cullen's throat, relief washing through him as he turned towards it, "Ayr-"

 

There was a hand at his collar and one around his neck pulling him down as familiar lips pressed against his, silencing him and making the gathered nobles gasp in shock.

 

Startled as he was, Cullen could only stare at Ayr as she pulled back, a smug grin on her face as she ran her thumb over his cheek.

 

"I'm sorry I've been so busy," she crooned, quiet but loud enough that the nobles could hear her, "Save a dance for me, Commander?"

 

"Of course, my lady." he managed to murmur back, sure the heat was showing clearly in his eyes.

 

Ayr smiled and winked, gaze turning possessive and _warning_ as it passed over the nobles, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she _sauntered_ away to the nearest doorway.

 

Cullen barely noticed the nobles excusing themselves, eyes trained on the redhead as she headed out into the gardens and approached Dorian, talking in whispers for a moment.

 

Then, as the two approached a nearby lattice and began to _climb_ , Cullen realized where she had been, and just how smart his lover and her cousin were.

 

Amaris and Ayr were _tag teaming_ Halamshiral; Amaris, as Inquisitor, would be missed if she disappeared for two long, and so she played the public role, dressed extravagantly and working the nobles without them realizing.

 

Ayr was thus sneaking around in the background, searching for clues or enemies, able to do so as she was not the Courts main point of interest.

 

_Smart girls. Now let's hope we can solve this puzzle before more blood is shed._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"A moment, Lady Lavellan, if I may? Lady _Ayr_ , was it? So peculiar."

 

Ayr paused in reaching for the door handle, gaze following the voice to the rather striking woman behind her. Black hair and yellow eyes, deep purple gown and an almost _feral_ grin. Celene's Occult Advisor, perhaps?

 

"It is, yes," Ayr spoke cautiously, turning fully from the door, "May I ask what is peculiar?"

 

"It is peculiar, my dear, to meet another Elvhen mage named Ayr, once more so tangled in the fate of the world. Strange luck, indeed."

 

"You've met the Hero of Ferelden?" who else could she be referring to? Ayr was _not_ a common name, and to speak of 'fate'...

 

"I _travelled_ with the Hero of Ferelden for a time, in fact. You remind me uncannily of her. But I digress. You have been _most busy_ , this eve, both you and the Inquisitor."

 

"I feel as though you already know our reasoning's."

 

"Indeed I do, and so I offer you this; a word of caution, and a _key_ , though I know not where the key leads."

 

"I think I know." Ayr took the key, glancing at the woman again, "Are you... Morrigan, by any chance?"

 

"That I am, though I am unsure as to whether you knowing my name is a good omen or bad. Nonetheless, I must return to Celene's side. I wish you luck, Lady Ayr..."

 

_And I wish this night was over. Onwards, Ayr._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Though he could tell Amaris had only agreed to Lady Florienne's request for a dance to be polite, the tightness to her mouth and sudden look of determination told Cullen something _more_ had taken place on the dance floor.

 

He had no chance to question her, however; Amaris met Ayr as she came in the ballroom doors and whispered something urgently, the cousins disappearing back through the doors.

 

Cullen noted, absently, that the Grand Duchess had also disappeared, though he was soon distracted by Celene appearing at the head of the hall, looking out over her court.

 

Several minutes later Florienne reappeared with Gaspard, standing further towards the back of the hall and wearing a smug smile.

 

For a moment, he panicked, wondering where the cousins were, before a side door opened and the two elves burst through.

 

Amaris headed straight through the ballroom to the steps beneath Celene, arriving just a moment after Florienne; Ayr came to him, slightly wild-eyed but grinning, panting as thought she'd just been in a fight.

 

Which, judging by the specks of blood on her coat, maybe she had.

 

"Ayr, what happened-"

 

_"Shh_ , just watch."

 

Ayr's gaze was on Amaris, and Cullen's followed suit.

 

Amaris was circling the Grand Duchess, looking predatory despite her elegant poise, expression one that _exuded_ confidence and knowing.

 

Florienne stumbled, almost tripping to get away from the blonde, disbelief clear in her tones as her brother turned away and ascended the steps with ambassador Briala.

 

"Lock her away for later judgement." Amaris commanded the guards when they arrived, her compassionate nature showing through.

 

She gestured to Celene, and the group withdrew to the balcony while the Duchess was taken away, leaving the ballroom in a state of silent shock.

 

"Do I _want_ to know what all you found out?" Cullen mumbled, gaze returning to Ayr .

 

"Lots of things. There were Venatori, lots of dead servants. Gaspard murdered a Council messenger, Briala was mostly trying to reign in the situation, and Celene... tied one of Gaspards men to her bed." Ayr shuddered, a disgusted look crossing her face, "Did _not_ need to see that, ugh."

 

That fierce possessiveness rose up in him again, but Ayr continued, unaware, "And there was a Fade rift - turns out Florienne was the one working for Corypheus, hence the confrontation - which Amaris closed, and a mercenary captain, and Harlequins..." she sighed, "It has been a _very long_ night."

 

Cullen's grin softened, entire focus on her even as Celene, Briala and Amaris re-entered the ballroom, their words echoing as he took her hands in his, "Just a few more hours, Ayr. Then it'll be over."

 

"But we did good?" Ayr asked, returning the grip and looking up at him shyly.

 

Cullen chuckled, bending so their foreheads were pressed together, "You did good, Ayr."

 

She smiled, and they stood like that for a moment as Celene finished her speech, cheers ringing up around them as they simply basked in each other's presence.

 

Then the cheering stopped, the music _swelled_ , and Cullen pulled back with a half-grin, noting Ayr's confusion.

 

"Shouldn't the ball be _ending_?" she questioned, glancing at the dark sky.

 

"It's just _beginning_ , Ayr. This is how Orlesian's _work_ ; now that the politics are done with, they'll be going for another few hours. Don't worry," he soothed, seeing her panic, "We don't have to stay the _entire_ time. Just long enough that it doesn't seem like we're _snubbing_ them."

 

"Good, because I am exhausted and very sick of this formalwear."

 

"Speaking of..." Cullen backed up a step, bowing and offering his hand with a grin, "May I have this dance, my lady?"

 

Ayr laughed, eyebrows up even as she took his hand, "Of course. I didn't think you'd actually _want_ to, honestly."

 

"Only for you." he mumbled, turning to lead her to the dance floor.

 

And blocked by a sudden _wall_ of women, all grinning rather secretively.

 

"Sorry, Commander, we need to _borrow_ her briefly." Amaris apologized, reaching for her cousins hand and tugging her along after her.

 

"Shant be long, my dear, don't worry." Vivienne smirked, waving at him as they practically _dragged_ Ayr out of the ballroom, the redhead clearly _very_ confused.

 

"I was _wondering_ when they were going to do it."

 

Cullen nearly _jumped_ when Solas seemed to appear at his side, the elf smiling knowingly as he watched the dancers below them.

 

"Going to do _what_?" Cullen questioned cautiously.

 

Solas side-eyed him, "You didn't _really_ think Vivienne had given up on putting her in a dress, did you, Commander?"

 

Eyes widening briefly, Cullen shook his head with a chuckle, "Ayr is going to _kill_ her."

 

"Be that as it may, Amaris is rather determined, as well, and we both know they cannot deny each other _anything_. Vivienne will be happy, so long as Ayr is dressed to please for a _few_ hours."

 

Shaking his head again, Cullen turned to the elf, "Things are well?"

 

Knowing what he meant, Solas nodded, "Very, thank you. Yourself?"

 

Thinking of the Withdrawal, Cullen winced, "There was... a rough patch, but we've worked through it. Actually, I wanted to _ask_ you-"

 

" _Ah_ ," Solas cut him off, eyes on the staircase and grin widening, "And there they are."

 

Cullen followed his gaze and _froze_ , breath catching in surprise.

 

"Makers _breath_." he muttered, not hearing Solas' answering laugh.

 

Amaris and Ayr stood at the top of the staircase, the Inquisitor smiling brilliantly and keeping a tight grip on her cousins hand, making it clear that the redhead wanted to _bolt_.

 

And _Ayr_...

 

Ayr's dress was _identical_ to Amaris', except it was _red_ , making the freckles that spattered her chest and shoulders seem to stand out further against her skin. They'd left her hair alone, scarlet curls laying against one bare shoulder, and she was _blushing_ darker then her dress, eyes on the ground.

 

Entranced, Cullen moved forwards as Amaris began to lead Ayr down the steps, meeting them at the bottom step so he could take her free hand and kiss the back of it, gaze earnest as he smiled up at her.

 

"Dance with me?" he murmured gently, Ayr managing a nod.

 

Cullen gently led her onto the dance floor while Amaris moved to Solas, settling a hand on her hip while hers went to his shoulder.

 

"I'm going to kill them." Ayr mumbled grumpily as he began to lead them - a simple dance, one he could manage to follow properly - still staring at the ground.

 

"No need for violence, Ayr."

 

"I look ridiculous."

 

"You look _beautiful_ , Ayr," Cullen grinned when her head snapped up, green eyes surprised, "You look beautiful no matter _what_ you're wearing."

 

She stared at him for a moment before blushing again, whispering what sounded like 'flatterer' as a tiny smile managed to sneak onto her lips.

 

They spent perhaps another hour at the ball, dancing and talking. They swapped partners once - Cullen dancing with Amaris, Solas with Ayr - and Dorian stole Ayr briefly, leading her through a rather _rambunctious_ number.

 

Amaris and Ayr even spun around a few times together, the redhead more comfortable as time wore on.

 

_Finally_ , Josephine declared they could retire to their rooms if they so wished, most of the party groaning with relief.

 

A servant showed them to their rooms - the cousins would be sharing, and Solas had been placed with Cullen - and Cullen escorted Ayr to her door, stealing a quick kiss with a murmur of _goodnight_ passed between them.

 

And while, honestly, Cullen would have rather had _Ayr_ sharing his room, he kept the thought to himself.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"Ayr, would you mind switching with Solas for the night?"

 

"Huh?" Ayr had just managed to plop down on the edge of their allotted bed - giant skirts and all - and looked up at her cousin, blinking in surprise, "You mean...?

 

"It's been a long night," Amaris answered, "And I don't know about you and Cullen, but I sleep better curled in Solas' arms. Would you mind?"

 

"Won't it seem kind of scandalous if we're seen switching?"

 

"That's why you take a _secret_ route."

 

"You're not serious, you can't have found a hidden-" knocking at the back wall of the room made her pause, eyebrows lifting, "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

 

"Solas said a servant told him about it." Amaris crossed to where the knocking had come from and popped open a hidden door, revealing the Elven male, "Is that okay, Ayr?"

 

"Is... Cullen okay with it?" his consent was just as important, after all.

 

"Perfectly. I dare say he'll prefer you as a bed partner then me." Solas chuckled good naturedly, stepping into the room and pressing an affectionate kiss to Amaris' cheek.

 

"Alright, I'll switch, lemme just grab something to sleep in..."

 

Ayr manoeuvred as well as she could in the layers of the dress, trying to be quick; she had a _very strong_ hunch that the two would be jumping each other the second she was gone.

 

"So... just a straight path, I hope?" Ayr approached the hidden doorway wearily, glad, at least, that there was a torch lit along the inner wall.

 

"Yes, go straight down and it's the first door you'll see on your right. Knock when you reach it so Cullen can let you into the room; he closed it behind me as a precaution."

 

"Gotcha," Ayr stepped into the corridor, lifting her skirts with one hand and keeping her sleep clothes tucked in the other, "See you two lovebirds in the morning, then."

 

"Goodnight, Ayr." Amaris laughed.

 

The redhead rolled her eyes and started along the path, hearing the _click_ of the wall sliding shut behind her. It wasn't long to the next door, as Solas had said, and she dropped her skirts in order to rap her knuckles against it twice, flinching when it was pulled suddenly open.

 

"That was quick," Cullen let his hand drop, gaze lifting from the hidden latch-work on the door, "Anyways, what I wanted to ask-"

 

Their eyes met and Cullen _froze_ , staring in surprise as his hands dropped to his sides.

 

Seeing his reaction, Ayr cursed silently, lifting her eyebrows at him, "So... I'm going to say they _didn't_ tell you Solas and I were switching?"

 

"They did not." Cullen agreed, eyes darkening a touch as he stepped back to let her in the room, "Though I won't lie, I don't _mind_ the switch."

 

"Good, because I am not going _anywhere near_ that room now." Ayr tried to sound nonchalant, feeling the heat of his gaze on her as she approached the changing screen, "They were _quite_ ready to go at it, whether I left or not."

 

Cullen's chuckle was husky as the wall _clicked_ back into place, his footsteps indicating he'd moved closer, "And Amaris seemed so _innocent_ when I first met her."

 

"I'm beginning to think the innocent thing was an act, honestly," Ayr mumbled, stepping behind the screen and feeling relieved once she was hidden, wondering what in Thedas was wrong with her, "Just give me a minute to get out of this monstrosity."

 

"Take your time."

 

Ayr reached behind herself to find the knot keeping the corset done up, scowling at the ridiculous _shyness_ that seemed to be hitting her every time they were alone as she fumbled at the laces.

 

You would think that after being even slightly intimate, she'd be more _comfortable_ around him, not _more on edge_! It was, likely, because of the new-found confidence he seemed to have with her; she would get used to it and things would be fine, no more of this blushing, stuttering mess!

 

Unfortunately, the universe seemed to hate her at that moment; no matter how much she tried to unlace the corset, it wasn't budging. If anything, it seemed _tighter_.

 

"Cullen..." her voice was a whine, annoyed and frustrated and _embarrassed,_ " _Help_."

 

"What's wrong?" she heard the bed squeak as he stood, heard his footsteps drawing closer, the heat of him when he stood at the edge of the changing screen.

 

"I can't get it undone," she explained, motioning to the laces, "Could you...?"

 

Ayr saw the heat rise in his eyes as he grasped her meaning, swallowing thickly as she whipped her head around to stare straight ahead, nearly shivering at his mumbled "Of course, my lady."

 

She felt his hands begin to tug at the laces keeping her covered, deftly loosening and undoing them, the corset gaping more and more as he worked.

 

Ayr remembered to late that she wasn't wearing a breast band beneath the dress as the last lace was pulled free and Cullen pushed the fabric carefully from her shoulders, the garment falling into a heap at her feet and leaving her bare besides her smalls.

 

She couldn't move - couldn't _breathe_ \- as he continued to stand behind her, too terrified to even turn and look at him.

 

Then Cullen shifted, stepping closer to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her back against his chest, nuzzling his face into her hair.

 

Ayr sagged for a moment, relaxing against him... until his hand shifted up to cup her breast, resting gently over sensitive flesh.

 

She stiffened immediately, Cullen pausing behind her.

 

"Not okay?" he questioned quietly, the worry and want in his voice making her heart jump.

 

"It's... not that..." she managed to whimper, brain still trying to process of the feel of his hand there.

 

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to, Ayr."

 

"I want to." Ayr admitted, pressing on before she could lose the nerve, "Just not... _here_."

 

"Here?"

 

"Halamshiral." Cullen let his hand drop back to her waist, and Ayr took the opportunity to turn around and hug him tightly, _shuddering_ at the sensation of her naked breasts pressing against his bare chest - _Focus Ayr_.

 

"All I've heard, all night, from the nobles and the servants and the soldiers, is lies. Whispers, rumors, murmurs meant to twist another's perception. I don't want our first time to be in a place based entirely on _deceit_ , Cullen. I hope... that's okay...?"

 

"I understand, Vhenan, and I agree," Cullen pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, the word making her heart thump as it did every time, before giving her a pointed, heated look, "Now please put some clothing on before I give in to my urge to ravish you."

 

"As you wish, Commander." Ayr purred happily back, thrilled that he was of the same mind.

 

Cullen pulled away fully - letting his eyes linger momentarily on her chest, making her flush pink - and returned to the bed, leaving Ayr to scramble for the nightshirt she'd grabbed and yank it on in a hurry.

 

Ayr blew out the wall sconce before climbing into bed, giving a happy hum when Cullen immediately pulled her against his chest, content and warm in his embrace.

 

"We leave in the morning," he rumbled into her hair, "Let's get some sleep."

 

"Mhm. G'night, Cullen."

 

"Good night, Ayr."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, NOT my fave part of the game. STILL HOPE I DID GOOD?
> 
> And come on, we all knew Vivienne wasn't going to keep her word! She just... let Ayr think she was safe. Until the proper time.
> 
> ....ayup.
> 
> CHRISTMAS ONESHOT WILL LIKELY HAPPEN THIS WEEKEND WE'LL SEE.
> 
> Kudos and comments (especially comments!) make my day! <3


	11. A Little Bit of Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's connection to Alistair and the Hero of Ferelden are revealed... as is Ayr's connection to the Warden.
> 
> Cullen steals Ayr away for some important 'business'.
> 
> The Rutherford family makes a surprise appearance, a proper celebration is held for the Inquisitor and her Bonded.
> 
> ... and the Commander figures out what Ayr's been whispering to him all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADA THIS CHAPTER TOOK WAY TO LONG TO WRITE /flops
> 
> Probably because there's SMUT HURRAY and more in-depth stuff about feelings, which seems to TAKE LONGER TO WRITE?
> 
> Regardless, friends, this story is turning out MUCH LONGER then I anticipated. And, once more, the muses have their way; Adamant was supposed to happen this chapter.
> 
> Adamant will be NEXT CHAPTER, oops.
> 
> Regardless, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! Please, as always, enjoy the chapter! <3
> 
> UPDATE: I have Taming the Dread Wolf complete~ 800 HITS AND I'LL POST IT :3

"While I understand the importance of the matter, Revered Mother," Amaris was using her 'Polite Inquisitor Voice', which Ayr knew meant she was annoyed and wanted to end the conversation quickly, "That decision is up to Cassandra and Leliana, not me."

 

" _After_ the current issues are taken care of," Josephine interrupted the woman before she could speak again, gaze stern, "I am afraid the Inquisitor has several pressing matters to attend to, and we must be on our way."

 

The Mother only frowned, nodded respectfully, and turned to leave, striding silently away.

 

Amaris let the wince she'd been holding back come through, rubbing tiredly at her temples, " _Please_ tell me these 'pressing matters' have to do with the Grey Wardens?"

 

"Indeed, Inquisitor. Alistair and Hawke returned perhaps half an hour ago."

 

Though they had woken and set out from Halamshiral fairly early the day after the Masquerade, _everyone_ had been exhausted, and the ride had taken longer because of it.

 

Most had simply retired to their own chambers to sleep and recover; Amaris had seen to anything urgent before retreating with Solas, while Ayr had passed out in Cullen's bed while the Commander went over new reports, joining her as the sun began to set.

 

Now, the _next_ morning, it seemed things were once more progressing forwards, whether they wanted them to or not.

 

Ayr had spent the morning with Amaris, since Cullen needed to go over everything that had come in from the soldiers during their time at the winter palace.

 

They'd been snagged by the Revered Mother on their way from the Quartermaster to the main Keep, talk of Divines and Cassandra and Leliana on her lips.

 

Thank the Creators for Josephine, though her expression foretold grave news.

 

"They have confirmed that the Grey Wardens have retreated to Adamant, and that they seem to be preparing their demon forces there. We now have the support of Orlais, and should prepare a plan of attack as soon as possible."

 

"Alright. Let's get things figured out before anything _else_ happens." Amaris forced herself to sink into her Inquisitors-mask, flashing a quick look at her cousin, "Ayr, could you...?"

 

"I'll grab Cullen. Give me ten minutes."

 

Amaris nodded and headed up the main stairs with Josephine, talking quietly of the preparations ahead.

 

Ayr turned and jogged back to the stairs to the battlements, taking them two at a time and humming unconsciously under her breath as she mounted the top.

 

She was as tired as everyone else, yes, but she was also... happy. Things felt just a bit more _real_ , more permanent, between she and Cullen since the events at Halamshiral. She couldn't explain it, wouldn't bother to try; they just did.

 

Ayr moved swiftly over the battlements, nodding to passing soldiers and pushing Cullen's door open without hesitation, stepping into the familiar space.

 

Cullen looked up immediately, whatever report he'd been examining forgotten as he grinned, " _There_ you are."

 

Ayr's eyebrows lifted even as she sauntered closer, loving the way his eyes followed her movements, "Were you _waiting_ for me?"

 

"I was." the Commander's voice was full of confidence, a distinct change since their first days together, "We have some dealings in Ferelden; I was hoping you might accompany me on a short _expedition_."

 

"Just the two of us?"

 

"Just the two of us." Cullen affirmed, scar pulling tight as his grin widened, "I would rather explain there, if you're interested in joining me."

 

"Do you even need to _ask_?" Ayr returned the smile and stepped around the desk so they were chest-to-chest, not touching but simply _watching_ each other, "I'd love to go, though I'm afraid your presence is currently required in the war room, _Commander_."

 

"Isn't it always?" he chuckled quietly, hands lifting to rub up and down her arms, sending warm tingles shooting through her skin, "What's happened this time?"

 

"Hawke and Alistair have returned," Ayr murmured, leaning gently against him and tilting her head back in a not-so-subtle invitation, "The Wardens _are_ at Adamant, and the others want to start on the invasion plans."

 

"Then I suppose we _must_ attend the meeting first." Cullen sighed roughly, though he was still grinning as he bent at her beckoning, lips pressing gently to hers, deepening the kiss after a moment's hesitation.

 

Then he pulled away rather suddenly, a look of surprise on his face as he stared at her, "Wait, Alistair? _That_ Alistair?"

 

Though she was somewhat put-out by the abrupt end to the kiss, Ayr only nodded and wrapped her arms around his torso to stay close, "If you mean the one who helped end the last Blight, then yes. _That_ Alistair." she narrowed her eyes up at him curiously, "D'you _know_ him?"

 

"We were in training for the Templars together, before I was assigned to the Circle and he was recruited to the Grey Wardens. Makers _breath_ , I haven't seen him in _years_."

 

Cullen paused, lifting an arm to rub circles on her back, "Is... the Hero of Ferelden with him...?"

 

"No, Amaris said she's away on another mission, that she's trying to find a way to end the Calling or something." Ayr stared up at him, _insanely_ curious now, "Did you know _her_ , Cullen?"

 

"I did. We were friends, of a sort; as much as a mage and a Templar _can_ be friends, in a Circle Tower." Cullen shook his head with a chuckle, still massaging her back in comforting circles, "I was the Templar assigned to her Harrowing, in fact - I was 18, and _terrified_. Thankfully, she was a strong mage; she made it through."

 

"I will admit... I was rather _infatuated_ with her, for a time. She was flirty and friendly, a kind face in a Tower of strangers. Not terrible to look at, either."

 

Ayr huffed a little, a tiny flare of jealously flaming in her chest before she snuffed it forcefully, "Well, I guess I have her to thank for your interest in _elves_ , then."

 

The Commander chuckled again, expression turning wry, "I said... rather unkind things to her, the last time we met. It was just after..." he trailed off, and Ayr knew _exactly_ what time period he was referring to, squeezing him gently to pull him from the memories, "Anyways, she found her match in Alistair, as I have found mine in you. I won't lie, though, Ayr; the first time I heard your name, I was _shocked_. Two Elven mages named Ayr; what were the chances? Is it a common name?"

 

"Funny story..." Ayr drawled, pulling back enough to draw circles on his armor with her nail, grinning at him from beneath her lashes, "I'm actually _named_ after her; Ayr is _not_ a common name, at all."

 

Cullen stared at her, eyebrows lifted, and Ayr shrugged.

 

"Keeper Deshanna told me the story, when I got older. Ayr Surana - the Hero - was originally Dalish, and was from one of our sister Clans. She was taken to the Circle _incredibly_ young - you know Dalish Clans only keep one or two mages, to avoid drawing attention. Surana showed such potential at such a young age her Keeper thought she was _safer_ in the Circle, considering their close proximity to it."

 

"Keeper Deshanna said that my mother named me, just after I was born and before she passed. 'Name her Ayr', she said, 'And pray she may be as powerful as Surana, that she will not fall as I have'." Ayr shrugged again, "So, tada, they named me Ayr. I hope it doesn't bother you, or remind you _too much_ of _her_."

 

"I'll admit, I saw similarities, in the beginning," Cullen shifted the hand that had been rubbing her back lower, pressing her close against his chest, "You were both determined, blunt and _stubborn_ , passionate and powerful."

 

His other hand was on her chin then, tilting her head up as he bent down, breath ghosting over her lips as he watched her affectionately. "My feelings for you run much deeper than any I ever had for her, Ayr, you have my word on that. I have... _never_ felt like this before."

 

"Me neither." Ayr went on her tiptoes to cross the brief distance, mumbling against his lips, "Ar lath ma, Cullen."

 

"I _still_ need to figure out what that means." Cullen mumbled back, grip on her tightening, "You can't just _tell_ me?"

 

"Nooo..." Ayr reluctantly pulled away, knowing they would _never_ get to the meeting and get on with their outing if they kept at it, "You have to figure it out. _Later_. We have a meeting to get to, if you still wanted to _sweep_ me away afterwards."

 

"I suppose you're right." Cullen sighed, bending to nuzzle the left side of her neck, arms still tight around her, "Just... one more moment."

 

Ayr was more than happy to remain there... until Cullen shifted and hit a certain spot, lips brushing unintentionally over a rather _sensitive_ area behind her ear.

 

Ayr _mewled_ , giving an involuntary hip-jerk before going stiff, face flushing red at her reaction.

 

Cullen had frozen but not pulled away, breath warm on her skin when he spoke, "Ayr?"

 

"S-sorry, didn't realize I was _sensitive_ back th- _ngh_." Ayr _slumped_ when he repeated the touch, lips pressing more _firmly_ this time as she sunk against him, pleasure shooting though her, " _Cullen-_ "

 

The Commander shifted so he could brush firmer kisses over the spot, grip on her tightening as she went practically boneless in his arms.

 

Then he _bit_ her there - not hard, more a scrape of his teeth - and Ayr cried out, the shock shooting _straight_ to her already aching core, " _Stop_!"

 

Cullen froze immediately, concern clear in his voice, "Did I hurt you?"

 

"Complete... _opposite_." Ayr was panting, red faced, and the urge to grind against him and seek relief was both arousing and _embarrassing_ , "We have... things to _do-_ "

 

 _Like each other_. her libido purred before she shoved it roughly away.

 

"I need to _not_ be a boneless puddle on the floor, Commander," she managed to finish, stroking his chin tenderly, "Not right now."

 

"Very well, Vhenan," Cullen pulled away, but Ayr caught the smirk he wore and _shivered_ , "I will have to remember this spot for _later_."

 

_Oh, please do._

 

Stepping out of his grip, Ayr smacked him lightly on the chest and tried to scowl at his responding chuckle, failing miserably as her face returned to a normal colour and her body continued to hum from his attentions.

 

She unconsciously lifted her hand to prod the touchy spot behind her ear, noting that while, yes, it still seemed _tender_ , she didn't get any other reactions.

 

But considering the shocks of pleasure that had nearly had her boneless on the ground, _Cullen's_ touch there was all she needed to come undone.

 

 _And he knows it_.

 

His gaze, purposely or not, was _predatory_ as she forced herself to drop her hand and approach the door to the Rotunda, stepping out into the cold air and thanking Mythal for the sweet _relief_ the breeze gave her.

 

Relief that was swept immediately away by the heat of his golden gaze as he followed her, hand brushing over the curve of her waist before claiming her own, pulling her gently out onto the path and towards the main Keep.

 

What in Thedas had happened to the shy, unsure Commander who'd hesitated to even _touch_ her when they'd first begun this circling?

 

 _He knows what he does to you,_ her libido whispered, hiding but not suppressed, _and he's using it to his advantage_.

 

_Focus. War meeting. Grey Wardens. Demons. Private outing. Alone together. **Demons, dammit**!_

Ayr jolted in surprise when Cullen halted suddenly, gaze snapping to the doors of the War Room and staring.

 

They had crossed through the Rotunda and the Main Hall without her even noticing, and the Commander gave her a very _knowing_ look before he pushed the door open and pulled her in after him.

 

Leliana, Josephine and Amaris were already there, with Hawke near the Inquisitors side.

 

Cullen gaze Ayr's hand another quick squeeze before releasing her and taking his place with the other advisors, heated gaze still focused on her as she stepped up beside her cousin.

 

"Hawke, I don't think you've met my cousin, Ayr. Ayr, this is Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall." Amaris introduced, Ayr nodding in greeting.

 

Hawke grimaced at the title, lips tugging into a weary smirk, "I don't often use that title, anymore, but it's nice to meet another ally. I hope you're ready for the battle ahead."

 

"I am. I'll do whatever it takes to help." Ayr affirmed, sharing a look with Amaris.

 

"Before we begin with the War talks..." Josephine spoke up, looking both excited and nervous, "I had... hoped to propose a rather more _lighthearted_ event, during the days _before_ the invasion."

 

"Such as...?"

 

"We said before that we wanted to _celebrate_ your Bonding, Inquisitor," Leliana smiled, a secret look passing between she and Josephine, "We want to fulfil that promise, and have a small reception, for the two of you. Give you something _happy_ in the midst of all the stress."

 

"Are you sure?" Amaris looked shocked, though Ayr also detected a note of pleasure to her cousins expression, "It wouldn't be too much hassle?"

 

"If anything, the celebration would likely give the troops another boost of morale!"

 

"I agree," Cullen grinned a bit lopsidedly, nodding to the blonde elf, "Your happiness gives _them_ happiness, Inquisitor. They would be honored, to be able to attend such an event in your honor."

 

"If you're sure. Let me just..." Amaris drifted off, her lips pursing for a moment and eyes going distant, before she came back to herself with a _brilliant_ smile, looking about ready to cry, "We are _honored_ , and would _love_ to have you throw a celebration for us. When do you think...?"

 

"Preparations for Adamant will take at least five days, since we'll need to wait on the Siege weapons from Orlais. Three days from now would very likely work best; it will give us time to prepare, and space between the celebration and the invasion."

 

"Plus, I'm sure Vivienne will want to have you dressed _splendidly_ , Inquisitor." Josephine was making notes as she spoke, tone much brighter than usual, "I will work on the refreshments, and see to a guest list once we have concluded the more _serious_ discussions."

 

"Three days will work well; I will be away for the night, myself, as will Ayr," Cullen interrupted calmly, expression neutral as _everyone's_ eyes darted to him, "There is a matter in Ferelden I need to attend to, and Ayr agreed to accompany me."

 

"When will you be returning, Commander?"

 

"Tomorrow, as the matter should take no longer then a night; we will send a Crow if anything delays us."

 

"Of course, Commander," Amaris' smile was polite, but she _pinched_ Ayr's hand knowingly beneath the cover of the War Table before continuing, "You deserve the break, away from Skyhold. Let me know if there's anything you need."

 

"Thank you, Inquisitor, but it will be a short excursion. We will stay the night at Caer Bronach, and return in the morn."

 

"Very well, Commander. Now..." Amaris folded her arms behind her back and gave the group an amused smirk, "Let us finish our Invasion tactics so that we may move on to more _pleasant_ discussions, shall we?"

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The ride from Skyhold was mostly silent, Cullen determined to keep their destination a surprise and Ayr _trying_ not to prod him _to_ much about it.

 

They had parted ways after the War meeting, Cullen giving her distinct instructions; pack lightly, only for a night. Clothes for the next day, perhaps something to sleep in, any potions she tended to carry and her staff as a precaution.

 

Ayr was quick to do as directed; heading straight for the stables once she was ready, as Cullen had requested.

 

The Commander was waiting with both his own Ferelden Charger and her red Hart at his sides, reins held easily in one hand as her usually testy mount nuzzled him affectionately, Cullen grinning and patting the beast on the snout.

 

"It _still_ amazes me that she _likes_ you, Cullen," Ayr shook her head and laughed, taking the reins from him while leaning up for a quick kiss, "Stubborn beast doesn't like _anyone_."

 

"I guess she just has good taste." Cullen mumbled, leaning into the touch and smirking when she pulled away, turning to mount his own Charger, "We have a bit of a ride ahead of us, but we should make it by dusk. Hopefully, the roads are still clear, and we won't run into any issues."

 

"You _still_ won't tell me where we're going?" Ayr had pouted as she settled atop her Hart, steering her easily towards the main gates.

 

"No. You'll have to wait and see, Ayr."

 

Now, as dusk fell around them and they entered unfamiliar landscapes, Ayr was even _more_ confused.

 

She had travelled quite a bit with Amaris, and then with Dorian and the others, but this place wasn't familiar at all. It was to _quiet_ and open to be the Hinterlands, not boggy enough to be the Fallow Mire, _definitely_ not the Storm Coast, so where...?

 

Cullen halted after they had trotted down a well-worn path for perhaps half an hour, dismounting and leading his Charger over to a sturdy Oak to tie him up.

 

Ayr followed suit, tying her Hart next to the horse and patting her fondly on the neck, glad to see there was plenty of grazing fodder for the beasts.

 

"Ayr." Cullen drew her attention, turning and beckoning for her to follow him.

 

They walked for a few minutes before coming upon what seemed to be a river, a little half-dock built into the shore. It was calm, peaceful, and she could hear crickets above the wind, the gentle crunch of the grass beneath her feet.

 

"Where _are_ we?" she asked as he led her onto the wooden dock, curiosity getting the better of her.

 

Cullen's answering grin was soft, "Crestwood."

 

"Crestwood?" certain things clicked into place - such as the name 'Caer Bronach', which had seemed only vaguely familiar before - as she followed him, glancing around with wide eyes, "This is where Amaris came with Hawke, wasn't it? I'd thought the place overrun with undead?"

 

"It was, before Amaris came through. She cleared it out, returned it to what it once was."

 

"Amaris has that effect on things," Ayr agreed, stepping closer to the edge of the dock and glancing down at the calm water, "But why are we here?"

 

"I wanted to take you away from the hustle of Skyhold, if only briefly. Besides, I grew up not far from here," Cullen leaned back against the wooden support post rising from the dock, hands clasping and legs crossing at the ankles, "This place was always _quiet_..."

 

"Did you come here often?" Ayr kept her words soft, not wanting to disturb the peace that seemed to surround them but wanting, always, to know more about him.

 

"I loved my siblings, but they were very _loud_ ," Cullen's gaze was soft but amused when he glanced at her, scar pulling tight, "I would come here to clear my head. Of course, they always found me _eventually_ , as is the way of siblings."

 

"You were happy here." she realized, indulging herself in the sight of this calm, _relaxed_ Cullen, one she didn't get to see very often.

 

"I was. I still _am_."

 

"So... was there _actually_ something you needed to check out, or were you just looking to steal me away for a night?" Ayr couldn't help the teasing note to her voice, taking a step closer and smiling softly.

 

"Mostly, I just wanted to steal you away," Cullen admitted, grin turning cheeky, "I wanted to show you this place, now that it's been restored. It's important to me, and I wanted to share that with you."

 

_Tell me everything. Show me everything. I want to know everything about you._

 

Ayr cleared her throat, ignoring the sappy thoughts and saying instead "I'm glad. I like learning about you, Cullen."

 

Cullen's expression turned inward for a moment, the Commander pushing away from the post to stand straight, gaze turning out over the river as he dug in his pocket.

 

"The last time I was here was before I left for Templar training. My brother gave me this." he lifted his hand, a small, silver Andrastian coin laying on his palm, "It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck." Cullen's grin widened, gaze lifting to hers, "Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our _faith_ should see us through."

 

"You broke the rules? I'm _shocked_ , Commander," Ayr grinned, "A little luck can't hurt, though."

 

"I suppose not. I should have died during the Blight... or in Kirkwall, or at Haven, take your pick! And yet I made it back here."

 

Ayr remained silent as he turned fully towards her, still grinning despite how her heart had clenched at the thought of him gone, the utter despair even the _possibility_ made her feel.

 

"Humor me." Ayr snapped from her daze when Cullen took her hand and placed the coin in her palm, gently curling her fingers over it, "I can't stop you from fighting at Amaris' side, facing trials with her, nor would I try. This... can't hurt."

 

"Cullen..." Ayr swallowed, startled by the intensity of his gaze, before managing a smile and a nod, gripping the little coin tightly, "I'll keep it safe. Promise."

 

"Good." he was reaching for her then, pulling her into his arms as his gaze softened and his voice lowered to a murmur, "I know it's foolish, but... I'm glad."

 

 _It's not foolish_. she wanted to tell him, but Cullen had already crossed the distance and was kissing her, lips gentle and tender against hers, coaxing her mouth open so he could slide his tongue in and tangle it with hers.

 

Ayr was putty in his hands, arms looping around his neck to keep him close as she leaned into him, more than happy to let him control the kiss.

 

To soon Cullen pulled away, smirking at her dazed look and grasping her hand to pull her back towards their Mounts, "Come on. We should get to Caer Bronach before _full_ darkness hits."

 

Ayr nodded and  clutched her other hand - the one holding his coin - against his chest, wondering if perhaps Dagna or Harritt could fashion a holder of sorts for it.

 

They untied the beasts and mounted up, riding further into Crestwood and along quiet paths that Cullen navigated easily.

 

The gates of the Stronghold lifted as they approached, riding their mounts straight into the courtyard and arriving in the midst of chatter and trade.

 

"Commander Cullen, Lady Lavellan. Welcome to Caer Bronach." an elf wearing the mantle of one of Leliana's Agents approached as they dismounted, handing their mounts off to two stable hands, "I'm Charter. Sister Leliana sent word you would be coming; I had the Inquisitors quarters within the Keep prepared, at her request."

 

"Thank you, Charter, we appreciate it." Cullen nodded to the Agent, both following when she turned to lead them further into the Hold, "We don't expect much and won't be a hindrance while we're here."

 

"Not to worry, Commander, we're only too happy to have you; Crestwood is doing _much_ better since the Inquisitor was here, I'm sure you can tell. I already had some food and Ale brought up to the room, should you be interested."

 

"Thank you again, Charter."

 

Charter led them into a more secluded hall of the Hold and to a locked door in the corner, passing the key to Cullen with a nod, "Just return the key to me before you're off, Commander; I keep it private for the Inquisitor and her guests."

 

Cullen nodded, and the elf excused herself as he unlocked the door, pushing it open and motioning for Ayr to enter first.

 

It was nothing fancy, but Ayr rather liked it. A long, rectangular room with a plush couch pushed against the back wall, wide and covered with pillows and blankets - the rooms bed, it seemed. Rugs had been thrown down over the stone floors, a small table sat at the centre with chairs and the aforementioned food and ale, and several windows on the right side gave a view out over the landscape.

 

Rather homey, honestly.

 

"Shall we eat, then?" Cullen broke the silence that had fallen, locking the door behind him lest any soldiers come snooping.

 

Ayr nodded, setting her bag down by the couch and crossing to sit at the table, reaching for what looked like a roast Ram leg as Cullen sat down opposite her.

 

The meal was spent mostly in silence, as most of their day had been, but it was comfortable, soothing; they didn't _need_ to be constantly talking, more than content in each other's presence.

 

It was late when they had finished, and despite being in a further corner of the Keep they could still hear the vague voices of the soldiers and agents that inhabited the Hold, background noise in the otherwise calm area.

 

"We should sleep, we have a long ride back tomorrow."

 

Ayr nodded in agreement, moving to her pack as Cullen crossed back to where he'd left his near the door, scrambling out of her clothes and hastily tugging on the long nightshirt she'd brought to wear, crawling onto the makeshift bed and under the covers.

 

She wasn't sure _why_ she was so worried about him seeing her get changed - he'd _seen_ her naked breasts, for Mythal's sake - but the passionate touches that morning and the heated looks he'd been giving her all day told her the Commander was much closer to losing his normal control than usual.

 

The room fell into partial darkness as the last wall sconce was blown out, only the light from the moon outside falling over them.

 

Ayr heard Cullen approach and felt him lift the covers to climb in behind her, sighing happily as he looped an arm around her waist to pull her back against his chest, relaxing into the warmth he gave off and right on the cusp of drifting off...

 

...until his lips pressed firmly to _that spot_ behind her ear and his hand suddenly cupped her through her smalls, crying out at the shock of pleasure that hit her and hips _jerking_ into his touch, "Cullen-!"

 

"I've been thinking about this all day, Ayr," his voice was husky, words spoken against her skin and every brush of his lips sending _more_ sparks shooting down her spine, "Touching you, _pleasing_ you... we aren't at Halamshiral anymore, Ayr."

 

All Ayr could do was _whine_ when he kissed the spot again, his hand pushing aside her smalls and a groan sounding behind her ear when he found her wet and ready, fingers tracing along her slit and making her hips buck needily.

 

Flushing red in embarrassment - Creators, he'd barely touched her and she was _soaked_ and wanting, desperate for his touch - Ayr shut her eyes and turned her head into the pillow, biting her lip.

 

"Ayr? Vhenan, why so embarrassed?" he was still touching her - still tracing her seam with gentle, languid strokes - but his words were tinged with worry, "Talk to me."

 

"I... just..." Ayr mewled and arched into his hand when he pressed harder, trying to properly express her worries, "I... you barely _touch_ me and I'm... "

 

"You think you're the only one, Vhenan?" Cullen gripped her hip with his free hand and yanked her back so she was flush against him, Ayr gasping in surprise at the feel of his cock against her ass, hard and rigid.

 

"You _look at me_ sometimes and all I want to do is pin you to a wall and _take_ you." Cullen's voice was a growl in her ear, hips rolling against her and lips again pressing to that damned spot, "I struggle with the urge to claim you every damn _day_."

 

Wiggling her hips against him and moaning when he finally - _finally_ \- slipped a finger between her folds, Ayr whimpered, "Why don't you?"

 

"I want to, Maker's _breath_ I want to." Cullen added a second finger and began to pump, at the same time rocking his hips against her, starting a rhythm, "It's never been the right _timing_..."

 

" _Cullen_..." Ayr did her best to match his movements - rocking between the thrusts of his fingers and the rolls of his hips - hands clenched tight in the blankets.

 

" _Believe_ me, Vhenan; when you're ready, and I'm ready, I _will_ take you," Cullen punctuated his words with a sharp buck of his hips, hissing as Ayr cried out, "Would you _like_ that, firecracker?"

 

"Yes!" Ayr whined, shuddering as he added a _third_ finger and began pumping in earnest, the coil in her belly tightening almost _painfully_ as she tried to keep up with the dual assault of his fingers inside her and his cock against her ass, " _Yes_ , Cullen, _please_ , I _want-_ "

 

"Not tonight." Cullen grunted, speeding his strokes and his thrusts, grip on her hip nearly bruising as he raced them both to completion, "Not in a strange Keep with soldiers all around. I will take you at Skyhold, in _my_ bed. _Our_ bed." Cullen shifted to nuzzle behind her ear, words a commanding growl against the sensitive skin, "You sleep with _me_ from now on, Ayr; we're moving your things when we get back. I can't _stand_ not having you in my arms at night."

 

"Creators, _yes_ ," Ayr whimpered back, pleasure winding higher at the throaty command - she'd been meaning to _ask_ him that, but she'd keep getting sidetracked - and a near _wail_ escaping as she felt the tension nearly _breaking_ , "Cullen-!"

 

"Good girl." he purred, panting as he neared his end, "Come for me, _Vhenan_."

 

Cullen bit down on the skin - _harder_ than the last time, almost drawing blood - and Ayr through her head back and _screamed_ , thrashing as she shattered in his arms.

 

The Commander hissed and pulled her sharply against him, jerking once more before his own release washed over him, burying his face in her neck and pressing frantic, needy kisses there.

 

Silence once more fell over the room, the rambunctious noises of the Hold's soldiers a wafting din in the distance, and slowly their panting returned to normal, even breathing.

 

"You are going to _break_ me," Ayr whined once she'd caught her breath, no true complaint in her voice as she settled back against him, eyes closing drowsily, "Where did all this new _confidence_ come from, Commander?"

 

"You have only yourself to blame, Ayr," Cullen chuckled against her neck, pressing a kiss to the skin - avoiding the sensitive patch for now - and pulling her snugly against him, hand withdrawing from her body to wipe off on a corner of the blankets, "You're good for my confidence."

 

"Well... good. S'long as it's just for me."

 

"Just for you." Cullen agreed, sleep claiming them both as the sounds of the Hold washed over them.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The ride back to Skyhold the next morning was filled with talk of how exactly they were going to move Ayr's things into Cullen's loft _without_ the entire Keep knowing about it.

 

"Everyone knows we're together, Cullen," Ayr had reasoned, shrugging as she steered her Hart around a fallen stump, "It's not a big deal, is it?"

 

"I would just rather our personal business _stay_ personal." Cullen had grumbled, in the end agreeing that it really didn't make much difference. "You're sure Amaris won't mind?"

 

"Are you kidding? She'll be _thrilled_. Remember at Halamshiral? Keeping those two apart is almost _hazardous_ these days."

 

"Is it because of the Bond?"

 

Ayr had _hmmed_ a little at that, lips twisting, "I'm not sure, honestly. Their Bonding was done rather... unconventionally, and they're both _really_ powerful mages. It... could be?"

 

"Either way, it will make things easier, if she approves," Cullen's words and gaze were affectionate, returned once more to the subtle and reserved Commander she was used to, "We should get things moved as soon as we can, lest _another_ emergency arrive first."

 

Ayr nodded, smiling as they spoke of other things, drawing ever closer to Skyhold.

 

 _Perhaps he is only so dominant when we're alone._ she mused, not minding the difference at all.

 

They rode into Skyhold in relative peace, greeting the people they passed and dismounting at the stables, Ayr leading her Hart into her stall while Cullen passed his Charger to Master Dennet.

 

"Commander! Lady Ayr! Welcome back!" an agent came running, pausing several feet away to salute them, "Several _visitors_ arrived while you were away, Commander. The Inquisitor has seen to them, but I believe they are rather anxious to see _you_."

 

"Who _are_ these visitors?" Cullen questioned suspiciously, sharing a confused look with Ayr.

 

The agent only shook his head, turning to head back towards the upper courtyard, "Best you see for yourself, Commander."

 

The couple shared another look before following after, both tensing at the feeling of walking into a situation with no prior warning, Ayr pulling her staff from her back and clutching it tightly out of habit.

 

They crested the top of the stairs and moved through the upper courtyard, both looking around wearily as they sought whoever these _visitors_ were.

 

The sound of pounding footsteps and a feminine cry of " _Cullen!"_ were the only warning they go.

 

 _Someone_ flung themselves at the Commander, catching him around the neck and making him stumble slightly under the unexpected weight, hands hovering over their back as though not _quite_ sure how to react.

 

Then he focused on the person - a young woman with blonde curls and amber eyes almost _identical_ to his and his expression turned to one of shocked happiness, " _Rosalie_? What are you _doing_ here?"

 

"Visiting _you_ , silly!" Rosalie giggled, hugging him tighter now that he wasn't a stiff board, the Commander's arms wrapping around his youngest sibling to return the hug.

 

"We arrived yesterday, only to be told you've left on a short _expedition_ ," the older, slightly annoyed voice drew his gaze, Cullen's smile staying wide as he locked gazes with his older sister, "It _is_ good to see you in one piece, however."

 

"Nice to see you to, Mia," Cullen chuckled, nodding to the golden man at her side, "Branson. Doing well?"

 

"Of course, Cullen, I'm not the one fighting Ancient Magisters, remember?" Branson grinned widely, gaze sweeping curiously around him, "Say, don't we get to meet the girl that's actually been making you _write_ to us? I'm _dying_ of curiosity, Cullen."

 

"Yes, where is Ayr? We've all been rather excited to meet her." Mia agreed, gaze falling over Cullen's shoulder, and he did his best to follow her direction with Rosalie still clinging to him.

 

Ayr stood several feet away, standing rod straight and arms held stiffly at her sides, staff dropped to the ground. She looked like a halla caught in a wolves gaze - eyes wide and _terrified_ , lips pressed firmly together and ears angled back as he'd only seen her do when worried or upset.

 

_Well, she **is** meeting your entire family for the first time. Can't really blame her..._

 

"Ayr, this is-"

 

" _AYR!_ " Rosalie's voice was practically a _shriek_ as she released him and turned to fling herself at the petrified elf, "Oh, Maker, it's good to meet you!!"

 

Ayr wasn't at _all_ prepared for the young woman flinging herself at her, and she didn't _quite_ have Cullen's strength; when Rosalie's weight hit her she toppled _backwards_ , sending them both to the ground and _hissing_ when her head connected with the hard dirt.

 

"Rosalie!"

 

"Oi, Rose, _calm down_!"

 

"Ayr!"

 

"I'm fine!" Ayr let her hand shoot out towards the sky to stop Cullen from panicking, wincing and pushing into a sitting position with her other, "I'm fine. Just... gonna have a headache, but I'm fine. Didn't _quite_ expect to be _tackled_."

 

"You sure?" Cullen was crouched beside her, worried as usual, and Ayr gave him a soft smile, reaching up to brush her thumb over his cheek.

 

"I'm _fine_." she repeated, pushing back the urge to kiss him since they had an _audience_ , "Just _surprised_."

 

"I'm _sorry_ , Ayr!" Rosalie - still half on top of the redhead, since Ayr had taken the brunt of the fall - practically _wailed_ , big, amber eyes staring _pleadingly_ at the elf, "I didn't mean to knock you over! I was just so _excited_ to meet you!"

 

"It's okay. Really! I'm thrilled to meet you, to," Ayr smiled at the youngest Rutherford before her gaze lifted to the other siblings, " _All_ of you. We didn't know you were coming?"

 

"It was a somewhat impromptu decision, honestly," Mia agreed, smiling kindly down at her. When Cullen straightened to stand near them, Ayr could see that the siblings all shared the exact same colouring; golden curls and amber eyes. "But with Fade Rifts still active around Ferelden, we thought it safer to join you here at Skyhold."

 

"Plus we wanted to meet Ayr." Branson added in nonchalantly, his grin so alike his brothers he could practically be a younger version of Cullen, "And see _you_ , Cullen, of course."

 

"Of course." The Commander rolled his eyes, offering hands to Rosalie and Ayr and helping them both back to their feet, "You have been given accommodations?"

 

"Of course, Commander," Amaris' lilting voice teased from behind them, the blonde elf approaching with a rueful grin, "What kind of host do you _think_ I am?"

 

"Amaris was most helpful, when we arrived; we have comfortable quarters, all of us." Mia's gaze was locked on Ayr, the redhead trying not to fidget and to meet the amber stare head-on, "And we knew that if Ayr was so pleasant in her letters, and Amaris was so likeable in person, then there would be no troubles."

 

"Ayr! Can you show me around Skyhold?" Rosalie had taken Ayr's hands in her own suddenly, _pleading_ with her expression, "Please? Amaris showed us the basics, but I want to _explore_ , and Mia said we can't unless we have a _guide_!"

 

"You want _me_ to show you?" Ayr repeated, still slightly surprised by the youngest Rutherford's enthusiasm.

 

"Well, yeah! I want to get to know you, and that's a good way, right? And then when you come visit _us_ , we can show you around _there_!"

 

"I would rather like a tour myself, Ayr," Mia stepped up beside her sister, smiling kindly, "If you would be so inclined...?"

 

"O-of course." heart thumping, Ayr swallowed, sharing a quick look with Cullen before letting Rosalie tug her away, "Um, what parts would you like to see?"

 

"Ayr!" Amaris called after her, grinning joyfully, "The ceremonies been bumped up to tonight, just before the sun sets! Vivienne has an outfit for you!"

 

Ayr just waved over her shoulder to signal she'd heard her, Rosalie going off about something while tugging her along and Mia laughing quietly.

 

Cullen shook his head with a chuckle, gaze going to his brother, "Branson, I need your help, actually."

 

Branson's eyebrows lifted curiously, "Oh?"

 

"Inquisitor." looking back to the blonde elf, Cullen let his lips quirk, "Assuming you don't object... I asked Ayr to move into my room. She agreed."

 

Amaris' eyes lit up, smile brighter then he'd ever seen it. "Perfect timing, Commander; after tonight, I don't think I'd be able to handle sleeping away from Solas, anymore. There's a couple of hours before I need to get ready, if you'd like to grab her things?"

 

"Please. Branson, you up to helping me move a few things?"

 

"Sure, Cullen. Anything to help that _delicious_ little elf you've found yourself," seeing his brothers face, Branson barked out a laugh, "I'm _joking_ , Cullen, Maker, lighten _up_."

 

"We'll see how amused you are when you're helping me carry things up a _ladder_." Cullen grumbled, smirking at the sputter his brothers laughter turned into, heading up the steps with Amaris smiling knowingly at his side.

 

"A _ladder_? You're kidding, right? Cullen? _Cullen_?!"

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The ceremony was short but breathtaking, happening just as the sun began its descent and streams of light filtered over the upper courtyard.

 

Solas wore what looked like Ancient Elvhen robes, blue and green and silver to match the tones Amaris wore, looking more imposing and regal then anyone had ever seen him look.

 

Amaris' dress was Elvhen based with Vivienne's little touches added; wispy fabric and billowing sleeves in white and pale blue, tight in the bodice and flared only slightly in the skirt, hair elegantly arranged.

 

The Elf overseeing the ceremony was, amazingly, one of Briala's contacts, sent by Celene's consort to help with the preparations.

 

It was brief, with none of the hype and pomp that usually accompanied weddings in both Orlais and Ferelden, especially considering Amaris' status.

 

It was the contact asking a few questions, nodding, and then stepping back while the two spoke vows to each other in lilting Elvhen, loud enough that the crowd could catch the words.

 

Sadly, only the elves in attendance would understand the meanings - Ayr smiling softly the entire time, standing at Cullen's side and dressed in a rather more subtle version of the dress Vivienne had forced her into at Halamshiral, her hand linked with his - and most of the crowd was simply there to witness the happenings.

 

Cullen was paying rapt attention, trying to catch the words and see if he recognized anything. 'Vhenan' was murmured a few times, as well as other phrases he'd heard but didn't know the meanings to.

 

He'd almost given up when the Elven couple moved towards each other and kissed - Solas' arms tight around Amaris' waist, her own hands cupping his face, more passion then he'd ever seen the elf give - before pulling back, murmuring one last phrase to each other.

 

"Ar lath ma, Solas."

 

"Ar lath ma, Amaris. _Forever_."

 

And then, as he watched them, something _clicked_. The way they'd said it - the _timing_ \- finally deciphered the meaning, the truth behind that little phrase that Ayr had been whispering to him.

 

Glancing down at the redhead as the crowd around them broke out in cheers - her green eyes locked on her cousin, smile brilliant - Cullen smirked, grip tightening on her hand.

 

He didn't need to ask Solas what the phrase meant. He _knew_.

 

He just needed the right time to let _Ayr_ know.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"Is there a reason you're sitting alone, staring grumpily at the fire, instead of _dancing_ , dear brother?"

 

Cullen shifted his gaze from the giant bonfire and the people dancing around it to his sister's knowing expression, lifting his eyebrows, "You know as well as I Mia that I am _not_ a dancer. And I am not staring _grumpily_ at the fire."

 

"Really, now?" Mia took a seat beside him, tucking her dress primly beneath her as she watched him, "I repeat the question, Cullen. Why aren't you dancing with Ayr?"

 

"Rosalie seems to have that front covered, Mia," Cullen chuckled, indicating the two young women spinning around the fire not far from where they sat, laughter and shrieks coming from them.

 

"She wouldn't mind if you stole Ayr away, you know."

 

"I know, and I will. I was just letting them have their fun. Rosalie seems incredibly fond of Ayr."

 

"We _all_ are." Mia chided softly, "And you know it, Cullen."

 

That he couldn't argue.

 

After the ceremony, Josephine had had a _feast_ prepared, everyone present piling into the Great Hall to eat and drink and be merry.

 

He and Ayr had been at the head table with Amaris, Solas and the rest of the Inner Circle, though his family had been placed at the next table and they'd been able to converse the entire time.

 

Several of their Companions had been drunk well before the Bonfire had been erected - Cullen would swear he had caught Cassandra leaning on Varric, looking tipsy but happy, the dwarf wearing an expression of surprised _pleasure_ \- and everyone who wasn't wasted or sleeping had headed down to the lower courtyard once the sun had completely set.

 

Now, the guests and Companions danced and made merry, circling the fire and celebrating their Inquisitors happiness.

 

Amaris and Solas had shared perhaps two dances before they had disappeared, surprising no one.

 

Branson - still the charming flirt Cullen remembered him being - had danced with a number of Skyhold's eligible women over the course of the night, and Ayr had been snagged by Rosalie after initially refusing the younger woman.

 

 _No one_  could say no to Rosalie's puppy dog eyes.

 

"So... any _developments_ since you and Ayr last wrote me?" Mia enquired casually, watching the two women still spinning around the fire.

 

"Developments as in...?"

 

"Have you... _exchanged_ anything? Promises? Objects? _Anything_?"

 

Scowling, Cullen looked back at the fire, "I gave her the coin Branson gave me years ago for luck?"

 

Mia stared at him for a moment, eyebrow twitching in the way that told Cullen he was in for a lecture, and the Commander was unsurprised when her next words were " _Seriously,_ Cullen? A _coin_?"

 

"It's a _lucky_ coin, Mia. I've held onto it for years. What's wrong with that?"

 

"Makers _breath_ , Cullen, you don't give the woman you love a _coin_!"

 

"Who said I-"

 

" _Don't. you. **dare** , Cullen Rutherford._" Mia jabbed him in the chest, stern and _commanding_ , "Don't you _dare_ deny the one thing I've been certain of since Ayr _started_ writing to me in your stead. You _love_ her. And it's done a _world_ of good for you, too! I have _never_ seen you this happy!"

 

"I _know_ , Mia, I'm not _denying_ anything." Cullen growled back, flushing under her scrutiny and running a hand roughly through his hair, "I just haven't _voiced_ it to _her_ , yet."

 

"Well hurry it up! You're head over heels and we all know it. We want Ayr in the family." Mia crossed her arms and leaned back, looking the smug older sister, "Marry her."

 

"Isn't that just a bit _hasty_ , Mia?"

 

"Marry her, Cullen." Mia repeated, expression softening just a touch, "Before you lose the chance."

 

Cullen's mouth snapped shut, a growl threatening to break through as he returned her stare. Mia hadn't said anything he hadn't already been _thinking_ ; that as much as he would rather they take their time and end this business with Corypheus _before_ jumping into anything so permanent, what if there wasn't a chance to do so?

 

Ayr was always on the frontlines with Amaris; yes, she was a powerful mage, and yes, she was always surrounded by other allies, but...

 

_No. Don't think like that._

 

"Excuse me, Mia," he said aloud, standing, "I need to steal Ayr away from Rosalie."

 

The Commander strode quickly away from his older sister, approaching the girls as they finished another spin and grinning when Ayr's eyes caught his and lit up.

 

"Pardon me, Rose," Cullen grinned at his sister, bowing respectfully, "I fear I must steal Lady Ayr from you."

 

"Of _course_ , Commander Cullen," Rosalie giggled, surrendering the redheads hand to him and winking at Ayr, "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ayr!"

 

"Good _night_ , Rosalie," Ayr laughed, rolling her eyes and letting Cullen tug her in against his chest with a happy grin, hand landing on his shoulder as they started to sway.

 

"Having fun?" he questioned, bending so their foreheads were pressed together, "I hope Rose isn't being _too_ much of a pest."

 

"Oh, _please_ , Cullen, she's _fine_. A bit hyper, but definitely not a bother." Ayr was smiling still, eyes locked with his as they moved, "Mia's a bit intimidating, but she's really nice, too. I hope I've made an okay impression, it was rather... _sudden_..."

 

"They _adore_ you, Ayr," he rumbled, scar pulling tight at her surprised look, "It's true. You've made _quite_ the impression."

 

"Oh... that's. Good." Ayr bit her lip, "That's _good_ , right?"

 

"Yes, Ayr, that's good." Cullen laughed, holding her closer, "Though it means Rose will be at your side _constantly_ , just a warning."

 

"While I'm _here_ , maybe; remember, I'm not grounded anymore." Ayr grinned a little, batting her eyelashes, "Though I must say, I am _exhausted_. Think we can retire for the night?"

 

"Sure. Amaris and Solas left _hours_ ago."

 

Ayr winced, sighing a little as she stepped back and took his hand, heading away towards the Battlements, "Which means I should have grabbed my stuff earlier, because I am not going _anywhere_ near Amaris' chambers tonight. I guess I'm sleeping in my dress..."

 

"Fear not, Vhenan, it's _all_ taken care of." Cullen only gave her an innocent grin when she shot him a questioning look, continuing up the stairs and across the battlements to his office.

 

They entered and Cullen motioned for Ayr to head up first, taking the time to lock all three doors - a habit he'd developed since that night before Halamshiral - before following her up, grinning when he saw she was staring at the room in surprise.

 

"When did you...?" she murmured, wide green eyes turning to him when he stepped up behind her.

 

"Today, when you were showing Mia and Rosalie around," Cullen lifted his hands to rub up and down her arms, rather pleased with himself, "Branson helped, though you really didn't have _much_ , Ayr, it wasn't any trouble."

 

No trouble at all, really, since the redheads belonging's consisted of her staff and two trunks full of clothes and other things, her pack that she often carried and a small bag of toiletries.

 

"We need to get you a dresser, Ayr, at least; and feel free to rearrange things, we just wanted to get the trunks up-"

 

Ayr turned in his arms and reached up to hook her hands behind his neck, yanking him down and kissing him deeply, silencing any worries he may have had.

 

Cullen returned the kiss for a moment before Ayr pulled back with a happy purr, hugging him tightly and nuzzling her nose against his while murmuring "Ar lath ma, Cullen, _thank you_."

 

 _Now_ , his mind screamed, heart thumping at the words he now _knew_ the meaning to, _Tell her now!_

 

"I love you to, Ayr," he breathed, catching her gaze as her breath caught, staring back at him wide-eyed.

 

"You... did you ask...?"

 

"I figured it out, actually," Cullen nuzzled her gently, chuckling at her shiver, "During the ceremony, when Amaris and Solas said it to each other. That _is_ what it means, yes?"

 

"Yes..." Ayr had closed her eyes, her grip on him tight even as her voice seemed to waver, "I just... I thought... it was too soon, I would chase you away if I was to clingy..."

 

"You could never chase me away, Vhenan," Cullen bent to catch her lips again; just a gentle, tender touch, meant to reassure, " _I love you_ , Ayr Lavellan. I'm afraid you're _quite_ stuck with me."

 

"I love you." she said it in Common this time, in words he could understand without trying, and Cullen couldn't stop the happy rumble that left him, arms hooking beneath her legs to lift her up and carry her to the bed.

 

 _Their_ bed.

 

"Time for sleep now, love," Cullen commanded gently, blowing out the torch before dropping her gently onto the bed, following after to pull her against his chest and revel in the feel of her against him, "We have plans to make, tomorrow. We'll need our energy."

 

"Vivienne will _kill_ me for sleeping in this dress," Ayr whispered, giggling sleepily, "But I don't really care right now."

 

"Good. Sleep, Ayr. The morning will soon be upon us."

 

He felt her nod against his chest, felt the tension melt out of her as she succumbed to the exhaustion of the day, breathing evening out.

 

 _Make it through Adamant._ Cullen's eyes closed, following Ayr swiftly into sleep, _Then claim her as yours, Cullen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO UM.... yeah Cullen and Ayr have just taken over my brain I'm sorry /rubs face.
> 
> AND TADA THE WHOLE RUTHERFORD FAMILY IS NOW AT SKYHOLD WEEEEEEEEE.
> 
> :D TAMING THE DREADWOLF IS IN PROGRESS - which'll be a long oneshot acting as Prequel to the Lion and the Halla - and um I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING NEW?
> 
> I'm thrilled people are liking both this and Coffee Shops and Inquisitions! I entered this fandom thinking NO ONE would like the stories, since they're a bit different, and I am so thrilled I was wrong!
> 
> ALSO GUYS do you think this is still okay rated M or I should I be upping it to E?? I don't know how 'dirty' I've gotten with the smut so??? LET ME KNOW PLEASE.
> 
> Merry Christmas once more! Hopefully I'll have SOMETHING up for you wonderful people before New Years!
> 
> Kudos and Comments make my day!! <3


	12. Vhenan'ara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition lays Siege to Adamant Fortress.
> 
> Amaris discovers her magic is stronger - and questions Solas about it.
> 
> And Cullen and Ayr finally take that one step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I upped the rating. Specifically because of this chapter. *hides face* DON'T JUDGE ME.
> 
> But for serious, there is FULL SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. And I mean full, DETAILED smut. I don't mean like... stupidly dirty smut, but there's detail. This is actually probably the most detailed I've gone with smut.
> 
> Certainly that I'm HAPPY with, and that I've POSTED anywhere. /dear God I hope it's okay hrrrrrrg
> 
> REGARDLESS. This story is now slowly making it's way towards 900 hits, and I just... I can't believe it. You guys are just awesome, you know that? PEOPLE LIKE MY STORIES! HURRAH!
> 
> /also as a heads up this chapter is a taste of what you'll see a loooot more of in the Avvar!AU whenever I manage to get it out. Just a warning.
> 
> ENJOY! <3 HAPPY FIRST CHAPTER OF 2016! <3

Three days came and went, and, as night fell, the siege of Adamant began.

 

Cullen was more glad than ever that Mia, Rosalie and Branson had shown up unexpectedly at Skyhold; it meant not having to worry about them being anywhere _near_ the fighting, or in any danger of being invaded.

 

Rosalie had been attached to Ayr as much as possible, leaving the still fairly-new couple with even less time to themselves then before.

 

It meant they hadn't been able to continue where they'd left off, that night at Caer Bronach, but Cullen could be patient; he would keep the promises' he'd made that night, _after_ his sisters excitement had died down somewhat.

 

And, after Adamant.

 

There was, of course, resistance; the Grey Wardens - both demon-bound mages and warriors alike - put up a fight, not about to back down easily.

 

Cullen spurred the men on, watching as several ladders made contact and Inquisition soldiers began to storm the battlements, battering ram arriving right on time.

 

_Once_ , the door groaned.

 

_Twice_ , the wood _creaked_ and splintered, coming apart under the steady barrage.

 

_Thrice_ , the doors split and fell, leaving the way into the main courtyard open.

 

Amaris, Ayr, and the rest of their party swept in as the way was cleared, spells and arrows flying, swords flashing as they cut down the demons awaiting them.

 

Only the sounds of battle above remained once the Courtyard was cleared, leaving the way into the massive Keep open for the prepared group.

 

"We'll keep them occupied as long as we can, Inquisitor," Cullen swore, already motioning to the troops to fall into position as they cleared the battering Ram, "If you can, take out some of the opposition along the walls; we haven't been able to get a strong foothold up there due to the demons."

 

"We will, Commander, you stay safe." Amaris made quick motions to their party - Solas, Cassandra, Varric and Dorian, all standing in a half circle around she and Ayr - "We'll be fine, don't take any risks."

 

"We will do what is necessary, Inquisitor."

 

"We will see you once we've won the battle, then." Amaris turned and headed into the Keep, party tight around her.

 

"Cullen." Ayr's voice to his left made him pause, turning in time for her to grab him by the collar and yank him down for a quick kiss, muttering "Stay safe." against his lips.

 

"You too." Cullen managed before she was releasing him and dashing after her cousin, flinging a fire-spell as she rounded the corner.

 

_Win the battle, Firecracker. Stop the demons. We will do our part out here._

"Men! To your stations! We must support the Inquisitor as best we can!"

 

"Yes, ser!"

 

_Stay safe,_ the Commander paused to glance back once more before jogging after the troops, _All of you._

 

"It's about _time_ you got here," Alistair tried to joke when they met him inside, sword dripping with the blood of a Warden he'd been forced to slay, "Hawke's on the Battlements, helping your troops; I haven't made it quite that far in myself, yet."

 

"Let's not keep her waiting then," Amaris agreed, leading the charge through the Keep with a stern face and tight grip on her staff.

 

She quickly lost track of how many demons and Wardens they were forced to slay on their path, eventually coming across a group of Warriors cornered by their demon-possessed brethren.

 

" _STAND DOWN!_ " Amaris demanded once the hostiles had been taken care of, voice commanding, "We have _not_ come to slay Wardens, only to end this mad plot! Stay out of the battle and we will have no quarrel!"

 

"You need not worry about us, Inquisitor," one of the men grunted, sinking down on a crate, "We've no interest in this crazy scheme. Do as you must."

 

"Amaris," Ayr nudged her, jerking her head towards the sound of battle, "We should find Hawke, quickly."

 

"You're right, Ayr, let's go." Amaris steeled herself and moved determinedly forward, dreading what they would find on the battlements.

 

Solas matched his stride to hers and let their hands brush for a moment, sending _Confidence, Assurance, Determination_ through the Bond.

 

Amaris's lips twitched, chin lifting at the swell of confidence he'd given her, sending back _Gratitude, Love_ , and striding more quickly to the stairs that would take them up.

 

The Battlement's were a mess of demons and Wardens and Inquisition soldiers, but they were prepared, fighting their way across and clearing through enemies as they went.

 

Hawke they found at one of the furthest battlements, taking down demons as though they were Nugs and pausing only once the area was clear and they had approached.

 

"Inquisitor, glad to see you. Shall I follow you now?"

 

"Stay with my men, Hawke; help us clear the battlements first," Amaris requested, already scanning the other towers, "Once that's finished, we'll meet up and move on."

 

"Sounds like a plan."

 

Hawke was off without another word, but that Amaris expected; it was much how Varric described her, and the blonde wondered if even now the dwarf wished he could chase after his old friend.

 

A worry for another time. Amaris signaled to her party and they moved on, seeking out and slaying any remaining demons and hostile Wardens.

 

Eventually, the path was cleared, and they met up with Hawke at the stairs to the innermost courtyard, where the ritual was likely taking place.

 

Everyone had taken damage, no matter how careful they'd been.

 

Ayr's armor had a long scorch mark down the back, one of the plated shoulders cracked and in pieces from a Pride Demons whip, though she swore she was fine and would likely only have minor bruising.

 

Cassandra's armor had new dents, Varric sported a new tear in his sleeve, Dorian's left hand had only now unthawed from a Despair Demons breath, Alistair and Hawke both showed signs of injury but kept silent...

 

Amaris herself only had a small scratch on her cheek from where a Shade had struck out at her; Solas had been protecting _her_ more so then himself, and it showed in the tears and cracks in the armor he wore.

 

_Thank you, Vhenan,_ she whispered through their Bond, _knowing_ he would hear her even if she still wasn't sure about _that_ effect of the Bond, _Be careful._

 

_You as well, Vhenan._ his voice murmured back in her mind, and they shared a quick nod before Amaris pushed forwards, into the main Courtyard and the crazy ritual taking place there.

 

It was, as she had expected, a mess.

 

Erimond presided from higher up beside Warden Commander Clarel, the Wardens below surrounding what seemed to be a slowly stabilizing Fade Rift.

 

Reasoning worked with some; her words reached several of the Warden Warriors, and the few Mages who _hadn't_ been bound to demons.

 

Even _Clarel_ hesitated.

 

And then Erimond summoned that damn _dragon_ , the one Amaris remembered all too well from the night Haven had _burned_.

 

_Anger_ coursed through her, hot and potent, but she reigned it in and kept a cool head, ready to fight even as Clarel attacked first Erimond and then the dragon before they _both_ went running off, the Warden Commander's last command being ' _Help_ the Inquisitor!'

 

The party fought off the slew of demons summoned in the Magister's wake before charging after, dodging through crumbling arches and diving out of the way when the dragon unleashed its fire from above.

 

Finally - _finally_ \- they found Clarel and Erimond, engaged in a dual at the end of a long, half-destroyed area of the Battlements, the Warden Commander steadily approaching the stumbling Magister.

 

Amaris didn't hear the words they exchanged - Clarel struck Erimond to the ground and stood over him, demanding answers for a moment before _flinging_ him across the ground with a spell, leaving him curled up in a ball and Clarel about to strike-

 

-only for that _damned_ dragon to reappear and grab her in its mouth, shaking its head and _tossing_ her onto the ground.

 

And then it's attention was on _them_ , backing them steadily towards the open end of the pathway, Amaris swearing mentally and desperately looking for a way out.

 

One that Clarel, with her dying breath, gave them.

 

"In War, Victory... In Peace, _Vigilance_..."

 

The spell hit the dragon in the chest just as it leaped, _roaring_ as it tumbled off course and smashed into the end of the pathway before falling away, disappearing from sight.

 

And then the pathway began to give out.

 

" _RUN_!"

 

 

They all took off - Ayr back-tracking to help Alistair up when he stumbled - but the collapsing stones caught them anyways, sending them all tumbling into the open sky and hurtling towards the ground.

 

_No! I refuse to let it end like this!_

 

Amaris' hand - her left hand, glowing sickly, eerie green - snapped out in front of her, her brain on autopilot and desperate to _survive_.

 

Something _flashed_ from her hand, _pain_ throbbing through her palm as a tear formed in the sky and then _ripped_ open before them, sending them all tumbling through it and then snapping shut.

 

All Amaris knew was darkness.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

They were in the Fade.

 

Really, _physically_ , in the _Fade_.

 

This was the reality Amaris awoke to after what was likely only five seconds of unconsciousness, _oof_!ing when she was dropped rather roughly onto the ground.

 

She'd done this before - she didn't remember any _details_ from the excursion, but she had been in the Fade physically before - and she hated it as much as she _did_ remember hating it then.

 

A wave of _surprise, wonder, worry, excitement_ came to her from Solas, her Bonded staring openly at the green world surrounding them.

 

"This shouldn't be possible." he murmured, turning an awed look on her when she approached him, "You have now crossed the Veil _twice_ , Vhenan, and you brought us all _with_ you this time. It is a miracle we're alive."

 

"Better than being dead on the ground outside Adamant." she murmured in response, wincing at a twinge of pain from the mark and rubbing at it absently.

 

Solas' look turned to one of worry immediately, reaching to take her left palm between his and massaging the pain away tenderly, "You have strained it, Amaris. If you can help it, do _not_ use it while we are here."

 

"On that note..." Ayr drawled from behind them, and Amaris turned to find her biting her lip and scowling, staying close to Dorian's side, "Let's find a way _out_ of here. Like, _right now_."

 

"There was an Open Rift back in the main plaza," Amaris mused,  stretching her fingers when Solas released her and nodding in thanks, "Where they were summoning that huge demon. If we can find our way there, we can get back through that Rift."

 

"Seems like our best option."

 

"Alright." Amaris steeled herself and started forwards, knowing the others would follow, "Let's get out of here."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

While Amaris enjoyed the parts of the Fade she'd visited in Sleep - especially since Solas had begun to join her journeys at night - she _hated_ the part they were in now.

 

They had fought off demons and wisps along the path, meeting with what was most likely a Spirit impersonating Divine Justinia as they made their way deeper.

 

Honestly, Amaris hoped - and tried to believe - that it _was_ the Divine, come to help them. For Cassandra's sake, if nothing else.

 

Regardless, she was helping them; leading them through the pathways of the Fade, through demon infested waters and tunnels filled with Spiders that seemed to represent different fears.

 

Amaris was also regaining her memories; memories, it turned out, that had been taken by the Nightmare, the demon haunting them through the Fade and constantly taunting them from the Shadows.

 

Still they pressed on, helping Dreamer's in the Fade by chasing away their Fears, defeating monsters, gathering memories.

 

It was as they crested another hill - a dead end with a broken mirror and a frozen body that shifted into a demon - that the Nightmare upped its taunts, addressing each of them in turn.

 

Everyone responded to the taunts as she had expected; brushing them off, or retaliating with a biting comment, brusque and unfazed. It _skipped_ her, and she wondered if perhaps she had to _many_ fears, or if she was somehow managing to shield herself.

 

_Ayr's_ fear - and reaction - were the only ones that surprised her.

 

" ** _Ah, the younger cousin, forever doomed to be in Amaris' shadow,"_ ** the Nightmare chuckled, voice echoing as they walked, **_"You fear you will never be the First at anything, never as strong as you pretend to be."_**

 

"Shut up." Ayr whispered, clutch on her staff so tight her knuckles were white, face turned towards the ground.

 

Amaris paused, staring at her cousin in surprise, "Ayr?"

 

**_"You fear that you are a mere distraction for the Golden Commander, a past-time, that you'll never live up to his First Love-"_ **

 

"SHUT UP!" Ayr spun and _hurled_ a fireball, higher into the walls surrounding the area they'd just been in, "You're _wrong_!"

 

The Nightmare - having been hovering in the walls and disappearing just before the spell could hit it - laughed eerily.

 

Amaris was startled. Not only by the revelations, but by the fact that the Nightmare had been _right there_ the whole time.

 

"Ayr..." Amaris went to reach out and hesitated, unsure, "I didn't... I'm sorry, I never meant to."

 

"Amaris, it's _lying_ ," Ayr's voice was still a little shaky, but she managed a grin, "Maybe when we were kids, yeah, I felt like I was always in your shadow, but that was a _long_ time ago. Its latching onto buried fears, old fears; it's like we've said. I suck at casting ice magic, and you suck at casting fire magic. That's it."

 

"To true." Amaris agreed, though she still worried. _That fear about Cullen... Ayr, we need to talk later._

 

Later. Once they'd gotten out of this Creators forsaken place.

 

They pushed onwards - forever onwards - and helped more Dreamers, fought more demons.

 

Regained more memories... memories that marked the Divine as a Spirit, as the real Divine had been killed.

 

Even so, Amaris hoped it was, in some way, Divine Justinia, as it continued to help them, lowering the Final Barrier before the Nightmare's lair as they held off the demon swarms.

 

They waded through the final swamp with their weapons ready and their expressions grim, every one of them ready to fight their way out of the Fade.

 

And then they crested the stairs at the end and stared at the gigantic demon spider blocking their exit, the Nightmare hovering in front of it.

 

Even as they braced for battle, the Spirit floated past them, ghostly voice whispering ' _Tell Leliana... I'm sorry. I failed you, too._ ' before enveloping the demon in its light.

 

The Spider seemed vanquished, but the Nightmare rose directly above them, hissing angrily.

 

**_"You will not escape this place!"_ **

 

They worked, as always, as a team, with Hawke and Alistair as additional strengths, but the Nightmare was strong, fast, and it disappeared and summoned demons constantly, prolonging the battle.

 

Amaris could feel herself draining - had even resorted to downing a Lyrium potion - as she took out what seemed the last of the current wave of demons, gaze darting around to spot the Nightmare.

 

"Amaris _move_!"

 

Amaris stumbled when she was suddenly _shoved_ to the side, hearing a sudden _whoosh_ and Ayr crying out behind her.

 

Whipping around, she realized immediately what had happened, cursing and flinging another barrage of spells at the cursed Nightmare before casting a barrier around herself and her cousin.

 

The Nightmare had materialized _right_ behind her, and Ayr had shoved her out of the way; the creatures attack had hit the redhead instead of her.

 

"Ayr! Are you-?"

 

"I'm _fine_!" Ayr growled, shoving back to her feet and _yanking_ off the rest of her now ruined sleeve and shoulder armor, revealing the long cut running across her upper arm - not deep, thanks to the now destroyed armor - flinging a spell with a curse, "Let's just _kill_ this thing already!"

 

Seemingly spurred on by the creatures attack, the group upped their game, spells and arrows smashing through its defences and distracting it so Cassandra and Alistair could get in close and take chunks out with their swords.

 

Finally the creature _screamed_ as a last fireball hit it, disintegrating as it fell away into ashes, leaving the path to the Fade Rift clear.

 

"Get her _out_ of here!" Amaris commanded, taking a quick survey of the group and the area.

 

Dorian _grabbed_ Ayr at her cousins command and made quickly for the Fade Rift _despite_ the redheads protests that she could make it herself, the others following swiftly after.

 

Amaris, Alistair and Hawke hesitated to cover the back, to used to being ambushed from behind.

 

And then - as they _finally_ mounted the steps, ready to follow the others - that _damned_ Spider demon rose from the mists, making terrible sounds and looming over them.

 

"I'll stay to cover your escape!" Alistair said in one ear, regret in his voice, "To make up for the Wardens mistakes!"

 

"No, the Wardens will _need_ you, Alistair! _I_ will stay!" Hawke said in the other ear, longing and hopelessness in her voice, "It's my fault for finding Corypheus in the first place!"

 

_Vhenan? Amaris, where are you?_ came Solas' voice in her mind, worried and desperate.

 

Images flitted in her mind, though she didn't know where they came from, as they were certainly not _her_ memories-

 

_Alistair and a vaguely familiar raven haired elf bidding each other farewell, promising they would meet again as soon as the elves' mission was completed, and they could be together, forever._

_Hawke and a silver haired elf curled together in bed, sleeping - and then moments later Hawke slipping out into the night, a letter left on the bedside to explain where she'd gone, and that she would be back, she promised._

 

-and Amaris felt _something_ flare inside of her, knowing she couldn't let _either_ of them stay, not when they had people waiting for them to come home.

 

_Amaris?_

_Solas, I can't leave them here! I can't let them-_

_Amaris! What's happened?_

_The way is blocked, but I can't let them stay. I refuse to lose anyone else!_

_Amaris. Focus. You defeated the Nightmare. You can defeat its pet._

 

"Inquisitor!" both Hawke and Alistair exclaimed, waiting for her decision; the decision as to which of them would die.

 

A decision she would never make.

 

" _No one_ is staying." Amaris' voice was almost a growl, _latching_ onto that building energy she felt and lifting her hands, left palm glowing _bright_ , eerie green - Solas had said not to use it, but she _had_ to, she had to _save_ them-

 

"I will _not_ lose anyone else to Corypheus and his pets!" _gripping_ the power and lifting her left hand to aim it directly at the damned spider, Amaris _snarled_ and let her magic _fly_ , the Mark flashing _brilliantly_ as it mixed with her own spells and went after its target, "You cannot _have_ them!"

 

She used _every_ inch of power she had left, every drop of magic she possessed, Mark flashing brighter and brighter as it obeyed her will, strengthening and boosting the attack.

 

The Spider snarled and hissed, but was trapped in place by the ice now steadily encasing it's body, creeping its way up the disgusting torso and covering the face, solidifying and denying it even the air of the Fade.

 

"Let's _go_!" Amaris demanded the moment the spell had finished and she could lower her arm, hand _throbbing_ as they dashed for the Fade Rift and _dove_ through it.

 

They emerged in the main courtyard, the rest of their party aiding Inquisition soldiers and Wardens alike in fighting off the remaining demons.

 

Amaris stood and ripped her hand back over her shoulder in a familiar motion, the Fade Rift _shattering_ and the demons disintegrating with shrieking wails.

 

Then she hopped up on the platform that had been supporting it, wanting everyone's attention and to be _done_ with the night as soon as possible.

 

An Agent came jogging up, looking weary and unarmed, "Inquisitor! The Arch demon flew off the moment you disappeared into the Rift. The Wardens helped us fight off the Demons while you were gone; Commander Cullen and the men who stayed near the perimeter and outer areas are outside, awaiting your orders."

 

"Good man. Tell the Commander to take the troops home to Skyhold; we will return tomorrow, once things have been fully settled here."

 

"Yes, Inquisitor."

 

"Inquisitor," one of the Wardens stepped forwards, crossing his arm over his chest, "We Wardens stand ready to make up for Clarel's... terrible mistakes." he turned his attention to Alistair, "Ser Alistair, you are the Senior surviving Grey Warden. What do we do now?"

 

Alistair - now holding an arm across his stomach, no longer pretending he had not been wounded - cast his gaze to Amaris, giving her a short nod that indicated his intentions.

 

_Do what you must, Inquisitor._

 

"Join the Inquisition," Amaris commanded, having known all along what she would say if asked, "We need you should another Blight strike us, and we could use your aid in the fight against Corypheus. For now, stay, and help us rebuild."

 

She knew there would be people who disapproved - felt a vague thread of it from Solas, though he kept silence - but what she'd said was true, and no one argued.

 

"Thank you, your Worship." the first Warden spoke up again, "We will not fail you."

 

"While they do that, I'll report to the Wardens at Weisshaupt. We won't be caught off Guard by Corypheus again. Although..." Alistair paused, wincing, "I _do_ wonder if you'd mind my joining you back to Skyhold for a few days, to recuperate, first."

 

"I will do the same, as well," Hawke spoke from Alistair's side, looking weary but otherwise no worse for wear, "Though I will need to return to Kirkwall sooner than later, I imagine, else Fenris come hunting."

 

"You are welcome at Skyhold anytime, Alistair, Hawke." Amaris assured them, stepping down from the platform and hiding a wince when her palm throbbed again, glad when Solas stepped up beside her, "For tonight, we will rest here, and tomorrow we will return to Skyhold. Do you have medics?"

 

"Of course, your Worship."

 

"Good." Amaris allowed herself to lean into Solas, to let her head rest against his shoulder with a quiet, weary sigh, "Then let's get everyone looked after."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The Battlements were silent, deserted, cleared, now, of the bodies and ashes of the slain.

 

Amaris escaped to the out-looking wall later in the night with a borrowed blanket wrapped around her shoulders to ward off the cold, dressed only in the blue shirt and cotton breaches she always wore beneath her armor.

 

Her mind was a jumble of thoughts, and she'd needed to step outside, away from her companions and the remaining Wardens, from the thanks and congratulations and long, _grateful_ looks both Alistair and Hawke kept giving her.

 

Amaris winced and lifted her left hand when her palm throbbed again, keeping the fingers balled tight to conceal the Mark and rather wishing it would stop hurting.

 

Freezing that Spider... she hadn't known she could do it. Hadn't expected the desperate act to _work_. Yet it had, and she'd managed to get _everyone_ out of the Fade in one piece, together.

 

Her magic, it seemed, was stronger, and she didn't know _why_.

 

_Although_ , to be honest, she had suspicions. Ones that were growing stronger every day.

 

And now, as she heard gentle footsteps on the stone behind her, emotions flowing to her through their Bond as he drew closer, Amaris prepared herself to _ask_.

 

"Vhenan, you should be inside," Solas chided softly, stepping up behind her so he could wrap his arms around her waist and rest his chin on her shoulder, providing warmth, "You will catch cold out here."

 

"I rather like the cold, Solas; I _am_ an ice mage," Amaris teased softly, leaning back into him and letting her eyes close as she enjoyed being held by him.

 

"Mhm." was his only response for a moment, content where he was, before prodding "You spared the Wardens."

 

"Mhm." Amaris echoed him, having known the question was coming.

 

"I would have advised against it, had you asked me. But... you were right. If we face another Blight, we will need them." Solas hesitated, as though afraid to ask, "Amaris... what _happened_ in the Fade?"

 

"The Spider Demon came back." she murmured, the events flashing beneath her closed eyelids, "It was blocking the exit. Alistair and Hawke both _demanded_ I let one of them stay, to distract it, but... I couldn't.

 

I saw... _memories_ , Solas. _Their_ memories, of the last times they'd... seen their other halves, the ones who guard their hearts. I couldn't let them - let _either_ of them die."

 

"And so...?"

 

"I froze it. I encased the demon in ice - I don't know if I killed it, only that I immobilized it. It was enough, if we could get out." Amaris opened her eyes to stare at the sky, unable to take the images anymore, "I used the Mark - you told me not to, but I _had_ to do _something_ \- and my magic seemed - still seems - _stronger_ , somehow. Was that... Solas, did _you_ help me, was that _your_ magic...?"

 

"No, Vhenan, it was all yours. You _are_ stronger," Solas pressed a reassuring kiss to her throat, continuing "The memories you saw - of Hawke and Alistair - were likely caused by the Fade, and your strong connection to it. Your magic being stronger, however, _is_ because of the Bond. I am not sure why it happens, only that it does, especially when the two Bonded are both mages."

 

"Being able to hear each other's thoughts... is that a usual effect of Bonding?"

 

"...no." Solas admitted after a moment, "Or, I am not sure, would perhaps be the better answer. As I have never Bonded with anyone before you, I cannot say that each Bonded pair does not develop their own unique connections, only that I have not heard of it happening before."

 

"Okay."

 

They stood in silence for a time before Solas lifted his chin and took her palm between his again, examining the Mark with careful fingers.

 

"Has it spread?" she asked quietly.

 

"No, Vhenan, it has not," Solas assured her, massaging the still throbbing flesh with his thumbs, "The pain should go away in a day or so."

 

"Good. I was worried I had broken whatever was keeping it stable, but I couldn't bring myself to look."

 

"Thankfully, that is not the case, Vhenan. Though I would still advise against using it for a few days-"

 

"Solas?"

 

Solas' words trailed off when she said his name, thumbs still massaging her palm, "Vhenan?"

 

"You're keeping things from me." Amaris said softly.

 

It was not an accusation, or a question. Just a simple statement.

 

Solas hesitated for a heartbeat, pausing in his massage, "...yes, Vhenan."

 

The admission didn't hurt, because Amaris had known for a while. Known there were parts of himself that he didn't show anyone, including her, parts of his past she was not familiar with, memories and emotions that he would not let flow through their Bond.

 

"Will you tell me?"

 

"Vhenan... Amaris, I want to. But now is not the time."

 

"Will you tell me, when that time comes?" Amaris shifted her hands so she was holding his, noticing a slight tremor to them and sending _love, trust, patience_ through to him.

 

"I will, Vhenan," Solas answered immediately, a rush of _love, affection, gratefulness, yearning_ washing over her as he turned her to face him, expression serious, "I swear to you, when I can, I will tell you everything."

 

"Ar lath ma, Solas," Amaris tilted her head back to look him in the eye, lifting her unmarked hand to his cheek and smiling when he turned to press a kiss to her palm, "Nothing will change that. I am yours, Vhenan, as long as you will have me."

 

"How did I find you, Amaris? What have I done to deserve you?" Solas bent to kiss her, soft but urgent, a hand at the back of her head to tilt her head further, "I have done _nothing_ to deserve this happiness, but I will not give it up. _Ar lath ma, Amaris Lavellan._ My wife. I am yours until the end."

 

"Thank Mythal." Amaris whispered, returning the kiss until he pulled away, leading her gently back towards the room they were all staying in.

 

"Come, Vhenan, we should sleep. And I know you want to talk to Ayr before we return to Skyhold."

 

"I do." Amaris frowned a little at the thought, clutching his hand a bit tighter as they walked, "The things the Nightmare said... I'm worried."

 

"As am I, though I feel we are overreacting. I do not truly believe that Ayr thinks Cullen will grow tired of her."

 

"No." Amaris agreed, "I do worry that she thinks about the _second_ part of that taunting, however. In regards to his first love... though with how Cullen _looks_ at Ayr, I do not think she has anything to worry about."

 

"I agree." Solas paused as they stepped into the room, lifting her hand to brush his lips over the back, "I do think she could use the reassurance, however. I will prepare the bedrolls; take what time you need."

 

"Thank you, Solas," Amaris stole another quick kiss before crossing the room to where the Warden medic was still patching up members of the party, eyes locking on the redheaded elf sitting on a table with a far-off look in her eye.

 

There were bandages tied tightly around her right bicep, covering the wound she'd gotten shoving Amaris out of the Nightmare's way. Still, no red bled through, and Amaris smiled when Ayr looked up and saw her approaching.

 

"Hey, Ayr. Arm okay?"

 

"I'm fine, it'll be healed in a day or two," Ayr shrugged, seeming nonchalant, "My armors ruined, though; the Wardens said they would find me a new set to wear back to Skyhold tomorrow."

 

"I'm sorry, Ayr, it's my fault."

 

"Amaris," Ayr had a hand on her shoulder to stop her, eyes serious, "I would rather lose my _armor_ then lose my _cousin_."

 

Realizing she was right - the Nightmare had been intending a killing blow - Amaris sighed and nodded, moving to sit beside her, "I'd have to agree with you, on that. Where's Dorian?"

 

"Trying to sleep, I think. The Fade freaked him out more then he wants to let on." Ayr jerked her head, and Amaris turned, taking in their companions spread out around the room.

 

Dorian was indeed curled up in a sleeping roll in the corner, though Amaris was sure the empty one next to him was meant for Ayr, when she went to bed.

 

Solas had done as he'd said and had a nook claimed for the two of them, though he was currently sitting and conversing with Alistair, the Warden now bandaged and looking less pained.

 

Varric, Hawke, and - surprisingly - _Cassandra_ , sat at a small table near the other side of the room, the two Kirkwaller's laughing and going off about something while the Seeker shook her head and tried to conceal a grin.

 

And then there was them. The Inquisitor who had managed to save everyone, again, and Ayr, who was _definitely_ quieter than usual.

 

"Ayr," Amaris began, "About the things the Nightmare said..."

 

"Don't worry about it, Amaris. Seriously. I meant it when I said those were _old_ fears-"

 

" _Ayr_ , I'm talking about the things it said about _Cullen_."

 

The redhead slumped then, caught. She let her head fall backwards and blew out a breath, shrugging wearily, "The first part... about being a 'past-time'... _that_ was an old fear, from before Halamshiral... but..."

 

"Have you _seen_ how he looks at you, Ayr?"

 

"I know, I know, and he's even said he feels more strongly for me then... I just... don't _you_ ever worry, Amaris?"

 

"I did, in the beginning, but not anymore." Amaris hooked an arm around her cousins shoulders, squeezing her gently, "It helps, when you can Feel each other, through the Bond."

 

"Mhm. I imagine it's handy." Ayr leaned against the blonde gratefully, sighing.

 

"You know... you _could_ Bond with Cullen, Ayr," Amaris rubbed circles on her shoulder, "I know you said you were hesitant to, before, but _now_ you've been together a bit longer, know each other better... maybe he'd go for it...?"

 

"Maybe..." Ayr mumbled, actually seeming to consider it before she sat up again, "I'd have to go over _all_ the details with him, though, and he's not a _mage_..."

 

"You'll figure it out." Amaris tugged her back over to kiss her forehead, a habit leftover from their days with the Clan, and then hopped down off the table, "Think about it, alright? We leave once everyone's ready in the morning."

 

"Thanks, Amaris. Goodnight."

 

"Goodnight, Ayr."

 

Amaris crossed to the nook Solas had prepared, meeting him halfway with a soft smile and knowing look. She sat up in the bedroll until Ayr had retreated to the one by Dorian and curled up, lying down and snuggling against Solas as much as she could.

 

_Goodnight, Vhenan,_ she whispered through their link, too tired to vocalise.

 

_Goodnight, Amaris,_ Solas whispered back.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It had taken every ounce of self control and training Cullen had to _not_ snap at the Agent who'd delivered the Inquisitor's instructions, knowing the man was only doing his job and wasn't at all responsible.

 

He also knew Amaris was just thinking of the men and their need to return to a safe place to crash, since most of Adamant was uninhabitable at the moment.

 

_Everyone is safe. The Inquisitor and her party will be staying at Adamant for the night and returning tomorrow; she instructed to have you take the men back to Skyhold._

 

Orders were orders, and much as Cullen would've liked to stay behind and make sure everyone was alright - to keep close to Ayr - he was the _Commander_ , and needed to lead the troops.

 

Not that he had slept a damn wink without Ayr in his arms, the bed feeling cold and far to _big_ without her there to share it.

 

No, Cullen hadn't slept; he'd spent the night going over reports and checking in on supplies instead, popping in on the companions who had returned with the men and making sure they, at least, were resting.

 

Come morning, he was distracted by his siblings, and grateful for it... until the topic turned to a certain redhead.

 

"Why didn't they come back last night with you?" Rosalie questioned when they sat down to eat breakfast in the main hall - a new tradition, since his family had been at the Keep - nearly _pouting_ as she loaded up her plate, "I miss Ayr! And Amaris and the others."

 

"Skyhold _is_ rather dull without Ayr," Mia mused, though she noted her brothers weariness and was more sympathetic then Rosalie, "I imagine they had their reasons, however."

 

"Amaris said they would be staying the night, and that was all," Cullen grumbled rather more roughly then intended, sighing, "I do not _like_ that they stayed, I will admit, but Amaris is Inquisitor; I must obey her orders."

 

"We'll be sure to make ourselves scarce when they return, Cullen," Branson promised innocently from his spot beside Mia, the two sharing a quick nod.

 

Rosalie - oblivious as always - swallowed her mouthful of food and _hmmmed_ "I hope they get back _early_ , I wanted to ask Ayr something!"

 

"Ayr will be _exhausted_ when she returns, Rose, we will need to let her _rest_ ," Mia informed the younger woman sternly, giving her the _look_ Cullen knew all-to-well from their younger days, "You can ask her whatever it is _tomorrow_."

 

Rosalie pouted but relented, and Cullen shot his sister a _thank you_ look, Mia nodding knowingly.

 

_Marry her, Cullen._ his sister's words from days before echoed in his mind later that night when he'd retreated to his office and sat _staring_ at the reports on his desk blankly - word had come that Amaris and party _were_ on their way back, slowly - taking up residence and rooting there firmly.

 

And while then, he'd brushed her off and said _to soon_ , now he let the thought sit, trying to picture it.

 

Honestly, he could picture it _far_ too easily. Marrying her, once Corypheus was defeated.

 

Settling down somewhere fairly quiet - staying at Skyhold with the rest, if Ayr wanted to, or moving closer to his siblings, he'd be fine with either.

 

Maybe adopting a Mabari, if they could find one, have a couple of kids...

 

Every other thought process in Cullen's mind came to a halt at the thought of Ayr pregnant and carrying his child, belly swelling and growing with life under his watchful care.

 

The Commander _jerked_ at his bodies reaction to that mental image - conjured far too easily by his yearning imagination - and his thoughts swiftly turned to the _task_ of impregnating her, of filling her with his seed and marking her, once and for all, as _his_.

 

_Calm down, Rutherford,_ Cullen cursed and ran his hand through his hair, glaring moodily down at the bulge making itself known through his breaches, _Of all the kinks to have, and now is **hardly** the time. You're in the middle of a War, for Makers sake._

But _after_ the War...

 

Cullen would be the first to admit that, if possible, he'd want a big family. He'd grown up with three siblings, and though they'd annoyed him at times, he'd always been grateful for their presence and support.

 

He'd given up on that dream for years - had given up on even having anyone _special_ in his life, after the events at the Circle all those years ago. Who would want to be _with_ him, let alone have _children_ with him?

 

And then he'd found Ayr - or rather, he supposed, _Ayr_ had found _him_.

 

But without knowing what _Ayr_ wanted, Cullen was left to hope.

 

_She loves you_ , a voice whispered in his mind, reminding, _She's been saying it all along, without you knowing. She wants you as much as you want her._

 

And oh, Maker, did he _want_ her. He'd wanted her since first realizing he was attracted to her, physically and emotionally, and he hadn't been kidding when he'd told her how close he was to losing control sometimes.

 

But it never seemed like the right time.

 

Halamshiral was, as Ayr had said, a palace of deception and lies, and not the right place.

 

Caer Bronach had been a strange place, and they'd been surrounded by unfamiliar soldiers and agents, sleeping on a converted couch; he could not, in good form, take her - _really_ take her - there.

 

There had not been time - and Cullen didn't know when there _would_ be time - for them to steal even a moment's peace together.

 

Even now, determined as he had been to stay up until she'd returned - dressed, even, in only his undershirt, breaches and boots, lest Ayr scold him for remaining in armor so late at night - Cullen found himself dozing off, the result of two nights with no sleep and very little food, succumbing to the lure of rest in the hopes that it would speed her return-

 

-only to _jolt_ awake when a door was opened and then slammed shut what felt like moments later and a familiar, teasing voice rang out, "Cullen Rutherford, _seriously_? You're sleeping in your _chair_ now?"

 

"I was waiting for you, I didn't mean to fall asleep," Cullen grumbled, rubbing at his eyes and trying to focus on her.

 

Ayr's voice softened and sounded slightly closer when she spoke next, "Aw, Cullen, you should have gone to _bed_ , though I'm happy you _tried_ to wait. Could've at least sat on the _couch_."

 

"Like I said, wasn't trying to sleep." Cullen blinked and scowled, scrubbing at his bleary eyes, "What _time_ is it?"

 

"Just after midnight, I think. We had to travel slowly because a couple of the agents were injured - no one in the main party, I swear - and just got back."

 

Just after midnight - which meant he'd been sleeping for about two hours. Better than nothing, at least.

 

"I'm glad you're back, I was beginning to worry-" Cullen's vision _finally_ came into focus and he blinked at her before _staring_ , startled, "What are you _wearing_?"

 

"Hmm? Oh!" Ayr laughed and did a little spin, cocking one hip when she returned to facing him, "My own armor got damaged while we were in the Fade - ruined, honestly - so the Wardens gave me this so I'd have _something_ to travel back to Skyhold in. Thoughts?"

 

Thoughts? He was supposed to be able to _think_ right now?

 

He'd _seen_ Warden Battle Mage armor before, _of_ course he had; Surana had worn similar, the last time he'd seen her, as had many of the Mages they'd seen at Adamant.

 

And while perhaps, that similarity may have bothered him once, all he could process right now was how the armor _clung_ to her.

 

Ayr's normal armor had been a gift from an Orlesian noble; she and Amaris had matching sets - hers black and red, Amaris' blue and silver - to commemorate the dragon they had slain.

 

The dragon slaying that had left Ayr weak and _sick_ afterwards and, while _yes_ , the armor had been strong and well made, it was also bulky, stocky, making the two elves look _much_ bigger than they were.

 

Cullen had hated it. Hated the reminder of the days she'd been ill, the way the noble had sneakily laid a claim on the Inquisitor and her cousin, hated how much it hindered Ayr's normally smooth movements.

 

The Warden Armor was anything _but_ stocky, meant for easy movement and versatility, strong but easy to move in.

 

And it clung to _every_ curve of Ayr's lithe body, hugging her hips and her bust, accentuating every smooth line and subtle dip.

 

Cullen _knew_ he was staring, but he couldn't bring himself to care, to enthralled with the sight of her in such armor, thoughts swiftly returning to the images and wants from earlier in the evening, to stripping that armor off of her right then and there...

 

Ayr noticed his silence and his staring and her expression turned to one of realization and _doubt_ , all teasing and confidence gone as she backed a step closer to the door. "Oh, you probably... Warden armor, too much like... s-sorry, Cullen, I'll go... get something from Amaris, or-"

 

She cut off and turned for the door, ready to bolt.

 

Cullen was on his feet instantly, catching her arm and tugging her back to look at him "Ayr, Vhenan, _that's not it_ , I wasn't staring because it _bothered_ me-" he caught the look on her face and froze, confused, "Ayr?"

 

"I'm sorry." Ayr was shaking, just slightly, and she'd clenched her eyes shut as though holding back tears, "I'm _sorry_ , Cullen, I'm just... I didn't..."

 

"Hey, shh, Ayr, talk to me." he had a hand on each of her arms now, rubbing to keep her grounded, keep her steady, "What _happened_ , in the Fade last night?"

 

"We faced... The Nightmare, a _Fear_ demon..." Ayr took a deep breath, shivering lessening some, "It... got into our _heads_ , vocalised... our fears. Mine... it said..."

 

Cullen waited patiently, still rubbing her arms, eyes locked on her face.

 

"I'm _scared_ ," Ayr finally whispered, green eyes opening to lock with concerned amber, "Scared that... I'm not _good enough_ for you, that... this is all a dream, and I'm going to wake up and you'll be _gone_."

 

"Ayr-"

 

"I couldn't... _bare_ that, Cullen, if... if I lost _you_ -!"

 

" _I feel the same way_." Cullen gave into the urge to crush her against his chest then, tucking her head beneath his and feeling her hands fist in the fabric of his shirt, squeezing her tightly, "Ayr, I worry every damn day that I'm going to wake up and none of this will be real. That I'm still at Ferelden's Circle, trapped in that damn force field, slowly losing my mind."

 

"But I'm not. _This isn't a dream._ We're real, both of us, and we're here, _together_. Whatever that demon said, _push it out_. Forget it. Because if anything, _I'm_ not good enough for _you_ , Ayr."

 

"Flatterer." Ayr mumbled into his chest, but her grip loosened a little, some of the tension leaving her, "I still feel like an idiot for wearing the Warden armor in here-"

 

"Ayr, Firecracker, you want to know why I was staring at you?" Cullen tipped her head up with a hand on her chin, eyes deepening to gold as he smirked, "I was thinking how much I wanted to strip it _off_ of you and _take_ you, sweetheart. About how much _better_ it suited you then that damn dragon armor, and how _desperate_ I could make you while _slowly_ undressing you."

 

Ayr's eyes widened and her cheeks went red, but Cullen felt her hands tightening on his shirt again, felt her shifting from foot to foot, and _pride_ flared at the fact that he'd banished those terrible thoughts from her mind, made her see that _he wanted her_ , desperately.

 

_Now. Ask her now, now, now! While it's just you, no one else around, no one to interrupt. DO IT!_

"Ayr..." Cullen cut off, swallowing thickly at the same time as she licked her lips, as she watched him with those eyes, green bright and aware and _right there, so close, just ask her!_

 

"Marry me."

 

"Bond with me."

 

They'd spoken at the same time, stopping and staring at each other in surprise and both turning red as the words sunk in, phrases different but the meaning the same.

 

Then a rush of immediate, potent _happiness_ washed over him, relief and excitement making him _laugh_ , arms tight around her waist as he bent forwards, scar pulling tight as their foreheads touched, "I'd say that's a _yes_ on both our parts."

 

"Yes." Ayr echoed, smile brilliant and eyes wide with happiness, " _Vin_ , Cullen, _yes, yes, yes!_ "

 

Ayr leaned up at the same time as he leaned down, lips meeting softly, tenderly, her arms sliding up to loop around his neck and pull him closer.

 

Cullen angled his head so he could deepen the kiss, hands moving from her waist to her hips, grip tightening when she pressed the length of her body flush against his and let her nails run along the back of his neck.

 

"Cullen," Ayr murmured against his lips, arching into him, "I _want-_ "

 

" _Yes_." Cullen growled back, one hand shifting down to her ass and _squeezing_ , tongue slipping into her mouth when she gasped. He nudged his leg between hers and _pressed_ up, feeling the heat of her core right through the armor and smirking wickedly when she _mewled_ and ground desperately against him.

 

" _Cullen_..." she was whining when he pulled away to press quick, needy kisses along her neck and ears, making _sure_ to hit that sensitive spot and making her _shudder_ in his hold, "I..."

 

"D'you like that, Firecracker?" he whispered into her skin, nipping and sucking, marking her even as he rocked his leg against her, lust spiking higher with every whimper and mewl that left her.

 

" _Yes_ , Vhenan," Ayr panted, nails _digging_ into the space between his shoulder blades and making him hiss, "But, just... so you... _know_... I've never... done... _this_..."

 

"Never?" Cullen repeated, still assaulting her neck with his lips.

 

"Never." she whispered, tilting her head to give him better access, "You're... my first for _everything_ , Cullen."

 

_That_ made his heart swell with affection, moving from her neck to give her a tender, loving kiss, one hand tangled in the scarlet curls he adored and the other now tight on her waist.

 

"Then let me _show you_ how much I want you, Vhenan," he murmured, "Let me love you; here, in our space, where it's just _us_."

 

" _Please_."

 

"Let's move _upstairs_ , Ayr, _before_ we get to far over our heads," Cullen pulled away and took her hands, leading her to the ladder and giving her a half-bow, "You first, Vhenan."

 

"Such a _gentleman_ ," Ayr purred, grabbing onto the ladder to start climbing.

 

"Don't get undressed yet, Vhenan. _I_ get to do that." Cullen smacked her ass for good measure when it was level with his shoulders, smirking at her _eep_! and startled look.

 

"Do _I_ get to strip _you_ then, Commander?" she murmured back, stoking his lust as she continued to climb.

 

"Whatever you desire, Ayr." he growled, starting up the moment she was clear and smoothly mounting the floor of the loft.

 

Ayr hadn't gone far - kicking her boots off and letting them fall haphazardly near the end of the bed - managing to shed her gloves before Cullen wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her in against his chest, trapping her there with a husky growl, "What did I _say_ about undressing, Ayr."

 

"I'd thought the boots were fair game, honestly," Ayr quipped back, pressing close and wiggling her ass against his erection, giggling breathily when Cullen all but _snarled_ and gripped her tighter, " _Someone's_ excited."

 

" _Minx_." Cullen turned her around so he could kiss her again, deep and demanding but also tender and affectionate, desperate but never wanting to hurt her.

 

Ayr was nearly boneless in his arms when he pulled away, eyes half closed and kiss-swollen lips parted, arms wrapped loosely around his neck.

 

The Commander lifted a hand to the buckle keeping the top piece of the armor closed - separate from the rest of the top, he realized now, pauldrons of a sort - and met her eyes, "May I, Vhenan?"

 

Ayr's lips curled in a sultry little smirk, eyes bright as she leaned slightly away to give him more room, "Undress me, Commander."

 

Permission granted, Cullen made quick work of the buckle - used to the type from his days with the Templars - and lifted both hands to push the armor back off her shoulders.

 

Ayr shrugged it off and let it slide down off her arms to the floor, _thumping_ as it landed and leaving her arms bare, the coat underneath short sleeved.

 

The Warden Armor consisted of more layers than her dragon armor had, but that was alright; Cullen rather _liked_ the way she bit her lip as he undid her belts and let them fall away, shivering as the waist-wrap and pouch slid away.

 

Cullen kicked his own boots off and away while working at the clasps keeping her coat closed, fumbling slightly as her skin was slowly bared through the gap in the garment, need only spiking higher as he undressed her.

 

Finally, the last clasp fell open, and Ayr rolled her shoulders and let the coat fall away, leaving her top half bare asides from the simple breast band she wore beneath and-

 

Even as his lust spiked higher, Cullen's eyes were drawn by the simple silver chain she wore, following it down to the pendent it held; intricate, woven wires surrounding-

 

His coin. She was wearing his coin.

 

"Dagna made the necklace for me." Ayr murmured, looking shy but pleased by his reaction, licking her lips and arching her chest closer to him, "You like?"

 

"I like." Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him, bending to kiss her again, slightly overwhelmed by the rush of emotions such a simple little thing had caused.

 

"Cullen..." Ayr whined against his mouth when he succeeded in untying her breast band and it fell away, her hands pulling at the bottom of his shirt, "Not _fair_ , Commander."

 

"Sorry, Firecracker," chuckling, Cullen allowed her to pull his shirt up, lifting his arms so she could pull it up and over his head and off, tossed somewhere behind her to join the rest of their clothes as he gathered her to his chest and claimed her lips again, "Better?"

 

" _Much_." Ayr pressed closer, naked breasts rubbing against his chest, and they both moaned, clinging to each other.

 

"We're not done yet, Vhenan," he managed to groan, pulling away and letting his hands settle at the waist of her breaches, eyes lingering for a long moment on her lovely breasts - petite but perky, complimenting her lithe form, and while he'd seen them before Cullen knew he would never grow tired of seeing them - before moving back to hers as he applied pressure, beginning to guide the pants down over her hips.

 

Fiery green and molten gold remained locked as she shimmied to help him get the material over her hips, sucking in a slightly startled breath when he hooked her smalls with his thumbs and pulled them away at the same time, baring her to him all the sooner.

 

Cullen silently motioned for her to step out of the breaches and smalls when he reached her ankles, tossing them carelessly away as he sat back on his haunches to look - really _look_ \- at her, _hunger_ rising potent and hot as he took in the perfection of her body.

 

It was not, he could see now, just Ayr's cheeks and shoulders that were spattered with freckles; it was her whole body. Her calves and her thighs, a couple of bands across her stomach, down her arms and - on closer inspection - around her sex as well, mostly hidden by the scarlet curls that guarded her most secret place.

 

Ayr was lithe, as most elves were, but there was strength in her thighs, in her arms, toned from years of using a staff and living with the Dalish. Her hips were small but curved, breasts rising and falling with every steady, excited breath, and her sex...

 

Trying not to startle her but needing to touch her, Cullen hooked one hand around her leg and let the other settle on her ass, bringing her closer even as he leaned in, breathing in the heady scent of her arousal and nuzzling against the soft curls, half convinced, even now, that he was dreaming.

 

Ayr _shuddered_ when he pressed a kiss to her mound, hands finding his hair and tangling in the blonde curls, and Cullen had the briefest thought that their kids would be doomed to have curly hair before she was _pulling_ , gently, drawing his attention back to her face.

 

"Cullen." she mumbled, eyes hazy with desire and her voice a throaty purr that had him hardening further, " _You_ are still wearing _far_ too many clothes, Vhenan."

 

"I suppose you're right." Cullen nuzzled her once more, addicted to the scent of her, before rising smoothly to his feet, hands mapping the curves of her body as he went.

 

"My turn..." Ayr swatted his hands away and worked at the laces holding his breaches on, the pants doing _nothing_ to conceal the aching erection demanding attention. Still, she made a triumphant noise when she finished unlacing them, moving to pull them down his hips.

 

Ayr pulled the same trick as he had - hooking her thumbs in his smalls and pulling them down as one - though she was slower in her motions, freeing him inch by inch before finally stripping them down his legs, allowing his cock to rise hard and ready between them.

 

Cullen stepped out of the pile of material and kicked it aside absently, attention fixed on the woman knelt before him, her curious gaze locked on the part of his body that ached desperately for her.

 

"I've never seen..." Ayr mumbled, licking her lips, and Cullen swallowed a growl at the unintentionally provocative action.

 

"I hope it meets your expectations, Ayr," he returned throatily, still watching her, wondering what her opinion was.

 

He had never 'measured up' against other men to compare sizes - no matter how often it had happened in the barracks with the Templars - had never thought to care before. Now he only hoped he wouldn't disappoint the one woman whose opinion mattered.

 

"You _exceed_ my expectations, Commander," Ayr assured him, smiling softly, "You're gorgeous, Cullen."

 

Cullen was struck momentarily speechless, once more taken aback by the fact that this wonderful woman was _his_.

 

Then Ayr's smile turned wicked, looking up at him from beneath her lashes as she leaned closer, breath ghosting over the tip of his cock, "Though... I do believe I will be quite _sore_ come the morning, Commander. In the _best_ of ways."

 

Lust flaring and cock _jerking_ at her words and her breath, Cullen couldn't take it anymore, "C'mere, Firecracker."

 

Ayr rose smoothly to her feet, moaning in delight when he snagged her around the waist and pulled her flush against him, cock pressing to her belly and her breasts rubbing against his chest.

 

Much as he wanted to take her right then, right there, Cullen was determined to make the experience special, to take care of her. This was her first time _ever_ , and _their_ first time, together. He would not rut her like an animal.

 

"The _bed_ , Vhenan." he rumbled, kissing her softly before gently turning them around and directing her backwards.

 

Ayr nodded and leaned up to prolong the kiss for a moment before backing away from him, green eyes bright and mischievous as she watched him, the urge to _pounce_ rising even as he fought to follow slowly, purposely, a predator stalking his prey.

 

Except that Ayr was no timid little Halla, escaping from a Lion; she was a Lioness, made to match him, and that was clear in every deliberate sway of her hips, every tiny little sound and movement she made.

 

She paused when her knees hit the edge of the bed, and Cullen stepped forwards to tower over her, guiding her to sit down and lay back, stopping her from scooting further up the bed and dropping to his knees between her spread legs.

 

"Cullen...?" Ayr lifted herself onto her elbows and frowned down at him, confusion warring with desire in her eyes.

 

"I want to _taste_ you, Vhenan," Cullen mumbled against her thigh, pressing a kiss there and keeping his eyes locked with hers, seeing the startled shock of want that shot through her at his words, "May I...?"

 

Ayr swallowed and nodded, legs trembling a little as he gently pushed them further apart so he could scoot closer to her, at just the _right_ height to be eye level with that secret part of her body.

 

Cullen went slowly, moving forwards to press a trail of kisses along her inner thigh, pausing to admire her sex - pink and glistening with arousal, quivering with every unsteady breath she took - before leaning in and gently kissing her moist lips, grip tightening to keep her in place when her hips bucked at the touch.

 

Emboldened, Cullen nuzzled her tenderly before running the flat of his tongue along her seam, pressing harder when she mewled and bucked above him, addicted already to the taste of her.

 

He shifted, running a finger over her before pressing it inwards, stroking as he circled her swollen bud with his lips and _sucked_ , gently, Ayr's breath catching on a strangled moan.

 

Cullen let her adjust before adding a second finger, pumping languidly as he suckled her clit, loving the needy whines and desperate jerks of her hips, needing _more_.

 

Ayr _gasped_ and arched off the bed when he added a third finger and pressed _deep_ , tongue swirling around the little bud; she rolled her hips desperately against him, whimpering and whining.

 

" _Cullen_..." his name was barely a strangled whisper, her movements more jerky, and he thrust faster, suckled harder, knowing she was close and wanting to bring her over the edge.

 

Locking his lips around her clit he _hummed_ against the swollen flesh and Ayr _shrieked_ , flailing as she came, Cullen rumbling in approval and eagerly lapping up her nectar.

 

Withdrawing his fingers and pressing a last loving kiss to her quivering sex, Cullen rose to his feet and couldn't help the swell of pride at her undone state, green eyes hazy with pleasure and chest rising and falling with panting breaths.

 

"You... are _far_ too good at that." Ayr managed to pant, lifting her arms to beckon him to her.

 

"Can't say I've _practiced_ , so I'm glad you approve," Cullen crawled willingly over her, not _quite_ touching her as he bent to kiss her.

 

"Natural talent, huh? _Mmm..._ " Ayr opened her mouth at his prodding, moaning at the taste of herself on his tongue, "Creators, Cullen..."

 

"You taste like _sin_ , Firecracker," he rumbled against her mouth, hunger returning as she purred beneath him, arching so that his cock brushed against her belly.

 

" _Please_..."

 

"Scoot back, Ayr. I would have you be comfortable for this."

 

The redhead did as told, shifting back until her head was against the pillows, stretched fully beneath him with her arms stretched out and legs spread.

 

Cullen followed and settled above her, spreading her legs wider and urging her to curl them back around his thighs, a hand on the bed beside her head to steady himself and the other coming to stroke her cheek affectionately.

 

"If I do anything you don't like, or I hurt you, _tell me_." he commanded gently.

 

Ayr nodded, reaching up to mirror his action and stroking her thumb over his scar, "I don't know... if I can manage a full Bonding, like..." she paused, swallowing, "But... if you feel magic, Cullen, _don't resist it_. Trust me."

 

" _Always_ , Vhenan." Cullen swore, bending to kiss her again, reassuring her.

 

Ayr returned the kiss for a moment before dropping her hand and whispering " _Please_."

 

Arousal spiking again, Cullen pulled back, shifting and reaching down to line himself up, pressing the blunt head of his cock to her quivering slit.

 

Ayr swallowed thickly and gripped the blankets at her sides tightly, eyes locked with his as she nodded once more, giving him permission.

 

Slowly, carefully, Cullen began to push in, watching her face for any sign of pain, catching her sharp intake of breath when he first slipped between her folds, the quiver to her legs as he sank slowly - _slowly, gently_ \- deeper.

 

No matter how much he wanted to give in and sink fully into her, Cullen restrained himself, caring more for her pleasure then his own, pausing with barely an inch pressed into her to _check_ , "Ayr, are you-"

 

" _Please keep going._ " Ayr whispered back, rolling her hips just enough to pull him further in, gasping and eating further at his control.

 

Gritting his teeth, Cullen gripped her hips to keep her still and slid slowly, smoothly forwards, her body parting for him with ease, gripping him tighter the further he sank.

 

Cullen _groaned_ when their hips finally met, reveling in the feeling of being so deep inside of her, cock sheathed fully in her tight, welcoming heat, pausing just to take it all in.

 

Ayr's head was thrown back against the pillows, grip on the sheets a near strangle-hold, and her chest rose and fell with hard, panting breaths, her sex gripping and quivering around him.

 

" _Ayr_..." Cullen pulled back just a touch and then sank back in, _hissing_ at the way she gripped him, "Makers _breath_ , Ayr, you are _perfect_..."

 

" _Cullen_ , _please_." she whimpered, rolling her hips against him and whining as he slid deeper, " _Vhenan_."

 

"As you wish, Vhenan," gripping her hips, Cullen pulled back - almost to the tip, not quite leaving her body - and then slid back in, grunting at the wave of pleasure that hit him, knowing he wasn't along when Ayr wailed and tried to match his movement.

 

He tried to move slow, at first; to build her pleasure up, bring her as high as he possibly could, thrusting _deep_ , hands braced on the bed at either side of her shoulders.

 

It was only when Ayr's arms wrapped around his neck and her legs crossed over his ass, _yanking_ him down into a biting kiss and taking him fully inside of her, whispering " _Harder_ , Cullen.", that Cullen's careful control _snapped_.

 

Growling in response, Cullen _snapped_ his hips back and forth, plunging into her with every thrust and running the full length of his cock against her with every movement.

 

Ayr cried out and arched against him, hips bucking to meet his, nails digging in between his shoulder blades to spur him on.

 

He was so far gone - wracked by pleasure and the feel of her around him, the sounds she made - that Cullen almost didn't register when she started to babble, at first thinking it was gibberish but slowly realizing it was Elvhen.

 

It was lilting, and likely would have sounded poetic, had he the patience to focus on it. Instead, the rising pitch of her voice as she fought through whatever words she was saying only heightened his need, the desperate want to bring her over the edge, to tumble together.

 

Then Cullen felt something grazing over his skin - gentle strokes, warm and familiar, like the threads of an old, comforting blanket - and realized it was her _magic_ , tangible and responding to her words, to the stream of Elvhen rushing past her lips.

 

_Trust me_. she'd begged.

 

_Always_ , he vowed, opening himself to the warmth of her magic even as he felt his end rushing nearer.

 

The streams sunk into his skin, warm and tingly and _Ayr, all Ayr_ , and suddenly something _snapped_ into place, and he could _feel_ her.

 

Not just _physically_ , beneath him and around him, but _emotionally_ , a stream of emotions hitting him out of nowhere, love and desire and hunger and _happiness_ , overflowing happiness.

 

" _Cullen_ -!" Ayr switched back to common suddenly, _gasping_ and clutching at the sheets again, legs clenching desperately around him, "I'm... I-I think I-!"

 

"Let it happen." Cullen growled, bending to kiss her as he moved _faster_ , harder, racing them _both_ to the edge, " _Come_ for me, Ayr, _Vhenan_. My _wife_."

 

Cullen shifted his hips and hit something inside her with his next thrust that had her _screaming_ as she shattered beneath him, body arching as her release took her.

 

Her walls clamping down on him was enough to throw Cullen over the edge after her, near _roaring_ as he gave one last thrust before holding himself deep inside of her, filling her with his seed.

 

Neither moved for several long seconds, both panting to catch their breath and regain control over their lose limbs.

 

Finally, Cullen opened his eyes - he hadn't realized he'd closed them - to stare tenderly down at the exhausted elf beneath him, her skin flushed and damp with sweat, mouth open to pant for breath.

 

Ayr's eyes fluttered open after he'd watched her for a moment, green hazy and happy, lips curling into an affectionate grin when she caught him watching.

 

"Cullen." Ayr murmured, lifting her hand to cup his cheek again, "Vhenan. I love you."

 

"I love you." Cullen echoed, bending to kiss her tenderly, "And I believe... that we are Bonded, Vhenan."

 

"I don't even know what I was saying, it kind of just... happened." Ayr was blushing, but she held his gaze, even when he pulled reluctantly from her body so he could lay down and pull her to his chest, "But... I could feel you. Your emotions."

 

"And I could feel yours." Cullen nuzzled his nose against hers, tucking her close and pulling the blanket they kept at the end of the bed over them, "No more doubting."

 

"No more doubting." Ayr agreed, sighing happily against his chest, "And... the answer is still yes, Cullen."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I want to marry you, too. To be _recognized_ by _every_ Race, not just Elves." Ayr blinked innocently up at him, "Let's just... wait a while. Let Amaris and Solas have their heyday... defeat Corypheus first."

 

"I agree. Though I'm dying to see you in a wedding gown, Ayr," Cullen held her closer, a possessiveness rising, " _My_ Bonded. My wife."

 

"My Cullen." Ayr murmured as sleep took her, curled safely in the Commander's arms.

 

"Your Cullen." he agreed, following swiftly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Thoughts? Opinions? HOPEFULLY IT WAS OKAY AND I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE THINGS THROWN AT ME??
> 
> I'm happy. My babies are happy <3 Mostly. (I SWEAR TO GOD SOLAS ACTUALLY TELLS HER THINGS HE'S NOT LYING ARG)
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! <3


	13. Bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Ayr enjoy their new-found closeness.
> 
> Amaris' suspicions about the Elvhen grow.
> 
> And talk of the Future comes around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Shorter chapter this time, but it's more a transition chapter then anything.
> 
> SMUT AHOY AT THE BEGINNING because I give up and the muses do what they want, sigh.
> 
> Overall, HAPPY WITH THIS CHAPTER! Perhaps a bit faster paced then necessary, but I am really trying to focus mostly on the characters themselves and not so much the events and killing and RAWR DEMONS.
> 
> Anyways. THIS IS NOW CREEPING CLOSE TO 1000 HITS HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN. TO CELEBRATE, I am going to start working on Lion and the Halla :D THE FIRST CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED ONCE THIS HITS 1000 <3
> 
> ENJOY!

Ayr woke to darkness, blinking and squinting in the sparse light coming in the windows.

 

It was still early; judging by the light, they'd only been asleep maybe four hours, and wouldn't need to be up for several yet.

 

So why was she awake?

 

Muttering and shifting behind her caught Ayr's attention and made her sit up, twisting around to face Cullen, "Cullen?"

 

His eyes were clenched shut, beads of sweat running down his brow, and he continued to mutter under his breath and shake his head, legs kicking at some invisible threat and hands gripping at something.

 

_He's having a Nightmare_. Ayr realized, turning more fully and shifting closer, _That's what woke me up._

 

His sleep had been better since they'd started sharing a bed, Cullen had told her, but it seemed the demons were haunting him once more tonight. Perhaps because of Adamant, and the night's he hadn't been able to sleep and she'd been away.

 

"Cullen..." Ayr didn't want to wake him, but she reached out to cup his cheek and smooth her thumb over his scar, whispering, "It's just dreams, Cullen. Push them away."

 

He seemed to calm slightly at her touch, turning towards her hand with a mumbled " _Ayr_..."

 

"I'm here, Vhenan," Ayr leaned down to kiss him gently, glad when he settled further at the touch, "Sleep well, Cullen."

 

He seemed deeply, calmly asleep then, no more kicking or muttering, and Ayr sat back up to look at him. _Really_ look at him, like she hadn't gotten a chance to before, aided by the fact that he'd kicked the covers _completely_ off during his tossing and turning.

 

Ayr hadn't been lying when she'd told him he was gorgeous the night before; Cullen was all sharp lines and muscle, not a trace of fat on him.

 

He had multiple scars, remnants of the battles he'd fought in, and most of his body was dusted with golden curls, slightly thicker on his chest and just above his shaft, the length of which lay long and heavy against his thigh even when flaccid.

 

Ayr's gaze zeroed in on that part of his body unintentionally, swallowing thickly at the memory of how perfectly he'd _filled_ her, the sweet stretch and completion she'd felt with him inside of her.

 

He had taken care of her, _pampered_ her, and her body heated at the thought of him waking and taking her again, over and over, however he liked, so long as she could have that lovely _fullness_ again.

 

_Let the man **sleep** , Ayr. He is likely **exhausted**._

 

Dragging her gaze away from Cullen Ayr turned towards the windows, rolling her shoulders and stretching her arms above her head, arching her back to get out the little kinks she could feel lingering from the night at Adamant.

 

She let out a breath and a quiet _eep!_ when hands circled her hips, shuddering when he pressed a kiss between her shoulder blades and nuzzled her with his nose.

 

"Where are you going, Vhenan?" Cullen rumbled huskily against her skin, grip on her tight despite the sleepy haze to his voice.

 

"Just stretching," Ayr murmured back, turning to look at him over her shoulder, "I didn't mean to wake you, Cullen."

 

"I was not sleeping well anyways; though I think I have you to thank for the nightmares fleeing as though being chased..." Cullen pressed another kiss to her skin before sitting straight and pulling her against him, eyes glowing gold in the darkness, "I do not mind when _you_ wake me, Ayr."

 

"You need your rest, Commander," Ayr chided softly, though she was unable to deny him when he bent to kiss her, a tender touch that drew her further into his embrace and made that vivid _happiness_ flare again.

 

Then his arm wrapped around her waist to pull her flush against him, moaning at the feel of his now rigid cock against her thigh, whimpering when he deepened the kiss with an easy slant of his head.

 

" _Cullen_..." Ayr whined when he ground against her, feeling a responding ache begin to throb between her legs, growing with every touch.

 

"I want you again, Ayr." Cullen mumbled, pulling back to watch her with golden eyes, pupils blown-out with lust.

 

"Then take me." Ayr lifted her hand to his cheek, knowing her eyes were reflecting his want, "I'm yours, Cullen. Always."

 

"As I am yours, Firecracker."

 

The Commander shifted, carefully manoeuvring them so they were lying down facing each other, similar to how they normally slept.

 

Ayr let him lead, unsure of the position and more comfortable with him in charge. She curled her left arm against her chest and draped her right over his hip, lifting her right leg and wrapping it loosely around his ass at his urging.

 

Ayr blushed and shivered a little when he shuffled closer and pressed his own leg between hers to help keep her spread, cock sliding easily into the space and resting teasingly against the moist lips of her sex.

 

Cullen straightened his right arm out so it lay beneath her head, his left sliding between them to take hold of his shaft and guide the head slowly inside of her, pausing once he'd slipped between her folds to whisper "Okay?"

 

"Always." she answered, leg tightening over his ass when he pressed deeper, stretching and filling her, a pleasured sigh escaping when he'd buried himself to the hilt, "Oh, _Cullen_..."

 

"You are-" Cullen gripped her hip tightly, bending so their foreheads were pressed together, " _Maker's breath_ , Ayr. I have _never_ felt anything like this."

 

"I love you." Ayr whispered, overwhelmed and so very _happy_ , "Ar lath ma, Vhenan."

 

"I love you." Cullen echoed, kissing her as he gripped her leg and pulled her tighter against him, circling his hips and grinding against her.

 

It was a harder position to move in, but Ayr loved the close intimacy of it, rocking languidly against each other and slowly stoking their fires, kissing and touching and learning as they moved.

 

Ayr could feel her release building - feel the ball of tension building again in her belly, tight and hot and needy - but the gentle rocking wasn't enough to break it, to bring her to completion.

 

Cullen must have been thinking the same; he lifted himself so he was half above her, kneeling while holding Ayr in the same position, gripping her hips so he could begin thrusting in earnest.

 

The languid, slow burn gave way to wild-fire in the face of his passionate assault, Ayr gripping the sheets and biting her lip as she tried to match his movements, feeling the coil come _so close_ to bursting, _almost_...

 

Then Cullen shifted his angle - twisted his hips, lifted her leg higher, _something_ \- and hit something that made her _shatter_ instantly, wailing as she came, body shaking from the force of it.

 

Cullen renewed his pace before cursing unintelligibly and sinking _deep_ , groaning as his seed filled her in a rush of warmth.

 

Ayr watched him with half-lidded eyes, panting even as exhaustion crept up on her, smiling when he managed to open his own again and opening her arms to beckon him to her.

 

Scar pulled tight when he mirrored her smile, Cullen sank slowly against her, shifting to pull from her body and pausing when she shook her head.

 

"I like having you inside me," she murmured sleepily, arms wrapping loosely around his back as he took the hint and settled gently atop her, slipping his own arms beneath and around her back.

 

"I think... I can sleep now." Cullen mumbled against her chest, breathing evening out almost before he'd finished the words.

 

"Good night, Vhenan." Ayr responded, her own eyes slipping closed as she followed him.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Getting dressed, Ayr discovered the next morning, was now going to be _much_ more difficult than before.

 

Cullen had retrieved a small water basin from the Keeps kitchens, and they'd cleaned themselves off with the cloths and towels Ayr kept in her personal stash.

 

Then Ayr had set to getting dressed - working her way back into the Warden armor, retrieving pieces of it as she went - and Cullen's liking of her in it began to get in the way.

 

Or rather, his preference for stripping it _off_ of her.

 

"Cullen!" Ayr batted his hands away as she pulled her pants on and shot him a look, moving to grab her belts, "We need to get _dressed_."

 

"And why is that, Firecracker?" Cullen followed her and pulled her against him when she stood up again, trapping her hands between their chests and slipping his hands beneath her pants to cup her bottom.

 

"Because." she hissed out the word, resisting the lure of his touch and stepping resolutely away from him, " _You_ are needed in the War Room, Commander. Ringing any bells?"

 

"Not till later." he chuckled, ghosting his hand over her waist as she passed him in her search for her breast band, "Why the hurry, Vhenan?"

 

" _Because_ , I'm supposed to meet Dorian and the others down at the stables." Ayr make a triumphant noise when she located her breast band and set about tying it in place, _knowing_ he was watching her every movement and consciously avoiding his eyes, "Now where's that tunic..."

 

"And _where_ , pray tell, are you off to today?" Cullen's voice had taken a slightly displeased tone, not liking that he wasn't in the know of her plans.

 

"Oh, we're just - aha, there you are! - raiding Sahrnia Quarry." Ayr grabbed the tunic and worked at pulling it on and doing it up, "Gotta take care of those Red Templars, y'know?"

 

"You're raiding the Quarry?" Cullen paused in sneaking up behind her - fully intending to distract her further - to stare in surprise, "When did you...?"

 

"Those letters of Sampson's, remember? They pointed to the Quarry, but we haven't had the chance to go raid it yet." Ayr finished doing her tunic up and turned to grin at him, "We were talking about it last night, and a few of us decided to go and take care of it today. Me, Dorian, Cassandra and Varric are going."

 

"You're sure you're up to it?" Cullen gave in to the temptation to pull her close again, though this time it was meant only as a reassurance, "You just got back..."

 

"We thought it best we get it over with." Ayr smiled at his concern and leaned up to kiss him, "I feel like we're getting close to facing Sampson, and I'd rather take his armor out before then."

 

"Although I agree, I know you'd worried you'd be rather... _sore_ this morning."

 

"I _am_ sore." Ayr's smile turned mischievous, kissing him again before pulling away to find her pauldrons, "But it's a _good_ sore, and I'm not going to let it keep me from kicking red Templar ass."

 

"I love you." Cullen chuckled, shaking his head affectionately, "Do what you must, Firecracker. Stay safe, and keep me updated if you can."

 

"Of _course_ , Commander. And _you'd_ best get ready for your War Meeting," Ayr pulled the pauldrons on and did them up, shrugging them into place and wrinkling her nose, "I'll have to look into getting some new armor made, though this will have to do for now..."

 

Idea sparking, Cullen grinned and crossed to steal one last kiss, hand on her chin to lengthen the contact, "So long as it keeps you safe, love."

 

"Mhm." Ayr pulled away after a long moment and winked, striding to the ladder and stepping down onto the top rung, "See you in a couple of days, Cullen!"

 

She slid down immediately, and Cullen listened to her gather her staff and head out before beginning to dress himself.

 

He did, after all, have a War Meeting to get to.

 

_After_ a short side trip to the Undercroft...

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"If this place once had a name, it has long been lost. I call it the Crossroads."

 

Morrigan's voice echoed through the area, though Amaris was only half listening.

 

She strode curiously forwards, looking around at everything; the blue fog that surrounded the place, the dark mirrors and strange statues, paths and connections and roadways that seemed...

 

...familiar. Vaguely, as though from memories or dreams, from days long past.

 

Morrigan was still speaking, but Amaris found she knew the words before she said them; that this was where all Eluvian's crossed.

 

"The Ancient Elves left no roads, only ruins hidden in far flung corners. _This_ is how they travelled between them."

 

"Most of the mirrors are dark," Amaris observed, turning in slow circles as she walked, "Broken?"

 

"Or corrupted, yes; regardless, they are unusable. As for the rest... a _few_ can be opened from this side, but only a few."

 

"What of the others?"

 

"They can only be opened from beyond. With a _key_."

 

"And you _have_ a key?"

 

"The key can be many things. Each Eluvian is different."

 

"And Corypheus wants this." Amaris scowled, realization dawning, "Because it's close to the Fade, and with enough power... he could tear down the walls. Enter the Fade in the flesh, as he meant to do with the Anchor."

 

"I will admit, Inquisitor, your knowledge surprises me," Morrigan was watching her curiously, "Even for an Elf, you know more then I would expect."

 

"I do tend to surprise people." Amaris acknowledged, though privately she wondered if the knowing was her own or a result of the Bond, some deep knowledge that Solas kept to himself.

 

"Corypheus aims for the Eluvian in the Arbor Wilds; he learned of it as I did. He marshals the last of his forces to reach it."

 

"Then we must reach it first."

 

Morrigan nodded, backing up towards the Eluvian they'd come from, leading her back, "You have made him desperate, Inquisitor. We must work together to stop him, and soon."

 

The woman disappeared through the Eluvian, and Amaris paused for a moment, taking another look around before following after and re-emerging in the hidden room of Skyhold.

 

Morrigan had already taken her leave of the area - likely eager to return to her son - and Amaris strode swiftly towards the Main Hall, following the distant buzz she felt through the Bond.

 

The War meeting had mostly been taken care of, and she could feel annoyance and concern vibrating from Solas, and needed to find out what had happened.

 

He was, she found, in the main courtyard with Cole, and she wondered what in Thedas the spirit had been up to now even as she descended the steps towards them.

 

_There will be time later to mention the Eluvian to him._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"So, _Varric_ ," Dorian drawled, eyeing the Dwarf as they road back across Skyhold's bridge days later, wearing that smirk that meant he was up to no good, "Are you and _Cassandra_...?"

 

"What? _No_!" Varric nearly stammered in his rush to reply, looking incredibly petulant, "Why would you even _ask_ that?!"

 

"Truly? Hmm." Dorian pouted, looking incredibly perturbed, " _Bizarre_."

 

"I'm _right_ here!" Cassandra all but growled from behind them, though Ayr would almost _swear_ her cheeks were pink.

 

" _See_? She's _right there_! What are you _waiting_ for?"

 

"Just because two people argue all the time doesn't mean they're about to _kiss_ , Sparkler." Varric grumbled, though even _he_ looked slightly red in the face.

 

"Not according to your books." Dorian quipped, earning a growl from the Dwarf.

 

"Don't mistake me for that _hack_ that wrote _Hard in Hightown II._ I can _spell_."

 

Ayr snickered, then caught the look Dorian was giving her and _snorted_ , "Don't even _think_ about using _me_ as an example, Dorian."

 

"That reminds me," Varric sounded suddenly _giddy_ as they rode inside Skyhold, aiming for the stables, "How'd you like that _book_ I gave you, Firecracker?"

 

"I wanted to _punch_ you when I first started reading it, Varric," Ayr grumbled, cheeks heating at the reminder of the Erotica currently hiding in her chest in the loft, "Though I'll admit I _do_ want to see how it ends... eventually."

 

"Eventually?"

 

"When I can sneak it out _without_ Cullen seeing. _He_ may still punch you."

 

"What book?" Cassandra questioned as they dismounted, earning a chuckle from Varric.

 

"Don't ask, Seeker, trust me. Just _don't ask."_

 

Ayr didn't hear whatever Cassandra's answer was, in too much of a hurry to dismount her Hart and pass her off to the weary Stable hand, giving Dorian a quick hug before hurrying off to the Tower.

 

Cullen was _exactly_ where she'd knew he'd be - standing behind his desk going over the reports and letters they'd sent ahead of them, so that they could get things rolling more quickly - looking up and breaking into a wide grin when she entered.

 

Ayr was across the room and in his arms without a seconds wait, _shrieking_ with laughter when he lifted her and spun her around in a quick circle, nuzzling into the fur of his mantle when her feet touched the ground again, " _Someone's_ happy I'm back."

 

"You have _no idea_." Cullen bent his head to kiss her, Ayr humming and returning the touch eagerly.

 

"Did you get the reports?" she mumbled against him, at peace now that he was within arm's reach.

 

"I did. We _have_ him, or Maddox, at least." Cullen looked positively _smug_ when he pulled back, "We have his location, Ayr; we can storm his gates. I'd have us leave _now_ , if I could."

 

" _Tomorrow_ , Cullen. We'll storm his gates _tomorrow_." Ayr took his hands and walked backwards, leading him pointedly to the couch, "What's been happening, while we were gone?"

 

"Well, there was a slight _issue_ with Bull and the Chargers - everything's fine, they're alright, it was taken care of - and it turns out our resident Warden is not quite what he seems. You see..."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"This is it. Everyone, be ready."

 

The Shrine of Dumont - Sampson's hiding place - was eerily quiet as the group entered the front gates, left open and unbarred.

 

It seemed, in fact, that the courtyard was _prepared_ for an ambush, with crates forming blockades and Red Templars slightly visible behind them.

 

"I think someone alerted them, Cullen," Ayr whispered at his side, staff at the ready, "We may be too late."

 

"Let us hope there is still something to be found."

 

They stepped forward as one, all of them ready, and it was Ayr who launched the first attack, a fire barrage that knocked down the two red Templars closest to them.

 

Then everyone joined in.

 

It was thrilling, Cullen had to admit, to be back in the thick of things, to actually be _fighting_ on the front lines and not just _Commanding_ from behind.

 

Even more so, it was a thrill to fight at Ayr's side.

 

He'd seen her fight from a distance, seen her spar with Amaris, but fighting _with_ her was completely different.

 

They moved as a pair, almost circling each other, Cullen cutting down the enemies that drew close while Ayr assaulted those at a distance.

 

Cullen dove to block an arrow aimed at her belly, and Ayr cast a barrier that kept several spells from making contact.

 

They fought together, protected each other, and slowly made their way inwards, companions helping take down the Behemoth that appeared at the top of the stairs and gathering around them as they neared the entrance.

 

"They sacked the place before _we_ could," Ayr growled as she showered another group of enemies with lightning strikes, sticking close to his side.

 

"There may still be _something_ here, we'd better check."

 

They fought their way through to the very back room, pushing open the heavy doors and stepping inside.

 

No more enemies assaulted them, but Cullen spotted a familiar man sitting quietly on the ground near the back, his gaze locking onto Ayr as they approached.

 

"Inquisi- ah, no, you're the other one, lady Lavellan."

 

"You _know_ me?" Ayr questioned, confused.

 

"It's Maddox, Sampson's Tranquil," Cullen knelt at the man's side, scowling, "Something's wrong, let's send for the healers."

 

"That would be a waste, Knight Captain Cullen," Maddox - calmly, emotionless as all Tranquil were - spoke, gaze wavering as he watched them, "I drank my entire supply of Blightcap essence. It won't be long now."

 

Ayr winced, "We only wanted to ask you questions, Maddox."

 

"Yes. That is what I could not allow. I destroyed the camp with fire. We all agreed it was best. Our deaths ensured Sampson had time to escape."

 

"You threw your lives away... for _Sampson_? _Why_?"

 

"Sampson saved me even before he needed me. He gave me purpose again. I... wanted to help..."

 

Maddox' head slumped even as his words trailed away, eyes closing as he breathed his last.

 

Cullen only shook his head, standing and turning to Ayr, "We should... check the camp. Maddox may have missed something."

 

"We should give him a proper burial." Ayr murmured, expression torn.

 

"We will. After we've finished here."

 

Ayr nodded, instructing their companions to look around.

 

They found a few things - spotless Lyrium bottles, notes from Sampson - most importantly being a somewhat broken set of tools, likely the ones Maddox had used to maintain Sampson' armor.

 

"Let's hope Dagna can make sense of them." Cullen passed them to Ayr to tuck away, giving in to the need to hook an arm around her waist and walk side-by-side as they left the Shrine, burning away behind them, "And that this madness will soon be at an end."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

When Solas' entered their chambers late that evening, Amaris _hummed_ and smiled at the reflection in her mirror, "They did it."

 

"Did what, Vhenan?" Solas questioned, though she could see his knowing grin and knew he simply wanted verbal confirmation.

 

"Ayr and Cullen. They're Bonded." Amaris continued to run her brush through her hair, noting that she would need to have it cut soon, "The night we came back from Adamant. Though from what Ayr tells me, it is not quite as strong as _our_ Bond."

 

"It would not be, as Cullen is not a mage," Solas agreed, crossing the room to stand behind her, watching her movements, "I had wondered if it were possible, with the Commander's aversion to magic, but I am happy they were able to complete it. A testament to your cousins strength."

 

"Mhm. It helped that Cullen has _no_ aversions to anything that has to do with _Ayr_ , I imagine."

 

"To true." Solas settled his hands on her shoulders then, kneading and massaging, making her sigh and lull her head, "You mentioned earlier that you know where Corypheus is headed next, Vhenan, though we were busy assisting Cole."

 

"Yes. There is a Temple of Mythal in the Arbor Wilds, and that is where he is headed."

 

Solas' hands paused for a moment before continuing their massage, "Indeed?"

 

"Mhm. She said he intends to claim the Eluvian there, to gain access to the Crossroads and the Fade. We need to beat him there."

 

Amaris was watching him carefully in the mirror, the subtle changes in his expression and slight shift in his posture, the stream of emotions she could read from him.

 

She couldn't quite tell what the emotions were - a jumble of confusion and knowing and worry and something _else_ \- but she paid attention regardless, setting her brush down silently and waiting for his response.

 

"Eluvian's... are rare these days, though they were common during the height of the Elvhen Empire." Solas spoke carefully, with a knowing no modern elf could have, "Should he gain access to such a thing... we must not let that happen, Amaris. The utter destruction he could cause..."

 

"We'll stop him, Solas." Amaris murmured quietly, feeling _trust_ join the rush of emotions as he stopped massaging and simply squeezed her shoulders, touch gentle.

 

"Did Morrigan say anything _else_?" he enquired.

 

"No. She seemed rather in a hurry to return to Kieren, honestly."

 

"Ah, yes. I would not have taken her for the mothering type, but she seems to take the role quite seriously."

 

"People will surprise you." Amaris smiled then, the tension broken - it was not, it seemed, yet the proper _time_ \- and tilted her head, "Ayr, for example. I would swear she never wanted kids, and yet she admitted today that she _wants_ a family with Cullen."

 

"She will find Cullen _quite_ amenable," Solas chuckled, "As I _know_ the Commander would prefer a large family."

 

Amaris had spent several hours with her cousin, once she'd returned from the Shrine of Dumont with the others. They needed some catch up time.

 

And while Amaris had teased her about the Bond and her new-found desire for children, she worried.

 

"Despite them both wanting kids, I hope they manage to hold off until _after_ everything is taken care of." Amaris shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, "Human men can't _control_ it. If she _does_ get pregnant..."

 

"If she does, the Commander will never leave her side, and the rest of us will protect her just as fiercely," Solas comforted, "You know our companions are all terribly fond of the _both_ of you, Amaris; you need not worry."

 

"Perhaps not, but it's what older cousins' do, isn't it?"

 

"More so, perhaps, because you act like _sisters_ , vhenan."

 

Amaris hummed in agreement, enjoying the quiet familiarity, the comfort and safety she felt when it was just the two of them.

 

"What of you, Vhenan?" Solas murmured after a moment, "Would you want children?"

 

"I would." Amaris answered easily, blue eyes seeking his in the mirror, "Though not quite the horde I suspect Ayr will end up with. I think I would be happy with one. And you, Solas?"

 

He didn't answer for a long moment, toying with the ends of her hair, finally managing a quiet "Yes, I would. And I agree; one, or perhaps two, would be more than enough to fill a home."

 

"Will you give me children, Solas?" Amaris lifted a hand to ghost over his cheek, still watching him in the mirror, "When this is over, and the war is won?"

 

"I will give you anything you want, Vhenan," Solas' answer was a little shaky, and he moved so he was knelt beside her, hands lifting to cup her face and turn her towards him, "I am yours, Vhenan, always. Whatever you desire I will give you."

 

"I am yours as you are mine, Vhenan," Amaris whispered back, smiling and bending closer, "When this is finished, I will hold you to that promise."

 

"And I will hold you to that vow, Amaris."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I realized... this is creeping steadily closer to the end of the game events. SO I HOPE Y'ALL DON'T MIND THAT THIS WILL DEFINITELY BE CONTINUING INTO POST-GAME THINGS.
> 
> CAUSE I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS DAMMIT.
> 
> Also I know I'm not going into detail with the companions stuff and I''M SORRY /SOB I HOPE I'M DOING OKAY.
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! <3 :) ALSO GUYS HELP WHAT DO I NAME THEIR MABARI (THAT THEY ONLY HAVE IN THE MODERN AU SO FAR OOPS) THE NAME WILL CARRY ACROSS ALL THE UNIVERSES HELP.


	14. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Well of Sorrows is located, and a sacrifice is made.
> 
> And the time for Truth has finally come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off - HI GUYS YOU'RE AWESOME YOU KNOW THAT?
> 
> Second - THIS WILL END HAPPY. I SWEAR.
> 
> Third - This chapter actually focuses pretty much on SolasxAmaris, which a BIT of CullenxAyr cause I can't just NOT have them in there. B I digress.
> 
> I DO hope this is a good chapter, as since I had to go over the Temple of Mythal I needed to stick SOMEWHAT to the game and not just write free-form. I am also still fighting off an anxiety attack that's been coming and going for three days, sigh. I'll live.
> 
> ANYWHOO! ENJOY! <3

"How should we face this threat, Inquisitor?"

 

"You overcome it, together." Amaris's voice was confident and clear, no room for argument or opposition in her tone, "Josephine, have our allies send scouts to meet us in the Wilds. Leliana, your fastest agents will join them."

 

"Together, we'll have enough spies to slow down Corypheus' army until Cullen's soldiers arrive."

 

"Such _confidence_ ," Morrigan chuckled, clearing her throat when she realized attention was on her, "But, the Arbor Wilds are not so _kind_ to visitors. Old Elven Magic lingers in those woods."

 

"We'd be remiss not to take advantage of your knowledge, lady Morrigan," Josephine soothed, "Please, lend us your expertise."

 

"Tis why I came here." Morrigan smirked, and Amaris had the strangest urge to quiz her on her knowledge, annoyance rising in the back of her mind.

 

Whether it was her own or Solas' - whether the _knowledge_ she had about the Arbor Wilds and the Temple was her own or Solas' - Amaris wasn't sure. What she _was_ sure of was that she could easily navigate the Wilds _without_ the strange woman's aid, but she kept the thought to herself.

 

The memories and emotions were confusing enough to herself, never mind trying to explain them to anyone else. Solas had a knowing of the area that no modern elf _should_ , and Amaris knew the time to talk was coming, quickly.

 

_After_ they made it out of the Arbor Wilds in one piece.

 

"Any other instructions, Inquisitor?" Cullen's voice cut through her thoughts, bringing her back to the War Room.

 

"The Inquisition began as a handful of soldiers, and I as a prisoner." Amaris smiled, pride showing in the expression, "Thanks to you, we're now a force that will topple a self proclaimed God. I could ask for no finer Council, no better Guidance... no truer friends."

 

"I speak for all of us when I answer," Cullen was grinning, "We could ask for no finer cause, _or_ Inquisitor."

 

"We'll hound Corypheus in the Wilds before he can find the Temple, or this Eluvian." Leliana promised, nodding to her.

 

"I will contact our allies immediately, so that we might make haste to the Wilds." Josephine was already writing as she walked, first letter likely half finished before she left the room.

 

Morrigan took her leave with a simple nod, Leliana following after.

 

"A moment, Commander," Amaris requested, pausing at the door to the hall.

 

"Of course, Amaris. How can I help?"

 

"You will be on the front lines with us, Commander. And I _know_ you'll be leaving before us, to get the soldiers there in time." Amaris gave him a pleading look, " _Please_ be careful, for _Ayr's_ sake, as well as your own."

 

"A sentiment I must echo, Amaris. It is _you_ Corypheus will be targeting." Cullen's look softened, "I will take no more risks then necessary, I promise you that. We must _all_ come out of this alive."

 

"I agree. I'm happy to say Dagna was able to craft a Rune with the tools you and Ayr located; I can shatter Sampson's armor the moment I'm close to him." Amaris shot him a mischievous look, eyebrows lifted knowingly, "She also mentioned that the _thing_ you asked her for is complete, though she wouldn't tell me what this _thing_ was. Care to elaborate, Commander?"

 

"I will say no more than that it is a surprise for Ayr. But thank you for letting me know." Cullen allowed himself a smirk, "We will win this battle, Inquisitor. The men and I will leave at first light. Unless you have further need of me...?"

 

"I shan't keep you any longer, Cullen, I imagine we _both_ have people waiting for us."

 

"To true. I will see you when you join us at the front lines, Amaris."

 

"Ride safely, Commander." Amaris let him leave first, turning to give the War Table a last glance before exiting the room, headed to do a quick round to all the companions.

 

_Everyone_ was ready for the mission, to help stop Corypheus once and for all.

 

Bull,  Blackwall and Sera were armed and ready, intending to head out with Cullen and the troops at first light. Cole offered her a quick smile and indicated he, to, would be leaving with the soldiers, so he could aid in any necessary healing.

 

Vivienne would be leaving with Leliana and Josephine, a sort of emissary to the Orlesian camps.

 

Dorian - looking up from where he and Ayr were combing through yet _another_ record of Tevinter names, trying to find Corypheus' - smirked and assured her that _of course_ he would be accompanying them into the Wilds to keep them both alive, Ayr giving her cousin a quick hug and a grin.

 

Varric and Cassandra she actually had trouble _locating_ at first - the dwarf was not at his usual table in the Main Hall, and the Seeker was not beating the stuffing out of her preferred training dummy.

 

They were, she eventually found, sitting at a table in the Tavern, on the second floor away from the drunks, speaking softly and looking as though they did _not_ want to be disturbed.

 

Amaris let them be, smiling rather knowingly as she retreated to the main Keep, headed immediately for her Chambers and the man she knew would be waiting there for her.

 

They had, after all, resolved to spend the nights leading up to the attack together, to make up for all the missions they had been going on.

 

So when Amaris mounted the stairs to her chambers and was greeted by the sight of Solas standing on the balcony, she merely smiled and approached him, caught in his embrace when he turned towards her.

 

"The plans are made, Vhenan?" Solas mumbled gently into her hair, grip on her tight and familiar.

 

"Mhm. Cullen and the troops leave at first light. We'll follow in two days with the rest of the Companions, since we'll be able to catch up quickly." Amaris nuzzled into the fabric of his tunic, feeling his wolf jaw necklace press into her chest and sighing softly, "We have, it seems, some time to ourselves."

 

"What of the witch, Morrigan?" he rubbed soothing circles on her back, though Amaris could feel the _distrust_ and _weariness_ leaching off of him through the Bond.

 

"She's accompanying us. Though I don't think we need her guidance."

 

Solas' hand paused, "What makes you say that, Vhenan?"

 

"Just a thought." Amaris mumbled back, not wanting to chase him back into his shell, sending _trust_ and _patience_ and _love_ through the Bond, "We should make the most of our time before the battle; don't you think, Solas?"

 

"I agree completely, Vhenan." he was tilting her head up then, kissing her softly as he always did at first, as though testing her response before deepening the touch greedily.

 

Amaris took everything he was willing to give, arms anchored around his neck as she drew him back into the rooms, moving steadily towards the bed.

 

_Their_ bed.

 

And despite the darkness looming overhead - despite the increasing suspicions she had about his past - Amaris' laugh was bright and happy as they tumbled backwards onto the soft blankets, lost to the pure truth of their feelings for each other.

 

_Ar lath ma, Solas. Vhenan'ara. No matter what truth you are hesitant to tell me, no matter what your past is, I am yours. Nothing will change that. Not even if you are of the Ancients, as I suspect._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"What _is_ it?" Ayr questioned curiously, eyeing the package Cullen had set on the bed beside her just a moment before.

 

"A present." he answered simply, scar pulling tight as he grinned at her excited expression, "To replace the armor that was destroyed. Though I rather hope you'll _prefer_ this set to your old armor, Ayr."

 

"You had armor made for me?" Ayr's gaze shot to his, surprise and happiness clear, "Why?"

 

"You needed a new set. And Vivienne had your measurements, so I went ahead and asked Harritt and Dagna to craft some for you." Cullen pushed the package closer to her, " _Open it_ , Ayr."

 

Clearly trying to _not_ look like a kid opening a new toy, Ayr carefully pulled back the flaps of the box and reached inside, first pulling out the greaves - they were on top, silver, pointed things that would be _much_ easier to run in then the ones from her dragon armor - and then pausing when she realized the rest was organized in order of layers.

 

"Can I try it on?" she asked excitedly, Cullen chuckling and nodding.

 

Ayr nearly jumped from the bed and immediately stripped down to her breast band and smalls, ignoring his groan and working at putting on the new armor.

 

First pants similar to the ones she wore around Skyhold but darker in colour, then a crimson, long sleeved tunic and a fabric sash of the same colour. A belted vest of sorts followed that, then an actual belt with two pouches and a slot for a potion vial. A white - dragon scale? - half jacket with a long train followed that, then a set of fingerless gloves and-

 

Ayr _stared_ at the last item in the box before _smirking_ , eyebrows lifting as she looked up at the still grinning Commander. "Cullen. Is that _really_...?"

 

"You seemed to like mine," he chuckled, shrugging innocently, "I didn't think it would hurt."

 

Ayr pulled the pauldrons out then, almost reverently - more white dragon scale with crimson accents, two golden clasps with Inquisition symbols to attach it to her coat - but what struck her was the dark fur lining the collar of it, soft and luxurious, enveloping her in warmth when she secured it properly.

 

"We _match_." she breathed softly, reaching out to play with a tuft of the fur on his own coat, smiling and batting her eyelashes innocently when he _growled_ and stood from the bed, "Nicely played, _Commander_."

 

"I couldn't resist." he mumbled, arms wrapping around her waist to pull her against his chest, expression tender and affectionate, "And it will keep you safe, when I am not there to do so."

 

"You spoil me, Cullen." Ayr leaned up to kiss him, arms slipping around his neck to pull him closer, " _Thank you_ , Vhenan."

 

"Anything for you, Vhenan," he rumbled back, kiss hungry, "I ride out at first light with the men. May I love you one more time before I depart, Ayr?"

 

"Only once?" Ayr whispered back, grinning at the growl her words elicited and laughing when he gripped her tighter, "You may have me as many times as you like, Cullen. Help me undress?"

 

His hands were immediately at her snaps, undoing the pauldrons with a whispered "As you wish, Vhenan."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Ayr rose with Cullen early the next morning, dressing silently and accompanying him out to the courtyard where the men were waiting.

 

She bid him farewell with a kiss and quiet whisper of 'be safe' before stepping back to let the troops pass, eyes on her Commander as he led them out of Skyhold and off to battle.

 

Ayr stared after them until Cullen was out of sight, then retreated to the Main Hall where everyone else was now gathering at the tables for breakfast, slipping silently into the seat beside Amaris.

 

Her cousin gave her a sympathetic smile and squeezed her hand gently, "Don't worry, Ayr, we'll join him in a couple of days. Everything will be _fine_."

 

"I know. I'm just used to it being _me_ riding off into battle, I guess," Ayr tried to joke, "This must be how Cullen feels, every time. No _wonder_ he's always so happy when I come back."

"You have made _quite_ the chance in his life, Ayr," Mia smiled at her from further down the table, "We are grateful for the spark you've returned to him. Cullen will be fine, knowing he has _you_ to return to."

 

"Thank you, Mia." Ayr flushed and stared at the table for a moment before turning shyly towards Amaris, "Amaris... once Corypheus is defeated, I... may need your help with something."

 

"Oh?" Amaris' smile was knowing, but she only motioned for Ayr to continue.

 

The redhead swallowed, lifting a hand to play with the coin she wore and trying to ignore the fact that _everyone_ at the table was listening in.

 

"Cullen... asked me to marry him."

 

"About time!"

 

"He _what_?! _When_?!"

 

"Didn't know he had it in him!"

 

While the Rutherford's and other people at the table carried on, Amaris only reached over to hug her, smile wide.

 

"We will see to everything once this is over," Amaris assured her, sharing a quick nod with Solas, "Have you told anyone else about the... ah...?"

 

_The Bond_ , she knew Amaris was referring to, and shook her head.

 

Solas let out a breath from Amaris' other side. "Perhaps it is wise to keep it secret for now, Lethallen. Lest the wrong _people_ get wind."

 

"We think alike, Solas," Ayr assured him, flattered by the worry, "I just... wanted everyone to know about the other part."

 

"We will make arrangements once Corypheus is dead and done, Ayr, I promise you. For now... we must prepare. We leave for the Arbor Wilds in two days. We must be ready."

 

"I will be." Ayr promised, attempting to eat the breakfast laid before her despite her worry, knowing Amaris' confidence was well placed and that they would _succeed_.

 

She just had a feeling she wouldn't be sleeping again until Cullen was safely in her arms again.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"We've done well, Inquisitor; we're holding the Red Templars at bay, and they fall swiftly to our blades. Corypheus has been spotted moving towards an old Elvhen structure further in - it must be the Temple the Commander told us about."

 

"Very good, Captain. See that the injured are moved if the fighting gets any closer."

 

"Yes, ma'am!"

 

Morrigan was saying something behind her, but Amaris paid her no heed; she plowed ahead through the camp, speaking briefly with their allies - Josephine and Empress Celene near the back, a Grey Warden Captain and a preying soldier near the front - before striding confidently out into the Wilds.

 

The journey through was swift, despite the Red Templars attempting to waylay them; Amaris _knew_ where she was going, had a mental map of the Wilds despite never having been there before, knew _exactly_ which hills they could slide safely down and which to avoid.

 

And, when they approached a Red Templar camp and found it under siege by strange, powerful elves, Amaris know who _they_ were, too.

 

_Sentinels. Protectors of the Temple._

 

Though she'd have liked to talk with them and reason, the Sentinels attacked without a word, and she silently whispered apologies as they fell to spell and blade and arrow.

 

Deeper in she paused, turning to head off the main path and following another trail on the mental map, ignoring her companions questions and simply cutting through another group of Red Templars as she went.

 

"Amaris." Ayr was at her side, speaking softly as they trudged forwards, "You _know_ where you're going."

 

It wasn't a question, and Amaris would never lie to her cousin, "I do."

 

" _How_?"

 

"I don't know. I just do."

 

Or rather, she _suspected_ the reason, but couldn't _quite_ prove it. Not yet.

 

Any other questions Ayr may have asked were cut off when they came into the area Amaris had been aiming for - another section of Ruins, hidden in the cliffs and guarded by statues of Ghilan'nain.

 

More Red Templars and Sentinels fought in the space ahead, and the group was forced to slay them all, Amaris noting a string of _regret_ flowing from Solas and doing her best to send back _reassurance_.

 

There was a veil fire torch in this space, and Amaris snatched it out of habit, quickly combing along the walls to find - ahah, _there_ , the ping of hidden writing. She lifted the torch and read it overly quickly, cataloguing the information for later and letting the torch go out as they left the area.

 

They took down another hidden camp, aided Fiona and her mages in felling two Behemoths - it was hard to believe the creatures had been men, once, hard to see them as anything but monsters now - and emerged into a hilly area with numerous broken archways, once more assaulted by Templars and Sentinels.

 

"Good hunting, Inquisitor!" Leliana called from atop one of the arches, picking off lingering enemies with swift arrows, "Follow the river! The Commander is holding the line just outside the Temple!"

 

"Be safe!" Amaris shouted back, already darting towards the sound of rushing water and following it easily.

 

They found Cullen where Leliana said he would be; fighting off several Red Templars and possessed Grey Wardens with his men.

 

Ayr was the first to swoop into the battle, a flash of lightning paralysing a Warden that had been aiming for Cullen's back, giving the Commander time to _whirl_ and take down the enemy.

 

They moved so fluidly together that Amaris was almost tempted to just stand back and _watch_ , but they needed to move on, quickly, and so she joined in the fray as well; swiftly cutting through the opposition.

 

"We'll hold here, Inquisitor!" Cullen promised, his shield arm loosely around Ayrs waist to press her close for a moment, the other gripping his sword in a ready motion, "Get to the Temple, quickly!"

 

"Will do, Commander. Look after yourselves."

 

"Stay safe." she heard Ayr mutter before leaning up to kiss him, crossing back to Amaris once he'd stepped away and letting the mask of concentration fall over her expression again, "Let's go."

 

"I never _did_ comment on your armor, Ayr," Amaris couldn't help herself, climbing the steps to the Temple with her cousin at her side, "You _match_. It looks wonderful."

 

"Thanks, cous," Ayr flashed a brief smile before jerking her head towards the open Temple doors, "Let's get this over with."

 

They hurried onwards, taking the steps two at a time, rushing through the open corridor and carefully sneaking out onto the balcony overlooking what seemed to be a courtyard.

 

Another group of Sentinel's stood blocking the way across the bridge, Corypheus tossing a dead one aside as he approached them, unperturbed.

 

Amaris didn't catch most of the words exchanged, but she _did_ hear the Magister saying something about a 'Well of Sorrows'.

 

And even as she shot Morrigan a questioning look - the witch in turn ruefully shaking her head - that same sense of familiar _knowing_ swept over her, a rough realization of what the Well was dawning, and she _knew_ they had to reach it first.

 

_To easy_. she thought as the Sentinels activated some sort of magical gate at the end of the bridge and it _exploded_ , seemingly taking Corypheus with it.

 

"Be careful." she commanded, cautiously leading them down towards the bridge, spotting Sampson and his men rushing ahead of them on the other side.

 

Then a sickening _gurgling_ began behind them, the body of a dead Warden twisting and morphing, and Amaris knew she'd been right.

 

"Across the bridge, _now_!"

 

Everyone took off at a run, Amaris not daring to look back even when she heard the telltale _roar_ of Corypheus' dragon, skidding in through the opened doors and helping the others push them _closed_.

 

They managed _just_ as the dragon unleashed it's fire, magic flaring as the doors sealed themselves against the attack, shielding them.

 

There was a brief debate between the others - about what the Well could be, how it connected to the Eluvian - before Amaris took charge once more, leading them forwards.

 

The door leading further in was sealed, and they were forced to explore, finding themselves in front of a statue to Fen'Harel.

 

"Why would _this_ be here?" Morrigan pondered behind her, Amaris once more resisting the urge to correct as she and Solas got into a slight argument about it.

 

"My Clan kept statues of Fen'Harel," she broke in eventually, sick of the arguing, "They were to ward off evil spirits."

 

"Which... doesn't actually make a lot of sense, does it?" Ayr wondered, staying close to Amaris' side, "If the Dread Wolf betrayed the other Gods, as Legend says..."

 

"I think the Legends are wrong, or maybe misconstrued," Amaris did not need to reach into the Bond to feel Solas' surprise; here, in this place, she seemed able to read _everything_ from him, "It would explain why our Clan always treated the statues as protection."

 

They moved on, ending up at the central alter, the tile beneath her feet alighting as she stepped onto it.

 

Morrigan attempted to decipher the writing on the pillars, but Amaris cut her off, reciting it easily; it was a test for partitioners, to gain entry to the Temple proper.

 

The look Morrigan gave her was edged with suspicion, "How is it that you are able to _read_ this, Inquisitor?"

 

"I am an _elf_ , Morrigan. Why is it so surprising that I have studied my own culture?" she refuted simply, gaze drawn back to the pillars and the words on them.

 

She did not say, _Because I know this place_. She _could_ read the writing; she didn't _need_ to. She had known, as soon as they stepped into this sacred place, what it was, and what they would need to do.

 

It was as familiar to her as though she had walked there daily, visited it often, could _see_ images of the original majesty superimposed over the ruined walls and archways.

 

The knowing was not _hers_ , no matter how vivid the memories were, and so Amaris kept her thoughts to herself, completing the simple ritual and then leading the way through the doors, an _explosion_ going off as they were faced with more Red Templars.

 

Dispatching them was done easily, Amaris _glaring_ at the gaping hole they had created in the floor - yet another injustice done to the holy place - before turning further into the Temple, following the strange memories, "Come. There are more rituals to complete, in order to proceed."

 

The others, she knew, were concerned by her knowing, but there wasn't time to worry about it. Not if they wanted to beat Corypheus to the Well.

 

They came across mosaics dedicated to the Gods as they went - Falon'Din, and Andruil, among others - and each time Morrigan recited what she _thought_ she knew about them, only to be refuted by both Solas and herself.

 

And though normally Solas kept a tight hold on what came through the Bond, what she could read off of him, here, in this place, it seemed as though that Hold had weakened, allowing her insight and information he'd never shared.

 

But the time for that would come later; for now, they needed to stop Sampson.

 

The rituals were simple enough, when you had borrowed memories leading you; Amaris completed them quickly, leading them onwards into the Inner Sanctum.

 

"What was this Chamber used for?" she heard Morrigan wondering as she slowed, feeling eyes on their backs.

 

"We're being watched." Amaris frowned, continuing forwards until a figure appeared at the top of the platform before them.

 

A Sentinel, but one that looked vaguely different, scowling down at them.

 

"Venavis." the Elf paused, arms crossed, "You... are _unlike_ the other Invaders. You have the features of those who call themselves _Elvhen_. The bare the Mark of Magic which is... _familiar_."

 

Amaris felt the Anchor spark, clenching her fingers and willing the pain away with a grimace.

 

"How is this come to pass? What is your connection to those who first disturbed our Slumber?"

 

"They are _my_ enemies, as well as _yours_." Amaris answered simply, keeping her voice strong and steady.

 

The Sentinel hesitated, still scowling, "I am called Abelas. We are Sentinels, tasked with standing against those who trespass on Sacred Ground. We wake only to fight, to preserve this place. Our numbers diminish with each Invasion."

 

"I know what you seek." Abelas folded his hands behind his back - a gesture that reminded her startlingly of Solas - and paced at the front of the platform, "Like all who have come before, you wish to drink from the Vir'Abelasan."

 

_The Place of the Way of Sorrows_ Amaris translated even before Morrigan whispered it to her.

 

"It is not _for_ you," Abelas informed them, "It is not for _any_ of you."

 

"So... you're Elves from Ancient Times? Before the Tevinter Imperium destroyed Arlathan?" Amaris asked, even though she already knew the answer.

 

"The Shemlen did _not_ destroy Arlathan," Abelas confirmed, "We Elvhen warred upon _ourselves_. By the time the doors to this Sanctuary closed, our time was over. We awaken only when called, and find the world a little more foreign then before. It is meaningless. We endure. The Vir'Abelasan must be preserved."

 

"What _is_ this Vir'Abelasan exactly?"

 

"It is a _path_. One walked only by those who toiled in Mythal's favour. More than that you need not know."

 

"Our people have lost everything," Amaris knew it was foolish to try that tactic, but what could it hurt, "They _need_ you, they could _learn_ from you!"

 

"'Our' people?" Abelas repeated, "The ones we see in the forest, shadows wearing Vallaslin? You are _not_ my people. And you have invaded our sanctum as readily as the Shemlen."

 

"We knew this place was sacred, we've respected it as best we could."

 

_That_ made Abelas pause before nodding, "I believe you. Trespassers you are, but you have followed rites of petition. You have shown respect to Mythal. If these others are enemies of yours, we will aid you in destroying them. When this is done, you will be permitted to depart... and never return."

 

"This is our Goal, is it not?" Solas whispered urgently behind her, the strength of his emotions nearly bowling Amaris over through the Bond, "There is no _reason_ to fight these Sentinels."

 

"Consider carefully." came Morrigan's voice from her left, but Amaris knew what choice to make.

 

"I accept your offer." Amaris said aloud, feeling the rush of _relief_ from Solas even as she spoke.

 

"You will be guided to those you seek. As for the Vir'Abelasan..." Abelas turned, disappearing through the doors behind him, "It will _not_ be despoiled. Even if I must destroy it myself."

 

"NO!"

 

"Morrigan!" Amaris ducked as the witch shifted into a bird and took off after the Sentinel, scowling after her.

 

"They've left us a guide," Ayr nudged her cousin gently, indicating the stooped Sentinel staring them down from the left doorway.

 

The woman barked something in Ancient Elvhen - to thickly accented for Amaris to catch - before turning and walking away, leaving them to follow after.

 

They crossed through secret doors and passageways, venturing deeper into the Temple and into areas untouched by time, beautiful and haunting in their imagery.

 

All the while thoughts and memories and feelings filtered through the Bond to her, unchecked and incredibly raw.

 

Soon they reached the final chamber, taking out the small group of Templars that had made it that far and moving through the final doors, Amaris' breath catching at the sight before them.

 

"The Well of Sorrows..." she breathed, captured by the beauty of it before fighting and voices below snapped her back to reality, hurrying to lead the others down the stairs towards them.

 

It was, it seemed, finally time to put an end to Sampson.

 

"Inquisitor." the man sneered as they drew near, looking as greasy as Amaris remembered from Haven, "You've chased us halfway across Thedas. I should've known you'd follow us into this hole."

 

"I met your Tranquil, Maddox," Ayr stepped forwards to speak, frowning, "He sacrificed himself for you."

 

"I told him not to. He died as one of us, then," Samson looked momentarily sorry before lifting his head, smirk returning, "Corypheus chose me twice. First as his General, now as the Vessel for the Well of Sorrows. I'll give the power to him, and he can enter the Fade without your _precious_ Anchor. Then he can scour the world."

 

"I'll die before I let Corypheus have that well," Amaris vowed, already reaching for the Rune she'd tucked into her pouch.

 

"And how do you plan to stop him? You're no match for Corypheus." Sampson stepped forwards with a sweeping motion, armor lighting up _red_ " _This_ is the power the Chantry tried to bind. But it's a _new_ world now, with a new _God_. So, Inquisitor? How will this go?"

 

Amaris couldn't help her smirk as she lifted the Rune, the markings glowing eerily to match the armor, "Powers all well and good, until it's taken _away_."

 

Sampson fell to his knees with a shout, the red glow of his armor disappearing as the Rune did its work. "What did you do? _What did you do_?! The armor... it's gone. The Lyrium... I _need_ it!"

 

"Kill them all!"

 

Spells were already flying before Sampson had finished the words, taking out his lackeys before they could cause to much trouble.

 

Even without his armor, Sampson was strong, letting out waves of Lyrium that stunned them temporarily, _growing_ with monstrous energy the more they whittled him down.

 

Finally - _finally_ \- he fell, struggling yet to push himself up, to keep fighting.

 

"We can bring him to Skyhold for judgement later," Amaris turned as _magic_ seemed to gather, spotting a familiar Sentinel darting past, "Abelas!"

 

The elf only spared her a glance as he went, rocks rising in a staircase before him as he raced towards the Well, the familiar shape of Morrigan's crow form soaring after him.

 

Amaris took off at a run, leading the others up the rock's behind her, reaching the top just as Morrigan _swooped_ and resumed her true form, blocking Abelas from the Well.

 

"You heard his parting words, Inquisitor. The Elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!"

 

"So the Sanctum is despoiled at last." Abelas muttered, backing away as Amaris moved closer.

 

"You would have destroyed the Well yourself, given the chance."

 

"To keep it from _your_ grasping fingers!" he pointed at the witch, face drawn in anger, "Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!"

 

"Fool!"

 

"Enough, Morrigan," Amaris commanded softly, locking the witch with a look that beggared no arguments.

 

Abelas seemed as surprised by the command as Morrigan, looking thoughtfully away.

 

"The Well obviously carries power, Inquisitor," Morrigan spoke softly, "If that power can be turned against Corypheus, can you afford not to use it?"

 

"Do you even _know_ what you ask?" Abelas scowled, turning towards the Well, "As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on... through this. All that we were, all that we knew. It would be lost forever."

 

"Look _around_ ," Amaris couldn't help it - spurred by her own emotions and something deeper - motioning around her, "It is already _lost_."

 

"There are other places, friend," Solas spoke up, taking a single step forwards, "Other duties. Your people yet linger."

 

Abelas' eyes were on the mage then, narrowed, "Elvhen such as _you_?"

 

"Yes. Such as _I_."

 

Something passed between the two men, some unspoken truth, and Amaris caught the remnants through the Bond even as Abelas looked away, knowing she was in deeper then she'd ever imagined.

 

"You have shown respect to Mythal." Abelas said at last, staring at the Well, "And there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny. Is that your desire? To partake of the Vir'Abelasan as best you can, to fight your enemy?"

 

"Not without your permission."

 

"One does not _obtain_ permission. One obtains the _right_." Abelas glanced at the well one last time before turning away, striding towards the edge of the platform before pausing, "The Vir'Abelasan may be too much for a _mortal_ to comprehend. Brave it if you must, but know this; you shall be Bound forever to the will of Mythal."

 

"Bound to a Goddess who longer exists, if she ever did?" Morrigan sneered.

 

" _Bound_ , as we are _bound_. The choice is _yours_."

 

"Is it possible Mythal might still exist?" Amaris questioned, still sorting through the emotions and memories overwhelming her.

 

"Anything is possible."

 

"Elvhen legend states that Mythal was _tricked_ by Fen'Harel and banished to the Beyond."

 

" _Elven_ legend is _wrong_. The Dread Wolf had _nothing_ to do with her murder."

 

The emotions and memories _flared_ suddenly, and Amaris winced, trying to conceal the reaction, the _truth_ she was now sure of. _The reason there was a statue of Fen'Harel in Mythal's temple..._

 

She barely heard the words Morrigan exchanged with him, trying to filter and _control_ the emotions, finally managing to ask "Are you leaving the temple?"

 

"Our duty ends. Why remain?"

 

"There is a place for you, Lethallin... if you seek it." Solas offered, seeming calm despite the storm Amaris knew was raging within him.

 

"Perhaps there are places the Shemlen have not touched," Abelas agreed, "For now, perhaps we will fall into the Sleep, so that we may have peace. Fight your enemy as you will; I leave the Well to you."

 

"You'll note the intact Eluvian," Morrigan called to her as she watched Abelas disappear back into the Temple, "I was correct on that count, at least."

 

"And each Eluvian needs a key." Amaris murmured, coming to stand beside the Well as realization dawned, "The _Well_ is the _Key_."

 

"Take the Wells power, and Mythal's last Eluvian will be no more useful to Corypheus then glass."

 

"It feels... hungry." Amaris stared down at the still water, entranced.

 

"I am willing to pay the price the Well demands," Morrigan stated from beside her, yellow eyes locked directly on her, "I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service."

 

_No, you're not_ , Amaris thought, but Solas beat her to refuting the words, stepping forwards with a scowl.

 

"Or, more likely, to your _own_ ends."

 

"What would you know of _my ends_ , elf?"

 

"You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast. You cannot be trusted."

 

Even Ayr - stepping forwards to stand beside Amaris now, surprisingly silent for most of the trip - was eying Morrigan wearily.

 

"Of those present, I alone have the training to make use of this. Let me drink, Inquisitor."

 

"You alone?" Amaris couldn't help the disbelief in her voice, "This is _my_ heritage. Not only that, I think I've proven myself as adept at Ancient Elvhen as yourself, during our time here."

 

"And so you think yourself well enough versed? Can you honestly tell me there is _anyone_ better suited?"

 

Even knowing his answer, Amaris glanced towards Solas, "What about you, Solas?"

 

" _No_. Do not ask me again." he answered immediately, as she'd known he would.

 

Stealing herself for the reaction, Amaris met Morrigan's eye, "Then it's me."

 

"You are _Inquisitor_ ," Morrigan tried to argue, "This is not a risk you can take!"

 

"Regardless of your opinions, Morrigan, I will be taking the Well."

 

"So you will take what little knowledge you can understand and let the rest go to _waste_?"

 

"It _won't_ go to waste." Amaris barred her teeth, fed up and annoyed, "I have navigated this Temple without a need for aid, and I know the Lore better then you think. Stand down, Morrigan."

 

The witch growled as though wanting to argue, backing away after a moment of glaring to tromp angrily towards the others.

 

"Be careful." Ayr whispered from her side, Amaris nodding and shooting a look to the others - pausing on Solas, noting his worried but forlorn expression - before turning and stepping down into the water.

 

It was warm, and parted easily for her as she came to stand in the middle, turning back so she was facing her companions.

 

Then she cupped her hands in the water, lifted them to her lips, and let the cool liquid slide down her throat.

 

There was an immediate spark of magic, a shock of pain that had her crying out and reeling backwards, and suddenly Amaris found herself in a veil of darkness, blue lights circling her.

 

There was whispering - multiple voices, words she couldn't make out - and Amaris turned in a circle, searching.

 

"Why am I here?"

 

The voices whispered louder, closer.

 

"Corypheus - a Magister wishes to rip the Veil open. I must learn how to stop him!"

 

More whispering, more voices, now right in her ear, over her shoulder.

 

"Your aid is worth any price!"

 

_Vir Mythal'Enaste_ the voices whispered suddenly, _pain_ flaring in her skull as she crouched over, pressing her hands to her forehead as pressure built.

 

Then she felt herself falling, darkness enveloping her, and the whispers vanished.

 

"Inquisitor?" she heard Solas suddenly, voice urgent and panicked as light burned through her eyelids, "Amaris!"

 

Eyes shooting open with a gasp, Amaris shot up from where she lay, panting and bracing herself on the now empty floor of the Well.

 

The others crowded around her as she fought to her feet, unsteady at first but slowly regaining her balance, waving them away when they tried to offer support.

 

"How... do you feel?" Solas asked, emotions a mess as they filtered to her, worry and guilt and sorrow and pride, no less strong then before.

 

Amaris noticed wisps of light and smoke following her feet as she walked, gaze drawn suddenly to the upper balcony they had come from just as Corypheus stepped out onto it.

 

The Magister saw them - eyes widening as he realized what had happened - and made a sound of _rage_ , sending Amaris into immediate action.

 

"Through the mirror!" she ordered, the Eluvian sparking to life at her will, "Quickly!"

 

No one argued; Amaris was last to jump through, making sure the others were clear before following into the Crossroads.

 

The mirror _shattered_ behind them, and while she vaguely wondered what had happened, it also meant Corypheus couldn't follow them through.

 

They were silent as they trekked through the Ancient area, finally reaching Morrigan's entrance and stepping through it.

 

"It is done." Morrigan muttered as she shut down the mirror, leaving without another word.

 

_No_ , Amaris thought, hearing whispers and watching Solas' back as he to exited the room, _It's just beginning._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

After a debriefing with the advisors - everyone had made it safely back to Skyhold, since Corypheus had fled once they'd gone through the Eluvian - and a quick shout from the voices that told her _He will not hide_ , Amaris went looking for Solas.

 

She found him easily, standing in the Rotunda, staring at the painting's he'd been decorating the walls with, the story of the Inquisition forever visible on the fresco.

 

His emotions were tumultuous, and though he was not as open as he had unknowingly been at the Temple, Amaris knew enough to tell what he was thinking.

 

"I should have stopped you." he said once she had approached him, turning slowly to give her a look of regret, "I know I said not to let Morrigan drink, but to then let _you_ take on the burden..."

 

"Solas..."

 

"You gave yourself into the service of an Ancient Elvhen God!" there was anger to his words, now, though she suspected it was more at the situation then at her.

 

"I know." Amaris met his eyes squarely, stepping closer so he could read her expressions better, "I know what I did, what the Well was. I did not go into it lightly, Solas."

 

"You are Mythal's creature now." Solas sounded sad, lifting a hand to brush along her cheek, "Everything you do, whether you know it or not, will be for her. You have given up a part of yourself."

 

"I'm still me. I still have control over my thoughts and desires," Amaris lifted her hand to cover his, eyes watching him intently, "You can _tell_ , Solas, through the Bond. Do I seem like a woman possessed?"

 

" _No_ , Vhenan, you do not." he agreed, thumb stroking her cheek, "And... I suppose it is better, that you have the power and not Corypheus. Which leads to the next logical question... what will do you with the power of the Well, once Corypheus is dead?"

 

"I'll use whatever power I have to undo the chaos caused by Corypheus and his allies."

 

"You would put things back the way they were before?" he questioned, even as he could feel the truth through the Bond.

 

"Yes. I mean, not _exactly_..."

 

"I _know_ what you mean." he managed a smile, just a soft twitch of his lips, "The Temple of Mythal did not deserve to be desecrated... and I must thank you, Vhenan. You work to restore what was, no matter the cost, where others would erase or squander it. We may yet be able to recover the orb and it's stolen power, and thus save a smidgen of the past."

 

"Whatever comes, I will have _you_ at my side, Solas."

 

"You will." Solas studied her for a moment, expression closing off, before he reached for her hands, "Come _with_ me, Vhenan. We must talk."

 

Amaris said nothing, only allowing him to lead her and praying all the while that here, now, he would tell her _everything_.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

They rode into Crestwood perhaps two hours later, Solas leading her to a Grove she didn't remember, guarded by statues of Ghilan'nain.

 

He took her hand once they'd dismounted, leading her deeper in, comfortable in the silence and each other's presence as they walked, hands swinging.

 

"The Veil is thin, here," Solas finally spoke, stopping near the water and tugging her hand so she faced him, "Can you feel it on your skin, tingling?"

 

Solas lifted his hand to cup her cheek again, gaze intent, "I was trying to determine... someway to show you what you mean to me. Someway to _thank_ you for everything you've given me."

 

"Besides Bonding with me?" Amaris murmured, feeling his emotions twist through the Bond.

 

"I need to tell you the Truth, Vhenan. _Everything_." he sucked in a breath, "You are _unique_. In all Thedas, I never thought I could find someone who could draw my attention away from the Fade. You have become important to me. More important than I could have imagined."

 

"As you are to me, Solas," Amaris kept her voice low, projecting her own emotions to him, trying to comfort him.

 

"Then what I must tell you. The Truth." Solas hesitated, swallowing, and Amaris felt _fear_ radiating off of him, as well as _trust_ and _love_. "I am not... quite what I appear to be. I am not the wandering apostate I have presented myself as, or even the scholarly Fade explorer many see."

 

"I know." Amaris gripped his hand, letting him see the trust and knowing in her expression, "You were not blocking anything while we were at the Temple, Vhenan. I _knew_ the corridors and paths, the patterns of the rituals... I knew what the Sentinels were the moment we _saw_ one. Because _you_ knew, because you had _been there_ before."

 

"Yes, Vhenan."

 

"You're one of the Ancients, one of the Immortal Elvhen from so long ago. And..." Amaris hesitated, not sure if her last guess was proper.

 

"Fen'Harel." Solas confirmed softly, running his thumb over her knuckles, _fear_ still prominent through the bond, "Sit, Amaris. I will explain everything."

 

"I knew there was something different about you." she murmured, letting him lead her to the rocks lining the water and sit her down on one, eyes following his when he knelt so he was between her legs, directly in front of her, "You were always so _aware_ , so in tune with everything."

 

"I tried to shelter the thoughts from you, at first," Solas admitted, now doing _nothing_ to stem the flow of memories and feelings through the Bond, "But the closer we got - the more I learned about you, spent time with you - that resolve weakened. My original plans... I cannot bring myself to follow them any longer."

 

"You were going to leave," Amaris guessed.

 

"Yes. Once Corypheus was dead and things were set right, I had planned to disappear. A feat I am no longer capable of, as it would mean losing you."

 

"I must explain how things began, Vhenan, so you understand. You've seen glimpses, through the Bond, but I imagine there are parts that are fuzzy, or confusing."

 

"I would rather hear it from you anyways, Solas."

 

He nodded, seeming to steel himself for a moment before beginning, "Know that the Elvhen Gods were not Gods, first. They were powerful Mages - _Evanuris_ \- who began to _see_ themselves as Gods, the more followers they gained. I was one of them, though I did not think myself a God - or if I did, the fancy has long since left me."

 

"Mythal was the best of them, kind to her people and deadly to her enemies. She was a close friend, a mentor... until the other Evanuris _murdered_ her."

 

_"The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder."_ Amaris remembered Abelas' words, and even the voices in her head agreed, whispering that he was telling the truth.

 

"I was overcome with rage, with grief... and so I locked the others away, creating the Veil and sealing them where they could never again escape."

 

"You created the Veil? But you _love_ the Fade, why would you want to seal it away?"

 

"I thought it the best course of action, at the time. It meant the greedy Evanuris could no longer do as they liked." Solas scowled, lowering his gaze, "Only later did I realize what damage I had caused. I slept for a time, tired from creating the Veil... and when I awoke, it seemed to be a world of _Tranquil_ , where everyone was cut off from the Fade and from magic, and terrified me."

 

"I sought to restore things, to rip down the Veil and restore the Elvhen. The Orb - _my_ orb - was left to collect power while I slept, eventually given to Corypheus by one of my contacts... and then everything fell apart."

 

"You did not expect him to survive the blast." Amaris realized, hands massaging his shoulders as she took in the information, finding she couldn't even be mad at him. She could feel his despair and loneliness through the Bond, the fear at finding himself alone in the world.

 

"I did not. I thought him a power hungry fool who would destroy himself and leave the orb charged. I was wrong, as I have been wrong about many things. My miscalculation has caused much suffering, including _this_ ," Solas took her left hand between his, lifting her marked palm to his lips, "I never meant for you to be entangled in this terrible web, Amaris."

 

"And where once I was ready to sacrifice anything to tear down the Veil - for this world to burn in the restoration of the old - I cannot follow through any longer. I cannot lose _you_." his grip on her tightened, as though afraid she would disappear, " _You_ are what keeps me going, Vhenan. You keep me sane, keep me fighting. If I lost _you_..."

 

"You will not lose me, Solas." Amaris kept her voice soft, lifting both hands to cup his jaw and make him look at her, smiling gently, "My life may have been turned upside down by the Conclave - by the Anchor - but I don't regret a moment of it. I am _alive_ , Solas, and I am stronger than I ever have been. And I have _you_."

 

"How did I ever find you?" Solas' hands were on top of hers now, and his eyes clenched shut as several tears escaped, "I don't deserve you, Amaris, Vhenan, but I will do _anything_ for you. Anything, so long as I don't lose you."

 

"Ar lath ma, Solas. Vhenan'ara." Amaris leaned forwards to kiss him, gentle and reassuring, letting her own emotions flow through the Bond, "You have me, Vhenan. I am not leaving you."

 

"Ar lath ma, Vhenan'ara." Solas whispered back, opening his eyes and pulling away, "There is... one other thing. The Vallaslin."

 

"Yes?"

 

"You said you took Dirthamen's to honor your mother, but... those markings do not mean what you think they mean."

 

Amaris frowned, thinking about it, "Our Keeper said they honored the Elvhen Gods... but if they weren't _Gods_..."

 

"They are slave markings. Or at least they were, in Ancient Times. A noble would mark his servants according to which God they worshiped."

 

The whispers supported the words, as did what she'd seen in the Temple, and Amaris sucked in a shaky breath, laughing a little humorlessly.

 

"Yet another thing the Dalish got wrong." she murmured, gaze lifting back to his when he touched her cheek.

 

"They did one thing right." he told her, grin soft, "They made _you_. But, if you like... I know a spell. I could _remove_ the Vallaslin."

 

"I trust you, Solas. Cast your spell. Take the Vallaslin away."

 

"Close your eyes, Vhenan."

 

Amaris did is told, feeling the tingle of his magic as it washed over her skin, the blue light bright even behind closed eyelids. It felt refreshing and tingly, and only when she felt his hands rest at the back of her neck did she open her eyes again.

 

"You are free," he told her simply, smiling as he took her hands and pulled her to her feet, arms slipping around her waist to pull her close.

 

Amaris felt strangely _naked_ without the markings, touching her cheek and feeling it smooth and free of the familiar lines, blushing under the intense look of _adoration_ he was giving her. "It feels... _strange_."

 

"You are beautiful," Solas assured her, words tender, "Everything about you is _beautiful_. Your spirit, your determination... your face, voice, body... you are perfect, Amaris."

 

"Flatterer." Amaris whispered back, leaning forwards pointedly, Solas meeting her halfway in a kiss that began soft and then deepened into something much more desperate.

 

" _Come_ , Vhenan," Solas growled into her mouth, sending thoughts of what he wanted to do to her and making her shudder, "Let us return to Skyhold, to properly _celebrate_ our victory at the Temple."

 

"So long as you are with me, Vhenan," she whispered tenderly, feeling his grip on her tighten.

 

"Always, Amaris. I am yours until the end, for as long as you want me."

 

"Then don't' ever expect to be rid of me, _Dread Wolf_ ," Amaris purred, "I'm afraid you're rather stuck with me."

 

"Amaris, Vhenan'ara, I could never be _stuck_ with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost - ALMOST - had AYR be the one to drink from the Well, just to split up the power a bit.
> 
> But Amaris is not only the more academic/learned one by nature, she's also Bonded to the Dread Wolf. It made more sense for it to be her.
> 
> But I digress. I HOPE I DID GOOD WITH THE EXPLANATIONS AT THE END? PLEASE TELL ME IF IT'S OKAY.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments (especially comments, I love feedback!) are love! <3


	15. A Deserved End, A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Battle is upon them, and Amaris' only wish is that they can make it through alive.
> 
> The Celebrations are had, including rather more private parties for the cousins and their lovers.
> 
> One chapter ends, and a new one begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all, you know that? I can't BELIEVE hope popular Lion and the Halla has gotten, and the support on this story as well just... /sobs
> 
> THIS IS NOT THE END. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT THE END.
> 
> YES, they face Corypheus, so YES, this is TECHNICALLY where the GAME CONTENT ENDS.
> 
> BUT I AM WRITING MORE AFTER THIS. SO PLEASE STAY TUNED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT TO SEE BABIES.
> 
> SMUT AHOY! BETWEEN BOTH COUPLES! ENJOY <3

Ayr woke late the next morning, surprised - at first - to find herself alone in the bed before remembering Cullen's words the night before.

 

_"I have a War meeting early in the morning, Ayr; I will let you sleep. I shouldn't be too long."_

_Surely the meeting is finished by now?_ Ayr frowned at the sunlight streaming in and pushed herself from the bed, dressing swiftly in her casual wear and heading out to the Main Keep.

 

Times like these she wished their Bond was as strong as Amaris and Solas' - since then she could have just _tracked_ the Commander's location - but Ayr made do, pausing at the half-empty breakfast table to give the companions a nod, "Has anyone seen Cullen?"

 

"He left the War Room not long ago, Dear Heart," Dorian jerked his head towards the nearby doors, "The Commander was headed towards the gardens, though I could not tell you _why_."

 

"Okay. Thank you, Dorian."

 

Ayr nodded to the group and headed in the specified direction, curiosity rising. What could Cullen be doing in the garden? The chess set was now tucked safely in his office, so it couldn't be _that_.

 

One of the nobles was kind enough to point her towards the little Chantry room they kept for worshipers of the Maker, Ayr's eyebrows lifting as she thanked them and swiftly made her way down the path.

 

The door was left open, and Ayr could hear Cullen's voice from within, spotting him crouched on one knee before the statue of Andraste with his hands clasped and his head bent.

 

"...though all before me is Shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Makers light, and nothing that he has wrought shall be lost."

 

Ayr tried to approach quietly, not wanting to startle him, "A prayer for you?"

 

"For those we have lost. And..." Cullen hesitated, voice softening, "...those I am _afraid_ to lose."

 

"You're afraid?"

 

"Of _course_ I am. Corypheus possessed that Grey Warden at Mythal. What _more_ is he capable of? It's only a matter of time before he retaliates." Cullen pushed to his feet then, gaze turning to her, "We must draw strength wherever we can."

 

Cullen's expression closed off, despair obvious as he crossed towards her, "When the time comes... you will be thrown into his path again, at Amaris' side. I would not try to keep you from fighting with her, but... Andraste preserve me, I must send you to him."

 

"There's nothing to worry about," Ayr tried to reassure him, managing a smile when his gaze settled on her again, "I have _luck_ on my side, remember?"

 

The Commander let out a humorless laugh, though his expression softened somewhat, "That's less comforting then I'd hoped."

 

Ayr stepped forwards at the same time he did, arms wrapping around each other as she buried her face in his mantel, breathing in his familiar scent.

 

"Whatever happens," Cullen's voice was right in her ear, soft and sad and _desperate_ , arms tightening around her, "You _will_ come back, Ayr."

 

"I will." she promised, "We _all_ will."

 

"The thought of losing you... I _can't_."

 

"You _won't,"_ Ayr pulled back so she could cup his face, leaning up to kiss him reassuringly, "We'll make it through this, _all_ of us, just like everything else. I _promise_ , Cullen. I'm not going _anywhere_."

 

"I will hold you to that promise, Ayr," Cullen returned the kiss for a moment before pulling back and _trying_ to smile, arms still tight around her, "I'm sorry for being so melancholy. It seemed a good time to say a prayer, and I'd _thought_ you were still sleeping."

 

"As though I can sleep properly when you're not in bed." Ayr chided, though she was grinning as she said it, "Come on, Commander, let's get some _breakfast_ before the melancholy returns-"

 

" _Kieren!"_

 

The shout made them both freeze, staring at each other for a moment before hurrying out to the garden, just in time to see Morrigan disappearing into the Eluvian's room.

 

"Ayr! Commander!" Amaris' voice called from behind them, "Was that Morrigan? What _happened_?"

 

"Not sure, but she was calling after her _son-_ " Ayr turned around and _stared_ , mouth open, "Amaris, your _face_! What happened to-?"

 

"I'll explain later," Amaris promised, leading the way into the Eluvian chamber and cursing when she saw the mirror was _active_ , "Why would Kieren have...?"

 

"I'll get help," Cullen shared a quick look with Ayr before hurrying back out of the room, leaving the redhead to step up beside her cousin.

 

"Together?" Ayr asked, offering her hand.

 

Amaris nodded, gripping her tightly, "Together."

 

Each taking a deep breath, they grimaced and stepped _through_ , feeling the ripple of energy that accompanied Eluvian's and staring in shock when they emerged on the other side.

 

"This isn't the Crossroads," Amaris muttered, shaking her head as she looked around, "This is the _Fade_. Why would it lead _here_?"

 

"Let's just find Morrigan and get out of here, _quickly_." Ayr winced, keeping tight hold of Amaris' hand as she moved forwards, "I don't like this."

 

Amaris couldn't have agreed more.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

It wasn't until the next afternoon that Amaris was finally able to _explain_ things to her cousin, pulling she and Cullen up to her personal chambers and going over _everything_ that she could, Solas helping as well.

 

Their experience in the Fade the day before - with Flemeth, or Mythal, or _whatever_ she was - had unnerved both of the cousins, though Ayr more so then Amaris, since the redhead wouldn't have understood half of what the Witch was saying.

 

"So he's told you everything, then," Flemeth - she had said to _call_ her Flemeth, so it was likely safest - had smiled approvingly, a slightly unnerving expression on the woman's face, "Good. See that you both _keep_ your promises to each other, Inquisitor; a Wolf is not meant to be alone, after all. They must have a _pack_. One that he seems to have found with _you_."

 

The rest of the experience had been a bit of a blur - Solas' panic at not being able to locate her flowing thickly through their Bond - with Flemeth removing what Morrigan said to be an 'Old Gods soul' from Kieren before returning him, unharmed, to his mother.

 

"Go to the altar, child; you _know_ where it is. _Tame_ the Guardian, and it will do your bidding against Corypheus. Fail... and _die_."

 

"And Morrigan... a soul cannot be forced upon the unwilling. You were never in danger from me."

 

They had left the Fade then - all of them, Morrigan and Kieren, Amaris and Ayr, the redhead shooting her questioning looks all the while - and Solas had been there the moment they stepped from the Eluvian, immediately checking her for injuries, either physical or mental.

 

"I'm _fine_ , Solas," she had assured him, projecting it through the Bond as well, expression set, "And we have yet _another_ task to fulfill."

 

The Altar had been easy to locate - as Flemeth had said, she _knew_ where it was - and with Solas, Ayr, Cassandra and Varric in tow, she had summoned and tamed the Guardian dragon.

 

"Did it work?" she heard Cassandra questioning as the dragon flew away.

 

"It will come when I call it. _Once_. That's all that's needed, however," Amaris had flashed a confident smirk at her group, trying to play the role properly, "Let's go back to Skyhold; we have a lot of preparations to make."

 

They'd gotten back late, and Amaris couldn't find the energy to explain things yet, simply falling into bed and passing out well before Solas joined her.

 

But things, she knew, were swiftly drawing to a point; Corypheus would make his move, soon, and she didn't want _anything_ kept hidden from Ayr.

 

Just... in case.

 

_We will survive this. We will win this battle and all make it home, together._

 

But she still needed to know.

 

So Amaris requested a meeting with Ayr and Cullen - since the Commander was, essentially, Ayr's husband, and she would tell him regardless - and waited anxiously in her rooms, Solas at her side and projecting _calm, confident, relaxed_ in an attempt to keep her focused.

 

Once Ayr and Cullen were settled, they told them everything; Amaris going over what she knew and Solas stepping in with everything else.

 

Cullen didn't know as much about Elvhen Legend and would likely be drilling Ayr for details later, but the Commander paid rapt attention and _did_ catch most of the references, if the way his eyebrows lifted at certain aspects meant anything.

 

Ayr was silent until the end, at which point she scowled, leaned back on the couch, and drawled, "So... I'm related to the _Dread Wolf_ by marriage. That's one hell of a hidden card."

 

"I take it it's a good thing?" Cullen questioned, concealing a grin at her obvious joking.

 

"Let's just say it's a good thing he's on _our side_."

 

"I am." Solas confirmed, shoulders relaxing now that he knew they weren't _angry_ , "You are... _family_ to me, both of you, and good friends. I knew, once Amaris had accepted what I was, I would need to tell you."

 

"But _only_ you," Amaris amended, "Don't tell anyone else, _please_. You can imagine how well it would likely go over with everyone else."

 

"Of course, Amaris."

 

"Don't worry, cous, this isn't something I'd go telling _anyone_. Creators..."

 

"One other thing, Ayr," Amaris caught her cousins eye, "You asked about my Vallaslin. Solas removed it for me."

 

"Oh?"

 

"The marks... don't mean quite what we thought they did."

 

Amaris explained, only slightly surprised by how quiet Ayr was, watching her expression carefully.

 

"I had Solas remove mine, as I do not wish to be bound, even by something so ancient," Amaris reached for Solas' hand, squeezing gratefully and sharing a small smile with him, "It feels... strange, not having them, but I'll get used to it, I'm sure."

 

"I could remove yours as well, if you like, Ayr," Solas offered, sincere, "Though the choice is, of course, yours."

 

Ayr stared at the floor for a moment, glancing at Cullen. The Commander smiled and patted her hand gently, "It's your choice, love. Do what you think is best."

 

"I think..." Ayr licked her lips, thinking, then lifted her gaze to her cousins, "I will keep the Vallaslin."

 

"I understand what the markings _meant_ , what they represented, but now... if anything, keeping them will honor the memory of our Clan, and pay tribute to them. Besides," Ayr's lips pulled in a smile, "It's something _different_ about us, now."

 

Amaris laughed, unable to help it, "Oh, Ayr, you have _always_ been different. You're stronger than me and you always have been."

 

"Have you _seen_ yourself lately, Amaris? Have you seen what you've _accomplished_?" Ayr shot back, smiling widely, " _You're_ the one who's _strong_."

 

Amaris paused, again squeezing Solas' hand, sharing a loving grin with him before looking back at Ayr and Cullen, sitting close together and grinning, "I am strong because I have all of you at my side, Ayr, and our other Companions."

 

"We are with you, Amaris," Cullen confirmed quietly, taking Ayrs hand and sharing a small smile with her, "However you need us."

 

"Glad to hear it. I don't think it will be long, now, before Corypheus makes his final move." Amaris stood, knowing she'd put it off as long as she could, "Come, we've avoided the War Room as long as we can. We must develop a plan for confronting Corypheus. Ayr, Solas, I want you there, this time."

 

Ayr only nodded and crossed the room to give her a hug before leaving with Cullen, Amaris listening to their steps growing fainter before Solas squeezed her hand and brought her back to reality.

 

"Vhenan?" he questioned softly, making her shake her head with a small smile.

 

"It's nothing." she murmured, leading him after her cousin and towards the War Room, hoping it really _was_ nothing and that she was being paranoid.

 

They met the others in the War Room, Leliana and Josephine ready on their side, and a grim air taking over the space as the weight of the imposing discussion settled on them.

 

The Final Stand, the end of the road. They'd almost made it.

 

"Did you find what you _need_ , Inquisitor?" Leliana questioned the moment they'd all entered.

 

"I can match the dragon." Amaris confirmed, "Corypheus, however..."

 

"All that remains is to _find_ Corypheus, before he comes to _us_."

 

"We've been looking for his base since all this began with _no_ success."

 

"His dragon _must_ come and go from _somewhere_ ," Cullen reasoned, Ayr nodding in agreement.

 

"What about the Deep Roads?" Josephine offered, "We could send word to Orzammar-"

 

Whatever else she had intended to say was cut off by Amaris's mark _flaring_ , lighting up the room and giving off static as she sucked in a pained breath.

 

"Vhenan." Solas had his arm around her immediately, scowling at the suddenly active Anchor.

 

It _flashed_ again, drawing their attention to the sky outside... the once sealed Breach now reopening as they watched.

 

"Corypheus." Amaris scowled, lowering her hand once the mark had settled, glaring out at the marking. _No, no, no!_

 

"He did _that_? But _why_?!"

 

"Either I close the Breach again or it swallows the world." Amaris lifted her chin, _anger_ flaring that was a mix of both she and Solas'. They had fought to long, too hard, for it to end there.

 

"But that's _madness_! Wouldn't it kill _him_ as well?"

 

"I doubt he cares anymore, so long as things end on _his_ terms," Ayr growled, just as angry as her cousin.

 

"Inquisitor... we have no forces to send with you," Cullen was scowling, frustrated, likely, that he couldn't help, "Our men are still returning from the Arbor Wilds; we must _wait_ for them."

 

"We can't." Amaris winced, knowing what he was thinking - that going in without the armies support would be crazy - but they didn't have a choice, "I must go _now_ , before it's too late."

 

_Before I lose everything I've fought for. Before everyone is destroyed._

 

"Gather the companions, anyone who is willing to go, we leave as soon as we're armored."

 

"I am with you, Vhenan," Solas swore, determination matching hers in every aspect.

 

"As am I." Ayr lifted her chin and nodded, "I'll meet you at the Gates."

 

Amaris returned the nod and swept from the room with Solas, only hesitating long enough to see Cullen sweeping the redhead into his arms for a moment before the confrontation.

 

_I'll bring her back to you, Cullen._ she swore, flexing her fingers as the Anchor continued to flare, _We will **all** come back._

 

She and Solas donned their armor in silence, emotions flowing through the Bond, strengthening their resolve as they marched out of the Keep.

 

_All_ of their companions were ready and waiting at the Gates, grim and prepared for the fight ahead.

 

"We're with you, Darling," Vivienne swore, the mask of Madame De Fer firmly in place.

 

"Let's go kick some Vint ass." Bull agreed, Chargers cheering behind him.

 

Everyone was there, ready to fight, and Amaris felt a burst of pride as she swung up onto her Elk, nodding to Ayr on her Hart.

 

"Let's go. To the Temple of Sacred Ashes!"

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

They made it to the Temple just as Corypheus overwhelmed the few troops they'd had stationed there with demons, lecturing about 'false Gods' and his own power.

 

Amaris hated him as she had never hated _anyone_ , and she would do _whatever_ it took, here and now, to stop him.

 

The Companions quickly swooped in, felling the demons before they could take out anymore soldiers, Amaris making her way quickly towards the deformed Magister.

 

Corypheus smiled in his gruesome way, giving a mock bow, "I _knew_ you would come."

 

"It ends _here_ , Corypheus!" Amaris snarled, magic ready.

 

"And so it shall." the creature agreed, _heaving_ and sparking red magic, the ground suddenly shaking beneath them.

 

_He's lifting the ruins into the air!_

 

They scrambled to find holds in the rock as they lifted up, _up_ , several of their friends left behind to deal with the monsters on the ground.

 

When _finally_ the ground stopped moving, they staggered back to their feet, Amaris doing a quick headcount - she, Ayr, Solas, Dorian, Cassandra and Varric - before her gaze returned to magister, more than ready to be _done_ with him.

 

"You have done well in foiling my plans," Corypheus sneered, staring down at her, "But let us not forget what you _are_. A _thief_ , in the wrong place, at the wrong time. An interloper, a _gnat_. We shall prove, here, once and for all, which of us is worthy of godhood!"

 

"I am not _interested_ in being a God!" Amaris snarled back, "I came here to _stop_ you, Corypheus, nothing more!"

 

He _stared_ at her for a moment, a familiar _crunching_ noise rising from behind him, and Amaris used every ounce of power she had to _call_ as she'd been instructed, staring him down even as his black dragon arose behind him.

 

The dragon _roared_ and swooped - only to be knocked aside by Mythal's Guardian with a deafening _shriek_ , sending both beasts tumbling into the sky in a mass of wings and talons.

 

"You _dare_?" the Magister stepped forwards, lifting his arms to begin casting.

 

Amaris beat him to it, flinging magic even as she summoned a barrier, fed up and frustrated and _done_ with the creatures games, "I _dare_! And you will _fall_!"

 

Her attack triggered the others, spells and arrows flying while Cassandra dodged around him, using their cover to attack from behind.

 

Fire flew from Ayr, Rift and Spirit spells from Solas, Necromancy from Dorian, Ice from Amaris herself.

 

Varric's arrows flew fast and hit hard, coated in poisons and bombs and Creators only knew what, giving Cassandra the chance to dodge away or block a swing, to slash hard without losing momentum.

 

They chased the deformed creature through the ruins, up stairs and around walls, the dragons screeching and fighting in the air overhead.

 

Corypheus yelled insults at them all the while, but Amaris didn't care, didn't listen; all she cared about was stopping him, once and for all, and making sure they were _safe_.

 

She had _lost_ her Clan; she would _not_ lose her friends, her family, or anyone _else_ to this monster.

 

They chased him until the dragon's screeching came from _directly_ overhead, dodging out of the way as both beasts came tumbling to the ground.

 

When the dust cleared, Amaris' heart sank; the Guardian was gone, but Corypheus' dragon remained. Bleeding and injured, yes, but still standing.

 

"Amaris! Don't falter _now_!" Ayr's shout snapped her from her daze, the redhead already flinging spells at the beast, "We can _do_ this! Focus on the legs!"

 

"Right!"

 

Ayr was right. They had killed nightmares, demons, _dragons_ ; they could kill _this_ dragon, and it's master.

 

"Spread out! Don't let it target you!"

 

They circled it, all of them, attacking the legs and keeping its attention divided, never pausing longer than necessary.

 

Finally, _finally_ , the beast seemed to crumple, snarling and lifting its head for one more attack.

 

Amaris was _done_ ; she spun and struck out with the sharp end of her staff, spell cutting through the creatures neck and _finishing_ it with a last bellowing roar.

 

Red energy left it's back, flying away to a higher balcony - and there was Corypheus, scowling down at them, now _trapped_ in his own twisted body.

 

"You _dare_ touch a God!" he roared, disappearing from sight as the red magic began to whirl again, "You will _pay_ for this outrage!"

 

"Quickly!" Amaris dashed across the way, leading the charge up the stairs and ignoring the heaviness in her limbs, the scratches and bruises and cuts that could be dealt with _later_.

 

She reached the top of the now broken stairs and leapt down, the others following as they approached the lifted area where Corypheus was casting, Orb floating above him and channeling to the Breach.

 

"He's trying to tear apart the Veil!" Solas cursed, magic already flying, "We must stop him!"

 

"You _cannot_ stop me!" the Magister crowed, still attacking despite his focus on the Orb, his weakening strength.

 

Still they chipped away, wearing down his health and his strength, till the man seemed desperate and weak, Amaris spotting an opening and darting forwards. _Get the Orb, get the Orb-!_

 

Corypheus spun and caught her in the chest with a spell, an _oof_! escaping her as it did nothing but knock her to the ground.

 

"Not like this!" she heard him rambling, "I have walked the halls of the Golden City! Crossed the Ages!"

 

Amaris flexed her hand, the Anchor flaring as she pushed back to her feet, approaching the monster from behind.

 

"Do not, Ancient Ones, I beseech you! If you exist, if you ever _truly_ existed-!"

 

Following Solas' directions through the Bond, Amaris extended her hand and let the mark flare for a moment before _ripping_ her hand back as though closing a Fade Rift, the Orb _flying_ from Corypheus' grip to hover above her palm.

 

She held it steady for a moment as the creature crashed to his knees, _staring_ at the object that had unintentionally _caused_ the Breach and the Anchor, and every Fade Rift since.

 

"Amaris!" Solas shouted, "Now! Close the Breach, _quickly_!"

 

Steeling herself, Amaris lifted the orb above her head and _focused_ , a beam of green energy _shooting_ up into the breach as it had when it was created, clouds swirling and reforming as the rift _sealed_ itself once more.

 

Anchor still buzzing with energy, Amaris dropped the now useless orb and strode towards the cowering Magister, letting her anger rise hot and potent to the surface even as she vaguely noted pieces of the Temple beginning to _crash_ around them.

 

"You wanted into the Fade?" she demanded, snarling as she aimed the Anchor right _at_ him, opening a miniature Fade Rift that _sucked_ him through it with an agonized scream.

 

"Vhenan!"

 

"Amaris! Move!"

 

_Now_ the Temple was crumbling in earnest as the lifted pieces began to fall back to the ground, crashing against each other and sending debris flying.

 

They ran - all of them, together - flying face first to the ground as the Temple _fell_ , leaving them all coughing and staggering but _alive_ , so very _alive_.

 

Amaris _shoved_ to her feet once the ground had stopped shaking, coughing as the dust settled, spotting the others together - Ayr helping Dorian up with a laugh, Varric and Cassandra brushing each other off - and immediately following the tug of the Bond, finding Solas where she'd thought he'd be.

 

"Can we fix it?" she questioned softly, approaching him as he inspected the shattered Orb, feeling a mix of _despair, acceptance_ , and _relief_ flowing from him.

 

"No. But the path I had intended to use it for is no longer the one I walk." Solas gently set the Orb back down, standing and turning to her with a look of utter _relief_ , "What's important is that you are _alive_."

 

Amaris crossed the space immediately, arms wrapping around each other as she buried her face in his shoulder, breathing deeply and trying to still the utter _happiness_ she felt, "We're _both_ alive. As are the others. We made it, Solas."

 

"We did." his emotions were clear, then, flowing freely as he tipped her chin up to kiss her, grip tight on her waist, "Vhenan, you are a true miracle. You have done what no one thought possible. And now, perhaps, we will have a moments _peace_."

 

"Amaris! Solas! Are you alright?"

 

"C'mon, guys! We gotta find the _others_!"

 

"Let's get back to Skyhold _before_ we make with the kissy-faces alright?"

 

"Perhaps _later_ , Vhenan," Amaris laughed brightly when he grumbled and reluctantly released her, though he kept tight hold of her hand, "Let's go assure our companions we're _alive_."

 

"As you wish, Amaris." Solas murmured fondly, allowing her to lead him back down the steps to where the Temple now _did_ meet the ground, the others mulling about.

 

He _did_ release her when Ayr grabbed her in a tight hug, Amaris squeezing her cousin back just as much as that frisson of _happiness_ again flared that they were _alive, all of them._

 

Solas made a slight noise of surprise when Ayr then hugged _him_ tightly, to, though he allowed a small smile and hugged the younger elf back after a moment, clearly not as put off by the affection as he'd at first appeared.

 

There were hugs all around, then, between their small group - even Varric and Cassandra joining in - all of them just thrilled to be _alive_.

 

Then they heard the shouts of the others - the ones left behind when Corypheus had lifted the Temple into the air - and all headed towards the voices, grinning and laughing.

 

"There they are!" Amaris heard Bull shout as they came into sight, making their way carefully down the rocky slopes to the rest of them.

 

"Then it's _over_ ," Vivienne sighed, looking tired but otherwise no worse for wear, "How _lovely_."

 

"And the sky is _healed_ , whole!" Cole breathed, staring up at the sealed Breach, "There's just _that_ left to remember."

 

"Looks that way." Amaris agreed.

 

"What do we do now?"

 

Amaris felt Solas squeeze her hand, and turned to smile at him, affection and intent clear through the Bond.

 

"We go back to Skyhold." she announced, taking the last few steps down to the main level and addressing one of the Agents still present, "Send work back to the Keep; Corypheus is defeated. It's time for a proper celebration - even if it's a small one."

 

"Yes, Inquisitor!"

 

"Shall we, Vhenan?" Solas gestured, grip tight on her hand.

 

"Let's go home." Amaris agreed, letting him lead her back towards the mounts, the voices and laughter of the others echoing around them as they walked.

 

Ayr caught her eye as she moved to walk on her other side, catching her free hand with a silly grin and letting them swing back and forth between them as they moved.

 

_We did it_.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

They arrived to a Hero's welcome at Skyhold, cheers and applause greeting them the moment they stepped inside the Gates.

 

Dismounting, Amaris again caught Solas' hand and strode at the front of the procession, Ayr walking at her other side.

 

_Everyone_ in the Keep had gathered in the Courtyard, cheering them on as they made their way towards the main stairs, the advisors gathered up on the second platform.

 

Ayr went running the moment her feet hit the level, _shrieking_ happily as Cullen caught her midstride and swung her around with a smirk, kissing her the moment they had settled again to a _thunderous_ roar of cheers.

 

Clearly, his happiness at seeing Ayr alive had outweighed the Commander's shyness.

 

Amaris returned the half bows of Leliana and Josephine and tightened her hold on Solas' hand as she stepped up to the edge of the platform to look out on the gathered people, sending them into another frenzy of cheers and applause.

 

"When you are ready, my Lady," Leliana caught her attention, smiling that secretive smile as the rest of their companions headed up into the Main Keep, "We have managed to prepare a small banquet, to celebrate. Not as _grand_ as Josephine would have liked, but it should suffice."

 

"There was no _time_ to prepare a grand Banquet!" Josephine huffed, looking both put out and pleased, "But I hope it will do, for now."

 

"I'm sure it's _lovely_ , Josephine," Amaris laughed, sharing a quick look with Solas, "Let us just get _out_ of this armor, and we can celebrate."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

For all of Josephine's worries that the banquet wasn't 'grand' enough, Amaris was more than happy with the turn out for the celebration.

 

Because it was so last minute - right on the heels of their victory, after all - it meant it was really only their closest friends and those who always remained at Skyhold who were present.

 

Amaris had made sure to spend time with _each_ of their companions, some planning to depart shortly for pressing matters, others to stay for a while.

 

Dorian she had caught telling Ayr that he would be staying for some time, as he was not overtly thrilled at the thought of going home and leaving his dear friends behind.

 

Blackwall would be headed to the Wardens, Sera would be hanging around a while longer, Bull wasn't entirely sure yet... Cole wanted to stay, and that was fine by both she and Solas. Varric and Cassandra... well, she hadn't actually _seen_ them since halfway through the feast, so she wasn't sure on their parts.

 

They'd had a main table setup at the front of the Hall, of course - the Throne shoved back and out of the way - though they'd mostly wandered around and conversed, only sitting while they were eating.

 

Partway through the Feast - _before_ Cassandra and Varric had disappeared - Cullen had stood up suddenly, pulling Ayr with him and clearing his throat to get everyone's attention.

 

"A few people already _know_ this," he drawled, giving Ayr a fake-glare that she only laughed at, "But I have an announcement. I know everyone has their own lives to get back to, and some plan to leave shortly. I would ask that you wait just a bit longer, as I would have you all at Ayr and I's wedding."

 

A _roar_ went up as the words sunk in, various people coming up to congratulate the couple while others cheered and applauded, whispering excitedly about the event.

 

"I shall have to put my return to Val Royeaux off for a while yet, it seems," Vivienne murmured approvingly, eyeing Ayr, "Ayr, darling, you simply _must_ let me see to your dress, I promise you will _love_ it."

 

"If you like, Vivienne," Ayr laughed, blushing and smiling and _happy_ , curling contentedly on Cullen's lap when he sat and pulled her down with him.

 

"We're staying for the wedding, _obviously_ ," Mia informed her brother with a _look_ , though she was smiling, "We shall have to return home afterwards, however. We've been away long enough. Perhaps you can come visit, once you have the chance to take a vacation?"

 

"We will, Mia." Cullen promised, Ayr nodding in agreement.

 

The rest of the night passed swiftly, people coming and going, most of the Companions remaining till late in the night.

 

It was only after Ayr and Cullen had excused themselves for the night - sharing a look that was rather _obvious_ \- that Amaris decided she had had enough of the festivities, and would prefer a more _private_ celebration.

 

Because she knew what she wanted, right now.

 

And judging by the emotions coming through the Bond, and Solas' tight grip and wide grin, he knew, too.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

"I can't _believe_ this!" Ayr was laughing and shaking as she flung the door open and stepped into Cullen's office, happiness and _disbelief_ obvious in her voice, "After _continuously_ denying that they felt _anything_ for each other, we catch them going at it!"

 

"I don't think they expected anyone to walk _in_ on them, Ayr," Cullen was chuckling as well, closing and locking the door behind them as he began to remove his outer armor, "They forgot, perhaps, that the Rotunda is the quickest way to my office."

 

" _I'll_ say! But hey, if it means they quit _pretending_ , all the power to them!"

 

Ayr and Cullen had left the celebrations not _to_ late into the night, perhaps half an hour after Cassandra and Varric. And they'd been shocked to find the Seeker and the Dwarf all over each other just inside the Rotunda's stairwell, not even out of sight.

 

Cassandra had blushed and stammered before _dragging_ Varric away up the stairs, the Dwarfs laughter echoing along behind them.

 

"I would say they have pretended long enough, yes," Cullen let his grieves, coat and breastplate slump onto the couch, grin turning slightly wicked as he crept up behind the redheaded elf, "But enough about _them_..."

 

"Why? You don't find it interesting- _CULLEN!_ " Ayr _shrieked_ when he picked her up and spun her around for the second time that night, giggling uncontrollably when he set her feet back on the ground and nuzzled behind her ear, "Don't _scare_ me like that!"

 

"You're _alive_." Cullen breathed, grip on her waist tightening as the words calmed her laughter, lips pressing affectionately to that damn spot, "You came _back_ , Ayr. I didn't _lose_ you."

 

"I'm alive." Ayr responded quietly, turning in his grip so she could hug him back, just content to be in his arms for the moment, "We're both _alive_."

 

"Thank the Maker." the Commander squeezed her closer, nose buried in her hair, inhaling deeply.

 

Ayr couldn't help it; a tiny giggle left her throat, growing stronger when he made a confused sound into her hair, "When we first met," she laughed, "This was _not_ how I expected my life to be, today. You _hated_ me."

 

"I did not _hate_ you," Cullen grumbled, though his tone was affectionate, "I just... _disliked_ your tendency to ignore authority."

 

"Clearly _something changed_."

 

" _Everything_ changed, Ayr." he was serious again, pulling back so he could tilt her chin up and look her in the eye, grin soft, "I got to know you. Got to see who you really _were_. And I fell for that woman, _hard_. Fell deeply and completely for the brash fire mage willing to offer herself up to save a friend, the young woman always more worried about others then herself."

 

"As I fell for the stubborn Commander who _still_ forgets to eat unless I remind him." Ayr whispered back, smiling and blushing, "Ar lath ma, Vhenan. I love you. I'm afraid you are _quite_ stuck with me."

 

"Ar lath ma, Ayr Lavellan." his gaze turned wicked again, eyes molten gold, "Soon to be Ayr _Rutherford,_ if you have no qualms taking my name."

 

"None." Ayr leaned up, kissing him softly, whimpering when he deepened the touch and pulled her tighter against him, "What do you _want_ , Cullen?"

 

"I want..." Cullen trailed kisses from her mouth to her ear, down her throat and along the expanse of skin bared by her shirt collar, "To have a family with you, Ayr. To settle down and have _kids_ , with no wars or demons looming overhead. In the _immediate_..." he _bit_ down on her throat, soothing the sting with his tongue, "...I want to make love to you, over and over, for as long as you like, with no duties or War Meetings to wake up to."

 

"Then what are we waiting for." Ayr purred, her hand slipping between them and _squeezing_ him through his breaches, darting away to the ladder with a laugh when he _growled_.

 

She was up the ladder and through the opening before Cullen had finished ripping his shirt off over his head, discarding his breaches and small clothes before following quickly after.

 

The Commander had barely hit stable ground when his arms were full of very warm, very _naked_ elf, Ayr wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist to keep herself anchored and _laughing_ when he responded by kissing her hungrily, hands gripping her ass to keep her steady.

 

Backing up, Cullen sank onto the bed at Ayr's urging and _hissed_ when she stroked herself along his shaft, sliding between her moist folds but not slipping inside.

 

" _Ayr_..." he groaned when she shifted so she was straddling him properly, knees on the bed on either side of his hips, leaving her spread and glistening just above his aching cock.

 

"Shhh, Cullen, let me just-" Ayr's hand was around him for just a moment before she squirmed and pushed the head inside, sighing blissfully as she slowly sank down onto him, " _Vhenan_."

 

Cullen's only answer was a low groan and his hands gripping her hips, gritting his teeth to keep from howling the moment their hips met and her heat gripped around him.

 

"Cullen. Vhenan. _Husband_." Ayr's hands were on his shoulders, eyes lustful and happy, " _Move_."

 

Cullen growled and tightened his grip, hips snapping up to drive himself deeper into her, "As you wish, _Wife_."

 

It was a harder position for him to thrust in, but Ayr moved, to, lifting and lowering herself as he thrust, running along the length of him with every movement.

 

He caught her lips when he felt himself getting close, catching her surprised moan when he rolled them over; still on the edge of the bed but with him on top, her legs wrapped around his waist as he began to thrust in earnest.

 

She was close - he could feel it in her grip on his shoulders, the tight hold of her legs around him, the way she dug her nails into his skin - and a brush of his lips over her sensitive spot had her tumbling, shrieking and clinging to him as her body spasmed in release.

 

Her finish triggered his own, thrusting once more before _filling_ her with a groan, praying that, just maybe, his seed would take root.

 

But even if it didn't, this time, they had all the time in the world, now.

 

Ayr was smiling as he shifted them further onto the bed, eyes bright and knowing as she watched him.

 

"Cullen." she murmured, lifting her hand to ghost over his cheek, "Don't tell me you're sated?"

 

"Oh, Ayr," Cullen chuckled, bending to kiss her, "We're just getting _started_."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

When Amaris and Solas finally left the Main Hall and the party-goers behind, they didn't say a word.

 

Not to any of the others, or to each other.

 

They didn't need to. They could feel each other - their thoughts, wants, _desires_ \- through the Bond, and agreed almost at the same time that it was _time_ , that they had stayed long enough.

 

They needed their _privacy_ , now, their time alone.

 

And even though they'd been intimate a number of times, Amaris found herself growing shy.

 

Because she didn't just want sex. She wanted...

 

They entered their rooms without a word - _their_ rooms, they had not just been _her_ rooms in ages, now - and ascended the steps, chilled air from the open doors greeting them.

 

Solas left her to close the doors and light the fireplace while Amaris disrobed, not shy about her body and not minding at all if Solas saw her naked.

 

He crossed back to her once the fireplace had been lit, as bare as she was asides from his wolf jaw pendent.

 

"Such turmoil, Vhenan," Solas mumbled tenderly, one hand around her waist to press her close while the other traced her jaw, his calm in direct contrast to the hardness pressing against her, "What is it you are thinking of, that your thoughts are tied so?"

 

"I..." Amaris swallowed, suddenly hesitant, "Solas, I want..."

 

"Remember what I said, Amaris, Vhenan," his voice was soft, affectionate, "I will give you anything you want. You have but to ask."

 

"I want..." still words failed her, and she tried to project through the Bond, the thing she longed for _most_ , now that the war was finished.

 

Solas dropped to one knee before her, arms around her to press her close, nuzzling the flat expanse of her belly.

 

"You want a child." he finished for her, eyes nearly black as he stared at her from his crouch.

 

"Yes." Amaris finally managed to whisper, knees trembling, "I want a child, Solas, _your_ child. I want a family."

 

Solas considered her for a moment, nuzzling the skin by her belly button, before pressing a kiss there, "I can give you that, Vhenan. If you're sure."

 

"I'm sure." she answered immediately, heat flaring in her belly at the sudden lust in his gaze, "Fill me, Solas. Take me, and let your seed grow."

 

Solas rose to his feet swiftly, growling "As you wish, Vhenan," before kissing her, hard and hungry, releasing her only to whisper "The _bed_ , Amaris."

 

She moved to it immediately, Solas stalking after her like the predator he was, all fluid grace and intent.

 

Amaris crawled on the bed and laid back against their pillows, spreading her legs and opening herself to him as he settled atop her.

 

Solas kissed her gently, tenderly, bending her legs so her knees were lifted to either side of his hips, cock prodding at her slit but not pushing in just yet.

 

"Amaris, Vhenan, one last time," he groaned against her mouth, seeking confirmation, " _What do you want_?"

 

" _I want you_." Amaris whispered back, kissing him desperately, "and all you will give me, Solas, _please_."

 

"Very well, Vhenan'ara." Solas growled, shifting his hips and entering her in a quick thrust, burying himself to the hilt.

 

Amaris threw her head back with a cry of pleasure, gripping him as he immediately started moving, stoking her fire quicker than he ever had before.

 

She didn't know what the difference was - why male elves could _choose_ when they impregnated their partner, why they could control it - but Keeper Deshanna had simply said they _could_ , not going into details.

 

Amaris only prayed it was true, even as her mind succumbed to the hazy pleasure shooting through her at every stroke, every thrust of his cock inside of her, every groan and whisper that left his lips.

 

Solas built her up and then threw her headfirst over the edge, screaming as her release swept over her in a sudden rush of heat, hearing him curse and continue to thrust as she slumped into the pillows.

 

Then he _howled_ , burying himself deep, and Amaris felt the rush of warmth as he filled her, but it seemed... different. Warmer, almost _tingly_ , a pleasant sort of _spark_ that warmed her as it settled.

 

Solas bent to kiss her after a moment, still seated deep inside her, nuzzling her cheek affectionately, "Alright, Vhenan?"

 

"More than alright," Amaris whispered back, feeling happy and sated and _warm_ , so very _warm_ , "Am I...?"

 

"Give it a moment, let it take root," Solas was grinning, a mixture of affection and mischief, "And _then_ , Vhenan, I should like to ensure the _potency_ , if you're amenable."

 

"As many times as you like, Solas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D I HOPE THAT WAS GOOD I STAYED UP PAST MY BEDTIME TO FINISH IT.
> 
> AS I SAID, there is more to come!!!! There will be post-game shenanigans! So any of you people who wanted to see Ayr and Cullens wedding, or BABIES, STICK AROUND!
> 
> I hope I did the battle justice! And I'm actually pretty proud of the smut so HERE'S HOPING IT WAS GOOD TO.
> 
> KUDOS AND COMMENTS MAKE MY DAY! <3 <3


	16. Coming Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaris heads to the Hissing Wastes to take care of lose ends - before certain things become obvious.
> 
> A new edition is made to the family.
> 
> Familiar faces turn up at Skyhold.
> 
> And - finally - a wedding is held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! NEW CHAPTER FINALLY!
> 
> Not super long, and no full smut this time - sorry!!! - but I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless!
> 
> Not going to lie, I'm super excited to write the NEXT chapter... but I hope you'll like this one as well!
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy! <3

"There's still a fairly large Red Templar population out in the Hissing Wastes; remnants of the Order, likely sent there ages ago. They've been digging up old Dwarven Ruins."

 

"Even with Corypheus gone, they could pose a threat. This isn't something we can just ignore."

 

"The Hissing Wastes are _vast_ , my Lady, you would likely be gone at _least_ a month, if not more."

 

Amaris shared a look with Solas, questioning through the Bond, and he nodded, lifting her hands to his lips.

 

"Better to handle it now, then to wait." he murmured, both reasons clear to Amaris while only the one filtered to everyone else.

 

"Agreed."

 

It had been rare, even while fighting Corypheus, that _all_ of their Companions were present at breakfast.

 

And yet when they had dressed and stumbled down to the Main Hall _well_ after noon the next day, Amaris and Solas found _everyone_ at the long table, picking at an assortment of fruit and breakfast foods.

 

Ayr and Cullen had arrived at about the same time, rubbing sleep from their eyes and looking content, her cousin shooting Cassandra a _knowing_ look that had the Seeker blushing and looking away - one Amaris would have to investigate, later.

 

They had all fallen into idle chatter - about who was staying for how long, where people were headed off to, what still needed to be fixed - before Josephine had rather reluctantly pointed out the reports.

 

"Perhaps they do not even _know_ Corypheus is defeated," Josephine paused to take a dainty bite from one of the Orlesian cakes she'd ordered, smiling at the taste, "Regardless... it would be unwise to leave them, active as they are."

 

"I agree. We'd best prepare for an expedition, then, leaving tomorrow, if possible," Amaris let her gaze fall to Ayr, "Ayr, I would have you with me, for this."

 

It was so _early_ into it that hurting it shouldn't be possible... but having her cousin there would make her feel better, if nothing else.

 

"Is that even a question?" Ayr laughed, shaking her head, "Of _course_ I'm going with you, Amaris. As if you could _stop_ me."

 

"Perhaps I can join you as well, this time," Cullen mused, grip on the redhead tightening with a grin, "It would certainly be a welcome _change-_ "

 

"Ah-ah, not so fast, _Commander_ ," Leliana slid a new stack of papers towards him, " _You_ are not going _anywhere_. We have had _more_ recruits showing up in the past weeks then we've been able to train; you need to decide where they're to be _stationed_. And don't forget, Ser Rylen just completed the siege of Griffon Wing Keep in the Western Approach. You'll need to look after _those_ reports and supply lines, as well."

 

Cullen scowled, sighing wearily, "It never ends, does it?"

 

"There will be plenty of time for adventuring, Cullen," Ayr tried to cheer him up, kissing his cheek fondly, "Promise."

 

"And a month will give us _plenty_ of time to prepare for your wedding, Darling. I'll just need to double check your measurements before you go, Ayr," Vivienne smiled widely, "Why not take a vacation after _that_? Just the two of you?"

 

"I suppose we _could_ ," the Commander brightened again, gaze on Ayr, "Things _should_ be more settled, by then."

 

"You _were_ wanting to visit Ferelden, Cullen." Ayr agreed, curling happily against his chest, "Why don't we do that?"

 

"Perhaps..."

 

"So that settles it, then." Vivienne finished her tea with a flourish and stood from the table, smiling _brilliantly_ , "I'll get to planning, Darlings. Ayr, _do_ come see me before you leave, alright?"

 

The mage was gone then, leaving the rest of the group to look at each other and laugh.

 

"That's that, I guess."

 

"Yes. Let's make preparations, then, and leave tomorrow."

 

Amaris leaned back into Solas with a pleased _hum_ , his hands clasped over hers on her flat belly, concealing the secret she _knew_ was growing there, slowly.

 

_The main threat is gone. Now is the time to take care of the remnants._ Amaris gripped his hands tighter, sighing when he returned the touch, _Before certain things are **obvious**._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Just over a month later, the letter arrived that the Inquisitor and her companions were returning from the Hissing Wastes, and would reach Skyhold in perhaps two weeks.

 

_Finally_.

 

They had kept in constant contact with Skyhold, of course; crows coming and going on a regular basis, both to update on the missions status and check in with things at the Keep.

 

Cullen felt just a little better every time he received a letter from Ayr, always sending a response. It helped, having the reassurance that she was okay, that everything was fine.

 

Though Cullen had discovered that if he focused - _really_ focused - he could _feel_ her, just a very vague sort of aura, just enough to tell she was alive and well.

 

A result, perhaps, of their Bonding.

 

The letters had kept him going during the time she was gone, the written words so typically _Ayr_ he could practically hear her voice while he read them.

 

But, he had to admit, his staying behind _had_ likely been for the best. He had, after all, managed to get all the necessary paperwork done.

 

Had managed to assign every new recruit to a specified task or outpost, splitting them between Skyhold and the other small fortresses they maintained; Caer Bronach, Suledin Keep and, most recently, Griffon Wing Keep in the Western Approach.

 

Cullen had even managed to give _input_ on the wedding planning, though the women had mostly taken over; Vivienne, Josephine and Leliana had everything under control, they assured him, and even Mia and Rosalie were helping out.

 

"I've even managed to contact a few _special_ guests," Leliana had grinned mischievously one night at dinner, "I am sure you will be _most_ pleased, Commander."

 

_That_ had made him slightly wary, but Leliana would say no more and he had mostly forgotten about it by the time the party was due to return.

 

They hadn't been able to pinpoint an exact _day_ , of course; it would depend on weather, if anyone was injured, if they met any hostiles on the way, etc, etc...

 

They had word from Ser Rylen when the party stopped briefly at Griffon Wing Keep, then the Baron Desjardins when they passed through Suledin Keep in the Emprise Du Lion.

 

Still, Cullen kept himself occupied less he worry or drive himself mad waiting, and so was in the training ring sparring with the men when the bell went off signalling the Inquisitors return.

 

Cullen immediately dropped his sword and shield and vaulted the fence of the ring, striding swiftly for the lower courtyard without a seconds hesitation.

 

Others had gathered, of course, wanting to welcome the Inquisitor and her companions back, but while Cullen was as relieved as anyone to see Amaris well, his attention was focused elsewhere.

 

Namely the big Red Hart that entered the Gates in the middle of the company, her rider a sight for sore eyes that made his heart thump and his grin widen.

 

She hadn't noticed him just yet, weaving his way through the crowd towards her, struggling with some sort of bundle and frowning slightly in frustration.

 

Cullen was too thrilled to see her after a month and a half apart to really question the reasons at that moment, calling out once he was in hearing range, "Ayr! Makers _breath_ , you are a sight for sore eyes, love."

 

"Cullen!" Ayr's expression switched to one of excitement when she spotted him, swinging her leg over her Hart so she could slide off towards him once he was close enough, "Catch, Vhenan!"

 

" _Careful_ , Vhenan," Cullen chided even as he laughed, stepping forwards to catch her hips as she slid off her mount, wrapping his arms firmly around her to anchor her against his chest, "Maker, have I _missed_ you-"

 

Cullen cut off when the bundle she still held _yipped_ softly, a warm tongue suddenly licking his chin and making his gaze snap down in surprise.

 

Two big brown eyes stared back at him, tongue lolling goofily out of the little creatures mouth as it whined, yipping again.

 

"Is that...?"

 

"A Mabari." Ayr finished, grinning at his shocked look, "Poor little fellow was the only one of his litter to survive; I found him at Suledin Keep, where one of the Baron's men had brought his mother. Didn't know she was pregnant. He said I could take him."

 

"Why did you...?"

 

"I remembered you mentioning you liked Mabari," Ayr was smiling shyly now, laughing when the puppy licked _her_ chin, "And I thought, well, why _not_? The wars _over_ , why shouldn't we have a dog?"

 

The redhead paused, biting her lip and watching him anxiously, "Do... you like him?"

 

"I love him." Cullen finally managed, slightly overwhelmed but so very, very happy, "I love _you_. How are you _real_ , Ayr?"

 

"It's not that big of a deal, Cullen-"

 

The Commander cut her off by leaning forwards to kiss her - not caring, after nearly two months of separation, who saw - and mumbling against her lips "You have given me more happiness then I deserve." his tone was affectionate, filled with every ounce of love he felt for the woman in his arms, "And I will do everything in my power to give you the same, Ayr. I love you."

 

"I love you to, Cullen," Ayr whispered, leaning into him to kiss him again, "I _missed_ you. I'm happy to be _home_."

 

“How was the trip?” Cullen stepped back but kept one arm looped loosely around her waist, grabbing the Harts reigns in his other hand as he turned towards the stables, “No major problems? Everything went well?”

 

“Cullen, you _got_ the reports, didn’t you?” Ayr was laughing, letting him lead her while keeping tight hold to the wiggly puppy still cradled in her arms, “You _know_ all the details already.”

 

“Yes, but I’d rather hear them from _you_ , love.” he was grinning stupidly and he knew it, honestly not caring as they stepped into the shelter of the stables, “Mostly because I missed your voice and wanted some time _alone_.”

 

“The mission went well.” Ayr rolled her eyes but grinned back, “We took out the remaining Red Templars - _and_ a whole bunch of Venatori, since the Wastes were _crawling_ with them. There was a ton of _Dwarven_ ruins out there, too! It was amazing, all these old tombs buried under the sands - oi, pup, calm down! Yeesh, hold on…”

 

Ayr pulled briefly from his grasp so she could crouch down and set the wiggly puppy on the ground, untangling it from the blanket she’d had him wrapped in and letting him roam freely. Cullen watched all the while, handing the Hart off to one of the stable hands to put in her pen.

 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been calling him Bounder,” Ayr straightened and laughed, motioning towards the puppy that was now happily _bounding_ around the stable area, “And _that’s_ why, silly thing can’t stay still for more than a minute unless he’s _napping_. We can probably change it, if you don’t like it-”

 

“I think it suits fine.” Cullen was still grinning, still elated by the fact that she was _back_ , safe and sound, and he gave in to the urge to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her against his chest again, leaning down to bump their noses together affectionately, “I’m just happy you’re back, Ayr.”

 

“As am I.” the redhead’s smile softened, hands sliding up his chest and around his neck to keep him close, tilting her head in a silent invitation that he was all too happy to accept.

 

Cullen kissed her slowly at first, gently, re-familiarizing himself with the feel of her lips against his, the skin chapped from her time in the desert but still soft and inviting.

 

Then he angled his head and deepened the touch, taking the opportunity when she sighed to slip his tongue past her lips and tangle it with hers.

 

Cullen cupped her cheek and angled her head so he could press closer, the hand on her waist shifting lower to grip her tighter against him, delighting in the little whimper the action elicited and just about ready to sweep her away-

 

-when a _woof_! sounded right below them and a fuzzy body wiggled between them, Cullen pulling back to lift an eyebrow at the puppy now balancing against his legs and wagging his tail up at him.

 

“Cheeky little pup.” Cullen tried to be annoyed by the interruption and couldn’t be, shaking his head ruefully and bending to scoop the determined little creature up, “I can see you’re going to be an _attention_ hog, Bounder.”

 

“Definitely.” Ayr reached up to scratch the pups chin, still smiling as Bounder gave a happy yip and leaned into her touch, “I think he’d like to _play_ for a bit before we can sneak away, Cullen.”

 

“By all means, then, little rascal.”

 

It was nearly dark by the time they’d worn Bounder out, the puppy disappearing into Red’s stall with a last quiet ‘yip’.

 

“He slept with the mounts the _whole time_ we were travelling,” Ayr explained, taking Cullen’s hand and pointedly pulling him towards the stairs to the Keeps kitchen, “He’ll be fine. I, however, am _famished_. And then I want nothing more than to sleep in _our_ bed. So sick of tents and sleeping alone.”

 

“By all means.” the Commander agreed softly, letting her lead him as she liked, helping her carry a tray full of simple foods - some cheese and fresh bread with butter, two mugs of warm mead - back through the Keep to his office.

 

They spoke quietly while they ate, going over everything they’d missed, talking about the plans for the wedding - Cullen informing her that there would be ‘surprise guests’, and that Leliana was going to be the next _Divine_ \- and just enjoying the quiet moments together.

 

When they’d finished, Cullen shooed Ayr up to the loft with a quick kiss, cleaning up and locking the doors before following after.

 

Ayr had taken off the top portions of her armor, and clad only in her breastband and pants, Cullen had a clear view of the myriad of red scratches that covered her back, looking faint but still tender.

 

He crossed to stand behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and gently ghosting a hand over the red marks. “What happened?” he mumbled, concerned; she hadn’t mentioned being injured in any of her letters.

“Just irritation from the sand, Cullen,” Ayr assured him, turning to smile at him over her shoulder, “Camping in the Hissing Wastes is _not_ something I plan to do _ever again_.”

 

“What about this one?” Cullen ran his finger along a darker mark, running from her left shoulder to her hip.

 

Ayr sighed, leaning back into his touch, “We didn’t realize we’d camped close to an active Fade Rift until the demons showed up; a terror got lucky and scratched me while my coat was off. I’m fine, Cullen, I promise.”

 

“You didn’t tell me you got hurt.” Cullen frowned, turning her around so he could see her face, “You should have-”

 

“Can you feel me?” Ayr cut him off, flushing, “Through the Bond, I mean.”

 

“Vaguely, yes.”

 

“And did it ever seem like anything was wrong?”

 

Cullen thought back, trying to remember, “No. You always seemed to be fine.”

 

“Exactly. That’s why I didn’t mention it; I didn’t want to worry you needlessly.” Ayr lifted her hands to frame his face, smiling brightly, “I’m just…. not quite up to certain _activities_ right now, because of it. I hope that’s okay…?”

 

“Vhenan, so long as I have you in my arms again, I’m happy.” Cullen answered honestly, bending to kiss her lovingly.

 

Ayr hummed happily, and they separated long enough to finish undressing before crawling into bed, Cullen lying on his back with Ayr half-draped over his chest.

 

The redhead pushed herself up on her elbows and bent down to kiss him again; a slow, affectionate touch, a sort of reconnection after the time apart.

 

Cullen was content as they were - with the gentle touches and her warm and alive in his arms - and didn’t notice she was shifting until she rolled her hips against his, making him hiss and buck against her as lust shot through him.

 

“Ayr,” he groaned, amber eyes slitting open to stare at the minx on top of him, “I thought you weren’t-”

 

“I lied, apparently.” Ayr purred, repeating the motion with a breathy little laugh, “I _missed_ you, Vhenan. I think I’m okay, as long as _I’m_ on top.”

 

“Whatever you desire, Vhenan.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The first of the ‘surprise guests’ showed up three days after the group had returned to Skyhold, arriving with little fanfare and catching the Inquisitor and her companions eating breakfast.

 

“Well, now, isn’t this cozy!” a female voice quipped from the doorway, laughter clear in her tone, “You see, Fenris? I _told_ you they were the civilized type!”

 

“I suppose your account was right, Hawke. _This_ time.”

 

“Andraste’s _ass_.” Varric swore, standing immediately from the table with a wide grin, “Hawke! Fenris! What the hell are _you_ guys doing here?”

 

“We’re here for the _wedding_ , of course!” Hawke was smiling brightly, crossing to give the dwarf a tight hug, “Leliana invited us, and I couldn’t resist. Plus, Fenris wanted to thank Amaris.”

 

“Thank me?” Amaris echoed from her place at the head of the table, expression both knowing and surprised, “For what?”

 

“For saving Hawke from the Fade.” Fenris - an elf with stark white hair, darker skin and white tattoos - stepped up beside the human mage and nodded respectfully to the blonde, “I am indebted to you, for returning her alive.”

 

“No thanks necessary.” Amaris assured him, sharing a look with Solas, “And please, make yourselves at home. I told you before, Hawke; you’re welcome at Skyhold anytime.”

 

“Thank you, Inquisitor, we will. We did, as I said, come for the wedding, after all. _And_ ,” Hawke was grinning as she took in where Varric had been sitting, how close he still stood to Cassandra, “Ah _hah_ , you _finally_ stopped pretending, huh?”

 

“Hawke!”

 

“Now now, Varric, no need to be _shy_ \- see Fenris? I was right about _that_ , to!”

 

“Yes, Hawke, it seems you were. _Thanks_ , Varric.”

 

“What did I do?!”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

The second guests arrived at the end of the week, two days before the wedding. And if anyone recognized them, they would have caused a _much_ bigger ruckus then they did.

 

Ayr and Cullen were down near the stables, playing with Bounder and conversing with Thom Rainier - since he no longer wished to hide behind the guise of Blackwall - when the Gates lifted, at first paying no attention and thinking nothing of it.

 

Until Bounder started to bark and took off towards the Gates, the couple jolting from their conversation and chasing after with startled shouts.

 

Bounder didn’t make it to the Gates, though; he was waylaid by a much _bigger_ Mabari - this one tan with a black muzzle - before he could reach them, wagging his tail and _yipping_ at the bigger dog excitedly.

 

The strange Mabari returned the playful actions, sniffing and nuzzling at the puppy before a quiet, commanding voice called “Tracker! _Heel_!”

 

The dog - Tracker - immediately backed off, sitting obediently with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

 

Ayr caught Bounder by the ruff and looked up at the people approaching, Cullen coming to stand beside her.

 

Her eyes widened, surprised. That was _Alistair_ , but she’d never seen the woman with him before.

 

“Surana.” she heard Cullen mutter beside her, sounding shocked, and Ayr _started_ , realizing _exactly_ who was now walking towards her at Alistair’s side.

 

The woman was an elf with wavy black hair and piercing grey eyes, Vallaslin an older version of Dirthamen’s that Ayr hadn’t seen used in _years_. She wore Grey Warden armor, and carried a staff on her back.

 

And Ayr _knew_ , as she watched the easy familiarity between the woman and Alistair, _exactly_ who she was.

 

Ayre Surana. The Hero of Ferelden.

 

“Hello, Cullen.” Surana smiled softly when she reached the Mabari’s side, giving his head a fond pat, “It’s been a long time.”

 

“Ten years.” Cullen agreed, “I’m glad to see you well, though I must admit we weren’t expecting you.”

 

“Leliana wanted to keep it a secret, once she knew I had returned.” Surana shared a fond look with Alistair, _something_ passing between them, “I rather like people not recognizing me. But I wanted to be here for this, to congratulate you. I’m _ecstatic_ for you, Cullen.”

 

“Thank you.” the Commander replied earnestly, seeming at ease, “Have you fulfilled the task you set out on then?”

 

“I have. But that’s a story for another time. This must be Ayr.” those grey eyes were on _her_ , suddenly, kind and knowing, “Alistair’s told me about you and your cousin. _Thank you_ , Ayr.”

 

“For _what_?” Ayr stood, Bounder a wiggling mass in her arms, staring at the older woman in confusion.

 

“Oh, lots of things.” Surana was grinning, sharing another look with Alistair before her eyes were on Ayr once more, “First and foremost, _congratulations_ , both of you. Just seeing you together… makes me happy. Makes me sure _you’ll_ be happy. And you _deserve_ it.”

 

“Thank you, Surana,” Cullen wrapped an arm around Ayr’s waist, wearing an easy smile as he nodded to the other couple, “And happiness to the two of _you_ , as well.”

 

“Mhm. I’d like to meet Amaris, if I can; to apologize for not being able to _help_ , if nothing else. And is Morrigan still here? I’d rather like to see her, if so. And Leliana, of course-”

 

“ _Excuse her_ , please,” Alistair chuckled, hooking an arm around the petite woman and pulling her against his side, grinning widely, “She hasn’t been around _people_ in quite a while, you see, so she’s _excited_.”

 

“Oh! I was rambling, wasn’t I?” Surana flushed, smiling apologetically up at the much taller man, “I apologize. I ramble when I’m excited, and I haven’t been able to lose the habit, I’m afraid.”

 

“I-it’s alright.” Ayr relaxed against Cullen, feeling better in the face of a much less _imposing_ figure than she’d expected, “ _Thank_ you, and _welcome_. Morrigan should still be here, and Leliana would love to see you, I’m sure.”

 

“Great! Let’s go then, shall we?”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Makers _breath_ , did they have to make this so _tight_?”

 

“It’s _fitted_ , Cullen, that’s kind of the _point_.”

 

“I feel _ridiculous_.”

 

“Well you look _great_ , so stop your complaining.”

 

“Some brother _you_ are, Branson. Aren’t you supposed to _agree_ with me?”

 

“Not when you’re whining about dressing up on your _wedding day_ , Cullen. Think of it this way; you’re not dressed like that for _you_. You’re dressed like that for _Ayr_. Now _suck it up_ , Commander.”

 

_That_ stopped the complaints, Cullen’s heart doing a quick jump at the reminder of why he was dressed up.

 

It was, as Branson had said, his wedding day. This was _real_.

 

And if it meant making Ayr happy, then fine, he would suffer through the evening in the formal wear Vivienne had presented him with the night before.

 

It was, admittedly, much better than the stiff formal wear from the Winter Palace. This set was white and gold, with a few small black embellishments, and if the hints from the Enchanter had meant anything, Ayr would be in something matching.

 

The guests were gathered in Skyhold's Garden, where Mother Giselle would be performing the short ceremony for them on the steps of the gazebo.

 

He recognized several faces in the crowd, people they’d rescued or recruited, others who had volunteered willingly.

 

Solas nodded to him when he caught his eye, standing with the other companions; Amaris was helping her cousin get ready.

 

He spotted Hawke and Fenris standing with Cassandra and Varric, speaking in low tones about something that had the Seeker blushing.

 

Alistair and Surana were further back, the elf tucked comfortably against the other Wardens side, Morrigan and her son not far away from them.

 

Mia and Rosalie stood near their other companions, and Branson was at his side.

 

Life, it seemed, had come full circle, and Cullen was more than ready to begin the next chapter. To set out into the world now that the war was over, and see where that life went.

 

“It is time, Commander,” Mother Giselle’s voice snapped him from his thoughts, her gaze on the door to the main hall, “And here comes your bride.”

 

Cullen's gaze followed hers and his breath caught in his throat, heart thumping wildly.

 

_Ayr_.

 

He’d been right; Vivienne had dressed them to match, with Ayr in a white and gold version of the dress she’d worn at Halamshiral, hair swept back from her face and cheeks flushed happily.

 

Amaris slipped away from her cousin's side halfway through the gathered crowd and went to Solas, smiling brightly.

 

Dorian escorted the redhead up to the gazebo, passing her hand to Cullen with a cheeky wink before retreating to his place with the other companions.

 

“Now, then,” Mother Giselle cleared her throat, but Cullen scarcely heard her, to focused on the woman before him, “I am sure we are all _sick_ of speeches and lectures, and so instead, we will have only the vows. Vows that must be spoken from the heart, and meant with every fibre of your beings. Vows that will bind you together, now and forever, in the eyes of the Maker and his people.”

 

“You first, Ayr.”

 

Ayr beamed, squeezing his hands tightly, “I swear, before my Gods and yours, to forever be faithful, to love and cherish you no matter what, for as long as I live. I am yours, as you are mine. Ar lath ma, Vhenan. Bellanaris.”

 

“Now you, Commander.”

 

“I swear,” Cullen grinned, feeling lighter than he had in years, “before my Gods and yours, to treasure you, cherish you, and look after you, no matter what comes. I will forever be faithful, and I am yours until my dying breath, and even after. I love you, my heart. My Firecracker. Forever.”

 

“Before the Maker and his people, you are wed.” Mother Giselle paused - sounding as though she was _grinning_ \- then added “Kiss your bride, Commander.”

 

Cullen didn’t hesitate; tangling one hand in the curls at the nape of Ayr’s neck to tilt her head back as he leaned in, kissing her soundly while her arms went around his neck, feeling her sigh blissfully and slump against him as a cheer rose up from the gathered guests.

 

Complete and utter _happiness_ overwhelming him, Cullen broke the kiss and swept the redhead into his arms with a laugh, grinning when she shrieked in surprise and clung to him.

 

Ayr was laughing after a moment, as well, arms still tight around his neck and face pressed into his shoulder, cheeks flushed with happiness.

 

“Why, Commander, why so excited?” she mumbled against the fabric, eyes glinting.

 

“Well, _Mrs Rutherford_ ,” Cullen replied, “It’s because I just married the love of my life, of course.”

 

“Mrs Rutherford.” Ayr echoed, grinning widely, “I like the sound of that.”

 

So did Cullen, and he planned to _show_ her just how much he liked it.

  
Later. Right now, they had a celebration to get to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> |D Good? I hope? I know I didn't go crazy-detailed on the wedding but I liked just having it at the vows.
> 
> IDK I HOPE I DID OKAY? Next chapter is honeymoon shenanigans for Ayr and Cullen so.... smut is very likely.
> 
> KUDOS AND COMMENTS MAKE MY DAY! <3


	17. And So It Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayr and Cullen go on their honeymoon, and spend some time with Cullen's family.
> 
> The newlyweds enjoy some time alone before returning to Skyhold.
> 
> Amaris makes an announcement!
> 
> And it turns out Ayr's got a surprise, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY GUYS! <3 :3 I said I would try to have this out in time and, tada, I do!
> 
> I had a ton of fun writing this chapter, and I hope it shows! We're post game, as you know, so it's all freeform from here. Hope I'm still doing well!!
> 
> ALSO, for anyone who doesn't follow me on Tumblr or hasn't checked recently, I got a commission from askbroodyelf of Ayr and Cullen's first time and I am just a melty puddle of happiness from how it turned out https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cousinslavellan (NSFW obviously)
> 
> And much as it IS meant to be from their first time - I got the commission back before I even WROTE the chapter with their first time, it just took a while to be finished - the picture slightly inspired the smutty bits in THIS chapter. You'll see.
> 
> Regardless, enjoy! Again, happy V-day! <3

Ayr woke rather suddenly from her dreams, instantly alert in a calm, restful sort of way.

 

She kept her eyes shut for a moment, ears pricked to listen, to take in and sort all the sounds around her.

 

Cullen's breathing, quiet and even, against the top of her head; his heartbeat a steady, familiar rhythm beneath her cheek.

 

Bounders soft snores and muted whimpers from the end of the bed, perhaps dreaming of chasing a Nug as he kicked at the air.

 

The normal stir of people outside as they rose to greet the day.

 

And _there_ , the tiniest _creak_ of the floorboards and a near silent groan from the door hinges as it was pushed slowly open, shuffling footsteps against the wood.

 

Ayr let her eyes open and sat up slowly, careful not to jostle Cullen as she turned towards the open door, smiling softly at the little intruder carefully approaching the bed.

 

The child didn't notice her watching him at first, to focused on wobbling from the door to the bed, but his little face broke into a joyous grin when he saw her watching him, "Ay!"

 

"Good morning, Brody," Ayr laughed quietly, slowly disentangling herself from her husband's arms so she could get up, pressing a quick kiss to Cullen's forehead when he grumbled at the loss, "Mama and Papa not up yet?"

 

"Ay!" Brody merely repeated, smile bright and arms wide as she moved towards him, "Up!"

 

"Alright, kiddo, hold on," Ayr bent and scooped the child up as requested, settling him easily in her arms as she padded towards the main rooms, "Are you hungry, Brody? Or just _awake_?"

 

"Awake!" the toddler agreed, giggling in delight when Ayr bounced him playfully, curling happily against her chest as she entered the kitchen, "Ay!"

 

"Shh, kiddo, you'll wake everyone up." she hushed him gently, rocking him as she walked, humming an old Dalish lullaby under her breath; one she knew he liked, after all the time they'd spent there.

 

Brody - 3 years old, blonde haired and brown eyed - was Cullen's nephew. _Her_ nephew, to, though Ayr still had trouble remembering that fact, on occasion.

 

He was Branson's son; one Ayr hadn't known existed until they'd set out on their honeymoon, several days after the wedding.

 

Branson - flirt that he was - was actually _married_ , Mia had explained before they left Skyhold, to a young woman named Kaitlin. When the Rutherford siblings had come to Skyhold, Kaitlin and Brody had gone to stay with her parents, not wanting to travel with how young Brody was.

 

"We all live in a large house in South Reach, as we have since the Blight," Mia had been checking supplies as she spoke, making sure they were ready for their ride back, "We have more than enough space, since our parents - Maker bless their souls - passed several years ago. I'm sure Bran will move out, once Brody's older, but for now we all live under one roof."

 

"You _have_ to come visit, on your travels!" Rosalie demanded, stealing a tight hug from both Cullen and Ayr, "Pleeease?"

 

"I concur; I'd like to _introduce_ you to my wife and son," Branson had stolen much _calmer_ hugs from both his brother and sister-in-law, "I need to prove to Kaitlin that you _exist_ , after all, Cullen."

 

"We will visit." Cullen had promised, laughing.

 

And visit they had... eventually.

 

There was no specific plan, no true direction or destination. Best of all, they could return when they wanted; this outing was for _them_ , to get away, and they would return when it suited them.

 

"Be careful and keep in contact." was all Amaris had requested, smiling happily from Solas' side as they saw them off.

 

"We will." Ayr had promised and, true to her word, they'd written letters back to Skyhold whenever they had stopped somewhere new.

 

They wandered up through Crestwood, stopping to visit a familiar little fishing dock and stay the night again at Caer Bronach, and avoided the Circle Tower - bad memories and little point in returning, with the Rebellion - as they traveled, skirting the edges of the Storm Coast and stopping at little Inn's or simply camping when the want struck them.

 

Cullen took Ayr to Denerim to do some sightseeing and shopping, since she had never been to the Capital before. They didn't stay long - the bigger city still wasn't a fan of Elves, even more so Elven Mages, and they wandered slowly towards South Reach, arriving a month and a half after leaving Skyhold.

 

Mia had huffed and muttered that it was _about time_ they visited, smiling all the while.

 

Rosalie shrieked and nearly tackled them both, babbling on about everything and anything that crossed her mind.

 

Branson grinned and laughed, introducing them to his wife and son.

 

Kaitlin - blond and brown eyed, quieter then they had expected - had welcomed them whole heartedly, remarking that she was happy Cullen truly _did_ exist, after all.

 

Brody had taken one look at Ayr and that was it; he'd practically been attached to her leg since.

 

Ayr wasn't quite sure why the toddler was so enamoured with her, but she didn't mind; while he could be hyper as most children were at his age, Brody was overall a very smart, well behaved little boy.

 

He liked to chase after Bounder - the Mabari nearly big enough for the child to _ride_ , now - and to toddle after Ayr wherever she went, playing curiously with her hair or touching her ears with a sort of childish reverence whenever she held him.

 

Brody had also developed a liking for creeping into the guest room she and Cullen were using to see if Ayr was awake in the morning, delighted if she was.

 

Ayr had been around plenty of children, back with her Clan; she knew the basics of looking after a toddler, knew how to hold and cuddle them, to talk to them in a way they would understand.

 

She hadn't _quite_ expected to become so attached to the little boy, herself.

 

Certainly hadn't expected the _longing_ that came with it; one for a child of her own, of she and Cullen's. A little girl with fire red hair and amber eyes, perhaps, or a boy with golden curls and emerald eyes that looked like his father.

 

Ayr had turned twenty two during their travels - defeating Corypheus had, after all, taken almost two years - and she could almost _hear_ Keeper Deshanna's voice harping at her, _You are Bonded, and of age, Ayr. It is time._

 

_Easier said than done._

 

Ayr sighed, continuing to hum and rock Brody as she paced around the kitchen, the toddler now firmly on the edge of passing out and his head resting comfortably against her shoulder.

 

To be honest, she'd half _expected_ to be pregnant by now. She and Cullen certainly weren't _shy_ around each other, and while they didn't have sex every night - either due to location, timing, or simply because they didn't feel the need - they'd been together often enough since leaving Skyhold.

 

And yet Ayr had gotten her monthly blood like clockwork - was in fact currently just finishing her cycle - and it made her worry.

 

_Is it because he's human and I'm an elf?_ Ayr frowned at the thought - one that had tormented her on and off since the longing had first begun - and continued to hum, not wanting to disrupt Brody's peace, _I didn't think it would be an issue, but what if-_

 

A pair of warm, familiar arms wrapping firmly around her waist cut off the thoughts as she was gently pulled back against a strong chest, her husband's breath on her ear making her shiver as he bent to nuzzle her neck opposite of where Brody rested, "Good morning, Ayr. Stolen again, I see."

 

"Good morning, Cullen," Ayr mumbled in response, turning towards him with a small smile, "I tried not to wake you, Vhenan."

 

"I know." Cullen shifted to kiss her, a tender touch that he drew out with soft nibbles against her lower lip, "I do believe he's gone back to sleep, love."

 

"What can I say?" she whispered back, eyes bright when he pulled just slightly away, "I'm good with kids."

 

"You certainly are." Cullen's voice had taken a rough edge, a distinct _want_ clear in his gaze as he watched her for a moment, as if his thoughts were running similarly to hers, "Ayr-"

 

"Are you two making out in front of my son _again_? Tsk, tsk."

 

Cullen's expression shifted to one of amused annoyance, lips twitching into a smirk, "Your _son_ stole my wife. _Again_. You would think he would wake _you_ up instead of Ayr, Branson, honestly."

 

"Well, clearly he currently favors his _aunt_ over his parents," Branson grinned, crossing from where he stood in the doorway of his own rooms to gently extract the sleepy toddler from Ayr's arms, "Alrighty, Brody, breakfast time, lad."

 

" _Ay_..." Brody whined quietly, though he let his father maneuver him with little fuss, simply pouting in protest.

 

Ayr and Cullen shared a look and a quiet laugh, following Branson and settling themselves at the big table.

 

There would be time to talk later; it was, after all, their last day in South Reach.

 

They'd stayed for two weeks - as they had planned to, somewhat - and it was time to make their way slowly back to Skyhold.

 

"Are you heading _directly_ back to the Keep?" Branson asked as he handed Brody off to his wife - Kaitlin yawning as she emerged from their bedroom and took the toddler, stealing a quick kiss in the process.

 

"Not quite; it will take us at least a couple of weeks to get there, after all." Cullen draped his arm along the back of Ayr's chair, sharing a nod, "We'll stop and camp or stay at Inns, en route. And we'll be staying at Redcliffe, when we reach the Hinterlands; from there, yes, we'll head to Skyhold."

 

"Make sure you _write_ to let us know you got back safely." Mia demanded as she entered the room, already dressed and ready for the day as she took over the breakfast preparation, "And _stay_ in touch, you hear me?"

 

"Yes, Mia." Cullen chuckled.

 

"Do you need any help, Mia?" Ayr stood as she asked, shooting a very sleepy Rosalie a smile as she entered the room.

 

"No, Ayr, thank you. Just relax."

 

"You sure?"

 

"I am. It's your last day with us; _sit_ , relax." Mia paused in her cooking to shoot the elf an honest grin, "Please, Ayr."

 

"Alright." Ayr sighed and sat back down, shrugging in response to Cullen's amused look and leaning into him when he shifted his arm to rest around her shoulders.

 

Cullen's expression softened, free hand gripping her left, running his thumb affectionately over her ring finger and the simple gold band she wore.

 

They had matching rings, a set Cullen had bought as a gift during their time in Denerim; a human tradition to signify their married stance, he'd explained. Ayr was more than happy to wear the ring; a vivid reminder that this was _real_ , not some fantasy she'd dreamed up.

 

The rings were proof that they belonged to each other, with each other, and from the way Cullen looked at them sometimes, Ayr knew he believed the same.

 

"Brody isn't going to be happy when you leave," Kaitlin bemoaned over her sons head, sighing, "I rather think he's going to throw a _fit_ , honestly. I apologize in advance."

 

"We'll visit again." Ayr promised with a laugh, "It's just time to head back, unfortunately. But we'll be back."

 

Truth was, she was _slightly_ anxious to get back to Skyhold, to check on Amaris. Because her cousins last letter had been _quite_ informative, and she wanted to congratulate her in person.

 

Amaris and Solas, it seemed, had had _no_ issues conceiving, and even as she squashed a brief flash of jealousy, excitement and happiness for her cousin bubbled up.

 

She hadn't told Cullen, yet. Better to do so in private, since Amaris hadn't made a _true_ announcement yet.

 

"Alright, here we go," Mia loaded the table with plates of food, grinning at her family, "Dig in, everyone, I made plenty. Let's _enjoy_ the newlyweds last day here, shall we?"

 

"Looks delicious, sis!"

 

"Wonderful as always."

 

"Thank you, Mia."

 

"Bekfast!" Brody chimed in, and the adults all laughed before digging in.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Several hours later - the mounts saddled, their bags packed, and Bounder leashed to Red's reigns - Ayr and Cullen bid the Rutherford's goodbye, exchanging hugs and fond farewells, promising to visit again as soon as they were able.

 

Brody through a fit when he realized Ayr was leaving, as Kaitlin had foretold, only calming when the redhead gave him a tight squeeze and _promised_ she'd be back, soon.

 

"Bye bye, Ay," the child sniffled when he was reluctantly passed back to Branson, chubby fists caught in his father's shirt, "Bye bye, Cull."

 

"Bye bye, Brody," Ayr gave the boy another quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away, nodding to Branson, "Take care, Bran. We'll visit when we can."

 

"Safe travels." Branson grinned, waving as the couple mounted and headed off down the path, heading inside once they were out of sight.

 

Ayr glanced back over her shoulder with a sad smile when they were _just_ out of range, drawing a knowing chuckle from Cullen.

 

"We'll visit again, Ayr," he promised, reaching across to squeeze her hand affectionately, "Don't worry."

 

"I know." she returned the touch, smiling back, "Let's go."

 

They rode until just before nightfall - letting Bounder off the leash while they were in less-populated areas, since he wouldn't get trampled by passing traffic.

 

They stopped to make camp in a little clearing just off the main path - the remnants of a fire pit belaying it's typical use being exactly that - and Cullen set up their tent while Ayr fashioned a simple dinner from the rations they'd brought with them.

 

Red and Cullen's mount, Charger, were tied up not terribly far from their tent, and Bounder curled contentedly between the two bigger animals to sleep. He'd liked their bed, at the Rutherford's house, but had now returned to sleeping with Red, it seemed.

 

After dinner, Cullen churned the fire till it was simple embers before joining Ayr in the tent, curling close together beneath the bedrolls and falling into an easy silence.

 

Cullen shifted after a while, nuzzling gently at her neck and pressing a simple kiss to the flesh, "Ayr, are you still...?"

 

Disappointment flared in Ayr's chest; she'd have _loved_ to have him, to be connected again, but she was just finishing her monthly bleeding. And while she would be done her cycle in a matter of days, she was always sore for about a week after, and not up to intimacy of that nature.

 

They hadn't had sex since arriving at his siblings house; they hadn't wanted to make too much _noise_ , and especially with Brody constantly sneaking into their room...

 

"I am." Ayr sighed reluctantly, nibbling at her bottom lip, "I'm _almost_ finished, but not quite. I'm sorry, Cullen..."

 

"Vhenan, don't ever be _sorry_." he'd pulled back to tip her chin up and look her in the eye then, gaze tender but serious, "Even if you simply didn't feel like it, you never need to be _sorry_. I will never force you into anything you don't want."

 

"I _do_ want," Ayr laughed, wrapping her arms around him to pull him back down to her, humming happily at the familiar weight of him against her, "My body is simply delaying it, alas. But I know, and I appreciate it. By the time we reach Redcliffe, I should be okay."

 

"Then I shall look forwards to our time in Redcliffe, Vhenan," Cullen chuckled, bumping his nose against hers affectionately before settling back down, entirely content just to hold her.

 

They fell into comfortable silence again, and Ayr stared at the roof of the tent for a while, rubbing her hands over his back and listening to the sounds outside.

 

Then, the thought striking her, Ayr sighed, "Amaris wrote more in that last letter  then I told you, by the way."

 

"I thought as much," Cullen mumbled against her neck, breath warm on her skin, "You seemed _ecstatic_ about something, and I doubted it was the report of 'Sera pulling more pranks, Cassandra and Varric disappear constantly, everything else is normal'."

 

"Amaris is pregnant." she blurted, unable to keep it in anymore, "She's three months in or so."

 

_That_ made Cullen pause, posture stiffening slightly, "That's... quite the news." he agreed, tone cautious, "I must congratulate she and Solas, when we return."

 

"Mhm." Ayr could practically _hear_ the wheels turning in his head, could guess what he was thinking, but she forced herself to keep stroking his back, to keep herself relaxed.

 

"Ayr..." Cullen paused, clearing his throat, "In regards to... _us_. I... must admit, I'm rather, ah... Makers breath, how do I say this..."

 

"I'm surprised I'm not pregnant, to, Cullen," she finished his thoughts, giving him a wry grin when he lifted his head enough to meet her gaze, "It's not like we're _shy_ , and I definitely haven't taken anything that might prevent it."

 

"Is there known difficulties conceiving? Between humans and elves?"

 

"Not that I _know_ of." Ayr _hmmed_ , hands pausing on his back, "I mean... I'll admit, we were always advised _against_ having relations with humans, because the offspring would be halflings, but Keeper Deshanna never mentioned anything about difficulties _conceiving_. So I don't _think_ so...?"

 

"Halflings?" Cullen repeated, scowling a little, "Why was it an issue, so long as both parents were consenting?"

 

"Because half-elves look _human_ , Cullen." Ayr explained, smile turning a little sad at his surprised expression, "Most people don't realize, because most of the time, someone who's half elf keeps it to themselves."

 

"They look human?" his eyebrows had lowered, concern radiating from him, "So, _our_ children...?"

 

"Will look human." Ayr confirmed, moving one hand to ghost over the curve of his ear, "They'll have round ears, like you, not pointed ones. I'm not sure why - it's been theorized our blood is _weaker_ , so it's overpowered when we reproduce with humans-"

 

"That doesn't bother you?" he was doubting himself again, worry etched into his expression as the full repercussions of it hit him, "That they'll-"

 

"Cullen." Ayr cut him off, smiling gently and framing his face with both hands, running her thumb over his cheek affectionately, "If it had bothered me, I _never_ would have let myself fall for you. I wouldn't have _married_ you. I _knew_ , going into this, that any kids would be halflings. I'll _love them_ , regardless. And I hope you _share_ my views."

 

"Of course I'll love them." Cullen's voice was hoarse with emotion, the Commander giving a weak laugh as he bent to kiss her, mumbling against her lips, "How could I not? It doesn't _matter_ what they look like, they'll be _ours_ , a result of our love."

 

"Then that's what matters." Ayr kissed him back, content, "It'll _happen_ , Cullen, when it's time, I suppose."

 

"I eagerly await the day, Vhenan," he rumbled, arms slipping back around her possessively, "Till then... we will have to keep trying. Once you are ready."

 

"I can't wait." she answered honestly, purring happily as he settled back against her, sleep coming quickly now that they'd assuaged their fears.

 

_It will happen when it happens_. Ayr repeated to herself as she drifted off, a promise and a wish.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

They reached Redcliffe roughly a week later, riding straight through the Gates and towards the newer Inn at the centre of the Village - and Ayr found herself feeling rather odd.

 

Her monthly blood had finished the day after they'd left South Reach, and the pain that usually followed had been significantly less than usual, thank the Creators. But where she would usually return to normal shortly after, she was now feeling unusually _warm_.

 

It had started with her face - her cheeks feeling strangely flushed and heated - and Ayr had wondered if she was getting sick. Cullen had felt her forehead, though, and there was no sign of a fever, nor was she _actually_ at all red in the cheeks, despite the lingering tenderness.

 

By the time they'd reached the village proper, it had spread to her entire body; a warm, almost _buzzing_ feeling, as though her whole body was flushed, from the ends of her ears to the tips of her toes.

 

It worsened whenever Cullen looked at her or touched her, and her libido spiked suddenly as they approached the new Inn - built shortly after Corypheus' defeat, in place of the old Inn, a much more updated building - and he flashed her a triumphant grin, making the flush deepen.

 

They reached the Inn's stables and Ayr shakily moved to dismount, gasping when warm hands closed over her waist and lifted her down off her Hart, liquid heat shooting from where he touched to pool between her legs.

 

"Are you alright?" Cullen asked quietly once her feet were on the ground, hands still on her waist as he watched her, frowning worriedly.

 

"I-I'm fine." Ayr tried to breathe normally, but all that did was bring his scent to her and make her head spin more, "I promise, Cullen. Let's go get our rooms, okay?"

 

"If you're sure..." he didn't look convinced, but he released her and led the mounts to the stable hands regardless, Bounder trotting happily along after Red.

 

Ayr tried to wrestle back control of herself before following after him towards the Inn, ignoring the steady ache that had begun between her thighs, doing her best to act normal.

 

_Okay, so we haven't had sex in weeks; I should **not** be feeling like this! This is ridiculous! Yes, we'll have the chance tonight, finally, but that shouldn't have my body reacting like a bitch in heat-_

 

Ayrs steps faltered at the thought, eyes widening.

 

_Or... is that **why**? Is this my bodies way of saying...?_

 

"Ayr?"

 

Cullen's voice broke her from her thoughts, even just her name in that quiet rumble enough to send tingles through her.

 

Meeting his gaze - worry clear in his amber eyes - and feeling the heat spark higher, Ayr did her best to smile, knowing, at least, what she wanted.

 

"I'm fine, Cullen," she repeated, innocently adding "Just _hungry_."

 

"We will have a servant bring dinner up shortly, Mrs. Rutherford," the attendant assured her, a frisson of pleasure running through her at the title.

 

Cullen liked it, to, judging by the smirk he now wore. "Thank you. You said it's the last room on the left?"

 

"Correct, Commander Rutherford. Here's your keys; let us know if anything is not to your liking."

 

"We will, thank you."

 

Cullen gently took Ayr by the hand - making it even _harder_ for her to keep up the pretense of acting normal - and led her forwards into the Inn, their single bag of clothing hooked over his shoulder.

 

They ascended the stairs and headed for the specified room, the very last on the left, Cullen releasing her to open the door and push it open, letting her enter first.

 

The Inn had _definitely_ been updated since she had come there with Dorian, before - it was actually a small _set_ of rooms, rather than a single room. They entered into what seemed a small dining and lounging area, a bedroom clear through the door at the back and the bathing chamber off to the right.

 

As much as Ayrs instincts were _screaming_ at her to jump him _now now now_ , she held back, knowing a servant would be bringing food up and rather not wanting an _audience_.

 

Instead, she took the bag from Cullen and moved to inspect the bedroom, pleased with the size of the bed - a real bed, _so_ much better than a tent - and set it down to the side, ears pricking when there was a knock at the door and Cullen's voice echoed quietly through the suite.

 

She re-entered the main room once she heard the door close in time to see Cullen setting a covered tray down on the provided table, his back turned towards her.

 

Giving in to her urges, Ayr crossed to him and wrapped her arms around his torso from behind, pressing herself flush against his back and biting back a purr at the heat shooting through her.

 

"Ayr?" he laughed, looking back at her over his shoulder.

 

"Cullen." she mumbled back, meeting his gaze and letting him see the bright lust in her eyes, "When I said I was hungry, I didn't mean for _food_."

 

Cullen's grin shifted into a smirk then, eyes darkening to gold as he twisted in her grasp so he could wrap his arms around her in return, pulling her tight to his chest.

 

"Good." was all he said before bending to kiss her, Ayr humming in delight at the touch.

 

Despite her bodies urgency and the weeks they'd been without each other, neither was in a rush; rather preferring to re-familiarize themselves, to touch and explore and discover.

 

Cullen kissed her almost reverently, lips moving softly against her own, parting so he could nibble gently on her bottom lip, tongue slipping through to slide against hers when she moaned in response.

 

Ayrs hands went to the snaps of his armor as his slid around to cup her ass, content just to hold her close as she finished undoing his shirt and slipped her hands under to caress his skin. He wasn't wearing his full armor - hadn't bothered since leaving Skyhold - and Ayr eagerly let her hands drift over his chest, returning to the buttons only when they hindered her exploration.

 

Cullen released her lips to trail kisses down her jaw and to her ear, pausing to bite and suck at the sensitive spot there as he went to work at the buttons of her own shirt, leaving the redhead shivering and gasping in his arms by the time he'd finished undoing the garment.

 

Ayr shrugged out of the shirt and pushed his from his shoulders, once more mapping out the plains of his chest with curious hands, brushing over hard muscles and old scars as he rid her of her breast band with a few quick tugs.

 

She sighed and shivered when his hands cupped her breasts, gently molding and caressing the small mounds, shocks of pleasure going straight to her core when he thumbed the nipples into hard little buds.

 

"Cullen..." she sighed, turning towards him so she could kiss him again, hands running lower and skimming along the waist of his breaches, "Please, Vhenan."

 

"Yes, Vhenan," he mumbled against her mouth, hooking his hands beneath her knees so he could lift her against him, Ayr's arms going around his neck and her legs around his waist to keep herself steady as he headed for the bedroom, still kissing tenderly.

 

Cullen kicked the door shut behind him before approaching the bed and gently setting Ayr down on the edge, crouching briefly to continue the kiss as he worked at the ties of her pants, Ayr already undoing the laces on his breaches.

 

They finished at the same time, Ayr squirming away to settle against the pillows of the bed while wiggling out of her pants and smalls. Cullen kicked his own off and followed after, crouching over her on his hands and knees and just grinning down at her for a moment, happy to have the _time_ to take things slow, to enjoy themselves.

 

Cullen had settled between her thighs - her legs hooked back over his ass, the scent of her arousal making his head swim and his cock swell further - when her necklace caught his eye, making him pause and grin in affectionate disbelief.

 

"You're still wearing it." he murmured, pleased surprise in his voice as he eyed the coin she'd had set into a pendent, resting neatly between her collarbones.

 

"Of course I am." Ayr answered simply, smiling as she touched the coin with one hand and lifted the other to touch his face, "It was the first gift you gave me, Cullen. I'll always treasure it."

 

Ayr's breath _whooshed_ out of her in surprise when Cullen laid down against her suddenly, his face buried in her throat and his grip on her tight.

 

"Cullen?" she asked, worried by the change.

 

"I love you, Ayr." he mumbled heatedly into her skin, pressing needy little kisses there, his hand snaking between them to stroke along her folds and make her gasp, "I love you so _damn_ much."

 

"Cullen." her voice was a whine as his fingers slid inside her, teasing and stretching, the Commander rumbling approvingly into her throat when he found her already wet and ready, " _Please_ , Vhenan...."

 

"I love you." Cullen repeated, withdrawing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of his cock, pressing slowly into her, "Vhenan, my _wife_."

 

Ayr only whimpered in response, body purring as its demands were finally met, feeling stretched and wanted and so very, very _full_ , legs tightening around him.

 

"Ayr..." he groaned when their hips finally met, bending to rest their foreheads together, seeking her eyes, "Love, look at me. Alright?"

 

"More then," she whispered back, hazy green opening to meet darkened gold, an honest smile on her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck again, one hand threading in the blonde curls at the nape of his neck, "I love you, Cullen."

 

Grin affectionate, Cullen bent to kiss her, swallowing her sigh as he shifted below, starting a slow, lazy rhythm.

 

There was no need to rush, and so they took their time; moving slowly against each other, stoking their fires leisurely, pleasure building but never quite cresting.

 

Cullen only sped up when Ayr gasped and clutched at him suddenly, biting down on his lower lip and then soothing the sting with her tongue, "Cullen, _please_ -!"

 

He sped up then, gripping her hips so he could thrust harder, deeper, movements becoming more rapid and less controlled as her mewls and cries became louder.

 

Cullen had lost track of time when Ayr finally stiffened and arched beneath him, both hearing her final cry and _feeling_ her release hit her through their Bond as she shattered, grip on him near bruising.

 

The feel of her sex quivering and gripping at him was enough to throw Cullen over the edge after her, sinking deep with a groan as his own orgasm hit him, spilling himself deep inside of her.

 

Panting, Cullen lay down atop her again, rumbling in content as she purred beneath him, nuzzling his nose against hers.

 

He shifted to roll off of her and was surprised when Ayr locked her legs tighter around him, keeping him in place. He also felt her tilting her hips up, just slightly, and turned his head to look at her questioningly.

 

"I'd like to go again." Ayr admitted easily, cheeks flushed as she played with his hair, "But... can we just... lay like this for a bit, first? I just..."

 

Cullen kissed her to stop the words, "Whatever you want, Vhenan. I rather like laying like this with you."

 

"Flatterer." Ayr laughed, hugging him tight, "Just a few minutes, Vhenan. Promise."

 

_And maybe,_ she prayed, hoping, _Just **maybe**..._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Ayr would have been lying if she'd said they _hadn't_ spent most of their three-day stay in Redcliffe in bed, making love and just basking in the freedom to _do_ so, to not _have_ to go rushing off to meetings or battles.

 

The strange flush that had overcome her when they'd arrived faded away after the first day and several rounds, and while Ayr still wasn't 100% sure what it had been, she had a hunch.

 

Regardless, both she and Cullen were happy and well rested by the time they took their leave, thanking the Inn Keeper for their hospitality and heading onwards to Skyhold.

 

The ride through the Hinterlands took another couple of days, stopping at the established Inquisition Camps over night, and then up into the Frostbacks they went, knowing the path well after all their time spent coming and going from Skyhold.

 

The bell went off above their heads as they rode across the bridge and through the Gates, grinning as they entered the lower courtyard to a small welcoming committee - clearly, Amaris had told people they were on their way back.

 

"Welcome back, Commander, Lady Rutherford," Master Dennet greeted as he took the mounts from them, sharing an almost _glare_ with Red, "Can't say I've missed your red _beast_ , my lady."

 

"She should be to tired from the journey to cause any problems," Ayr laughed, sharing a nod with the older man.

 

Bounder circled their heels a couple of times with happy _woofs_! before trotting obediently after the mounts, more than content to stay with Red.

 

Grinning, the couple headed up to the main square, greeting people as they went, briefly answering questions when asked.

 

"Ah, and _here_ 's my favorite newlyweds!" Dorian was grinning widely as he came down the main stairs to meet them, arms open wide, "About _time_ , you two."

 

"Dorian!" Ayr laughed and released Cullen's hand to hug her friend tightly, "Did you _miss_ us?"

 

" _Terribly_ , dear heart. It has been rather _boring_ without you two around," Dorian hugged her back just as tightly before offering a hand to Cullen with a smirk, "Though I do _hope_ you had fun, of course."

 

"We did," Cullen grinned and took the offered hand, "Though I will admit, I am happy to be back. Skyhold is _familiar_."

 

"To true, Commander."

 

"Where's Amaris?" Ayr asked the moment she pulled away, eager to see her cousin.

 

"Waiting at the breakfast table, dear Firecracker," Dorian motioned to the stairs, leading them both up, "She called _all_ of the remaining Companions to breakfast, in fact; I believe she _knew_ you would be arriving today."

 

"Sounds like Amaris," Ayr agreed, hand clasped with Cullen's as they mounted the steps, "Who all's still here?"

 

"Myself, of course, and Bull and his Chargers - don't think you'll be getting rid of _us_ anytime soon. Varric and Cassandra remain, though you'd be hard pressed to _find_ them most days - and to think they _scoffed_ at me, when I called them out on their feelings! Bah!"

 

"Vivienne left perhaps a month ago to return to Val Royeaux - though she's been keeping in touch with Amaris and said she would return if needed. Sera left, as well, though that was only a few days ago; she said she was bored because our dear Thom Rainier has headed off to the Wardens. You should have _seen_ the mess she caused before she left though, goodness..."

 

"Cole remains, though he comes and goes as he pleases - and Solas is still close at Amaris' side, of course, the poor man seems _beside_ himself some days, I'm not sure why-"

 

Ayr and Cullen shared a knowing look.

 

"-and Leliana is still with us, for the time being; she said she does not wish to go through the rites of the Divine _just_ yet. And Josephine has been looking after everything as per usual, the dear."

 

"Let's not keep them waiting, then." Cullen chuckled, striding easily after Dorian as they entered the Main Hall, Ayr at his side.

 

The main table seemed almost empty, with so many of their companions gone. But the ones still there more than made up for it with their bright grins and laughter when they spotted them.

 

"Hey, welcome back, Commander and Mrs. Commander!" Bull cheered from his usual spot at the very end, lifting his mug - probably filled with ale - in a toast, "Glad to see you well!"

 

"Thanks, Bull," Ayr laughed, sharing a nod with Krem as they passed.

 

"Glad to see you two had fun, Firecracker," Varric grinned from his own seat, one hand resting innocently over Cassandra's on the table, "It's been far too _quiet_ without you here."

 

"Agreed." the Seeker smiled, lifting her own drink towards them, "Welcome home, Commander, Ayr."

 

"Safe and warm and _home_ , this is home, this is where they belong." Cole mumbled to himself before grinning brightly up at them, "W-welcome back!"

 

Ayr and Cullen shared a quick smile before the redheads vision fell on her cousin, and all other thoughts quickly fled as she released her husband's hand to stride quickly towards the blonde.

 

Amaris stood from her chair at the head of the table - movements slower than they had been, Ayr noticed, Solas looking ready to jump to her side from his own chair - and smiled _brilliantly_ at the redhead, arms opening wide, "Welcome _home_ , Ayr, Cullen."

 

Ayr laughed and hugged her cousin tightly once she was close enough, being sure to avoid her belly - and noting her cousin wore a rather lose _tunic_ over her normal shirt, hiding her abdomen for the moment - pulling back to grin happily.

 

"I _missed_ you, Amaris, seriously. Are you _okay_? Everything's been _fine_?"

 

Knowing what she was referring to, Amaris only laughed, taking the redheads hand and pulling it to hover loosely over her hidden belly, "I am, and everything has been perfect. I'd hoped you would _check_ for me, before I say anything...?"

 

"Amaris, please, you already _know_." Ayr was honored, though, flexing her fingers in the air, "But if you really _want_ me to?"

 

"I do, please." the blonde was smiling still, expression just a touch sad, "It's _tradition_."

 

"Okay." Ayr splayed her fingers and pressed her hand closer to Amaris' belly, not quite touching but just hovering, murmuring the old spell under her breath and smiling widely when a little _pink_ pattern flared briefly before disappearing.

 

"It's a _girl_ , Amaris," Ayr whispered quietly, sharing a look with the older woman, "And I think you should _tell people_ , now."

 

"You're right." Amaris took a step back and extended a hand to Solas, the man all but jumping to his feet to take her hand and stand beside her, looking worried but content, "Everyone! I have a... personal announcement, I suppose."

 

Cullen stepped up beside Ayr as she spoke, the two sharing a knowing grin as the rest of their Companions turned towards the Inquisitor.

 

"There's a reason I asked everyone to be at breakfast this morning." Amaris admitted, sharing a quick smile with Solas before beginning to shrug out of the lose tunic she wore.

 

"Is everything alright, Inquisitor?" Cassandra questioned, ever the worrier.

 

"Everything is _perfect_ , Cassandra." Amaris assured her, setting the tunic aside and letting her arms drop - her normal blue shirt clinging _much_ more noticeably to her belly than usual, a round curve there that was easy to miss, if you weren't looking for it.

 

Amaris paused, and Solas wrapped an arm around her waist to press her against his side, his other hand coming to rest on the barely-noticeable bump, a silent message passing between them before she smiled and announced, "We're _expecting_."

 

And, just as with their Bonding, everyone jumped to respond at once.

 

"You're _pregnant_?! When?!"

 

"Congratulations, Inquisitor! My goodness!"

 

"Well well, that _is_ good news!"

 

"Good work, Chuckles!"

 

Ayr couldn't help it - she strode forwards to hug Amaris again, tighter this time, not worrying about giving away her cousins secret anymore.

 

"Congratulations." she whispered, smile watery when she pulled back, "You will be an _amazing_ mother, and I'll be here, to help with whatever you need. I'll be the best... second cousin or whatever, _ever_."

 

" _Ayr_ , for the love of _Mythal_ ," Amaris was laughing, hugging her just as tightly, "You are practically my _sister_ , forget the technicalities. You will be the best _Aunt_ my child could ask for."

 

"Damn straight I will." Ayr sniffled, wiping stubbornly at her eyes as the tears leaked through, mumbling "I am _not_ a sap, I swear, these aren't tears... I'm just so _happy_ for you, Amaris, for both of you."

 

She hugged Solas then, the man still hovering worriedly at Amaris' side, hearing him chuckle and hug her back, "Thank you, Ayr. I will rest easier, knowing you are with Amaris during the times I have to be away."

 

"Oh?" Cullen stepped up behind Ayr then, eyebrows lifted, "Has something happened?"

 

"Nothing new, but..." Solas sighed, taking hold of Amaris' left hand and lifting her marked palm to his lips, "With the Fade Rifts and the Breach taken care of, I must find a way to remove the Anchor."

 

"It could cause problems, in the long run," Amaris explained, sharing a tender look with her Bonded, "It's best to remove it, if possible."

 

"I will never be gone longer than necessary," Solas swore, looking incredibly worried and vulnerable as he held Amaris' gaze, "I swear."

 

"We'll look after her while you're gone, Solas," Ayr promised, Cullen nodding behind her, "Don't worry."

 

"Thank you, Lethallen," he smiled then, arms around Amaris once more, "But I digress. Let us _celebrate_ your return, yes? Your travels were safe?"

 

"Mhm, we had fun! Cullen's nephew is _adorable_ , such a cute little boy."

 

"And he _loves_ Ayr." Cullen chuckled, leading his wife to the table so they could sit down and eat.

 

"Oh really? This I have to hear..."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Life at Skyhold, after that, was simple. Quiet and comfortable, a routine with little excitement and a growing anticipation as Amaris' pregnancy progressed.

 

They received a letter from Vivienne perhaps a week after Amaris' announcement, congratulating her and informing her that she _would_ be pampering the babe, once it was born.

 

Fiona and the Mages left after maybe a month, reopening the College of Enchanters in place of the Circle, and Leliana _grudgingly_ answered the summons to become the Divine, promising to keep in touch and to keep her circle of Agents functioning as before, to keep them updated.

 

Solas _did_ travel, as he had said, but he was never gone more than a week at a time, and spent every moment at Amaris' side when he was present.

 

Ayr's time was split between Cullen, Amaris and Dorian, an easy cycle. Cullen still had duties as Commander, after all, and looking after their troops at the other Keeps; afternoons that he was busy with paperwork she would spend with Dorian in the library, or Amaris wherever the blonde happened to feel like wandering.

 

Amaris' belly grew much more noticeable as time passed, and soon the Inquisitor was forced to relinquish her preferred clothing for much more lose garments, spoiled with maternity wear from a certain Enchanter in Val Royeaux.

 

Cassandra was a constant presence at the blondes side, as well as Josephine; they loved to pamper the blonde, and to simply _talk_ and relax, now that they had the _chance_ to.

 

It had been a month and a half since their return to Skyhold when Ayr started to feel slightly off again, though not in the hot-flushed way she had at Redcliffe.

 

She was just constantly _hungry_.

 

Where before she could eat _maybe_ a single helping at breakfast or dinner, she now ate at least two, and always went for dessert, as well.

 

She would swipe snacks without even thinking about it while spending time with Amaris, and  Cole had brought her little packages of frilly cakes a couple of times when the craving for them had just _hit_ , the Spirit smiling brightly and saying he was simply happy to help.

 

Cullen didn't question it - likely knowing better from having grown up with sisters - though he _had_ lifted a silent brow on occasion when she would run to the kitchens just before bed to grab a snack.

 

Ayr just shrugged apologetically, and they would go to bed and not worry about it, curled together.

 

Two months or so after their return, Ayr noticed something else off; her breasts were ridiculously _tender_.

 

She'd thought nothing of it, at first, just loosened her breast band slightly, and it seemed to solve the irritation.

 

Then Cullen had palmed them during sex - not hard, and no different than he normally did - and Ayr had gasped as _pain_ flared from the touch, going stiff as tears pricked at her eyes.

 

"Ayr? What happened?!" Cullen had panicked and jerked his hands away immediately, terrified at the thought of having hurt her and hovering tentatively over her.

 

"I'm okay, it's okay." she promised, sucking in a deep breath and wiping the tears away as the pain faded, a dull sort of throbbing taking its place, "Just... my breasts are weirdly _tender_ right now, so don't... touch them, okay?"

 

"You're _sure_ you're alright?"

 

"I promise." Ayr smiled and pulled him back to her, warmed by his careful effort to keep away from her chest, "Please keep going, Vhenan."

 

Maybe she was sick, she thought; had caught a bug on their journeys, or the weather was messing with her, as they slowly moved into the colder months of Winter.

 

Regardless, the tenderness remained, as did the increased appetite.

 

And it wasn't until three months after they'd returned that the reason finally became obvious, and only because _Amaris_ figured it out.

 

The cousin's were sitting up in Amaris' rooms, curled together on the couch - now in front of the fire, as Amaris had had it moved there as the weather got colder - and just talking about things, Skyhold and their friends, Solas' journeys and Bounders shenanigans, now that the Mabari was nearing his full size.

 

Cullen had some reports to go over from the other Keeps, and neither Amaris or Ayr felt like dealing with the cold weather; they'd even closed the balcony doors, for once.

 

"I think we're going to have to fix the hole in our roof after all," Ayr sighed and shrugged, wincing as the action made her shirt rub against her still-sensitive breasts, "It hasn't bothered me the entire time we've been here, but I just keep getting _chills_ lately."

 

"Say the word and I'll send men to have it fixed," Amaris promised, reclining against the couch with her arms wrapped loosely around her belly, content and glowing with the life she carried. At roughly six and a half months, Amaris was _clearly_ pregnant, her belly round and swollen beneath the lose tunic she wore.

 

"Please do. I'll just have to give Cullen a heads up." Ayr frowned a little, a sudden queasy feeling hitting her, "When is Solas due to come back?"

 

"A couple of days. He said he's on his way back, actually," Amaris smiled happily, cheeks flushed, "It'll be good to have him home, again."

 

"Mhm, I know he's never gone long, but-"

 

Ayr cut off when the queasiness suddenly spiked, stomach roiling as she all but _lurched_ from the couch, making a mad dash to the back room of her cousins quarters.

 

"Ayr?!" Amaris followed slowly, belly forcing her to move more carefully as she trailed after the redhead, surprised by the sound of her vomiting rather violently, "Ayr, are you _alright_?"

 

" _No_ ," Ayr groaned, still bent over the bucket the blonde kept there, "I'm _not_ , ow..."

 

Amaris had been lucky enough to _not_ have any major morning sickness, but she'd kept the bucket on hand just in case; a good move, it seemed.

 

And as she stared at her cousin bent over it, Amaris' eyes went wide, realisation hitting her.

 

"Ayr..." she began softly, not wanting to startle her, "When did you _bleed_ last...?"

 

"What?" the redhead choked, still focusing on _not_ tossing the rest of her breakfast.

 

"When was your last monthly blood?"

 

"It was-" Ayr's head shot up, green eyes startled when they met blue, "... _three months ago_ , when we left South Reach."

 

"And you've been feeling _weird_ lately, right?" Amaris pressed, seeing the wheels turning in Ayr's head, "You said you've been constantly _hungry_ , I know, and that your breasts were weirdly sensitive."

 

"They have... and now I'm always queasy..."

 

"Ayr." the blonde held her hands out to help her stand, smiling gently, "You _know_ what I'm thinking."

 

Ayr swallowed thickly, standing up and nervously playing with the edge of her shirt, "I know. I'd... _wondered_ , but I thought I was just being _hopeful_ , that it was just wishful thinking..."

 

"Do you have a _bump_?"

 

"Um... I'm not sure...?"

 

"Shirt up." Amaris demanded, feeling absolutely _giddy_ as she swatted her cousins hands away and gently lifted the white material up, grin widening as she eyed the redheads abdomen, "Oh, Ayr, you silly thing."

 

"What?" Ayr squeaked, unable to see because of how Amaris was holding her shirt, "Is there-?"

 

"You absolutely have a _bump_ ," Amaris announced, grinning at the _tiny_ little curve in the redheads belly, only noticeable if you were really looking for it, "Here, you can _feel_ if it you press close enough."

 

Smoothing the material back down, Amaris took Ayr's hand and pressed it over the tiny little curve, smile bright as she watched her cousins eyes go wide.

 

"Amaris." Ayr's voice was hoarse, "Can you...?"

 

"Of _course_." Amaris released her hand so she could splay her fingers out over her belly - as Ayr had done for her, three months before - whispering the spell and _laughing_ when again a little pink pattern flashed.

 

"Congrats, Ayr," she beamed, watching the expressions on the redheads face, "You're pregnant."

 

Ayr didn't say anything at first; she pressed her hands over the spot on her belly, swallowing thickly, looking like she was about ready to start bawling.

 

Then she _laughed_ , smiling brightly, tears still in her eyes but _happiness_ overwhelming everything else, "Gods, I can't... it happened. It actually happened. I have to tell _Cullen_. How do I _tell_ him?"

 

"Just tell him." Amaris stepped back, still beaming, " _Go_ , Ayr. Tell him _now_."

 

The redhead sucked in a deep breath before nodding and swiftly crossing to the stairs, disappearing from view and leaving Amaris to smile and waddle back over to the couch.

 

_About time._ she thought pleasantly, curling up on the couch with a hand on her own belly.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Ayr all but _ran_ to Cullen's office, darting past agents and soldiers and the occasional visiting noble, not caring about anything but getting to him, _telling_ him.

 

It had happened; there wasn't anything wrong with her and it had _happened_ , finally, _thank the Creators_...

 

She forced herself to slow down on the path between the Rotunda and his office - not wanting to slip and hurt herself, or hurt _it_ , oh _Gods_ , this was real - still bursting through the door at a quick walk, panting and leaning back against it to catch her breath.

 

"Ayr?" Cullen was on high alert the moment she came crashing in, reports forgotten as he came around the desk to approach her, hands on her arms to steady her, "What happened? What's wrong?"

 

"Nothing's wrong." Ayr laughed, still panting as she beamed up at him, "Everything is _perfect_."

 

"What are you-?" Cullen's words cut off when she took his hands and placed them on her belly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "What?"

 

Ayr only continued to smile, cheeks flushing as she pressed his hands closer, and then he froze, feeling the tiniest little curve beneath her shirt, hardly a bump but definitely _there_ -

 

Gold eyes shot up to green, searching, seeking confirmation as his heart thumped, desperate _hope_ rising, "Ayr...?"

 

"Cullen." she responded simply, smile wide and cheeks red, and his breath left him as the truth sank in, the tiny _life_ beneath his palm warm and so very _real_.

 

Cullen dropped to his knee with a choked laugh, pressing his face to her belly and wrapping his arms firmly around her, shoulders shaking with repressed emotion as he fought not to cry.

 

"Thank the Maker," he murmured against her belly, nuzzling his nose against the tiny bump, kissing the space where their child grew as her hands came to rest on his shoulders, "What have I done to deserve this happiness?"

 

"Cullen..."

 

Cullen rose to his feet to kiss her then, lips tender and loving against hers, one arm still around her waist while the other lifted, cradling her jaw as he kissed her.

 

"I love you." he managed after a moment, voice rough with emotion, eyes deep amber as he tried to smile, overwhelmed, "So much. I don't deserve you, Ayr; I don't deserve this happiness. But I will _never_ let it go. You've given me so much, and now... a _child_... I don't..."

 

"You _do_ deserve it." Ayr went on her toes to kiss him again, arms tight around his neck as she pressed close, "We _both_ deserve it. I will give you every happiness I am able to, Cullen; I know you want a big family. This child is only the _first_."

 

"And I will do everything in my power to protect it." Cullen swore, grip on her tight and expression filled with desperate affection, "To protect you both."

 

"Ar lath ma, Vhenan. Bellanaris." Ayr was blushing and smiling, laughing as she hugged him tighter, "This is just the _beginning_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> I HOPE I DID GOOD X3 I HAD FUN WRITING THAT.
> 
> KUDOS AND COMMENTS MAKE MY DAY! <3
> 
> Happy Valentines day again! <3


	18. The Light of Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amaris Lavellan was the Inquisitor. She faced down demons, darkspawn, Venatori and then-some. She took down Corypheus, brought people together, and shaped Thedas.
> 
> And now, she has earned a new title; nine months after Corypheus was defeated, Amaris gives birth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey LOOK I finished the chapter! Woot!
> 
> COMPLETE FOCUS ON AMARIS THIS TIME AROUND! :3 With Solas of course! This is about HER pregnancy and subsequent birth, and her baby.
> 
> QUESTION FOR YOU: I have EVERY INTENTION of writing a SEQUEL to this once it's finished, which would be focusing on the KIDS! Would you guys be INTERESTED in that? LET ME KNOW!
> 
> ENJOY <3

 

As a native Dalish and former Clan First, Amaris was no stranger to pregnancies.

 

She’d long since lost count of how many Clan Sister’s she’d helped through the birthing process alongside Keeper Deshanna, how many women she’d tended to during the rougher points of their pregnancies.

 

Some women had easy pregnancies; others had a rougher time, plagued by morning sickness, bleeding, and fatal complications. More than once she had been forced to do all she could to save either a mother or a child, only to lose both to unforeseen consequences.

 

And while she had access to more medicine and magic, comfort and, honestly, _luxury_ than she’d ever expected, Amaris wasn’t sure what to expect from her own pregnancy.

 

She wanted a child; had always known she would want a child, should she ever find the proper partner. She’d helped raise half the children of the Clan, telling them stories and teaching them in preparation to take over as Keeper.

 

Then the Clan had been destroyed, and all that had kept her going was the fact that Ayr - stubborn, determined Ayr - had followed after her and _survived_.

 

And Solas, warm and comforting and supportive, staying at her side and looking after her, giving her everything she needed.

  
He’d given her everything he was, everything he had been; even before he’d told her the entire truth, he’d given her hints through the Bond, little clues and thoughts that formed suspicions in her mind.

 

And yet the truth of his nature - his status as an immortal Ancient, a powerful mage with magic far stronger than any other's she'd encountered - made her pregnancy all the more mysterious, because she didn't know what effect that would have on it.

 

So Amaris did as she always did; kept a cool head and rolled with the punches, so to speak, tackling things day by day.

 

Honestly, the fact that Solas was Fen'Harel seemed to have little effect on the baby, so far as pregnancy symptoms went.

 

She was spared the nausea many women went through - _especially_ poor Ayr, who'd been cursed with morning sickness since her third month - and asides from her swelling belly and bigger appetite, Amaris saw little change.

 

In fact, she had a rather _easy_ pregnancy, with few side effects and only the occasional craving or cramp. Amaris was able to continue her duties as Inquisitor, at least within Skyhold, and she didn't let her growing belly get in the way.

 

Solas travelled, as he'd said he would, searching for a way to remove the Anchor from her palm, never gone for more than a week at a time.

 

Her Mate had always been affectionate and touchy in private, and had become even _more_ so as her pregnancy progressed, especially after any time away.

 

Amaris was woken halfway through her eighth month by lips against her cheek and a hand gently caressing her belly, the familiar touch and flowing thoughts making her smile as sleepy blue eyes opened to peer up at him.

 

"Welcome back, Vhenan." she murmured, lifting a hand to his cheek and laughing softly when he pressed a kiss to her palm.

 

"I'm home, Vhenan," Solas mumbled in response, bending to kiss her properly while running his hand over her belly again.

 

Amaris let out a small _eep!_ and Solas made a slightly strangled noise when the baby kicked, hitting right where he was touching as though sensing him.

 

"She's saying 'hi'." Amaris whispered happily, placing her hand over his and feeling the babe kick again, "Welcome home, papa."

 

"Indeed." Solas' expression was one of mixed mirth and bewilderment, clearly unsure how to react but just as happy as she was, judging by the emotions flowing through the Bond.

 

"We missed you." she sighed, eyes closing again as Solas settled down behind her, arm wrapped firmly around her to keep his hand on her belly, "How long are you home for this time, Vhenan?"

 

"Until she's born, and for a while after that." Solas buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply, _peace_ exuding from him through the Bond, "The Anchor is stable, for now. I need to be here with you, Vhenan. I will not see you bring our child into the world alone."

 

"Thank you, Vhenan." Amaris murmured drowsily, already slipping back into sleep, comfortable in the warm embrace of her mate.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Perhaps a week after Solas had returned, Amaris' water broke.

 

It wasn't a dramatic gush, nor was it particularly painful; it was more of a _pop_ , one she caught only because she was so in tune with her body.

 

She had, thankfully, been lounging on the couch of her rooms with Ayr and Cassandra, just talking and taking things easy.

 

When she felt the pop, Amaris grimaced and pushed herself up, a hand on her belly as she sent a quick mental note to Solas.

 

"Amaris?" Ayr questioned when the blonde stood, green eyes locked on her.

 

"It's time." was all the Inquisitor said, the two women leaping immediately to action.

 

Cassandra went running, knowing they would need Skyhold's main healer and to let the others know what was going on.

 

Ayr - now almost six months into her own pregnancy - began to gather supplies from around the room, slowed by her own swollen belly and grimacing when she had to bend to grab certain things. Ayr was _much_ bigger then Amaris had been at the same point, but then Ayr also had a smaller frame then the blonde, and her baby _was_ half human. Still, the redhead made do, and had things set up fairly quickly.

 

Solas beat Cassandra back, concern radiating off of him as he helped Amaris change into a loose shift, staying close by her side as she did slow laps around the room.

 

Cullen and Josephine were with Cassandra when she returned with the healer, Cullen going to Ayr and helping her set up a few final things, Josephine mostly there for moral support.

 

Amaris was determined to stay on her feet and moving until her contractions started, Solas doing laps alongside her. Cassandra and Josephine conversed quietly with the healer, and Ayr and Cullen sat on the couch and watched worriedly, the redheads hands pressed over her own belly.

 

Then, _finally_ , Amaris winced when a contraction hit - an hour or so later - and turned for the bed, everyone catching the signal and jumping to act.

 

Cullen left the room after giving Ayr a reassuring kiss, leaving the women to see to the Inquisitor as Amaris had requested.

 

No one would tell Solas to leave, and he stayed close at his Mates side as the contractions began in earnest, holding her hand and barely wincing when she would squeeze it in pain.

 

In contrary to the rest of her pregnancy, Amaris' labor was harsh; contractions coming and going, as though now that it was time the babe did not want to come out.

 

All day and through the night, the pattern continued, the blonde warn out but unable to sleep as she struggled through the pain of it.

 

And then finally, as the sun began to rise, the babe made her break for freedom, Amaris crying out as she _pushed_ and listened to the healers barked instructions, grip a vice on Solas' hand.

 

And then the babe was out, slipping from her body into the healers waiting hands, and the tiny little girl gave a hearty wail before the umbilical cord was cut and she was whisked away to be cleaned.

 

Exhausted, Amaris slumped back against her pillows and smiled weakly when Solas pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering affectionate, _proud_ things to her, eyes glowing as he looked at her.

 

"Lady Amaris," the healer stepped up beside them, offering her a swaddled bundle, "Your daughter, Inquisitor."

 

Amaris took the bundle gingerly, smiling softly down at the tiny face staring back at her. The baby was _small_ , though thankfully not unnaturally so, with wide blue eyes and the tiniest hint of blonde fuzz.

 

"Well hello there," she cooed gently, pressing a short kiss to the child's forehead and smiling wider when she made a content noise, "Beautiful little girl."

 

"She looks just like her mother," Solas murmured into her hair, almost hesitating as he lifted a hand to brush a long finger against the babes cheek, expression one of bewildered joy as he stared at her, "You spoil me, Vhenan. I... do not deserve this happiness."

 

"Yes you do." Amaris tilted her head up, kissing him gently, "We both do. Ar lath ma, Solas."

 

"Ar lath ma, Amaris, Bellanaris." Solas whispered back, "Did you think of a name, love?"

 

"Adhlea." she smiled, laughing as the morning light drifted in through the windows, "For my mother."

 

" _Light of Dawn_ ," Solas murmured, smiling down at the sleepy babe, his arm tight around her shoulders, "It's perfect."

 

 _Yes_ , Amaris thought, glancing up and sharing a smile with Ayr, _It is._

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Perhaps a month later, Amaris was woken by soft giggling and cooing, a smile stretching her lips even as she wondered what time it was.

 

Adhlea had turned out to be a rather colicky baby, for the first couple of weeks. She wasn't happy unless she was being held, and had kept Amaris up several nights with her crying from the basinet.

 

She seemed better when Solas was there - and when he was, they could bring her to bed with them, knowing she was safely snuggled between them - but when it was just Amaris, she was to afraid Adhlea would roll off the opposite edge sometime in the night to do so.

 

Which led to a cranky Adhlea, and a rather sleep deprived Amaris.

 

But now... her little girl was a _mage_ , no doubt about it, and Amaris could only smile when she woke to such giggling, wishing Solas was there so she could _show_ him just how special their daughter was.

 

He had left again three weeks after she'd given birth to Adhlea, saying he'd gotten a lead and needed to follow it immediately.

 

"I won't be gone long." he'd promised, kissing her and brushing a hand affectionately over the baby's head, "I will be back as quickly as I am able to be, Vhenan."

 

"Be safe, Vhenan." she had responded.

 

It had been a week, and as such Solas was due to return shortly... so when the wind picked up and almost _howled_ in through the open balcony doors, Amaris was instantly on her feet and moving towards the source.

 

As usual, her instincts had been right. Solas met her at the threshold of the doors, sweeping her into his arms for a deep, passionate kiss.

 

"Well now..." Amaris gasped when he released her mouth, voice breathy as she sunk against him, " _That's_ a welcome hello."

 

"I missed you, Vhenan,"  Solas mumbled, bending to kiss her again, arms tight around her, "And I may have found a way to remove the Anchor. Gods, the time I have to spend away from you now drives me insane..."

 

"Welcome _home_ , Vhenan." she whispered into the kiss, pulling away after a moment to lead him backwards, towards the basinet, "Come, see the talent your daughter has developed during your travels."

 

"Talent...?"

 

Solas' words cut off when they stood perhaps a foot from the crib, breath catching at the sight.

 

Adhlea was wide awake, blue eyes the colour of a stormy sky wide and thrilled as she reached for the colourful wisps floating above her, giggling when her hand would pass through one.

 

"Spirits?" Solas questioned, gaze immediately on Amaris.

 

"Mhm. She started doing this a few days ago; I put wards up, to be sure they're friendly spirits," Amaris grinned at him, "Our daughter is most definitely a _mage_ , Solas, and it seems she shares your affinity for spirits."

 

Amaris yelped when suddenly the world spun and Solas was carrying her bridal style towards their bed, her arms automatically going around his neck, "Solas! What-?"

 

"You are amazing, Amaris," her Mate declared, placing her on the bed and then caging her with his torso, kissing her deeply, "You are _perfect_ , and wonderful. And you have given me a beautiful, _powerful_ child... I am _never_ letting you go, Vhenan."

 

" _Good_." Amaris wrapped herself around him with a happy laugh, pulling him down to the bed and curling against him, "Welcome _home_ , Solas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! Hope it was okay! :3
> 
> Like I said, LET ME KNOW if the kid sequel is something you guys would be interested in! You've seen spoilers for it if you follow me on Tumblr haha <3
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day! <3


	19. A Fiery Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayr Lavellan never expected her life to turn out like this.
> 
> When she went to the Conclave, her purpose was simple: find Amaris and get out.
> 
> She didn't expect to fall in love or get married. She certainly didn't expect to have children.
> 
> Three months after Amaris gives birth to Adhlea, Ayr goes into labor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I DID I FINISHED ANOTHER CHAPTER *flop*
> 
> Somehow I always have an easier time writing Ayr and Cullen then I do Amaris and Solas, so their chapters are always longer to. Sorry guys! I'm trying!
> 
> THIS IS NOT THE END!! DEFINITELY NOT! You get some more stuff in this one BEFORE I swap over to the sequel-kidfic! Cause that one deals with the kids when they're OLDER, not when they're tiny babies/children!
> 
> QUICK SHOUT OUT to a few of you who've been here since the beginning! Martini_September for listening to my rambling on Tumblr (<3 you Adi!), Mayamelissa for always giving me awesome little reviews <3!, and Kittenkact for giving me FAR MORE IDEAS for this fic then she probably realizes (hope all's good with the niece! :3 ) 
> 
> And KUDOS TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS SUPPORTED ME WITH THIS FIC! YOU ROCK!
> 
> ...AGAIN NOT THE END I WAS JUST BEING SENTIMENTAL XD
> 
> Without further ado, PLEASE ENJOY! <3

Ayr had just hit her five month mark - roughly a month or so before Amaris would give birth to Adhlea - when she entered Cullen's office and frowned at the ladder to the loft, a hand on her still growing belly.

 

She wasn't huge... _yet_ , but considering she was bigger than Amaris had been at the same point, Ayr had a bad feeling that certain motions would soon be near impossible for her.

 

_Especially_ climbing ladders.

 

"Cullen, we have a problem."

 

Whatever paperwork the Commander had been looking over was instantly dropped, her husband coming immediately around his desk to hook an arm around her and look her over in a panic, "What's wrong? What happened? Is it the baby-?"

 

" _Nothing's_ wrong, Cullen, calm down." Ayr lifted her hands to frame his face and give him a reassuring grin, feeling bad for scaring him, "The baby and I are both _fine_ \- though the little brat is still giving me ridiculous _nausea_ \- I'm just foreseeing an issue with our... sleeping arrangements."

 

Cullen's brow creased, one arm still around her while his other hand automatically drifted to rest on her belly, "An issue? Why-?" his gaze drifted to the ladder and understanding lit in his eyes, "Ah, the _ladder_..."

 

"I'm not huge yet, but when I'm bigger I won't be able to _climb_. Not safely, and certainly not _comfortably_." Ayr stroked his cheek with her thumb, sighing a little, "I think I'll need to look into other rooms for the rest of my pregnancy, Vhenan... and probably afterwards, honestly, a loft isn't safe for a newborn."

 

" _We_ will have to speak to Amaris and Solas about procuring other rooms, love; Solas knows the Keep better than anyone, after all," Cullen smirked at her questioning look, grip on her tightening just a little, "You didn't _really_ think I wouldn't move rooms with you, Ayr, did you? Much as I prefer to be close to my office, things have calmed down now; we are no longer fighting an active war. Perhaps it is time to move into the Main Keep."

 

"Good. Because if you _hadn't_ agreed I would have had to pout at you until you _did_." Ayr teased, one hand drifting down to press over his on her belly, the other still resting along his jaw, "I'm sure Amaris can figure something out, for us."

 

"I believe you're right, Vhenan." Cullen bent to kiss her, a gentle touch that made her purr, and for the moment her worries were pushed aside. It was just she, Cullen, and their child, growing safely within her.

 

Life may have turned out vastly different then what she had expected, but Ayr would never give up this happiness.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

As it turned out, Amaris was - as always - two steps ahead of them.

 

"I _knew_ you would be needing to move into the Main Keep sooner or later, you two," the Inquisitor laughed from her seat at the breakfast table, carefully sipping tea over her swollen belly. At almost eight months, Amaris was heavily pregnant, and likely as big as she would be getting. The baby could really come at any time.

 

"So... you have something in mind?" Ayr questioned her cousin, reaching for more strawberries; her baby seemed to love them as much as she did, if her constant cravings for them was any indication.

 

"I have something _prepared_ , Ayr, please. Give me _some_ credit. Vivienne sent a _ridiculous_ amount of gifts when she learned you were pregnant to, remember?" Amaris' eyes were bright, grin wide and happy, "Where did you think they all _went_?"

 

"Storage?" Ayr answered honestly, shrugging, "It's not like we could use most of the things until the babies were _born_ , right? Made sense."

 

"True, but Solas and I thought it best to be proactive; we have a small nursery set up in our rooms already, and, well... do you remember that _other_ hallway off of my private quarters, Ayr? The stairs going _down_ instead of _up_?"

 

Ayr's eyebrows lifted, "The one that was always inaccessible because of construction?"

 

"It's not inaccessible anymore," Amaris quipped, sipping her tea with a secretive smile, "Come, finish your breakfast, Ayr, then grab Cullen from whatever business has delayed him. I'll _show_ you."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Ayr would be the first to admit, she hadn't really _been_ to Amaris' private quarters since moving into Cullen's loft. They were _Solas'_ rooms, to, and she felt like she was invading on their personal space. So admittedly, she hadn't really noticed anything happening with that _other_ staircase, since it had been littered with debris and under construction practically since they'd _arrived_ at Skyhold.

 

Now, following Amaris through the door in the Main Hall, Ayr was surprised by how clean and strangely _vibrant_ the little hallway was, no more debris or extra flags or cobwebs littering the space, the windows clean and allowing bright sunlight to flood in.

 

Amaris headed immediately to the left, and when she grimaced Cullen was at her side to offer an arm and carefully help her down the new staircase, returning the Inquisitors grateful smile with a nod.

 

Ayr grinned at the interaction - she loved that everyone in their little group got on so well, so _easily_ \- and followed slowly after them, being sure to keep a hand on the banister so Cullen wouldn't worry _too_ much and doing her best to focus on the steps.

 

Amaris released Cullen's arm once they'd reached the landing and strode carefully towards the single door ahead of them, digging in the pocket of her tunic and producing a set of three keys.

 

The blonde unlocked the door, pushed it open, and then stepped back with a smile, motioning them in, "Have a look."

 

Ayr and Cullen shared a glance before passing through the door, stopping just past the threshold and looking around in shock.

 

"By the Maker..." Cullen breathed, and Ayr didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what, but she felt like she was going to start bawling.

 

The rooms they had stepped into were probably about the same size as Amaris' own quarters and, judging by the floor to ceiling windows and single set of balcony doors, they were likely right _below_ her cousins rooms.

 

They'd stepped into a small foyer of sorts - just a small little square, just enough to separate the rest of the rooms from the door - and it extended from there, leading first into a small sitting area complete with a fireplace, couch and single arm chair to the right.

 

To the left was an office like area obviously meant for Cullen - a desk, chair, and several bookcases took up the corner.

 

There was a door off the left wall - a private latrine for them, Amaris explained - and then a _huge_ bed taking up the back left corner, bigger than the one they currently shared, with a night table on each side and two chests of drawers nearby. Along the back wall, close by their bed, was a basinet and several other amenities for the baby, most of the items courtesy of a certain Enchanter in Val Royeaux. Then the balcony door, and a window seat with cushions and blankets, several plush rugs thrown over the stone floors.

 

And everything was in warm crimson and gold, _their_ colours, lightened only slightly in the baby's corner and otherwise splashed everywhere in the room.

 

"I take it you like it?" Amaris quipped from behind them, smiling widely and looking incredibly pleased with herself.

 

"You have outdone yourself, Amaris," Cullen managed to chuckle after several moments, gaze a tad reverent when he turned towards her, "Thank you for this."

 

Ayr was still to choked up on pregnancy hormones to give a coherent reply; instead she just hugged her cousin as tightly as their bellies would allow, grinning even as she fought back tears.

 

"You are _amazing_ , you know that?" she finally managed to whisper, sniffling as a few rogue tears made it past her barrier.

 

"You deserve it." Amaris grinned back, wiping the tears away, "Get settled in, you two, you can move in whenever you like."

 

"I'll have to get some help to bring things down from the Loft, and my office," Cullen hooked his arm around Ayr and grinned ruefully, "Hopefully, I can convince the men floating around to help out."

 

"Cassandra will probably help to, you know." Ayr teased.

 

"That she probably will."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Cassandra _did_ help with moving them from the Loft into the new rooms, in fact; the Seeker was more than happy to assist, babbling on excitedly about the cousin's babies.

 

"With how you talk about them, I imagine _you'd_ like children as well, Cassandra?" Amaris enquired innocently when they all sat down to dinner afterwards.

 

The Seeker blushed and stammered for a moment, gaze on anything _except_ Varric when she eventually replied "P-perhaps _some_ day, Inquisitor."

 

From the way his gaze had softened, Ayr would guess that Varric was of the same mind.

 

It wasn't just Cassandra that helped them move, of course.

 

Bull did most of the heavy lifting, though he refused to go _up_ to the loft on the belief that he might get _stuck_. Cullen helped bring things down the ladder, since he was used to manoeuvring up and down it.

 

Dorian grouched about 'menial labor' but helped carry books regardless, always sparing a wink and a grin for Ayr.

 

Solas - back for the time being - helped as well, and Josephine stayed with Ayr and Amaris in the rooms to oversee the placement of things.

 

Cole -being Cole - was too distracted investigating the babies things to really help, but that was okay; more than once he'd helped soothe Ayr's babe when all she wanted to do was kick, lighting up every time he was able to help.

 

Finally, once everything was moved and they'd all eaten supper, Cullen and Ayr retreated sleepily to their new rooms, flopping into bed and promising they would sort things out _tomorrow_.

 

Ayr snuggled as close to her husband's side as she could, considering her belly, sighing in content when he draped an arm over her and squeezed gently.

 

"Good night, Vhenan." she whispered drowsily, "Welcome home."

 

"Good night, Ayr." Cullen murmured into her hair, "Welcome home."

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

The rest of Ayr's pregnancy passed fairly quickly - despite continued nausea and pains - and rather uneventfully.

 

Amaris gave birth to Adhlea when Ayr was about six months in - a beautiful little girl with storm blue eyes and blonde fuzz - and the redhead did her best to help with caring for her tiny niece, to practice for her own baby and to give Amaris _some_ relief.

 

Though at first Adhlea was incredibly colicky and was only happy when both Solas and Amaris were near, she settled after a few weeks, already showing signs of magic.

 

As Ayr entered her seventh month - and _prayed_ her belly would stop growing shortly, as she already felt like a _whale_ \- they received a letter from Alistair and Ayre with news of their own.

 

Not only had the pair left the Grey Wardens - now cured of the Blight, and wishing for some time to themselves - but Surana was now expecting as well.

 

"We will have to let them know they're welcome here anytime," Amaris had grinned over Adhlea's head, rocking the baby gently, "Mayhaps their child will be close to our girls, as well."

 

"It _would_ be nice for them to have friends that _aren't_ their cousins," Ayr teased, already working on a response back while leaning against Cullen, his arm a familiar weight around her.

 

"I'm sure they'll have _many_ friends," Cullen chuckled warmly, pressing a kiss to Ayr's forehead and mumbling "If a certain other pair ever actually makes any more _progress_."

 

The Cousins only shared a grin and shrugged, Ayr sending the letter once it was finished.

 

Life, as it always seems to, moved forwards.

 

Though he was still searching for a way to remove the Anchor - and drawing closer, he swore - Solas began spending more time at Skyhold then he did away, clearly wanting to be with Amaris and Adhlea and often spotted curled with his girls on a couch in the Rotunda or out in the Gardens.

 

As Ayr entered her 8th month, she thanked the Creators they'd moved out of the Loft; she could hardly _move_ normally, never mind climbing up and down a ladder.

 

All of her weight was in her belly and her breasts, and as a normally very _skinny_ elf, she'd grown more and more self conscious as her belly had swelled.

 

She was bigger than Amaris had been, but there were reasons and she knew it. Ayr had always been the lankier of the two of them, _and_ her baby was half-human, which was probably the major factor.

 

It didn't stop her from scowling in the mirror, barely even able to wrap her arms around herself and feeling rather ugly because of it.

 

Cullen caught her staring and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her belly and resting his chin on her head, "Come to bed, Ayr."

 

"I look like a whale." Ayr grumbled, though she leaned back into him and felt slightly better with his warmth surrounding her.

 

"You look _beautiful_ , Ayr," he pressed a kiss to her hair, grinning softly, "You're vibrant and glowing with life."

 

Ayr snorted, though she was smiling as she turned her head towards him, "You're just biased, Cullen."

 

"Maybe. Doesn't mean it's not true." her husband leaned down to kiss her, reassuring her with his touch, "Come to bed."

 

"Yes, Vhenan."

 

Ayr allowed him to lead her to the bed and climbed carefully on, laying on her side - since she couldn't even _think_ about sleeping on her back or stomach, anymore - and sighing happily when Cullen laid down behind her, arm wrapping around her.

 

_Only a month left._ was her last thought before she succumbed to sleep.

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

_She was dreaming._

_This didn't seem like the Fade, though. It was Skyhold, and yet... not._

_Ayr didn't pay attention to the scenery, however. She was too busy chasing the Flame._

_It seemed to be the tiniest flicker - like an orb of fire cast by a mage - and yet it was **giggling** , and leading her as though playing tag._

_Ayr just laughed and played along, darting through the halls after the childish laughter, body - as it usually was in her dreams - lithe as it had been before her pregnancy._

_She dashed out into the Gardens and came to a halt, grinning widely as she slowly approached the scene before her._

_Cullen sat relaxing on a bench in the gazebo, eyes closed and head tilted back, breathing even. It **was** Cullen, not a wisp or Spirit; he joined her in the Fade at night, on occasion, when the Bond would draw them together in their sleep._

_In his lap sat the Flame, calm and bright and still bubbling with childish laughter, and her grin widened as she snuck closer._

_Cullen heard her coming - he always did - and golden eyes slipped open, lips pulling in an affectionate smirk._

_"Looks like mommy found us, Issi." he mumbled gently to the Flame, eliciting a delighted giggle from it._

_Issi is a short form for a name, Ayr thought as she drew closer, smile wavering as the scene began to flicker. It's short for-_

_The thought trailed off as a sudden burst of pain bloomed in her belly, a contraction that made her knees buckled as the dream slipped away, hissing out a breath as the Fade disappeared._

_Creators, it's **time**...!_

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Ayr snapped awake with a gasp and a moan, clutching her belly as the pain flared anew and shot up her spine. "C-Cullen-!"

 

"Mhmmm? Ayr? Ayr!" Cullen was up and steadying her the moment he clued in, startled, "Is it-?"

 

"It's _time_." she managed to moan, feeling wetness bloom between her thighs and cursing unintelligibly, "The baby's _coming_."

 

"What do you need?"

 

"Get _Amaris_ , and the healer." shaky as she was, Ayr managed to support herself on her arms when he moved away, flinching as another contraction hit her, " _Quick_ , Vhenan."

 

Cullen was off immediately, Ayr managing to get her smalls off and toss them aside before the contractions hit harder and she was forced to lay back and grit her teeth, just trying to _breathe_.

 

_Hold on a little longer, little one,_ she prayed, sucking in a sharp breath as another pain flared, _Just wait for the healer. Hurry, Cullen!_

 

"Ayr!" Cullen came crashing back in maybe a total of five minutes later, Amaris and the healer hot on his heels.

 

"I'm okay," she panted, gripping his hand when he offered it and managing a weak smile, "It seems our... little one is rather _anxious_ to be ouuuuungh!"

 

"The babe is already crowning!" the healer cursed and spread Ayr's legs further apart, barking instructions to Amaris and Cassandra when the Seeker came rushing in the door, "Blankets, now! Be ready!"

 

"I spend almost 24 hours in labor and you're spending maybe ten _minutes_ ," Amaris tried to joke as she set things up, "Hardly seems fair."

 

Ayr was in too much pain to respond, but she managed a half-smirk before she was gritting her teeth together again with a hiss, pushing automatically as the contractions grew worse.

 

The rest was a blur; Ayr pushed as directed and then suddenly, with one last heave, the pain was gone. There was silence for a moment, the rustling of blankets, and then a healthy _wail_ pierced the air, and she slumped back into the pillows, panting and relieved.

 

"Here, let's get the cord cut and the babe cleaned up a bit."

 

"Quickest labor I've ever seen; I'm _jealous_ , Ayr."

 

"Hey..." the redhead mumbled, eyes closed as she fought for breath, " _You_ had the easy pregnancy, remember? Fair's fair..."

 

"You did _wonderful_ , love," Cullen's voice was warm and tinged with breathless adoration, lips warm where they pressed against her forehead, "Though I hope you won't _scare_ me so badly when the time for the next comes."

 

"Sorry, Vhenan," Ayr opened her eyes and grinned ruefully up at him, lifting her hand to his cheek and grinning wider when he pressed a kiss to her palm, "Though I'll take a twenty minute labor over a twenty four _hour_ one any day."

 

"I suppose you're right..."

 

"Ayr," Amaris' soft voice interrupted them, drawing their attention to the blonde elf and the squirming bundle in her arms, "Meet your daughter."

 

Swallowing thickly as the reality set in, Ayr shifted into more of a sitting position and held her arms out, carefully accepting the bundle and gazing reverently down at the tiny life she held.

 

The baby stared right back, eyes bright and _gold_ like her fathers, the barest of fuzz on her head indicating she would be a redhead. She was bigger than Adhlea - though surprisingly not by much - and her ears were rounded, as she'd known they would be.

 

But staring down at her child - _their_ child, she and Cullen's - Ayr's heart was immediately lost to those big golden eyes.

 

"Look, Cullen," she murmured, turning slightly as he sat on the bed next to her, hooking one arm around her shoulders, "She's got your eyes."

 

"She's beautiful," Cullen lifted a hand and gently caressed the baby's head, sounding about ready to cry when she giggled and _smiled_ at them, "Like her mother."

 

"Did you think of a name?" Amaris questioned quietly from the end of the bed, smile bright and happy and proud.

 

Ayr thought back to the dream she'd been woken from - of the Flame, and the name Cullen had addressed it by - and grinned "Isera. Issi for short."

 

"That sounds... familiar." Cullen was still entranced by the baby, expression soft, "But pretty, strong. What does it mean?"

 

"Fiery Dream. Which is what this little one's been since the beginning." Ayr turned then, reaching up to grab his collar and pull him down for a kiss, "Ar lath ma, Cullen. I love you. Are you ready for this?"

 

"I love you to, Ayr Rutherford," Cullen was grinning as he kissed her back, arm tight around her and Isera, "I am ready for anything, so long as I am at your side."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was okay! :3 AGAIN PEOPLE, IF YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN READING THE SEQUEL ABOUT THE KIDS LET ME KNOW!!
> 
> Kudos and comments (especially comments!) make my day! <3<3


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In 9:49 Dragon, the Divine makes a record of the happenings of the past few years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS. LOOK. I FINISHED IT! IT ONLY TOOK ME... WHAT, TWO MONTHS? XD;; I'M SO SORRY!! Anime North happened and then the KIDS took over my brain and... UGH.
> 
> BUT HERE YOU GO! I sincerely hope this ties the story up properly! I thought it kept it from getting to cluttered and jumping all over the place, and I like how it turned out - I hope you'll agree!
> 
> Just want to give a HUGE SHOUT OUT to everyone who supported this story! I came into this fandom thinking no one would enjoy my writing and BAM, to my surprise, you guys liked it! I can't even tell you excited I get every time I get a notice for a kudos or a comment (especially comments tho let's be honest haha)
> 
> But don't think this is the end! Ohhh no, definitely not! I'll be writing a sequel about the kids, and I'll put some more details about that in the notes after the chapter!
> 
> I also fully intend to keep writing + posting oneshots to both the Oneshot collection and Modern AU's as ideas hit me, and I WILL eventually finish Tales of the Warden! (Since Ayre is kind of in CL to and her SON is a big player in the sequel!!)
> 
> But... without further ado, please enjoy this final chapter! It's not super long, but I think I tied things off nicely. :3 <3 Enjoy!

**Epilogue**

 

**_9:49 Dragon, 31st of Harvestmere._ **

_I write this in the hopes that I may preserve the happenings of the last few years, despite attempts to potentially erase them from history. As a first hand witness, I can attest that what is written here is the truth, no matter how strange or outlandish it may seem._

_In 9:41 Dragon, the Conclave was destroyed and the Inquisition founded with Inquisitor Amaris Lavellan at its head, her cousin Ayr Lavellan serving at her side._

_By the end of 9:42 Dragon, Corypheus - The Elder One - had been defeated, the Venatori mostly silenced, and relative peace ruling Thedas for the time._

_9:43 Dragon saw several important events, which I will list below:_

_-On the 4th day of Guardian, Inquisitor Amaris gave birth to she and Solas' daughter, naming her Adhlea._

_-On the 4th day of Bloomingtide, Ayr Rutherford gave birth to the first of she and Commander Cullen Rutherford's children, a daughter they named Isera._

_-On the 21st day of Kingsway, Alistair Theirin was crowned King of Ferelden on Anora's request, with Ayre Theirin - Hero of Ferelden and former Warden Commander - as his Queen._

_-Anora passed away from the Blight on the 25th day of Kingsway._

_-On the 21st day of Firstfall, Queen Ayre Theirin gave birth to Crown Prince Silas Duncan Theirin._

_-Sometime in Drakonis, Professor Frederic discovered and recovered a clutch of Dragon eggs; they were brought back to Skyhold and left in an empty cell in the hold of the Keep, believed to be dormant but useful for study._

_-On the 30th day of Haring, Varric Tethras was named Viscount of Kirkwall; Cassandra Pentaghast-Tethras would join him as Viscountess after their marriage in Wintermarch of 9:44 Dragon._

_In 9:44 Dragon, a Peace Talk was held through an Exalted Council between Orlais and Ferelden, with the Inquisitor at its head. As Lady Lavellan was both a close friend of the Ferelden monarchs, and had aided Empress Celene numerous times, the Peace Talks went smoothly, and the treaties are still in place._

_During the Peace Talks, a Qunari plot was discovered and overthrown, thanks to aid from an Elvhen source, not yet identified. Lady Amaris Lavellan was cured of the Anchor shortly after, though she lost partial usage of her left arm due to its removal._

_In 9:47 Dragon, on the 10th day of August, Ayr Rutherford gave birth to twins; naming them Serena and Terys. The year also saw many visits from the Theirin Monarchs to Skyhold, the children becoming close friends._

_In 9:48 Dragon, Drakonis, two of the Dragon Eggs hatched, birthing live Dragonlings from what had been believed a dead clutch. They imprinted on Adhlea and Isera; the former an Ice breather the Inquisitors daughter dubbed 'Frost', the latter a Fire breather the eldest Rutherford named 'Ember'. Most people present at Skyhold disliked the Dragonlings presence and believed them better dead - until they saved the girls from an assassination attempt from Tevinter, earning their place in the Keep as trusted Guardians._

_Just over a week prior to my writing this, on the 20th of Harvestmere, 9:49 Dragon, Ayr Rutherford gave birth to she and Commander Rutherford's youngest son, Faron. He is their final child, as letters have informed me that due to complications Ayr is unable to have any more children. She and the babe are alive and well, thank the Maker, and as it stands the world is quiet._

_The Inquisitor and her followers remain at Skyhold, powerful but serene, supporting and supported by both Ferelden and Orlais. It is too early to say for sure, but I believe the children of these powerful forces - Lavellan, Rutherford, Theirin, and others - will soon be changing the world. I hope, for the better._

_I end this now with a prayer to the Maker and Andraste; that this history will be remembered, and these brave souls honored in years to come._

_I shall do my own part to ensure the peace remains, and that Thedas remembers its heroes as they were._

_Normal people, thrown into terrible situations, who overcame the burdens and succeeded._

_Change is in the air. We shall see where it leads._

**_Divine Victoria_ **

**_Leliana_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you liked it!!! PLEASE let me know okay??? Kudos and comments are, as always, love!
> 
> Now for those details I mentioned!
> 
> The Sequel to CL - which will be called 'Journeys' - is going to take place roughly 19 years after the births of Adhlea and Isera, and it'll focus mostly on them and Silas Theirin, as well as the other Rutherford kids. I don't want to give away to many spoilers, but it's basically about them all journeying through Thedas together, about their experiences and lives and how everything turns out for the next generation.
> 
> I hope anyone who enjoyed this will be willing to give it a shot when I finally get it going!! I don't want to make any promises, time wise, but I will try to have it up fairly soon!! :D Until then, thank you SO MUCH for all your love and support!!! Take care guys, until next time! <3


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